Disclaimer: the characters Xena and Gabrielle, as well as any of the other characters created for the television show, are not mine <duh>. However, the storyline and the other supporting characters are mine.

There is sexual content within this story. Be forewarned.

 

BURIED MEMORIES

Copyright 1997 Robin A. Reed (Themiscrya)

"Suddenly, the hydra swayed her heads back and forth in front of them, mesmerizing the men with her fluid movements..." Gabrielle, waved her hands in the air as she weaved another of her endless tales of heroes and heroines.

The two women walked side-by-side, their steps stirring up a fine cloud of dust, the road stretching endlessly in front of them. The dense forest and plants along side the trail had added to the monotony of the journey, nothing had seemed to change in days.

"I never thought I'd be wishing for rain," Xena absently thought to herself as she squinted and bent her head back to look up at the cloudless sky. She let out a soft sigh as she lowered her eyes, glancing over towards Gabrielle who was completely immersed in her tale. Xena shook her head slightly, a small grin tugging at her lips.

"Aphrodite, she can definitely steal a woman's heart, but If I have to listen to that story again...."

Something lightly brushed against Xena senses and she stopped suddenly grabbing Gabrielle by the arm, startling her into silence. Xena turned her head slightly to the right listening for something, anything. Gabrielle stood motionless, waiting for Xena to discover what was wrong.

"Gabrielle. There's fighting ahead. Be careful." Xena whispered to her as she handed her the reins to Argo.

Xena took off in a sprint, relieved to finally have some distraction in their tediously long journey. Gabrielle followed a short distance behind her, still refusing to ride when she could walk or run.

Just ahead of her the path turned sharply to the left and Xena slowed her approach, gliding effortlessly into the dense foliage, her presence completely concealed. The road dipped slightly after the bend and it was there that Xena found the source of the fighting.

A small woman was surrounded and being taunted by a group of several men. The battle had been going on for sometime, three of the attackers already lay motionless on the ground around her. The other men, obviously being more cautious, circled her, taking turns lunging at her, striking and backing off.

"They're trying to tire her out," Xena thought to herself. "Hmmm...there is something familiar about her, but..." The thought tugged at her mind as she surveyed the scene and planned her attack.

"Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyi", echoed through the air as she launched herself towards

the closest two men.

The woman seemed to stiffen at the sound, nearly being stabbed by another one of the men, before she abruptly dropped to one sweeping the staff around behind her. As the man fell senselessly to the ground she turned to see who else had entered into the fray.

"Hey Ithius, look, another woman! We won't have to wait near as long for our share of fun now!" One of the men yelled to another.

Xena, who had been toying with the first two men, quickly dispatched them from the fight and turned to face the loudmouth. Her trademark smirk prominent on her face.

"Now, we wouldn't want you to have to wait for some fun, would we?" She lowered her head just slightly, never taking her eyes off the man and began to walk determinedly towards him, her sword slashing intricate patterns through the air at her side. The man's dark eyes grew larger, but he stood his ground confidant in his ability as a man.

"C'mere brave little man." She motioned with her empty hand towards herself.

"Let's you and I have some fun." She taunted him as she stepped to within striking distance.

He raised his sword and ran towards the warrior woman hoping to quickly overpower her. Xena easily sidestepped his reckless attack and spinning her sword brought the hilt down on the back of his neck. He collapsed to the ground all thoughts of fun dismissed.

The enigmatic woman gaped at Xena as if entranced. Her skin took on a grayish pallor and her hands began to shake. She dropped the staff and slumped to her knees, oblivious to the battle still continuing around her, never taking her eyes off of Xena.

Gabrielle had arrived and was immediately met by one of the ruffians who had been standing to the side watching the confrontation between Xena and the loudmouth. It took her a few moments to find an opening. Finally, she slammed her staff into his midsection and then snapped it up under his chin to end his involvement. As she looked around to see where to go next, she realized that the woman had fallen.

"Xena!" She yelled for her friend, turning towards Xena, concerned as to what was wrong, wondering why the woman was starring so strangely at her friend.

"Xena?" the woman whispered hoarsely in disbelief....

Xena felt a strange prickling at the base of her neck...and looked around suspiciously. Something seemed strangely familiar, but she couldn't figure it out. She glanced over to where Gabrielle was to make sure that she was all right, but still couldn't shake the feeling that of something that she hadn't felt in a very long time.

Before Xena could turn towards the strange woman, the last man still standing had seen the woman stagger and fall to her knees and had silently made his way around behind her. The woman still hadn't moved knelling like a statue, transfixed by the sight of Xena. Gabrielle was still standing over the man she had fought, and looked back towards the woman just in time to the dagger readied to strike.

"NO!" Gabrielle yelled as she saw the man lunge at the woman's back.

Xena spun around her, a horrified sob catching in her throat.

"Xena…" the woman gasped as she jerked forward, the man's dagger plunging into her back. Her mouth dropped open as she reached out a hand to Xena who was frozen where she had turned.

The woman dropped her hand to the ground, her eyes still locked with

Xena's, as she began to topple forward. Gabrielle had covered the distance between her and the woman quickly but not enough to stop the attack. The man spun and dove into the safety of the dense forest behind him.

"NO! NOOOOO!" the howl that escaped Xena's mouth pierced Gabrielle's heart. She had never heard Xena cry out in such pain. For just an instant she wondered if that was how Xena had sounded when she had died in the temple.

Xena started to take a step towards the fallen woman but staggered and fell to her knees, her eyes glazing over at she continued to stare at the lifeless body.

"What the hell is going on here?" Gabrielle thought to herself as she rushed to her friend's side.

"Xena! Are you hurt? What's wrong?" Xena moved her lips as if to respond, but nothing came out. "Xena! Talk to me. Please! You're scaring me!"

Gabrielle grabbed Xena's shoulders and then moved her hands over Xena's body searching for some wound, but finding none. Xena made no sign of recognizing Gabrielle or anything around her. Gabrielle looked up at Xena's face and turned to look at the woman who Xena could not look away from. They had both seen women killed in battle, what was so different about this one she thought.

Gabrielle looked back at her friend one more time and realizing that she was getting no where with Xena, decided to see if there was anything she could do for the other woman.

She knelt down beside her, and placed her fingers lightly on the woman's neck. A shocked look came over her face as to her surprise, the skin was still warm to the touch and she could feel a faint, yet rapid pulse. Gabrielle looked down into the woman's bronze face. Gabrielle knew that she had never met this woman before and wondered what there was between her and Xena. Gabrielle glanced back to Xena who still hadn't moved. She got to her feet and rushed back over to her.

"Xena! Xena! She's still alive!" Gabrielle grabbed her by the shoulders and started to shake her vigorously.

"Xena! I need your help. She needs your help. Xena, she's alive." Gabrielle softened her voice, resting her hands on Xena's shoulders. "Xena, listen to my voice. She's alive, but just barely. Xena!"

As if waking from a deep sleep, Xena's eyes began to focus on Gabrielle's face. Her lips began to move, still no sound came out.

Gabrielle moved her hands up to cup Xena's cheeks, turning her face towards her. "Xena, that's it. Come back to me! Xena!" Gabrielle begged.

Xena's cloudy blue eyes seemed to be looking at something just beyond Gabrielle. "Tomi…" Xena stammered.

Gabrielle slipped her arms down Xena's broad shoulders, pulling the bigger woman against her. "Oh Xena. You had me so scared." Gabrielle exclaimed, relief evident in her voice. "Xena. She's still alive. But, she needs our help." Gabrielle looked deep into Xena's eyes searching for some recognition.

Xena stood up abruptly her eyes riveted on the injured woman. Catching Gabrielle completely off guard, she knocked her sprawling onto the ground.

"She's...she's alive?" Xena said questioning, as if she couldn't believe it.

"Yeah," Gabrielle responded while trying to brush herself off.

Xena ran towards the small woman, pulling her up to cradle the still form in her arms.

Gabrielle managed to stand up, watching Xena, relief giving way to a growing uneasiness as Xena rocked the woman, holding her tightly up against her chest.

"Ah...I'll go get the medicinal herbs and strips of cloth." Gabrielle offered.

Xena made no response, as she just sat there on her knees keening quietly. Gabrielle grimaced noticeably, concern etched on her face.

"Okay, I'll be right back." Gabrielle turned her back to Xena and hurried over to where Argo had wandered off to, contentedly nibbling on the sparse grass. She reached into the saddlebag, and rushed back to Xena with the supplies.

Xena was still cradling the woman and Gabrielle had to touch Xena on her arm to get her attention.

"Xena. Xena, you have to cleanse and bind the wound."

Gabrielle had never seen Xena this way and it scared her more than any thing that she had been through with Xena. Even facing Ares hadn't been so terrifying as seeing Xena like this. Something was wrong here, very wrong and she didn't know what to do.

Xena looked down at the woman and shook her head as if trying to clear her thoughts. Looking back up at Gabrielle she seemed to become more coherent, a semblance of recognition back in her eyes.

"Gabrielle. Yeah, Gabrielle. I need...ah...water. Xena moved one bloody hand up to rub her forehead. "I need water, hot water. Also, get a fire started and setup camp, we won't be able to move her." Xena stumbled over the words, her thoughts still not completely coherent. Noticing the blood on her hand for the first time she starred at it, turning her hand over and over as if looking for it's source.

Gabrielle laid her hand on Xena's shoulder, "Are you okay now?" She inquired tenderly still very concerned.

"Gabrielle, I don't have time for this!" Xena growled. "I can do this. I have to help her." She wiped her hand back and forth on her skirt. "I should have always been there for her." Xena said distantly, looking off towards the horizon.

"All right Xena, all right, whatever you say. " Gabrielle walked away from the two women and began to gather wood for the fire, needing to get away from Xena's despair until she could figure out what was going on.

Xena bent over and softly kissed the woman in her arms on the forehead and slid her off her lap. She carefully turned her so that she could see where the dagger had struck. The dagger's ivory and gold handle contrasted the bright red blood that had begun to gel around it. A rage threatened to spread over Xena, but as she thought of the woman lying in her arms and commandingly swept the darkness back into its liar.

"Tomi" Xena whispered softly as she brushed a few strands of loose hair back from her face. "I'm here. I'm here. I'll take care of you. You never have to worry again. Oh, Tomi...." Her voice began to waver.

The wound had stopped bleeding and Xena cleaned the area around it making sure that no more dirt could fall into it as she removed the dagger. Xena breathed in deeply and held her breath, steeling herself to the task at hand. She braced one hand on the woman's back and firmly grasped the dagger with her other hand. As she eased it out, Xena winced painfully as the woman moaned weakly and her body stirred slightly.

In the meantime Gabrielle had managed to get the fire going and the water heated. She carried it over to Xena and stood nearby, silently watching Xena tend to the woman. Blood had began to flow back out of the wound, but it took mere moments for Xena to clean and pack the wound. Once the flow of blood had eased to a trickle she finally bandaged it and looked for other wounds. She applied medicine to the other, slighter wounds and turned the woman over onto her back, cradling her head in lap.

"Xena?" Gabrielle approached her tentatively. "Xena?"

"Ah, yeah. What is it Gabrielle?" Xena responded without unemotionally.

"I have camp ready. How is she?"

"I've done what I can. But, I think these wounds will heal." Xena responded almost as if to herself.

"Xena. Who is she?" Xena sat silently, starring at the women who was so familiar, but yet so foreign. "Xena, you know each other don't you?" Gabrielle asked cautiously.

Xena looked down at the woman who seemed to be resting peacefully. She placed her fingertips gently on the woman's forehead caressing the soft skin just about her slender eyebrows.

"Tomi." She whispered. "Her name is Tomyris." Xena said out loud, looking up, her eyes meeting Gabrielle's. "Remember when I told you that you were never to tell the story about the Mt. Vesuvius explosion in my presence?" Xena asked quietly.

Gabrielle silently nodded yes, not wanting to say anything that might interrupt Xena.

"She's from Pompeii. I...I thought...they told me no one survived." Xena's voice faltering as tears welled up in her eyes. "She was...Xena choked, shaking her head as if trying to clear her thoughts.

"Gabrielle...she is my lover."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two

Gabrielle sat wordless, shocked by Xena's revelation. She knew that the woman had been someone meaningful from Xena's past and she knew that Xena had been with both men and women, but to be confronted by one of the women, and for Xena to refer to her as her lover, touched something precariously hidden deep inside.

Xena had turned away from the fire and was looking at the sleeping Tomi. Gabrielle stood up and went over to sit beside Xena, placing her hand lightly on Xena's shoulder.

"Tell me about her. Tell me about the two of you." Gabrielle encouraged, not certain that Xena would respond, but sensing that she needed to talk about it.

Xena's gaze lingered on the motionless woman, her shoulders drooping slightly under Gabrielle's hand as she took a ragged breath.

"Gabrielle, I, I don't know if I can talk about..." Xena managed to say.

"Just start at the beginning and take your time...there's no rush." Gabrielle's hand reached up to gently stroke Xena's hair.

Xena closed her eyes, took a deep breath and summoned up memories that she had buried long ago.

"I met Tomi in a small village just down the road a couple of leagues from Pompeii. We had had just finished an extended raid on Sephiles and I sought somewhere remote to rest and regroup. Adelphilis had a reputation as being a rather rough place, but it was the perfect town where a wandering warlord could go and be left alone. Tomi had been sent to work at the only inn in the village by her father who was the brother of the inn's owner. Her father owed him some money and thought that having his daughter work for him was the easiest way to repay the loan. It was a filthy and raunchy place, unfit for 'anyone's daughter to be working in, but Tomi's father never bothered to visit so he never knew." Xena wrung her hands together and taking another controlled breath continued.

"We had been in town for about a week before I managed to get to the Inn. Inventory and planning our next campaign kept me busy, but finally it was time to for even the "warrior princess" to relax and have a little fun along with my men. There had been some talk about the inn and about one woman in particular. Darphus, my lieutenant, had taken her as his own. I was a little curious, he had never been protective over his women before, but to tell you the truth I was much more interested in losing myself in several rounds of port." Xena lowered her head.

"You see Gabrielle, I didn't think about anyone in particular, after enough port, any man or woman would do for what I had in mind." Xena stopped talking and sat quietly, alone with her thoughts. Gabrielle continued to stroke Xena's hair gently, her fingers caressing the soft strands.

"But then I saw her." Xena raised her head up and stared into space as if viewing something that only she could see.

"She was beautiful than Helen and even more radiant than Aphrodite. I saw Tomi and it felt as if someone had reached right into my chest and torn my heart out. She was the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen." Xena's voice tightened as she remembered the first impression of her lover.

"She was being held by Darphus, his filthy hands tearing at the already tattered collar on her shirt while she struggled to get away from him. The rest of my men were laughing and teasing him about not being able to handle a mere wench. Darphus growled and taking the woman roughly in his arms he picked her up and flung her hard onto the table in front of him sending mugs and plates flying. He told them that he knew how to handle his women and that he'd show them what he was capable of doing." Xena took another deep breath, her shoulders trembling as she fought for control.

"Tomi continued to struggle beneath him, but she was no match as the other men grabbed her arms and legs to hold her while Darphus ripped her shirt and skirt from her. The scene mesmerized me. I hadn't moved from the doorway, my blood was boiling with desire for her. I stood there motionless until Darphus unbuckled the leather belt holding his trousers up. Instantly I moved towards him and grabbed his shoulder roughly whipping him around to face me. He was furious at being interrupted."

" Tomi laid naked on the table, crying softly, the men still holding her spread-eagle on the table. I dared not look down at her, but stood staring at my lieutenant. I asked Darphus why he hadn't mentioned her to me and he replied that he didn't think I'd be that concerned about her since I normally just took whatever was available when the time came for me to be with someone. I told him it wasn't safe for him to think. A murmuring of snickers swept through the inn around us."

"I sensed Darphus tightening his muscles, a defiant gleam hardening his eyes, but he didn't say a word. I raised my voice so everyone in the inn could hear me and staring him straight in the eye told him that she was mine and that no one was ever to touch her again. Instantly the men holding Tomi down released her arms and legs and she curled up into a ball on the table. I saw the rage sweep across Darphus's face, hoping that he would give me a reason to kill him, but he didn't say anything or move to stop me. I guess he didn't figure she was worth dying over. He told me to go ahead and take her, a leer spreading across his face, that it was no big deal to him since he'd already had her."

A slight moan from across the clearing stopped Xena's story and she stood up, rushing over to Tomi's side leaving Gabrielle sitting, her arm still in the air.

Gabrielle lowered her arm slowly, just a hint of pain beginning to register inside her from the obvious concern and caring that Xena was showing for Tomi. Xena knelt next to Tomi, her hands resting on Tomi's shoulders as she murmured consoling words of comfort to the injured woman.

Gabrielle waited patiently, starring into the fire until Tomi settled back into a tranquil sleep and Xena made her way back over to Gabrielle. They sat next to each other for a moment, both lost in their own torturous thoughts.

Xena broke the silence as she continued her story, "I motioned for two of my men to help Tomi up from the table and told them to take her to my tent. She didn't look up at me, keeping her hands clenched in front of herself, as they pushed her from the inn. I remained behind for a few minutes ensuring that the men understood my intentions. I managed to drink a couple of ports, all the time thinking only of the woman that awaited me in my tent." Xena turned to Gabrielle her blue eyes searching for some sign of response from her friend.

"I was a different person then, Gabrielle." Xena said softly. "I could only think of what pleasure she could give me. That night, my passion grew stronger than I had ever felt before." Xena finished and looked away from Gabrielle, unwilling to see the response in Gabrielle's eyes to her confession.

Gabrielle could not respond. Her heart had started beating so hard that she had to concentrate solely just on remembering to breath. She had never heard Xena talk about her passions before with such emotion. She knew about Hercules and Marcus, but both men had seemed like companions to Xena, someone to pacify Xena's physical needs. Nothing she had seen or heard prepared her for the depth of desire that she could hear in Xena's voice, sense in her presence. Gabrielle knew that Xena was capable of many things, but never had she dared venture into the sexual and romantic realm that was Xena.

Xena sensed Gabrielle's distress and worried at the effect her story and emotions were having on her. Xena could feel the turmoil thrashing around inside, threatening to consume her once more. She had been so careful not to let Gabrielle know this side of her. The damage that she could inflict physically did not always manifest itself in death and the destruction of property. She knew that she could also destroy a person's soul with her desires. Though it had taken ever ounce of her strength, Gabrielle had been kept at arm's length. Xena had never been with another woman since Tomi. She had used several men through out the years to take off the physical edge of her cravings, but could never bring herself to touch another woman that way out of fear the memories it might unleash or the passion it might inflame in her once more.

Gabrielle had finally managed to get her breathing back under control and her heart, though still seeming to beat harder than normal, had settled somewhat. She urged Xena on, knowing that if she stopped now, she might never continue the story and also acknowledging a part of her that wanted to know more about this side of Xena.

"Please, Xena. I need to know more."

Xena looked up, her gaze centered on the fire and the flames leaping effortlessly into the darkness. She reached for her sword and whetstone and began sharpening it as her mind recalled the memories.

"After finishing off a few more mugs of port, non of which quenched my thirst, I finally made my way to the tent, hesitating before I went inside, trying to reign in my churning emotions. I couldn't figure out what was going on, I had been with women before, women who had willingly given themselves to me as well as those who I had taken as slaves or as spoils of war. Yet here was this woman who seemed to be able to reach into my soul, dig her nails into me and pull me screaming towards her."

Sparks flew from her sword as she ground the whetstone against it. "I couldn't take it anymore so I grabbed the flap to my tent and flung it back as I burst inside."

Xena stopped abusing her sword, her breath coming in ragged gulps, her shoulders heaving with exertion. Gabrielle's eyes had grown wide as she saw the hunger wash over Xena.

"She was laying there naked on the skins that made up my bed. By the goddess Aphrodite she was the most desirous woman I had ever seen in my life. Her luminous white skin against the darker shades of my bed filled my vision. My hands literally began to shake because I could almost feel how soft her skin had to be. I could almost see my fingers sliding sensuously over her body, her body raising up towards me in response."

Gabrielle shuddered slightly as she pictured Xena's fingers stroking soft, smooth skin, chills cascading through her at the thought of Xena touch. Her heart beating faster as she took careful deep breaths trying to appear calm as she listened to Xena.

"What's happening to me?" She wondered to herself silently. Biting softly on her lower lip she conceded that it must just be part of the excitement of finding the mysterious woman and learning more about Xena's past.

"Yeah, that's it. Okay. I'm fine now." Gabrielle assured herself.

"She was trembling as she lay there and I could do nothing but stand in the doorway staring down at her. After a moment she looked up at me, green eyes like daggers stabbing into my heart. I felt a stab of desire clutch at my insides as if she had run me through with a sword. I staggered under her glare, My head swimming and my knees buckling. I stumbled closer to her finally falling on my knees beside her."

"She recoiled back from me, trying to put as much distance between her and I that she could, but I reached out an arm and caught her around one ankle and pulled her roughly back to next to me. My hand felt as if scorched by her skin, the mere touch of her ignited the craving that had been smoldering in my loins. I lowered my body down onto hers, grabbed a handful of her silky brown hair and pulled her face up to mine." Xena gasped as she threw her head back, eyes closed, her body arching forward as she felt the desire well up inside her as it did so long ago.

"I didn't just want her, Gabrielle. I needed her." Xena growled to Gabrielle.

Gabrielle's breath caught in her throat as her heartbeat echoed in her ears. The sound of Xena's voice calling to her like that of a siren's.

"Xe..." Gabrielle began, but her throat had constricted and the words could not escape.

Xena settled her body back down, lowered her head and turned toward Gabrielle, her eyes blazing with lust. Gabrielle gasped, but managed to find her voice just long enough to utter a fateful question,

"Xena, why have never needed me?"

Xena slide one arm back, settling her weight on it and turned her body towards Gabrielle, barely able to restrain herself..

"I've never stopped needing you." She replied, her eyes locking with Gabrielle's.

Xena could fight it no longer and with an anguished moan reached around Gabrielle's shoulders with her other arm and pulled the supple young woman’s body against her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Three

Gabrielle's arms were pinned against her sides, as she struggled helplessly to pull away. Xena chuckled wickedly to herself and roguishly snaked her other arm up around Gabrielle's firm waist and pulled the bard even closer to her. Xena's body quaked as a liquid heat seared through her veins. Gabrielle's frantic movements fueled the tempest that swirled within her. Xena slid a trembling hand over her friend's albescent shoulders and up into her silky blonde hair. Roughly grabbing a handful she pulled the woman's head up beside her quivering lips.

"Gabrielle. Don't fight me." Xena breathed seductively into her ear.

Xena could feel the sharp intake of breath and the shiver that swept through Gabrielle's body. She closed her eyes and ran her tongue slowly over dry lips as the passion washed over her, knowing that Gabrielle would soon be powerless to stop her own desires.

Xena opened her eyes and sticking her tongue out slowly ran the tip of it along the outline of Gabrielle's ear. A slight moan escaped Gabrielle tightly clenched lips as she continued to struggle against Xena, trying to distance herself from the overwhelming power of her desire.

"Xena, please, don't." Gabrielle pleaded breathlessly as Xena moist tongue began to blaze a passionate trail down the side of her neck.

She knew that Xena was caught up in the memories of what she had once been and what she had felt for Tomi. Gabrielle couldn't deny that she herself was aroused, Xena's hot breath fanning her own smoldering desires, but she didn't want it to be like this, hadn't even known it *could* be like this. She needed time to think.

"Gabrielle... I know you like this...you need this...you need me." Xena's lips crept back up to whisper into Gabrielle's ear. "Right here, right now..." The huskiness of Xena’s voice sent shudders through her body.

Wrapping her hand tighter in Gabrielle's hair Xena began to move her other hand up and around the smaller woman's side. Gabrielle began to whimper, her struggles abating. She was powerless to stop Xena, her resilience melting under Xena's touch, her warm, intoxicating embrace. She had always been overwhelmed by Xena's passion for power and now she was breathless from being caught up in her smothering lust. She could feel Xena's hand blazing a line of fire across the flesh just below the hem of her constricting top.

"This rag has got to go." Xena groaned as she pulled back slightly from Gabrielle. Still holding Gabrielle's hair her other hand slid up her back and clutched the fabric ripping it from Gabrielle's shoulders. Gabrielle flinched as she felt the shirt being torn from her, the cool breeze against her bare skin quickening the desire growing within.

Xena threw the remnants of the shirt in the fire and without warning moved her hand back around Gabrielle and placed it forcefully onto one of Gabrielle's exposed breasts. A stab of desire shot through her as she began to knead the soft flesh with her strong fingers. She dropped her head down to Gabrielle's sensitive neck and began to nibble seductively along her jaw line. Xena's hips began to press forcefully against Gabrielle. Gabrielle again tried to pull away from Xena, the position growing uncomfortable for both of them.

"Enough." Xena bellowed taking her hand off of Gabrielle's breast.

Xena dragged Gabrielle off the log by her hair forcing her to lie down on the bedroll spread out between the log and the fire. Releasing her hold on Gabrielle she stood up and swiftly began to remove her armor.

"I'm tired of playing around." Xena stepped closer, towering over Gabrielle a foot firmly planted on either side of Gabrielle's beckoning hips. Slowly she lowered herself to her knees and sliding her hands to rest on her thighs leaned up over Gabrielle so that she could look down into her eyes.

Xena's gaze swept over Gabrielle's face as she edged closer and closer to Gabrielle's inviting lips, a predatory growl grumbling deep in her chest. "I'm going to make love to you, Gabrielle. Now." She hissed as her lips brushed temptingly across Gabrielle's.

Gabrielle closed her eyes, the anticipation nearly driving her crazy. The desire that burned in Xena's eyes and the yearning in her touch ignited something inside of her she didn't even know existed. Perdicus had touched her, but it had never aroused such a blinding fury.

Gabrielle inhaled deeply, the tenderness of Xena's lips so different from the harshness of her touch. Xena moaned loudly as her lips pressed into Gabrielle's. She kissed Gabrielle, pushing harder against her unyielding lips until Gabrielle gave in and parted hers slightly. Xena's tongue immediately began to explore the newfound warmth and battled ever so slightly with Gabrielle's crumbling hesitancy.

Xena's hands slid off her thighs, one reaching up to entwine itself in Gabrielle's hair while the other moving far enough along Gabrielle's opulent torso to capture a straining breast, squeezing the pliant flesh as it molded to fit around her fingers.

Gabrielle's movements beneath Xena were increasing in intensity and it was all Xena could do to control her own spasming muscles. She deliberately lowered her body, shifting her knees back until her hips rested over Gabrielle's gyrating pelvis. Xena emphatically met each thrust of the woman beneath her as their rhythm's mirrored one another.

Xena broke off the kiss, throwing her head back, her dark hair whipping around her muscular shoulders. She was at the pinnacle of ecstasy...to have the young bard squirming expectantly beneath her brought back a sense of the power she had felt when whole nations surrendered to her will. Lowering her head back down and bracing herself once more on shaky knees, she raised her hips off of the half-naked woman.

"I've wanted to touch you..." she panted barely controlling the hunger that drove her. Releasing Gabrielle's breast she trailed the fingertips across Gabrielle's spasming abdomen down to rest heavily on Gabrielle's skirt just above the apex of her thighs. "To feel you moving beneath me for so very long."

Gabrielle's hips lurched upward in response to the pressure and the heat emanating from Xena's hand. Leaning in close to Gabrielle's face, her black hair falling to rest lightly on Gabrielle's cheeks, she whispered,

"To taste you," as she once more brushed her lips across Gabrielle's.

Gabrielle hips bucked as a surge of wanton desire immersed her into a pit of seething emotions. Her very blood seemed to boil and the pounding of her heart grew louder with each veracious touch. Her body shuddered violently and her hips seemed to move of their own free will, pleading for Xena to end this exquisite torture.

"Xena!" Gabrielle gasped. "Please...oh goddess...." she begged. Her cries no longer for mercy, but rather now for release as she wrapped her arms around Xena, pulling her down against her, trying to make their bodies one.

Xena restlessly ran her hands over Gabrielle's body, touching every inch of exposed skin, inciting the growing turbulence within both of them.

"Xena...please...."

"Don't worry, Gabrielle." Xena reassured her as she began to kiss her neck, nipping at the swell of bone making up the hollow of her neck. Xena's tongue traced a path of molten fire down between Gabrielle's swelling breasts. Xena brought her hands down to cup Gabrielle's breasts between them, pushing them together, the hardened nipples standing tall upon the mounds of flesh. Xena smiled fiendishly as she looked down, wetting her lips with her tongue, savoring the image.

With an agonized sigh Xena bent down and flicked one of the nipples with the tip of her tongue. Gabrielle sucked in a breath and her back arched up off of the bedroll as she searched for a more lingering touch.

"Ahhhh...Xena." Gabrielle moaned as the breath rushed back out of her lungs.

Xena continued to smile as she occasionally flicked her tongue back and forth between Gabrielle's nipples, delighting in the sounds of passion she was eliciting from the women below her. Gabrielle's hips had begun to thrust up into Xena once more causing Xena to close her eyes shuddering as she imagined what lie between those captivating legs.

Leaning down to whisper in Gabrielle's ear again, the cold hardness of her armor teasing Gabrielle's nipples, Xena let her lips rest softly on her ear.

"Gab...rielle. You know what I'm going to do to you...very, very soon.." she teased as Gabrielle lay rigid, her body frozen as Xena's hot breath sent shivers rampaging across her skin.

"I'm going to see just how much you want me..."

"Xena...I do want..." Gabrielle tried to respond, but Xena captured her earlobe with her teeth and drew it into her mouth, biting softly on the flesh. Gabrielle body shook violently as she grabbed Xena's hips and mindlessly tried to find some way to force Xena to end the constant teasing.

"Oh, I know you do." Xena affirmed, releasing Gabrielle's earlobe, but allowing her lips to linger on the sensitive skin.

"It's just... I want to know what I do to you." Xena smiled wickedly to herself. "I want to feel the wetness between your legs." She cooed into Gabrielle's ear.

Gabrielle groaned and arched even harder into Xena, her hips quaking at the thought of Xena's touch. Gabrielle was nearly out of her mind with desire. She released Xena with one hand and began to move it tentatively down her stomach.

"Ah, ah...." Xena scolded as she released one of Gabrielle's breasts and caught the offensive hand before it could arrive at its destination.

"No fair." Xena's face hardened, a muscle twitching along her jaw, as she tightened her grip on Gabrielle's other breast. Gabrielle yelped in pain as she looked back at Xena's face.

"I told you. I want to know what *I* do to you." Gabrielle whimpered and turned her head to the side as a nasty smile crept back onto Xena's face. Xena lowered her mouth to the breast that she had trapped firmly in her grasp, flicked the nipple with her tongue and then bit down ever so lightly on the nipple, rolling it back and forth, her teeth scraping across it.

"Ahhhhhh..." Gabrielle managed to cry out as her head arched back against the bedroll. "Mmmmm…." Gabrielle shoved her fist into her mouth to stop from screaming out as Xena placed her lips on the skin around the nipple and sucked the soft flesh up into the warmth of her mouth.

Xena released Gabrielle's hand and watched as if mesmerized as her own crept ever so slowly down over Gabrielle's skirt to rest on the bare skin of her thigh. Her fingertips traced lazy circles on the flesh along the inside of her leg as her thumb toyed with the edge of Gabrielle's leather skirt.

"That's right Gabrielle. I know I do something to you, don't I?" Xena asked as her hand finally began to slide up under the skirt.

Gabrielle's body stiffened and she held her breath as she awaited Xena's fingers, willing them to move quickly up her milky white thigh. Xena's fingers continued to etch vague designs on her skin as they crept haltingly over the tensed muscles of Gabrielle's inner thigh. Suddenly the fingers stopped moving and Gabrielle cried out in anguish.

"Gabrielle. Gabrielle..." Xena tortured her with the sweetness in her voice. Gabrielle tried to respond but couldn't speak.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything my love." Xena breathed suggestively, "Just do one thing for me..." Xena glanced back up at the young woman.

Gabrielle nodded her head vigorously her hands clenched at her sides.

"Your legs...Gabrielle...spread your legs for me". Xena moved her other hand down to rest on Gabrielle's skirt. Gabrielle quickly complied as Xena's hand resumed its interrupted journey closer to that hidden source of pleasure that had been calling to her since she had met Gabrielle.

Xena's trembling hand reached for the thin membrane of cloth that separated her from reaching Gabrielle's center of desire. She hooked a finger underneath the smooth edge of the fabric as her body jerked involuntarily.

"Ohhhh...you are soooo wet..." Xena could hardly speak her voice so thick with the desire that coursed through her veins. She was so close, she could smell the heady scent that was Gabrielle, knowing that the juices that flowed from her might finally quench her ravenous thirst. She withdrew her hands as Gabrielle's hands searched frantically for something to grasp a hold of.

Xena grabbed her hands, and shoved them down onto her Gabrielle's stomach. "No. You have to wait." She growled as she slide her body down Gabrielle's taunt stomach to rest heavily on her thighs. She paused just long enough to take a deep breath and gather her fleeting control.

Xena continued to slide her body down until she was in position between Gabrielle's legs. She demandingly forced Gabrielle's legs even wider apart with her knees until her body fit snugly between them. Xena slid her hands up each side of Gabrielle's hips, took hold of the ties that held the skirt in place and pulled until she felt the rip signal their release.

"Oops..." She said coquettishly. She caught the top of the skirt in her hands and began to pull it down over Gabrielle's straining hips. Gabrielle willingly lifted her hips up off of the bedroll.

Once the skirt was discarded Gabrielle's scent enveloped Xena who lay motionless against Gabrielle, completely overwhelmed.

"I...I...arghhhh." Xena groaned as she began to stir, restlessness growing in her motions. Gabrielle raised her hips to meet Xena, just the feel of Xena's body lying between her legs enough to drain the blood from her mind and send it cascading lower. Xena slid her hands back up the sides of Gabrielle's legs, grasped her hips and lowered her face into Gabrielle's downy soft hair.

"Xena...oh my...Xena!" Gabrielle cried out as Xena took Gabrielle's engorged clit into her mouth and sucked greedily on it.

Gabrielle's hips began to buck and her hands beat the ground with each thrust, driving her hips as Xena threatened to devour her. Xena rode out the storm as if she had become a part of Gabrielle's body, even managing to slide one hand down around Gabrielle's leg to find the moist opening to Gabrielle's most secret place.

With as much control as Xena was capable of at that moment she slowly entered Gabrielle. Xena's finger stopped suddenly, its path blocked and a look of disbelief stole over Xena's face.

The realization that Gabrielle was still a virgin threatened to drive her blindly over the edge of her precipice of desire and it took every ounce of her control to hold off the impending eruption.

Gabrielle felt as if a bolt of lightening was wedged between her legs, her muscles tightening around Xena's finger. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind she dimly recalled the fact that she had never told Xena that she hadn't slept with Perdicus, thinking it was a mute point.

She felt the continuing pressure of Xena's finger against her maidenhead and moved her hips suggestively, hoping that Xena wouldn't let it stop her. Xena responded to Gabrielle's movement by applying just a bit more pressure on the barrier until she felt a slight ripping and her finger slide unhindered on up into Gabrielle. The warmth and the contraction of Gabrielle's muscles on her finger broke Xena's resolve.

Xena lifted her hips up and lowered herself to straddle one of Gabrielle's thighs. She began to thrust against it, matching the rhythm with her finger and the sucking of her mouth on Gabrielle's pulsating clit. Gabrielle felt Xena driving against her and raised her leg up, bracing it with her foot so that so that she could apply more pressure against Xena's throbbing sex.

"Xena...ahhh...ohhhh...pleassssse...ohhhhh..." Gabrielle moaned as her hips began to buck convulsively and arched so far into the air that Xena slid her free hand under her back to support her.

"Ohhhhhh GODESSSS!!!!!!...XENA...."Gabrielle screamed as she felt the wave of pleasure raise her up, hold her suspended in time, and then send her crashing back down against Xena. Xena felt the swell of Gabrielle's clit beneath her lips and succumbed to the force of her own release as she gripped Gabrielle's thigh with her powerful legs and rode out the passion of Gabrielle's pleasure. Gabrielle heard her scream echo in her ears as she fell from the heights of her pleasure, oblivious to anything but the pulsing beat between her legs.

Xena lay exhausted between Gabrielle's legs for several minutes, waiting until she was certain she could stand. She gently pulled her finger from Gabrielle as Gabrielle moaned contentedly. She squeezed her legs together reaching for Xena. Xena caught her hand and pushed it away from her as she sat back on her knees.

"Gabrielle." Xena said mournfully, avoiding her gaze. Her voice was thick with remorse. "I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. I've tried so hard. But... just...with seeing Tomi...I couldn't control it any longer...." Xena looked down at her hands.

"Xena, it's all right I..." Gabrielle tried to reach out to Xena again only to have Xena roughly push her hand away. Xena reached over and picked up the blanket next to the bedroll and laid it over Gabrielle's naked body.

"No! I forced myself...on you. I...I...took your virginity." Xena choked out, burying her face in her hands.

Gabrielle leaned up and managed to lay her hand on Xena's shoulder.

"I am so sorry Gabrielle." Xena managed to get out between sobs. She shoved herself off the ground and ran blindly into the darkness of the forest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

Low hanging branches tore at her face and twisted tree roots grabbed at her feet as Xena tried to flee as far away as she could from her uncontrollable passion. Her breath came in painful wheezes as she neared collapse, lungs crying out for oxygen. A sudden rise in the trail caused Xena to stumble forward, her legs nearly exhausted refused to steady her and she fell helplessly down the rugged embankment.

She lay exhausted at the bottom of a ravine tangled in brambles, her skin ripped and torn. Tears flooded from her eyes as she thought back on what she had just done to Gabrielle. She raised her fists to her eyes, thorny vines hanging from her arms.

"Oh Artemis..." She cries out, her voice full of a bottomless pain. "How could I have? Gabrielle...." Xena remained motionless seized by both her tortured thoughts as well as the thorns, her tears mixing with the blood from her wounds.

"I knew...I knew I couldn't change. I fought so hard against so many enemies to keep my emotions under control. All I wanted was control. If I had control no one could ever hurt me again." Xena berated herself.

"And because of that power I wound up hurting so many people that I cared about...Tomi...." Xena took a deep breath, her body shuddering as she expelled. "I thought she was dead. And now...." Xena bitterly laughed out loud.

"I can't control anything. The two women who have meant more to me than life itself and I've hurt them both. I saw it in Tomi's eyes when..." Xena choked audibly. "And Gabrielle, the one person who had managed to keep the pain and grief from overpowering even my most hated enemies, caused me to succumb to the very passion she enabled me to control." Xena dug at her eyes with her fists trying to wipe away the tears.

"Oh Aphrodite...I love her so. And now, I can't even bear to think of the loathing she must feel towards me. Aphrodite, help me..." Xena's voice began to weaken, only to abruptly change and become gravely as she continued.

"Athena! Athena, I know you are watching...hear my voice...I see your handy work here. So justice is finally served, huh? There could be no more fitting punishment than to take what I desire most and in doing so crush any hope of having it given to me. Xena laid her head back and roared with the pain, grief washing away all consciousness.

Meanwhile, back in the clearing Tomi still lies sleeping oblivious to the turmoil her return into Xena's life has caused. Gabrielle remained laying on the bedroll, hugging the blanket up around her staring into the woods where Xena had gone crashing after their lovemaking.

"Oh Xena. What just happened?" Gabrielle whispered quietly to herself with as a bittersweet sadness swept over her. Gabrielle had never seen Xena like she had been when she was talking about Tomi. The craving that seemed to radiate from her body invigorated Gabrielle and pulled her in under the spell until it was too late for her to back away.

Gabrielle knew that she had felt something special for Xena, but the depth of Xena's passion was far greater than even she had ever fathomed. The look on her face and the hunger in her eyes when she turned and looked at her did something to her that she thought could never happen.

And when she had said that she needed her...With a tinge of pain it dawned on Gabrielle that Xena had probably been thinking of Tomi instead of her when she had overwhelmed her last night. Her heart seemed to drop into the pit of her stomach.

"Oh Gods! No wonder Xena was so physical, taking what I would have gladly given her? She was with Tomi...she was remembering how it had been between them...when she was the warrior princess."

"We've been together nearly two years and Xena's never been that way around me. About anything. " Gabrielle curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep.

Several hours pass, as Gabrielle slept fitfully. As the dawn broke with still no sign of Xena, Gabrielle relinquished her struggle to go back to sleep and rose to check on Tomi. Gabrielle moved with a growing numbness evident in her motions. She couldn’t quit thinking of what might happen next between her and Xena...if they even have a future together now that Tomi was back in Xena's life.

Gabrielle looked down on Tomi thinking about what Xena had already told her about the woman. "She really is beautiful." Gabrielle glanced down at her own body and sighed sadly.

Just as she turned her back on Tomi and began to shuffle over to Argo, Tomi began to stir. Gabrielle turned back and knelt down beside the woman.

Glancing around the clearing she wished that Xena had returned, she didn't know what to say to Tomi, but she was going to have to talk with her. She began quietly, so as not to frighten her.

"Tomi. It's okay, you're with friends." Gabrielle winced as she said the word friend, thinking about her and Xena. "You were injured yesterday and you need to rest."

Tomi opened her eyes, squinting, trying to bring Gabrielle into focus.

"Who..." she started dryly, but the words seemed to choke her.

"Oh, here. Wait. Let me get you some water." Gabrielle jumped to her feet and ran to where the supplies were laying. She grabbed the waterskin and hurried back to Tomi.

Tomi gingerly leaned forward, eagerly accepted the pouch and drank voraciously. Nodding her head she handed it back to Gabrielle.

"Thank you." Her voice had grown stronger. She tilted her head slightly. "How do you know my name?"

Then continuing before Gabrielle could even open her mouth. "Ahhh. Xena." She hissed vehemently and tried to push herself up off the bedroll.

"Arghhh..." she exclaimed as a twisting stab of pain shot through her midsection, slamming her back down onto the ground knocking the wind out of her.

"Careful." Gabrielle scolded, reaching toward the woman. "You've been hurt pretty bad. Do you remember what happened?"

Tomi nodded weakly, her eyes closing. "Where is she?" She asked weakly.

"Ohhh...she's ahhh...." Gabrielle cast her eyes down to the ground, a crimson blush creeping over her face. "She had to go out for awhile. She shouldn't be gone long."

"No matter." Tomi responded and carefully rolled over on her side, her back to Gabrielle.

Gabrielle flinched self-consciously. I guess that means she doesn't want to talk anymore Gabrielle thought to herself. Seemed nobody wanted to talk to her. She got up and went back to the fire, deciding that she could at least get breakfast started. She absent-mindedly brushed her thumb against her lips while with her other hand she used a stick to stir the smoldering embers.

======================================================

About an hour later Xena slipped noiselessly back into camp. Without acknowledging Gabrielle she walked quietly over to look down at Tomi.

Gabrielle, noticing the scrapes and cuts on Xena's bare skin starts to say something and then thinking better of it, remains standing alone by the fire. Apparently Tomi had fallen back to sleep and made no notice of Xena's return. Xena stood there for several moments just looking at her and then turned back towards Gabrielle and the fire.

"We need to talk." Xena said, avoiding Gabrielle's eyes.

"Yes we do." Gabrielle confirmed seriously, moving over to a nearby log. "Come sit here beside me."

Xena sat down next to her, careful not to touch her. Gabrielle noticed Xena's unease and felt a part of her cringe at Xena's reluctance.

"Xena...." She began tentatively, only to be cut off by her.

"No Gabrielle. Listen to me." Xena commanded, her voice steeled against any emotions. "I'm sorry. I should never have let you accompany me in the first place. I was fooling myself thinking I could be anything more than what I was before.

"But, you..." Xena held up her hand, silencing Gabrielle's rebuttal.

"I won't ask your forgiveness." Xena confided. "That's impossible for you to give. I can only promise you that I will never touch again. Xena lowered her eyes. "Gabrielle, I know I shouldn't even ask this, but I'm not asking for me. Tomi still needs to be tended to. Could you stay at least until she is able to travel?" Xena hesitated for a moment before she continued, "Please?"

Gabrielle's heart had begun to break with Xena's first word and the tear lay wide open but the end of Xena's soliloquy. Gabrielle knew that she had been right about Xena and Tomi. Xena's inability to meet her eyes confirmed her worst fears. Even behind the growing fear of Tomi's returning influence on Xena, Gabrielle had carefully nurtured a flicker of hope that Xena really did love her.

"Xena...I've been thinking...most of the night...Yes. For Tomi, I'll stay." Gabrielle responded without feeling.

Xena felt as if she had just stepped off the side of a towering cliff as the air seemed to rush from her lungs. "Gods. What have I done? She's never been so emotionless. So cold." Xena berated herself.

The two women sat silently beside each other, both terrified to say anything more. Several moments pass before Gabrielle, sensing that she is not going to get anything more from Xena decides to at least make things seem more normal.

"I have breakfast ready, would you like something to eat?" she queried as she rose and started bustling around the fire.

"Yeah, that would be great." Xena responded, thankful for anything that would break the suffocating silence.

Gabrielle walked over to Tomi. Leaning forward she placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Tomi. Are you awake? Would you like something to eat?"

Tomi rolled carefully onto her back. "Yes, thank you. I think I would like..." She began to respond until she noticed Xena sitting next to the fire.

"On second thought...I just lost my appetite." Tomi nearly spat the words at Xena, her eyes filling with disgust as they bore through her.

Stunned, Gabrielle turned toward Xena unsure as to what her response would be. Surprisingly Xena just sat there looking at Tomi, a frigid sheen to icy-blue eyes.

"Don't worry, Gabrielle. I'm not hungry." Xena grimly stood up and walked towards Argo. "I'm going to scout the area. I'll be back later."

"I've heard that before." Tomi said bitterly, rolling back onto her side, a soft groan escaped from her lips as her body stiffened at the sharp pain shooting through her back.

Xena stopped in midstride as if she'd been hit. She stood immobile, her body shaking with anger. Gabrielle stepped back away from Tomi. She had seen Xena angry, but this was something altogether different and quite frightening.

Xena slowly turned around to face Tomi's prone figure. Her eyes hard and as dark as obsidian, eyebrows furrowed across them. Her jaw was set tight and the muscles clenched as if in rage. She took a step towards Tomi, arms held motionless at her side, fists held close against her. With what seemed like a great effort she managed to stop and with a very quiet voice said, "Argo needs some exercise."

Angrily raising her arm and pointing her finger towards Tomi. "Make sure *she* is still here when I get back." Her words obviously directed towards Gabrielle but her eyes still locked onto Tomi.

Gabrielle nodded cautiously, afraid even to move.

Xena turned back towards Argo and angrily stomped the short distance over to her. Argo snorted and pawed the earth, uneasy with the tension pulsating through her master. Xena reached for Argo's saddle and swung herself effortlessly into the saddle. Grabbing the rein she urged Argo to full gallop even before they had left the clearing.

At the sound of receding hoofbeats, Tomi's body relaxed and she rolled back over to face Gabrielle, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I really do love her." She sobbed, covering her face with her hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Five

Xena rode back into camp several hours later. Her black hair hung limply around her shoulders and her bronze skin glistened with sweat. Argo, head down, cantered into camp, her chest and flanks coated with a foamy white lather. Ignoring the two women, Xena dismounted and solemnly began to tend to Argo.

Gabrielle, unsure of how to approach her, decided on preparing food, knowing that she hadn't eaten all day. Having spent as much time seeing to Argo's needs as she could, Xena finally walked apprehensively towards the fire. Gabrielle, forcing a cheerful smile to her face, handed her the metal plate.

"Thought you might be a little hungry."

"Yeah, I am a little. Thanks." Xena sat down wearily on the log and began to push the food around on the plate. Gabrielle unobtrusively stood nearby, the smile replaced by a scowl as she studiously watched the warrior princess. "This isn't going to be easy...." She muttered under her breath.

Several days passed as each woman maintained her distance from the others. Tomi rapidly gained strength and Gabrielle, sensing Xena's reluctance, had taken over caring for Tomi's wounds. Even though this was a limited encounter between the two women, Gabrielle began to feel an attachment beginning. She could see why Xena had been so taken with Tomi.

It was still hard on Gabrielle, who was trying to sort through everything that had happened since Tomi came back into Xena's life. The lack of any long-term interaction gave her plenty of time to sit and reflect on her feelings. Each evening Gabrielle would huddle up next to the fire, scribbling fervently on her scrolls, searching for the elusive answers to her questions.

Xena spent the first two days after the confrontation out of camp tracking down the man who had stabbed Tomi. Gabrielle had been concerned when Xena hadn't returned the first evening, but since Tomi wasn't in any shape to be moved, she had remained in camp hoping against hope that Xena would return.

Upon Xena's return she immediately informed Gabrielle that she did not wish to talk about anything. Each morning Xena was quick to rise and after eating a meager breakfast, spent most of the day away from camp hunting, practicing her swordplay, exercising Argo or scouting the area.

As each day passed Xena became more disconsolate, a dour cloud of frustration seemed to hang over her. Tomi would sit at the edge of the clearing staring mournfully into the trees, lost in a world of her own thoughts.

Xena and Tomi had not said another word to each other and Gabrielle had tried her hardest to bring them both into her persistent monologues. Neither woman would even look, let alone speak, to each other. Gabrielle would just shake her head and continue to talk out loud, hoping that sooner or later something would have to give.

After about a week Tomi had regained much of her strength and was able to walk down to the stream by herself to bathe. It was during one of these times that Gabrielle got up the nerve to try to get the rest of Tomi's story from Xena.

"Xena. Ah.... I know this is really difficult for you...but, what happened between you two?" Gabrielle queried cautiously.

When Xena did not respond she took a step closer and continued to push for some response. "You said you thought she was dead?"

"Gabrielle, I don't think we should go there again..." Xena replied without looking up from her work.

"But Xena," Gabrielle's hope soared as sensed a small opening. "You know a bard can't stand not knowing the end of a story...."

Xena warily laid down the scabbard she had been repairing and began pacing angrily back and forth in front of the fire. She had never talked to anyone about what had actually happened and was appalled at how Gabrielle might react.

"What does that matter now? You've already ruined anything there might have been between the two of you...." She harshly reminded herself.

She had always known that her feelings for Tomi were strong, but she never imagined that just talking about her could release those pent-up desires. However, now that she realized what it could do to her, she had hardened her defenses and felt confident that she would never allow it to happen again.

Xena knew she shouldn't talk about it again with Gabrielle, but her emotions were in turmoil and she needed to figure out what was going on. She was sure to lose both of them if she didn't work through it and maybe Gabrielle could help her. And, considering what she had done to Gabrielle, she at least deserved to know the whole truth.

"When I decide to stop that's it. Don't push it any further..." Xena demanded.

"That's no problem, Xena. I wouldn't want it any other way." Gabrielle responded trying to make Xena feel better instead your words only wounded the warrior.

"All right then. Gabrielle, you sit on the other side of the fire and remember, don't ask me any questions." Xena sat down, picked her scabbard back up and began to caress the soft leather.

 

 

"Tomi had been in my camp for about six months when she asked if she could go back to see her family. I traveled with her to Pompeii to ensure her safety. People had begun to talk about our relationship and you know well how far my enemies will go to hurt me or someone I care about."

Gabrielle nodded her agreement, vivid images of the numerous times that her own life had been in danger raced through her mind.

"We had only been in Pompeii for about a week when a messenger from my camp arrived. Apparently Darphus had taken the opportunity of my departure to start stirring up dissension within the camp and was trying to take over my army. I had to return immediately to take care of him, but I told Tomi that she should stay there, to ensure she was safe from Darphus and also to give her more time with her family." Xena arched her back, running a hand up through her hair. Relaxing, she dropped her elbows to rest on her thighs and sighed deeply.

"Gabrielle, I also set her free. I wanted her to know that when I returned for her she would no longer be a slave and I wanted to know that when she returned with me it was of her own free will."

"You released her?" Gabrielle asked incredulously. She knew that as a warlord Xena had never given up anything with a price.

Xena turned her head slightly so that she could look at Gabrielle and glared at her.

"Oops...sorry." Gabrielle ducked her head and shoved her hands between her knees.

Xena could feel a familiar stirring deep within her loins. She turned back to the fire as a frown settled across her face.

"When I got back to my army Darphus had been warned that I was headed back and had left with several men. I took care of a few problems remaining within the ranks and then set out after Darphus. I should never have let him live before and I was determined to correct my error as soon as possible. It was nearly two weeks later that I heard about the eruption. I couldn't believe that anything could have happened to her, yet I immediately left for Pompeii. As I got closer to the village the fear inside me began to grow...all around me the countryside was scorched and people were talking about the complete destruction of Pompeii."

"When I arrived at Sephilus, there were no building left and only a few stragglers milling around the area. They told me that no one in Pompeii had survived. The city had been buried under a river of molten lava, burning everyone alive. The only inhabitants that were still alive had been gone from the village when the eruption occurred."

"I went crazy with disbelief...storming into a rage. I ventured as near the remains of the city as possible, but the heat forbade anyone from entering into the hardening lava flow. Gabrielle, I had never seen devastation so complete. There was no town, no vegetation, no life. It was like Tartarus on earth. I couldn't believe that I had left her to die in what had become a forsaken wasteland."

"The idea of losing her was driving me insane until I convinced myself that she must have been out of town for the day. She was a novice healer and in my grief I decided that she had left the village to help someone or to get some special herbs from another village. I knew she had to be alive so I began searching for her everywhere. I must have spent three or four months hunting from town to town, but I only found a couple of survivors and none had seen her or anyone in her family."

"Finally, I realized that she was gone. It was as if I had died...it was like losing Lyceus all over again, only this time the pain was unbearable. I didn't care about anything. I knew I had let them both down, but with Tomi there wasn't even anyone to go after, no one to blame but myself." Xena stopped talking, lowering her head into hands. The grief was threatening to overwhelm her and the insensate desire was taking it's toll on her inner strength.

Gabrielle sat quietly, wanting to say something, but trying to abide by Xena's wishes.

"I can do this...it's almost over." Xena assured herself as she clenched the scabbard tightly in her hands.

"That was when I decided to kill Hercules...I couldn't think of anyone else who knew could beat me in battle. I wouldn't be able to be with Tomi, since she was in the Elysian Fields, but at least I wouldn't have to live with the misery." Xena glanced over at Gabrielle and saw her look of disbelief.

"I know...it doesn't seem like I was trying to get myself killed did it?" Xena chuckled agreeably.

Gabrielle smiled sheepishly and shook her head.

"Well, you know I never take the easy way out of anything so....I had to make sure Hercules believed I wanted to kill him, but he knew why I wanted to face him in battle. Damn him anyway, even when I tried to turn his best friend against him he wouldn't be swayed, he knew the pain in my heart and wouldn't help me commit suicide. He reminded me that Tomi had reawakened the goodness in my soul and that in respect to her memory I needed to embrace it."

"I realized that he was right and that I could do something for Tomi by trying to make up for some of the terrible things I had been a part of. I wasn't really certain what it was I was going to do until I met you Gabrielle, and, well, you know the rest of story." Xena finished and sat quietly, resting her chin on the top of her scabbard, staring into the fire.

"Xena, why didn't you ever tell me about this?" Gabrielle asked quietly. She knew that Xena hadn't told her everything about her warrior days, but thought that something as important as the catalyst that started Xena on her way back from darkness would have been important.

"Well, part of the reason should be obvious." She said bitterly as she lifted her head up and turned steely blue eyes towards Gabrielle. "I thought she was dead. I hadn't been there to protect her. What difference could it have made to tell you about her?"

"But you never even mentioned that you were in love with another woman."

"I never mentioned anyone I cared about until I had to." Xena's responded with a hardness in her voice.

Gabrielle sat back solemnly, and looked at Xena, realizing just difficult it was for Xena to speak of love and loved ones. There had been so much pain and suffering in her young lifetime.

Xena looked away from Gabrielle, unable to meet her eyes. She was still fighting to control the desire that was once more threatening to consume her.

Gabrielle, wanting nothing more than to rush to Xena, pull her into her arms and comfort her, could no longer sit still. She stood up and inched closer to the fire. Leaning over she picked up a couple of small limbs and threw them on the fire. As the flames erupted she stumbled backwards, falling back down onto the log.

"Damn what is wrong with me?" Xena thought angrily. Every movement Gabrielle made seemed to feed the craving that sought to devour her soul. Losing yet another battle, she rose determinedly, once more overwhelmed with passion, her eyes never leaving Gabrielle.

Gabrielle sensed that Xena was looking at her and pendulously raised her own eyes to meet Xena's across the fire. She swallowed hard as she saw the look on Xena's face, knowing that Xena had lost control once more.

This time though, she knew what to expect. Unable and unwilling to break the eye contact she stood and walked around the fire towards Xena.

"Xena..." Gabrielle breathed salaciously as she stepped into Xena's waiting arms.

"How touching." Tomi said sarcastically. Startled, Xena and Gabrielle both jumped involuntarily, not realizing that she had returned from her bath. "No wonder you didn't come back for me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Six

"How dare you! You have no idea..." Xena retorted, anger flashing in her eyes as she thoughtlessly pushed Gabrielle to the side and turned to face Tomi.

"Gabrielle, I'll be leaving this afternoon." Tomi ignored Xena, looking towards the smaller woman. "I'm well enough to travel." Turning back to Xena, her words sharp as daggers, "Seems to me like I'm only in the way here."

"Just like that, huh? I shouldn't have expected anything different from you." Her words dripped with venom. "You know, I've had a lot of time to think since we found you. Something isn't right about all of this. You're suppose to be dead."

Tomi looked deeply into Xena's eyes, her face registering no emotion.

"Well, now, isn't that ironic? You’re right though, something isn’t right. But, I bet you're feeling pretty proud of yourself. Saving the damsel in distress." Tomi glared at Xena as an evil grin broke through her stoic demeanor.

"Oh, I guess I should be thankful though that I just happened to be getting attacked at the right place and at the right time. I should thank you for coming to my rescue," Tomi hesitated for just a second, watching Xena's reaction, "this time."

Xena's eyes narrowed. The muscle beginning to twitch under her left eye as the anger stoked the fires burning inside.

"That's it. I've had enough of this!" Xena stormed at her, her emotions raging. "How did you survive the eruption? I was there, no one in that city lived." Xena menacingly took a step towards Tomi as a look of utter contempt played across her face.

Gabrielle for once remained quiet, realizing that something quite volatile and dangerous was taking place between the two women. She had often watched Xena battle warlords and villains, but never had she witnessed a confrontation so emotional and virulent. Xena didn't seem to be able to control her words or her actions, although impossible, the woman she faced seemed to be the one in power.

Gabrielle felt the presence of an ominous reality clutch at her insides as she once more found herself an outsider watching the events unfold around her...no say in their outcome, but her future in question.

"What, did you play me for a fool? Get me to give you your freedom so you could take off with the first worthless son-of-a-bitch you met." She looked accusingly at Tomi.

"What's the matter. Didn't I have the right "equipment" for you?" Xena and Tomi were standing virtually toe to toe, both of them consumed with bitterness.

 

"You self-righteous bitch!" Tomi hurled at Xena as she lunged at her.

Gabrielle's eye grew wide as she began to back away from the two women began to grapple. Gabrielle couldn't believe what she was seeing. She had never heard anyone, let alone a woman say such a thing to Xena. Gabrielle was fearful of what Xena might do to Tomi, she had never heard anyone say that to Xena and not come within an inch of their death.

Tomi was no match for Xena and with a quick twist of her hips Xena launched the defeated woman over her head. Tomi barely had time to prepare herself before she landed heavily with a groan. Gabrielle ran to her concerned that the fall had reopened her wounds.

"She's fine." Xena assured Gabrielle as she whirled around to face them. Tomi gathered herself and brushed Gabrielle's hands from her torso.

"I can take care of myself." Tomi's dark eyes locked with Xena's.

Gabrielle stood up and starting walking backwards, afraid of what might happen next. She didn't stop until she felt Argo's warm breath graze the back of her neck.

Xena said nothing at first, struggling to reign in her rampaging emotions. She couldn't believe what had happened to her in the past week. To see the woman who had shown her that she could love and be loved alive once more should have been like dying and going to the Elysian Fields. Instead, it was as if Hades had sent Tomi back to show her a glimpse of what awaited her in Tartarus.

"Get up." Xena demanded through clenched teeth. Tomi defiantly remained on the ground watching Xena's attempt to gain control. "You're right...it *is* time for you to leave." Xena lowered her voice to a throaty growl. Xena stared hard at Tomi before turning her back on the angry woman.

With a snarl Tomi jumped to her feet as Xena spun back around to face her.

"Did you even bother to check to find out what really happened to me? You, the high and mighty warrior. So caught up in your little war games." Tomi whole body was shaking with the anger that had built up over the two long years.

"I spent nearly six months buried alive! Entombed in solid rock!" She screamed at her, her face contorted with rage.

"After what we had shared...I believed in you...the only thing that kept me going was my love for you and the faith that you would come for me...that my brave warrior princess would save me." Tomi struck out at Xena with something much deadlier than any physical blow.

A hint of doubt began to cloud Xena's eyes and her face flinched in recoil as if Tomi had struck her across the face, each word a reeling blow.

"Ha! *I* was the fool!" Tomi continued to drive each word into Xena's heart.

"I..I..didn't know...they told me that everyone had died....they told me you were dead." Xena countered. A single tear trickled down her cheek.

As the impact of Tomi's words struck Xena her knees began to buckle. She tried to regain her balance, but with her mind still reeling from the possibility that she had indeed left Tomi to such a fate, her strength faded and she sank heavily to the ground.

Gabrielle stood motionless next to Argo, unable to move. She knew she should leave Xena and Tomi to continue this conversation in private, but she was too intrigued to turn and walk away.

Untouched by Xena's show of remorse and with shoulders heaving with intensity, Tomi continued her verbal assault on Xena.

"For your information, I *was* in the city when the volcano erupted. I only survived because I was in the wine cellar under the manor where my parents were working. I heard a loud rumble and felt the earth shake as urns of wine began to fall and shatter all around me. I didn't know what was happening. I tried to reach the stairs, but they crumbled as the walls began to split. I was afraid the manor itself was going to come crashing down on top of me." Tomi paused for a moment looking down on the hunched over form of Xena and then towards Gabrielle, who was caught up in the suspenseful tale.

"As the cracks grew, I could see that there was a passageway just beyond the wall and I squeezed through. Without realizing where I was I fled into the catacombs beneath the city. I'm not even sure if the lord of the manor knew his cellar was next to the catacombs, but luckily for me they were. I finally realized what had happened, as the heat became unbearable and molten hot lava began to flow through several of the tunnels. I had been running blindly through the catacombs, the eternal torches giving off just enough light to give an eerie glow to the walls. The Gods must have guided me because I found a passageway that led deeper into the earth where the air was not so stifling and I could breath easier." Tomi paused again, the story taking its toll on her as well.

"I became completely lost. I had never been in the catacombs before, only hearing about them in whispered ghost stories told late at night. I thought that I would go crazy with fear. I huddled against a wall and screamed until, mercifully, I fainted. When I woke up, the earth had stopped rumbling and the silence was deafening. I began to explore the various tunnels, leaving marks on the walls with the charcoal from the torches so that I could try to keep track of where I had been. Thankfully, I managed to find several stashes of food and water that people had hidden in the catacombs that sustained me while I waited for someone to rescue me."

Tomi moved closer to Xena, reaching around behind her head she grabbed a handful of hair and yanked her head back.

"Look at me!" Tomi demanded...."No one else made it into the catacombs. I was all alone down there. Waiting...waiting for you to come for me."

"But...I did go back for you." Xena closed her eyes as her shoulders slumped forward, heaving with each gut-wrenching sob.

"Not when you said you would!" Tomi shrieked at her as she released Xena's hair and stepped back from her. "We would have been far, far away when it happened if you had come back when you said you were going to."

Tomi raised her fist as if to strike Xena, but instead just stood over her, quaking with emotion. "I really believed that you would come for me. I knew you would leave me there like that. I knew someone would miss me and figure out where I was." Tomi slowly lowered her arm and gazed out into space.

"But no one came...no one. I had no ideal that the whole town was gone and everyone that might have known where I was. The only thing that saved my sanity was thinking of you. You know, I was really lucky in one sense...someone had stored baskets of old scrolls down in one of the tunnels and I spent hours upon hours writing about us...about everything I could think of." Tomi glanced over at Gabrielle who had a startled look on her face.

Tomi turned back to Xena with a sarcastic smirk on her face. "Yeah, I noticed your little "friend" also likes to write...what a coincidence."

Gabrielle winced as Tomi pushed every painful button she could find to torture Xena.

"I spent most of my time searching through the endless tunnels, trying to find a way out. After what seemed like forever, but had actually only been a couple of months, I finally gave up hope. I realized that you weren't coming back for me. That you had left me there to die." Tomi began to smile slightly at the impact her words had on Xena.

Xena was virtually helpless. She could do nothing but shudder violently and rock methodically back and forth on her knees. Gabrielle was horrified. Xena had fought the most powerful warlords and had even stood fearlessly against the God of War, and yet a mere mortal woman was destroying her with hatred born from the madness of lost love.

"Yes Xena, I knew that I had already been laid to rest." Tomi laughed wickedly. "I actually began to welcome death." Tomi swallowed hard as a shadow seemed to slip across her eyes.

"If I couldn't be with you then..." Suddenly, Tomi raised her fingers to her lips and gently traced the outline of her lips. Her eyes glazed over and the anger seemed to seep from her body.

"I left everything behind me, food, water, even the scrolls and I just began to walk. I was going to walk until I couldn't go any further and then I was just going to lay down and welcome Hades touch. I walked and walked and finally came to a new hub of tunnels. Without any thought I chose one and continued my pilgrimage. It wasn't but a few moments later that I felt the caress of a light breeze across my skin. I thought at first that I was hallucinating...it had been so long since I had felt anything so wondrous. But, it was real; I had found a way out. The tunnel led to a small cave opening a few miles south of Sephilus. I wandered around blindly for awhile, the sunlight was much too bright for my eyes, until a passing traveler led me to Akilios."

A sad smile settled on Tomi's lips as she lowered her hand to the hem of her skirt. Thoughtlessly she rubbed the material back and forth between her fingertips. "It didn't take long for me to find out that my family had perished and the other survivors had long since left the area. I had lost everyone - including Xena."

"The shock of what had happened to me finally overwhelmed me and I spent several more weeks in the healer's care, completely incapacitated. When I recovered, I didn't care about anything...or anyone." She stood looking passively down at Xena who continued to rock back and forth, her hands covering her face.

"I never wanted to see you again."

After a few moments of silence, Xena tentatively reached a hand up to her, wrapping it around her leg and pulled Tomi toward her, her voice racked with pain.

"I wanted to die...I couldn't think of living without you." Xena took a deep breath and fought for the will to continue. "So...so I decided to go after Hercules. I knew I couldn't defeat him...that he would believe in my wickedness and end my suffering for me." Tomi made no sign of acknowledging Xena's confession.

"But even he could see the sorrow I carried and he showed me that I would be dishonoring your memory if I gave up. I could keep you alive in my heart...by continuing to seek the goodness that you had resurrected in my soul." Xena's strength once more deserted her as she released Tomi's leg, sinking back down to the ground.

"Tomi...I never stopped loving you." Xena gasped defenselessly.

Gabrielle desolately turned her head into Argo's neck, the tears streaming down her face. Her heart ached even more with every thundering beat her heart as she helplessly stood by as the woman she knew as Xena began to crumble.

"Oh Aphrodite...please...." She whispered into Argo's neck.

"I promise...please Tomi...I never gave my heart to anyone else." Xena surrendered to the sorrow and turmoil swirling in her soul. Tomi incredulously looked past Xena's prone body towards where Gabrielle was leaning against Argo.

"Gabrielle."

Gabrielle hesitantly turned around to face Tomi, her arm sliding up to cradle Argo's neck.

"Is it true?" She pointedly asked of Gabrielle. "I think I know enough of Xena to know that she can only truly love another woman. I also believe that you have a pure heart. Has she been with another woman? Has she been with you?"

"Ahhhhh..." Gabrielle's voice caught in her throat, but she stubbornly retained eye contact with Tomi. Her heart continued to break as she thought of what her response would be. She honestly believed that Xena had been thinking of Tomi when she had overpowered her earlier and with Xena's response to Tomi she also knew without a doubt that Xena had never loved her the way she did Tomi. Gabrielle looked down on Xena, lying helpless at Tomi's feet, awaiting Gabrielle's fatal confirmation of her betrayal.

"No." Gabrielle responded. Her voice remained amazingly steady. She raised her chin noticeably, knowing that for Xena's sake she had to make Tomi believe her.

"No. I have traveled with Xena since her encounter with Hercules. She has had no other woman and we are nothing more than friends. Traveling companions." Gabrielle's words cut through her - heart and soul. She knew that Xena might never recover if Tomi didn't believe her and forgive the guilt-ridden woman who lay curled up in a ball at her feet. The golden, soft glow in Gabrielle's soul began to dim as Tomi's face began to soften.

"She has never given her heart to anyone but you." Gabrielle lowered her eyes and began to move toward Xena, unable to stand by any longer as her friend continued to succumb under the punishing burden of guilt.

"No!" Tomi commanded and Gabrielle stopped in mid-stride. All three women remained motionless, as if suspended in time. Xena continued to weep quietly as Gabrielle stood mournfully looking over at her. Tomi remained standing over Xena, a myriad of emotions surging through her. And just as suddenly as it began, it was over.

"Xena," Tomi whispered tenderly as she bent down to her.

"Xena," She said again as she affectionately touched Xena on her trembling shoulder. Xena made no move acknowledge the touch. Tomi slide down onto her knees in front of Xena and reached out her hand to cup Xena's chin and tilt her fact so that they were eye to eye. Xena's eyes were closed, but she could feel Tomi lean closer.

"Xena, my love. Forgive me. In my madness I thought you had abandoned me." Tomi breathed in her ear. With the gentlest of motion she laid her warm cheek against Xena's damp cheek.

"I am so sorry...I should never have doubted you."

Xena's shaking arms raised up around Tomi to embrace her and draw her closer. The two women remained in each other's arms until Tomi leaned her head back and pulled slightly away from Xena.

"Xena...look at me."

Xena took a deep breath and courageously looked up to meet Tomi eye to eye.

"Xena...I love you."

"Tomi" Xena cried as she lowered her head and fell into Tomi's arms. Her shoulder shook as another barrage of sobs wracked her weary body.

"Shhh. Lover...shhh...It's all right now. It's going to be fine...We're together again."

Gabrielle's breath caught in her throat and her heart seemed to quit beating as she witnessed two lovers finding each other once more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Seven

Gabrielle quietly slipped away from camp unable to watch any longer.

She walked aimlessly through the woods. The melodic sounds and the splash of vibrant colors in which she had always found such beauty could not even shake her from her melancholy. Gabrielle felt such a lost - she had finally managed to reach a part of Xena that had been shrouded in pain and remorse and then to have it and Xena taken from her so abruptly had almost broken her spirit.

"What am I going to do now? Xena is so different when she's with Tomi."

Gabrielle stumbled as the forest opened up on the banks of a slowly meandering river. Gabrielle sighed deeply and sat down, leaning back against a gnarled tree stump.

"Oh Aphrodite, why couldn't she have felt that way about me? Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I know that Tomi isn't a bad person, but I wish we had never ran across her."

Gabrielle picked up a clump of dirt that had been lying near her hand and heaved it angrily into the water. Lowering her head and rubbing her right hand up against her forehead she chided herself silently.

"What am I doing? I can't think like that, it's so selfish. Xena is in love with Tomi and I really want her to be the happiest she can be...." Gabrielle's lips began to quiver. "I just wanted it to be with me."

Gabrielle pulled her knees up to her chest and lowered her head to rest on them. Emptiness, as mind numbing as death, filled her soul. She feared that she might never be able to feel joy again. Gabrielle knew she needed someone to talk...but who...Xena had always been there for her, but she obviously couldn't speak to her about it. There was absolutely no possibility of going home and even though she knew Homer would lend a compassionate ear, there just wasn't any way for him to really understand. There was only one answer...the Amazons. After what had happened, perhaps they could help her.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up and out over the water flowing peacefully in front of her. Absentmindedly she reached down and picked up a rock. She flicked it out over the water, skipping it across the reflective surface. She watched emotionlessly as it finally sank below the surface.

Time passed quickly and as the day begat dusk Gabrielle pushed up off the ground and brushed the dirt from her skirt. She didn't want to go back. She didn't want to have to face the happiness that Xena had finally found in Tomi, but she had to face the reality that Xena no longer belonged to her.

"Hrmphhh. She never did belong to me." Gabrielle lamented.

She turned and began walking back through the forest scuffling her feet, kicking at tree roots, and stopping occasionally to pick at the bark of an innocent tree. Regardless of her attempts to stall the inevitable, she was soon back at camp.

"There you are. I was hoping you'd come back soon." Tomi looked up at her and smiled. Tomi had taken a real liking to Gabrielle. She admired the strength, honesty, and unpretentious beauty that made Gabrielle who she was.

"Xena has gone to exercise Argo and scout around a bit. Honestly though, I think she just wanted a few minutes to compose herself. She's grown so much in the time I've been away...You know..." Tomi gets a reflective look on her face. "I never saw her cry before." Tomi shrugged her shoulders slightly and went back to rummaging through her traveling bag.

Gabrielle, with a sad smile on her face looks down to the ground. "Ah, yeah. Xena has really turned her life around...she's still pretty guarded about her feelings, but, she tries hard." Gabrielle added.

Tomi looked up at Gabrielle and stopped searching through her bag. Sensing Gabrielle's uneasiness she crossed over to Gabrielle and placed a hand on Gabrielle's arm as she tried to comfort the young bard.

"Gabrielle, I want to thank you. "I know that the last two years have been hard on both of us, Xena can be a real problem, and I am thankful that she had you as a good friend." Tomi paused for a moment waiting for some kind of reaction to her words.

"You realize that you are still more than welcome to travel with us. I will never forget your help and the important part you played in bringing Xena back to me." Gabrielle shuffled her feet as she fought to keep the tears back.

"Gabrielle, I was so hurt at the thought that Xena had left me behind. But you convinced me that she had been true to me, well, at least my memory. If you hadn't spoken up I honestly would have left and never seen her again."

Gabrielle swallowed hard and cleared her throat, praying to Artemis to give her the strength to get through this. "Oh, ahhhh...I'm glad I could help. Xena deserves to be happy...and in love."

Unable to continue the dialogue, Gabrielle mumbled something about needing to get a scroll from her saddlebag and hurried over to her bedroll that lay near the edge of the forest.

"Ayiyiyiyiyi!" Echoed through the small clearing as Argo came pounding into the campsite, her nostrils flaring with excitement.

Gabrielle swung around, her heart lifting at the sound of Xena's voice.

With unbelievable ease Argo slammed her hooves into the ground and pulled up short of the fire as Xena flew over her head. Executing a precise aerial flip, Xena cleared Argo and the fire, coming to light gracefully in front of Tomi. Xena, face flushed with passion, scooped Tomi up in her arms, and swung her around. Tomi giggled gleefully.

"Things are going to be so different know." Xena said softly as she gazed into Tomi's eyes.

"Yes love, they already are..." Tomi agreed as she leans up and kisses Xena fervently.

Gabrielle had remained standing near the tree line, tendrils of pain winding around her battered heart as she watched the tender passion Xena showered on Tomi. Her shoulders slumped ever so slightly as she turned back to her bag.

Pulling back some from Xena, Tomi laid a finger lightly on Xena's lips.

"Xena, be good...." She admonished.

"I'm always good...." Xena teased as she nipped playfully at Tomi's ear.

"I know dear, but Gabrielle's finally made it back from her walk...and I don't think...." Tomi left the rest of the sentence unspoken as Xena glanced around for Gabrielle and then back to Tomi. Without saying anything, Xena released Tomi and stepped back self-consciously.

Tomi smiled. "I need to go find some roots and berries for dinner before it gets too dark. I'll be back in just a little bit."

Xena, with a look of resignation in her eyes, took her hand and kissed it.

"Don't be gone long." Tomi picked up a pan and quickly left the camp as Xena turned to stare at Gabrielle's back.

"Gabrielle." Gabrielle didn't move.

"Please Gabrielle...." Xena pleaded as she moved towards her.

"Xena. I'm glad you're so happy." Gabrielle declared quietly without turning around, a tear streaking down her face.

"Gabrielle. I...It's not only Tomi that makes me happy." Xena responded as she stopped and reached a hand out towards Gabrielle. Suddenly aware of what she was doing, Xena quickly dropped her hand back to her side.

Gabrielle wiped at her face and slowly turned around to face Xena.

Xena averted her eyes down to the ground, still unable to meet Gabrielle eye to eye. "Gabrielle, I've done some terrible things to you, that I'll never be able to erase." Xena held up her hand to silence Gabrielle's beginning protest.

"You've made me very happy as well. I want to thank you. I wish there was something special I could do for you to show you what you have meant to me. I will always be indebted to you." Xena stepped back away from Gabrielle as she felt a stirring deep in the pit of her stomach.

Gabrielle's small body began to shake as she mentally compared Xena's distancing herself just then to how she reacted to Tomi.

Gabrielle's heart seemed to be closing in on itself, each beat harder and harder against the walls of her chest. She could hardly breath as she thought of telling Xena how she felt...needing to tell her how much she loves her, but knowing that she never will. Even though she had sworn to herself that she wouldn't look at Xena, Gabrielle turned to look up at Xena.

Xena, feeling Gabrielle's eyes on her, reluctantly looked up to meet them. Both women stood silently looking at each other. Gabrielle's tear-filled eyes glided over Xena's body. She could feel the desire for Xena gradate through her body, remembered the intense pleasure of Xena's fingertips sliding along her skin, the brush of her lips on hers. Gabrielle sucked in her breath and closed her eyes as the churning emotions claimed her soul.

Xena's resolve faltered and she took a step towards Gabrielle, concern etched on her face. But, once more she pulled up short as her own thoughts raced through her mind.

"By the Gods she is so beautiful..." Xena's heart began to pound as she gazed upon the little bard that has grown to be such an important part of her life. "She has grown up to be such a desirous woman..." Xena's body stiffened with the realization that Gabrielle was no longer that young, naive girl that she had met in Potedia. Gabrielle had become a woman - a very desirable woman.

"I never realized...." Xena shook her head slightly.

"Realized what, Xena?" Gabrielle’s opened her eyes as her heart skipped a beat.

But Xena didn’t hear Gabrielle’s question, so lost in her own thoughts.

"Why didn't I see it? If only I had acknowledged it, perhaps I wouldn't have taken her." Xena thought remorsefully. "It has to be because of Tomi coming back into my life. That must be it. None of this would have happened before Tomi came back into my life. I had promised myself that I would never allow myself to feel that way for a woman again. But, now that Tomi is back, I just don't have any control over my emotions."

"By the Gods…" Xena ran a hand through her hair. This was way too tough - on all of them.

"What, Xena? What?" Gabrielle closed her eyes, willing Xena to say what she longed to hear.

Tomi came dancing into camp, her arms full of berries and roots.

"This forest is a virtual marketplace." Xena you couldn't have picked a better spot."

Gabrielle's eyes flew open as she turned quickly back to her saddlebags. Xena, running a hand over her face, turned and began to move towards the smiling woman.

"I'm glad it meets your approval." She took Tomi's face in her hands and smothered her with kisses.

"Well..." Tomi dropped her load of food at her feet and slipped her arms around Xena's waist, pulling her closer.

"Guess I need to leave more often..."

======================================================

When dinner was served a little while later no one seemed to have much of an appetite. Xena and Tomi were lost in their thoughts about each other and Gabrielle couldn't even think of eating. After dinner, Tomi walked down to the river to clean up. Xena had wanted to accompany her, but Tomi reassured her she would be right back with a whispered promise of making it up to her Gabrielle quickly excused herself, blaming fatigue, to lie down early. Xena, disappointed that she couldn't be alone with Tomi, decided the best way to spend the time Tomi was gone was to sit by the fire and sharpen her sword.

Working at a task that demanded little of her attention, Xena’s thoughts drifted to wondering what the next few days would bring.

Xena glanced up, her gaze resting on the form of Gabrielle laying on her bedroll, her eyes closed, her breathing soft and regular. Xena couldn't believe that Gabrielle would be leaving her soon, although she could believe that it was her own fault. She had always known that when the time came for Gabrielle to leave her, as everyone else had, she would shoulder the guilt. She knew that Gabrielle could never stay with her after what had happened.

Xena's heart seemed to skip a beat as a sudden heaviness settled over it. Her hand stopped its steady movement along the blade of her sword, a cascade of passion flowed over her body as she remembered her stolen moments with Gabrielle. Xena swallowed hard and fought to bring her mind back from the images of Gabrielle naked in her arms.

"Damn..." Xena chided herself as she resumed moving the whetstone methodically down the razor-like edge of her sword. "I’ve got to quit thinking of her like that. I...I just don't know what to do...what to say to her...I guess she'll want to go to the Academy. Maybe to the Amazons." Xena lowered her head as the consequences of her actions bore down on her.

"I don't want to lose you Gabrielle..." Xena quietly whispered as her hand slipped and her palm slid across the side of the blade.

"Uhh." Xena gasped.

"Xena? Xena...what's wrong?" Gabrielle, who had only been pretending to be asleep, jumped up from her bedroll and rushed to Xena's side.

Xena, biting her lower lip, was hunched over holding her hand, blood dripping on to the ground in front of her.

"Ahhh...it's nothing Gabrielle...I just slipped." Xena assured her through clenched teeth as she started to rise.

"No Xena...I'll get it. Wait here." Gabrielle hurried over to the saddlebag to get the medicinal supplies. In an instant she returned to Xena's side and helped her clean the wound.

"Xena, I don't think I can stitch it closed..." Gabrielle confessed as she wrapped a temporary bandage around it to staunch the flow of blood.

"It's okay Gabrielle...Tomi can do it." Xena replied and without thinking rested her other hand on Gabrielle's forearm. Gabrielle flinched as Xena quickly pulled her hand back, thinking that it was her touch that offended Gabrielle. However, it was Xena’s comment about Tomi that had caused her to recoil.

"I'm sorry again Gabrielle..." Xena turned away from Gabrielle, holding her injured hand in her lap. Xena realized that it was as good a time as any for them to talk about the inevitable.

"Gabrielle, have you decided what you want to do, where you want to go? I..ahh.. I really appreciate it that you stayed until Tomi regained her strength." Xena waited uneasily for Gabrielle's response.

"I...I don't know Xena." Xena, unnoticed by Gabrielle, released her breath as Gabrielle cast her eyes down to the ground.

Gabrielle thought about telling Xena that Tomi had said that she could stay with them, but obviously Xena had no intentions of that happening.

"I know it's kind of scary to think of leaving on your own, but don't worry

Gabrielle, I wouldn't let you travel by yourself." Xena hurried to explain. "Not that I don't think you could take care of yourself. It's just that, Tomi and I will accompany you to Athens or even back to Ephany and the Amazons, if that's what you want. The choice is yours."

Xena hadn’t even broached the idea of Gabrielle staying with her. Knowing that after Gabrielle's reaction to her touch, that she wouldn't even consider staying with them.

Gabrielle sat silently, gathering her strength. She had been dreading this confrontation for days. She couldn't tell Xena why she was going to the Amazons, and she knew Xena would be curious, so Gabrielle decided to use the same excuse she had thought of for staying with Xena.

"Well, I still need more stories to write about before I try the academy again, so I think I want to go to the Amazons."

Xena's eyebrow arched up with surprise. "Whatever you desire."

"Uhmm...whatever you desire..." Gabrielle thought sadly to herself...."If she only knew...."

"Gabrielle...I think my hand will be okay until Tomi gets back...." Xena went on, giving Gabrielle the chance to go and lay back down.

"Oh…okay...sure...I really am pretty tired." Gabrielle stumbled over her words as she stood up and turned to walk away.

Xena brought both of her hands up to cup her face as she watched Gabrielle walk away from her and lay down. She closed her eyes and struggled to smother the fire that raged her body.

It was only a few minutes before Tomi came back into camp. Seeing the bandage on Xena's hand she rushed over to her. It was long before Tomi had sutured the wound and replaced the bandage.

Tomi and Xena continued to sit side by side near the fire exchanging quiet words, light kisses, and passionate caresses. Gabrielle laid on her bedroll with her back to them, trying desperately to fall to sleep. The knowledge that the woman she loved was so near by and engaged in romantic foreplay with another woman was slowly driving her crazy.

After what seemed like hours of excruciating torture, Gabrielle sensed Xena walking towards her. Gabrielle, feigning sleep, listened to the quiet footsteps draw near. Xena stood over her prone body. She hesitated, looking down on the sleeping figure of Gabrielle.

"It's been so long since I haven't slept by her...." Xena thought sadly to herself, a twinge of desire stirring inside.

Below her, it took every ounce of control for Gabrielle to remain motionless and to hold back the tears that were threatening to become a constant companion.

"If she stands there much longer I'm going to lose it." She thought fearfully to herself.

Xena bent over and reached down beside Gabrielle. A part of her wanted nothing more than to brush the back of her hand against the silkiness of Gabrielle's hair. Instead she quickly gathered her bedding and moved silently back across the campsite to spread her bedroll next to Tomi's.

Gabrielle curled up. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she allowed the persistent tears to flow freely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Eight

Gabrielle silently thanked Apollo for the end of a unsettling night as the sun shone brightly over head. Gabrielle had slept intermittently through the night, tormented by lingering nightmares. She had risen with the first light of dawn, but Xena had still beaten her awake.

Gabrielle, steadfastly sticking to her decision, carefully gathered her bedding together. After making sure she had everything ready, she squared her shoulders, took a deep breath and walked over to where Xena was busy brushing Argo.

"Xena, ahhh...can we leave today...I...I'm kind of anxious to get going."

The muscle along Xena's jaw twitched as she continued to sweep her hand along Argo's neck. Without stopping or looking back at Gabrielle she answered Gabrielle's request.

"Sure Gabrielle...I figured you'd be ready soon...We'll leave early this afternoon."

"Great...I'll get breakfast together then." Gabrielle started to turn away.

"Gabrielle, you don't have to do that."

"Xena...it's okay...for old times sake..."

"Well, okay then...Let me finish here and I'll wake Tomi and we'll go get cleaned up. Thanks."

======================================================

Xena and Tomi walked hand in hand along the path leading down to the river.

"Tomi, if you feel up to it, we're going to move out a little later. Gabrielle has decided that she wants to live with the Amazons."

"Oh, okay, I'm fine...Hmmm. Oh well. I told her that she was welcomed to stay and travel with us. Guess she doesn't want to."

Xena stopped walking, pulling Tomi back to her. "You did? What did she say?"

"Well, now that I think about it, she didn't really say anything, just walked over to her bag and started rummaging around in it." Tomi slid her other hand up the smooth skin of Xena's neck and began to run her fingers through Xena's hair.

Xena felt her heart tighten up at the thought of Gabrielle actually refusing to stay with her. "Oh. Well, I guess she knows what she wants."

Xena grabbed Tomi's hand from her hair and brought it around to her lips. She gently kissed the back of Tomi's hand, looking over it into Tomi's soft brown eyes. Xena let Tomi's hand slip from her grasp as they began to walk once more.

"I guess she's made her decision." Xena said more to herself than to Tomi.

"You know love, I can't imagine you traveling with Gabrielle for so long and not finding yourself attracted to her. I remember the stories about you and the other young women slaves that you had in the camp. She really is a beautiful young woman." Tomi glanced over at Xena to see her reaction.

"That she is." Xena's eyes narrowed slightly as she readily agreed.

"When I first met Gabrielle she was so young and naive and it was so soon after you that I couldn't let anyone in." Xena bit the inside of her cheek as she thought of Gabrielle.

"She also looks up to me as some kind of hero and it would have just been strange to even think about that with her." Xena tightened her grip on Tomi's hand. "As she got older, I still didn't even think about it. She had a few romantic interests and she even left me to marry her childhood sweetheart. She would still be with me had it not been for his untimely death."

"Oh Xena, look. We're finally here." Tomi's voice rose with excitement as she dragged Xena to the bank of the river.

For once, Xena still wanted to talk. "Tomi, it nearly drove me insane to think you were gone, that I would never hold you in my arms again and feel you respond to my touch." Xena reached out her hand to trace the outline of Tomi's lips with her fingertips.

"I was ready to die when I lost you." Xena dropped her hand down to Tomi's arm. "The memory of your love became my strength."

Tomi let go of Xena's other hand and slid her arm around Xena's waist.

"Xena..." Tomi pulled Xena closer to her.

"Yeah." Xena's voice wavered as she nuzzled her face into Tomi's hair.

"Gabrielle isn't here now..." She smiled seductively and lowered her hand to the bottom hem of Xena's shift and began to push it up Xena's thigh.

"Uhmmm...you're right about that." Xena sighed as she slid both of her hands up Tomi's back. She could feel her blood begin to quicken as she thought of Tomi's body moving against her.

"Oh Xena...it's been so long.." Tomi released Xena's shift and slid her hand under the material, sliding it up across the warm, soft flesh. Xena pulled Tomi hard against her, needing to feel the firmness of her lover's body against her.

"Tomi....'" Xena rasped as she felt the desire begin to overwhelm her.

Tomi's body began to shudder as Xena held her tight. "I want to feel you...all of you..." Leaning back from Tomi, she made her demand.

"Take it off...."

Tomi's breath caught in her throat and she lowered her eyes as she pulled her hand back from under Xena's shift and began to undo the top button. As she released each button, Xena's eyes followed her progress, taking in the soft curves of Tomi's body and the growing amount of flesh becoming visible to her.

When the final button was unhooked, Tomi shrugged her shoulders and allowed the shift to slip over her hips and down to the ground. Xena's nostrils flared as, for the first time in years, she saw the beauty of

Tomi's naked body waiting for her touch. Xena opened her arms and reached out for her. Tomi stepped forward and nestled her body up against Xena.

"You're even more beautiful than I remembered...." Xena breathed huskily into her ear.

"Xena...ohhhh...please..." Tomi begged as she slid her hands down the curve of Xena's hips.

Xena reached around behind her to take Tomi's hands in hers and brought them back in front of her. "Don't you think we'd be more comfortable if we were laying down?" Xena murmured as she suggestively slipped her thigh between Tomi's legs.

Tomi's knees seemed to buckle as stepped back and shakily knelt down to rest on the soft grass. She reached a hand up to Xena as she laid back. Xena looked up over Tomi's head back along the trail they had taken from the camp, reassuring herself that they were alone.

With a soft groan, Xena took a step forward, positioning herself between

Tomi's legs and fell to her knees. Tomi's hands slide up to linger for just

a moment on the heated skin of Xena's thighs. When she could wait no longer, she continued to slide them up under Xena's shift as Xena's hips began to roll slightly, anticipating Tomi's touch.

"I never dreamt that I'd get to make love to you again..." Xena reached down and grabbing the hem of her own shift and lifted it quickly up and over her body. "Oh Tomi…I’ve missed you so...." Xena moaned as she moved her body up and over Tomi.

Tomi's hands were everywhere, exploring every inch of Xena's skin. Their soft touch drove Xena's passion into a frenzy. She bent over Tomi and brought her lips down forcefully onto Tomi's. Tomi returned the kiss with equal fervor as their bodies began to move against each other. Xena's tongue sought out the warmth of Tomi's mouth, exploring every recess, drinking in Tomi's essence.

Xena could feel the quakes that passed through Tomi's body as she pulled her lips back from Tomi's. With practiced ease, she moved her body down so that she could trail kisses down Tomi's slender neck and sculpted shoulders.

"Ahhh...Xena..." Tomi hissed as her body arched up off the grass.

Xena smiled wickedly to herself and with the tip of her tongue left a flaming path of moisture down the valley between Tomi's heaving breasts. Tomi tried to sneak one of her hands up the inside of Xena's thigh to find the dampness she knew awaited her.

"Ahh..ahh...not yet lover...." Xena scolded and moved her hand away from between her legs and placed it on her left breast. Tomi quickly got Xena's message and began to squeeze Xena's breast roughly.

"Easy..Tomi...easy." Xena panted. Xena decided the best way to keep Tomi off track was to get her attention. Moving her head slightly she flicked her tongue out and over one of Tomi's nipples.

"Yesss...." Tomi yelped as she caught her breath, her chest rising viisibly. She had brought her other hand up and was busy kneading both of Xena's breasts as Xena flicked her tongue teasingly back and forth between Tomi's nipples. As Tomi began to squirm beneath her, Xena brought her hands up to cup Tomi's breasts and extend the nipples even higher.

"Tomiiii...." She teased as she moved her thumb and index finger up to gently pinch the nipple between them.

With a guttural sound from deep in her chest Xena slid her lips down over the nipple and onto the surround flesh. Squeezing the flesh with her hand she began to suck the flesh up into her mouth.

"Xena...ohhh Gods... Pleasssee..." Tomi's body literally shook with the passion that surged through her body.

As Xena let Tomi's breast slip back out of her mouth Tomi raised her head up towards Xena's chest, her eyes begging Xena to help her. Xena accommodated by leaning down towards her until Tomi could take one of her nipples in her mouth, rolling it between her teeth.

"Argghhh...."Xena gasped as the electric shock thundered through her body, settling between her legs. She threw her head back and closed her eyes as the shock waves washed over her entire body, pulsating from her center of desire.

Tomi moaned deeply as she raked tongue back and forth across the rough top of the nipple.

"Tomi...Oh my gods...." Xena cried out as her eyes flew open, her body arching towards Tomi.

=====================================================

Breakfast had been ready for some time and Gabrielle had begun to wonder what was taking Xena and Tomi so long.

"Oh well. I guess I can at least go wash up and that out of the way as

well."

Knowing that Tomi would probably want her privacy, the gods knew she had seen Xena naked enough times that it wouldn't matter, she decided that she should take a different path to the river. However, the path wound around until it came out on the river just a few yards up from the original trail. It didn't take long for Gabrielle to hear the two women's passionate sounds.

Gabrielle blushed deeply as she realized what they were doing. She had tried not to think of Xena with Tomi. Even though she knew she should leave, curiosity got the better of her.

"Tomi...I need you. Now." Xena breathed heavily as she released one breast and slid her fingertips slowly across Tomi's abdomen.

"Yes Xena...oh, yes..." Tomi raised her hips towards Xena trying to encourage her fingertips to venture even further down her body.

"Do you want something my love?" Xena bent her face close to Tomi's.

"Ahhhhh..." Was the only sound that Tomi could force from her lips as Xena's fingers slipped into the dark curls that hid Tomi's sex.

"Tomi...." Xena hesitated briefly as she felt a momentary uneasiness sweep over her. Tomi reached down and took both of Xena's hands in hers and pushed them down between her legs.

"Xena...take me...." Tomi invited as she spread her legs wider and pushed her mound up against Xena's hands. Tomi released Xena's hands and moved her hands back up to her own breasts and began to massage the nipples as her eyes locked with Xena's.

Shaking her head, Xena brushed aside the strange feeling and slid one finger into Tomi as she screamed out.

"Oh Xena...ohhhhhh…"

Xena plunged the finger in and out slowly, watching the emotions flow over Tomi's face. With the slightest of motion she moved another finger into position and gently slid them both into Tomi's moist opening.

"Unngh...."Tomi moaned as her hips began to buck against Xena's hand. Xena moved her thumb up to find the swollen nub of Tomi's clit and began to rub insistently against it.

"Ohhhhh..ahhh..."Tomi groaned as she arched up off the ground. Xena slid her free arm and hand around to support Tomi's body against her. Xena felt the shudder go through Tomi as she stiffened against her. With a slight smirk on her face, Xena continued to plunge her fingers into Tomi as she felt the muscles clench down around them.

"Xena...Yesssssss!" Tomi growled as her hips bucked uncontrollably, the wave sweeping over her.

Tomi collapsed against Xena, her body completely spent. Xena smiled to herself as she felt Tomi's body go limp against her.

"I guess some things never change." Xena kissed her forehead and tenderly laid her back down on the ground.

Xena stood up and taking her shift with her. She stepped over to the river and submerged the shift in the cool water. Wringing the excess water from it, she moved back over next to Tomi and began to gently wipe Tomi's forehead. With a wry grin on her face she continued to minister to Tomi while she awaited her return. It was only a few moments before Xena felt Tomi moan softly and start to stir.

"Mmmmm...mmm....Xena?" Tomi whispered hoarsely.

With a slight chuckle Xena responded, "Yes, love … I'm right here...you still forget to breathe don't you..." Xena teased, a loving smile on her face. Tomi's strength was returning quickly, now that she was conscious once more.

"Ohh..that was soooo good...I've missed you." Tomi smiled up at Xena with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You know though, you really have changed."

"What do you mean?" Xena questioned her suspiciously.

"Oh Xena, it's all right, really." Tomi giggled, as Xena became defensive.

"You were always so aggressive in our lovemaking, taking possession of me with an almost animalistic passion. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed our lovemaking, but you have to admit, it wasn't the same as the last time. Or don't you remember?" Tomi teased.

Xena actually felt a blush begin in rise in her cheeks as she started to remember. Almost instantly a frown also crossed her face as she realized that when she had forced Gabrielle to be with her that it was very much like that last time with Tomi.

"I...I..ahhh...." Xena stammered.

Tomi tenderly laid her finger across Xena's lips to silence her attempt.

"Shhh…. Lover...just kiss me." Tomi whispered as she rolled on her side and slid her hand up between Xena's thighs.

"Ahhhh...Tomi...ohhhhh." Xena moaned as Tomi slid her fingers into Xena.

Gabrielle sat quietly through Xena and Tomi's lovemaking. She had never seen anyone else make love and the sight and sounds of it had been overwhelming. The worst part of it for her was the fact that Xena had been so different with Tomi.

"What Xena and I had was nothing like that..." Gabrielle thought sadly to herself as she stood up and backed away from the riverbank. "She was only using me...." A sob escaped her lips as she turned and ran blindly back along the path to the camp.

"Tomi...did you hear something?" Xena's motions froze as she listened intently for some misplaced sound.

"No, lover...it's just your imagination..." Tomi slid up and over Xena's body and lowered her lips to Xena's. Xena closed her eyes and succumbed to Tomi's desire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Nine

As the shadows inched smaller and smaller, Xena and Tomi finally made their way back to camp. A smile tugged at the corner of Xena's lips as she thought about how the short trip to bathe and prepare for the upcoming trip had taken them much longer than she had expected. Tomi was rather insatiable. Of course, it had been quite some time since the two of them.

"Tomi." Xena whispered fiercely as she stopped suddenly.

Startled, Tomi jerked to a stop, instinctively pulling the towel up in front of her chest.

"Something's not right in camp. Stay here." Xena's senses had never let her down, so she knew that something was wrong. She slipped into the woods beside the path and warily approached the clearing.

Keeping her presence masked with silence, she hid just beyond the perimeter of the camp, but could still see nothing that appeared out of place. The food that Gabrielle had prepared was sitting on a flat rock beside the fire and all of the gear seemed to be where she had left it.

Gabrielle was no where to be seen, but since there was no sign of a struggle, she assumed that Gabrielle must have gone on down to the river to get ready to leave. With senses as finely attuned as her master, Argo reared her head and whinnied impatiently. Xena turned to look at Argo, her brow creased with hard-set lines of concern as she tried to concentrate on her surroundings.

As a twig snapped behind her Xena arched her eyebrow and just slightly cocked her head.

"I thought I told you to stay back on the trail."

"But, I was scared...I wanted to be with you." Tomi replied softly.

Tomi had quietly come up behind Xena and was peering over her shoulder into the quiet clearing in front of them.

"Everything looks okay to me."

"Well, looks can be deceiving. Something isn't right, but I can't seem to figure it out."

"Oh. Well, should we go on in? I'm actually getting kind of hungry."

Xena glanced back at Tomi who sheepishly smiled. Xena lowered her eyes and shook her head back and forth. "Why is it the women in my life can never get enough to eat?" She thought to herself.

Still scanning the area, Xena cautiously stepped out into the open, waiting for an attack that never came. Tomi scooted around Xena and hurried over to the fire and picked up the food.

"Oh, it's cold already...I'll have to heat it up."

Xena whipped her head around to face Tomi. "Already cold?" As icy fingers of fear wrapped around her heart Xena whirled towards where Gabrielle had slept last night. The fingers squeezed her heart so tightly that she thought she might die instantly as she realized that Gabrielle's gear was gone. Nothing remained of her vivacious young friend except for one rolled- up scroll lying next to a thin silver chain.

"Gabrielle!" Xena exclaimed as she rushed over to pick up the scroll.

"What, Xena? What's wrong?" Tomi jumped nearly dropped the food into the fire.

"Tomi...Gabrielle's gone...." Xena mumbled in disbelief as her numb fingers fumbled to unroll the scroll.

Xena,

I've gone on to Themiscrya. I'll be fine there. I'm sorry for

leaving like this, but I don't want to be a bother to you. You've

taught me so much and I can make the trip safely by myself.

Xena, thank you for everything and please, please take care of

yourself. Keep this chain to remember me by. I purchased it in

Kyops to give to you on your birthday. Never forget me.

Xena, I'm glad you've found love again.

Your friend forever,

Gabrielle

Xena stood stoically looking down at the scroll. "She can't be gone...it wasn't suppose to happen like this...Noooo...." The words echoed through her head as she closed her eyes and tried to regain control of the emotions that were churning through heart and soul.

"Xena, what does it say?" Tomi asked innocently as she turned back to pick up the pot that Gabrielle had prepared breakfast in and gave the ingredients once last stir.

"Gab...." Xena's voice stuck in her throat and she stood silently for a moment before trying to continue.

"Gabrielle has left to go to the Amazons...she went on ahead because she didn't want to be a bother." Xena continued to hold the scroll, her fingers rubbing reminiscently over the parchment. She couldn't set it down, it was the last link she had to Gabrielle, but she couldn't bear to look at the familiar handwriting. She reached down finally and picked up the finely crafted chain. The sunlight glinted off the beveled edges and she thought of how excited Gabrielle must have been when she found it in the market.

"Oh, she really is thoughtful...but it wouldn't have been any bother for us to go along with her." Tomi said as she placed the food over the fire.

"Xena, she made some porridge and there's even some nutbread laying here. It won't take too long to heat the porridge back up." Tomi turned back to Xena who remained standing in the same place staring out into space. Tomi moved up behind Xena and slid her arms around Xena's waist.

"I know you have to be hungry after such a workout." She breathed seductively into Xena's ear.

"Ah...Tomi...I...." Xena couldn't even force herself to respond as vivid images of Gabrielle flashed through her mind. She couldn't believe that it had finally happened, that Gabrielle had really left her. "Gabrielle...oh, Gabrielle...you can't be gone." Xena's mind screamed as the grief blanketed all her other emotions.

"Tomi, please. I have to make sure Argo's okay. You go ahead and get something to eat." Xena responded quietly as she slipped from Tomi's arms. Tomi grabbed Xena by the shoulder and determinedly forced her to turn around. She leaned up on her toes and lightly kissed Xena on the lips.

"Honey, I know you'll miss Gabrielle, but she's made her choice. I'm sure she'll be fine."

 

"Tomi. I've been thinking about it, and it's never safe for a woman to travel by herself. You know that as well as I do. I think we should follow behind Gabrielle and make sure nothing happens to her." Xena stepped over near Tomi who was sitting near the fire eating.

Xena had spent quite some time brushing Argo and adjusting her saddle. She had struggled to find some way to handle Gabrielle's leaving, but nothing seemed to settle the uneasiness that had settled into her soul. She had to know that Gabrielle made it to Themiscrya without harm. She also knew that she had to see her again...everything they had shared couldn't end like this.

"That's fine with me Xena. Wow, you should really try this nutbread, it's really good." Tomi gushed as she popped another bite into her mouth. Xena's stomach threatened mutiny at the thought of food.

"Maybe in a minute, I want to get things around so we can move out pretty soon." Xena swiftly moved away from Tomi, still fighting to control her queasy stomach.

It only took her a few minutes to finish preparing the gear to move out and for Tomi to finish eating. After ensuring that the fire had been put out and the smoldering embers flooded with water, Xena jumped up onto Argo and headed out of the clearing.

"Hey! What about me?" Tomi hollered after her.

"What?" Xena pulled Argo up as she twisted in the saddle to look back on Tomi.

"You think I'm going to walk all the way to the Amazon lands?" Tomi looked quizzically up at Xena.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm just not thinking clearly right now." Xena wiped her hand across her dry lips. All she could think about was getting to Gabrielle.

Tomi walked up next to Argo and with Xena's help, climbed up behind the warrior princess.

"Ah, this is much better...I much prefer riding to walking...." Tomi squealed gleefully as she snuggled up against Xena's back.

Xena stiffened slightly as she felt Tomi press against her and images of Gabrielle swam in front of her eyes.

 

Gabrielle hadn't stopped for anything. In her haste to get away from Xena and Tomi she hadn't even picked up any food to carry with her, but it scarcely mattered to her since eating had lost its overwhelming appeal. Now there was only one thing that mattered to her; getting to the Amazons. She needed to be somewhere that felt like home. Xena didn't need her any longer and she certainly couldn't go back to the mundane life of a farmer's wife in Potedia. She didn't know if things would be better once she had resumed her duties with the Amazons, but at least she would have a home, women who needed her.

Hour after hour she placed one foot in front of the other, each step taking her further away from the woman she loved - the woman who would never love her the way she would have wanted her to because of Tomi. She wasn’t sure she would make it without Xena in her life. Finally, exhaustion pulled the young bard down as tears began to flow across her tear streaked face. "Oh Xena. Aphrodite, please. Please make it stop hurting so bad." She wept until darkness peacefully descended over her huddled form.

Xena wanted to push the pace, to catch up with Gabrielle, but she didn't know what she was going to say to her, so she remained content to follow a short distance behind her. Gabrielle was not moving very fast, so it was a task to maintain the distance behind her. Xena had explained to Tomi that Gabrielle was quite adamant about her ability to take care of herself and if she knew they were following her it would hurt her feelings.

Tomi actually seemed to be taking it all in stride, chattering occasionally about what they would do next, or if Xena thought a particular town was a good place to live, or about how many children she wanted. Xena's only thoughts were of Gabrielle and of how empty her life was going to be without her.

At the break of dawn, as the sun's rays began to light the eastern sky, Gabrielle woke with a hardness that strengthened her conviction and with a fierce determination she began moving once more.

Xena frowned as they passed the spot where Gabrielle had spent the night. She was concerned that the Bard had not eaten anything and hadn't even bothered to spread out her bedroll. Xena knew that Gabrielle was having more difficulty with the separation than what she had even dared hoped for. Maybe - just maybe there was still some hope. Xena chided herself for even thinking that things would work out. "You've made sure there can't be a future. Let her go."

The three women continued their trek, Gabrielle, undaunted, continued to maintain a steady pace, not even wanting to stop long enough to sleep. Xena and Tomi courteously maintained their distance. With each passing day Xena became increasingly alarmed at Gabrielle's behavior. Xena wanted to maintain their proximity to Gabrielle, but Tomi would never understand if Xena refused to stop at nightfall. Xena reassured herself with the knowledge that it only took a couple of hours of riding a little harder in the morning, to close back in on Gabrielle, but she knew Gabrielle couldn't keep going like she was.

By the morning of the fourth day Gabrielle had deplete what strength she had and her mind, hammered by grief and lack of sleep, began to play tricks on her as images began to take physical form. As she walked she could see Xena in the distance, beckoning her on, but never letting her catch up to her. Tomi would lean in close to her and whisper in her ear that Xena belonged with her and that Gabrielle was going to have to find someone else to tag along with. Perdicus would appear in front of her, reaching out a trembling hand, crimson blood dripping from his wound and ask why she didn't love him anymore.

Gabrielle stumbled and staggered forward, her staff was the only thing that kept her from sprawling on to the ground. "What's wrong with me?" Gabrielle thought to herself, but she couldn't concentrate enough to form a clear answer. She wiped a sunbaked hand across her eyes and pushing with her staff, continued to trudge down the road that she knew would lead her to her destiny.

As she passed under a low-lying branch, a distant birdcall caught her attention.

"Ah...there they are, I knew I'd find them." She thought to herself. Relief sapping what little energy remained in her tired legs.

She stumbled over to the trunk of the tree and leaning against it puckered her lips to return the call. She took in a deep breath and pushed it out of her mouth, but she could hear no sound.

"Huh, that's funny." She thought as the world began to spin around her, the ground trading places with the sky.

=====================================================

Xena and Tomi rode up to the edge of the Amazon territory and stopped. By all outwards appearances Xena appeared her calm and regal self, but inside, Xena was nearly crazy with worry. She had quickened the pace that morning determined that if she could catch up with Gabrielle she would. Xena had noticed that Gabrielle's stride had become increasingly erratic. She was in trouble and needed help immediately. Xena was angry with herself for not having gone to Gabrielle earlier, but she still didn't know what to say or do and she didn't know if Gabrielle would want to see her again.

"She stopped here." Xena jumped down off of Argo and looked around at the ground near the base of the tree.

"Thank Artemis. They found her and they've taken her to Themiscrya." Xena breathed out a sigh of relief at the thought that Gabrielle was finally being helped.

"That's great, honey. I knew you were getting more and more concerned about her. I can't believe she walked all this way." Tomi added as she lowered herself gingerly from Argo's back.

Not far away, the Amazon guards watched with growing curiosity as Xena looked around, hesitant about entering the Amazon land. They were also suspicious about the relationship between her and the strange woman, especially since they had been informed of their Queen's condition when she was found and taken to the village. They had been sent to scout the area for Xena and bring her back with them. However, they didn't expect to find her with another woman and no worse the wear. Ephany would find it all very interesting as they had only moments earlier.

Seemingly out of nowhere, hooded figures began to drop from the trees surrounding Xena and Tomi.

Tomi stifled a cry as Xena threw her arms up over her head in the Amazon sign for peace.

"Tomi." Xena said softly under her breath. "Do what I'm doing. NOW!" Xena reinforced her insistence with a menacing growl.

Tomi swallowed hard and tentatively raised her arms over her head.

"I thought they were your friends." Tomi whispered.

"Well. They were..." Xena replied hesitantly.

The warriors motioned silently to Xena to move forward. Xena took in a deep breath and expelled it harshly. Apparently they would be traveling on to Themiscrya. Whether she really wanted to or not, she would have one last chance to see Gabrielle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Ten

Gabrielle woke to a throbbing headache and a feeling of vertigo. She tried to move, but didn't have the strength.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Ephany scolded her as she laid a caring hand on her queen's bare shoulder.

"Oh, Ephany..." Gabrielle sobbed as she remembered where she was headed and what had driven her to seek out the Amazons.

"Hey, hey there." Ephany tried to soothe Gabrielle distress, but Gabrielle was almost beyond reach.

"Melanippe. The queen is awake now. Bring cool water and the broth so that she may nourish herself." Ephany called to the guard standing just outside Gabrielle's tent. Gabrielle reached up for Ephany and pulled her down against her. Ephany resisted the instinctive recoil and allowed Gabrielle to hold her as if her very life depended on it.

"Ssshhh. Gabrielle. Ssshhh. It's all right." Ephany wished that she could have provided more comfort to Gabrielle, but her words was she had to give.

"I've sent warriors out, we'll find Xena, she'll be okay."

Gabrielle moaned mournfully as she tried to shove Ephany away with her.

"No, Ephany, No! Call them back!" Gabrielle pleaded with Ephany as she rolled away from her.

Ephany stood up and stepped back away from Gabrielle, a puzzled look on her face. Gabrielle and Xena had been inseparable since they had met, both willing to give their life for the other. Something had happened and Ephany knew she wasn't going to like it one bit.

Gabrielle, it's too late to call them back, I've already had word that they have found Xena and that she is accompanying them to the village." Ephany moved around the bed to see Gabrielle's reaction.

"Oh nooo. No. I can't see her again. You don't understand." Gabrielle grabbed the pillow in both hands and pulled it down onto her face.

At that instant the guard knocked on the door to announce that the food and water had arrived. Ephany went to the door and blocking any view of Gabrielle from the guard she took the items from her.

"Gabrielle. Look at me." Ephany ordered in her most demanding voice. She was alarmed at Gabrielle's physical condition and it didn't seem that she was much better off emotionally. What she wanted was answers and it seemed that Xena was going to play an important part in those answers.

Gabrielle lowered the pillow and still sniffling rolled over on the bed until, puffy-eyed, she faced Ephany.

"You are going to eat all of this broth." Ephany began to walk across the room towards Gabrielle. Gabrielle began to protest until she saw the look in Ephany’s eyes.

"You'd actually force me to eat if I don't do it on my own, wouldn't you?" Gabrielle narrowed her eyes and stared at Ephany.

"Yes, my queen, I would." Ephany responded without hesitation.

"Just what I thought. All right. I'll try, but I'm not promising anything." Gabrielle moved to sit up, but the motion made her dizzy and she began to slip over the edge of the bed.

Ephany had just set the broth and the water on the table and managed to slide her arms under Gabrielle just before she hit the floor.

"We've got to stop meeting like this. Women will talk." Ephany joked.

Gabrielle smiled slightly as Ephany helped her back onto the bed, propping up her with pillows behind her back.

"Well," Ephany smiled, "At least that's a start."

"Ephany, you said that the warriors had already found Xena...How did they find her so quickly..." Gabrielle glanced around as if in a panic. "How long was I asleep? Wait, now that I think of it, I don't even remember getting here." Gabrielle's hand stopped in mid-air, the spoon shaking slightly.

"Relax, you passed out and the guards found you. Apparently, Xena was close to you or they wouldn't have found her so quickly. You've only been out for about four hours." Ephany watched Gabrielle carefully as she spoke, hoping for some sign as to what was going on between Gabrielle and Xena.

"Oh...." Gabrielle said quietly as she moved the spoon up to her mouth.

"Gosh." Gabrielle exclaimed. "This is good. Really good." Gabrielle lifted another spoonful of broth to her mouth. "I didn't realize how hungry I was."

Ephany smiled as a bit of her concern began to wan. "At least you're eating. You look like you haven't eaten much lately."

Gabrielle shrugged. "Guess I haven't thought about it much."

"Gabrielle, we need to talk. Xena will be here in about an hour." Ephany hated to bring up the impending confrontation, but she needed to know how to proceed.

Gabrielle stopped eating for a moment, staring into the broth. She didn't want to have to face Xena, especially since she knew Tomi would be with her, but she was home now and as queen of the Amazons it was her duty. She was feeling a little bit stronger, but she wasn't even certain she would be able to stand. However, she would make a valiant effort nonetheless to talk with Xena one last time.

"Ephany, I might need your help, but I will receive Xena when she arrives."

 

The word had spread quickly that Gabrielle had returned to Themiscrya and that she was not in very good shape when she arrived. The fact that Xena was not with her was whispered about as numerous rumors sprang up as to the reason. Needless to say many of the women had found some reason to be standing near the Queen's tent since they had also heard that Xena was on her way into the village accompanied by another woman.

Ephany had been precise in her estimation of when Xena and the warriors would arrive. As Xena moved into the village she felt the uneasiness and the growing resentment that had begun to settle in to the minds of Gabrielle's nation of women. Xena's senses tingled with the agitation that was coursing through the village and was relieved to see Ephany standing at the far edge of the village center. Her heart began to beat erratically when she saw Gabrielle seated next to her.

Xena nearly broke into a run, wanting to rush to Gabrielle to make sure she was all right. Even from so far away she could see that Gabrielle appeared weak and her skin seemed pale and washed-out. Instead, she grabbed Tomi's hand and squeezed hard.

"What is it?" Tomi asked her quietly as they continued to walk towards where Gabrielle was seated.

"Nothing. Just wanted to reassure you that everything will be all right."

Gabrielle had changed, with Ephany’s help, into her Amazon clothes and had donned the mask of the queen. Gabrielle had thought the mask a blessing, something that she could hide behind it, but Xena could still see her eyes and the anguish churning in their depths.

The guards stopped Xena and Tomi a few paces from where Gabrielle was seated. Ephany stared hard at Xena and with a slight nod of her head, instructed her to kneel.

Xena reached out and touched Tomi on the forearm and knelt down to the ground. Tomi, quickly realizing that she was expected to follow Xena's lead, assumed the same position.

"You have business in Amazon land, Warrior?" Ephany inquired coolly.

Xena turned her head slightly so that she could look directly at Ephany. She noticed with just the slightest hint of jealousy that Ephany was standing protectively close to Gabrielle. Ephany’s stance suggested a barely constrained hostility towards Xena, which caused her to practice some restraint in her choice of information. A public forum was not the place where they should be talking about what had happened between Gabrielle and herself.

Xena defiantly met Ephany eye to eye as she carefully constructed her response. "I, er we, were only concerned with the safety of your queen. We followed a short distance behind her to ensure her safe passage back to your land."

"Very well. And who is this stranger? Why have you brought her with you?" Ephany’s eyes raked over Tomi's bend body. Her lips pursing in disgust as she thought of the emotional pain that Gabrielle. Intuitively she wondered if the woman was at the root of Gabrielle's trouble.

"Her name is Tomyris of Pompeii. She survived the eruption that destroyed her city."

A gasp rose up from the group of women onlookers. Everyone had heard of the total destruction of the unfortunately city and those who had survived were considered cursed by the gods.

"It is a long story," Xena continued. "But she was in the catacombs beneath the city and managed to find a way out." Taking a deep breath and turning her head to look at Tomi she decided to be honest with Ephany. "She is also my lover."

A hush descended over the crowd as it surged forward, each woman straining to get a better look at the woman who Xena had taken as her own. Everyone had assumed that Gabrielle was Xena's chosen bondmate. For Gabrielle to have shown up earlier in the day and then for Xena to be brought into the village with another woman had led to wild speculation that something had happened between the two women and Xena's confession seemed to prove the accusations truthful.

With the slightest of motion Ephany laid her right hand on Gabrielle's shoulder and bent down to whisper in her ear. Ephany talked to Gabrielle for a few moments as Gabrielle nodding her agreement on several occasions. Finally, Ephany straightened back up and without moving her right hand from Gabrielle's shoulder she raised her left hand, palm forward, towards Xena and Tomi.

"Xena, as always you are welcomed in Themiscrya. The queen has deemed that you and Tomi will share a hut near the council chambers." Ephany’s words were those of friendship, but her tone was crisp and distant.

"However, we must adjourn now. The queen is tired and must rest. It was quite an arduous trip home for her. There will be a feast in her honor this evening when the sun sets and you are both invited to attend." Ephany lowered her hand to her side.

"Baiel, show Xena and her friend to their tent and then return at once to me at the queen's tent." Ephany gave the command to one of the Amazon guards that had been standing guard near Gabrielle, making it a point not to look towards Xena.

Xena lowered her eyes and fought to control her anger. Ephany’s reference to Tomi as her friend, when she knew that Tomi was much more than that, was a challenge to Xena. Any other Amazon would have demanded combat at such an insult, but Xena was determined that she would not fight Ephany over Gabrielle. She had already caused Gabrielle enough pain, she would not add anything more to it.

It took Xena a moment to calm herself before she looked back up. Ephany stood confidently beside Gabrielle, a slight smirk settling on her lips as she realized Xena wouldn't fight her. Xena ignored her and turned her head to look directly at Gabrielle.

"We are humbled at your generosity and gratefully accept your hospitality." She lowered her head in respect to Gabrielle, who had sat quietly throughout the entire meeting.

Ephany impatiently jerked her head to the side and motioned Baiel to get on with showing Xena and Tomi to their quarters. She brought both hands together across her sternum, palms facing her chest, and then turned the palms upward and circled her arms out and away from her body.

"Carry on now my sisters, we meet tonight to welcome our Queen, Gabrielle, back home where she belongs." Ephany joyfully announced to the Amazons gathered around them.

A loud cheer went up from the crowd as Xena and Tomi were led away. Ephany’s comment that Gabrielle being back where she belonged was not lost on Xena, who chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip.

As soon as Xena was out of sight and the rest of the women had scurried away to prepare for the night's gathering, Ephany quickly waved for the remaining guards to come closer. She knelt close to Gabrielle and placed her other hand on Gabrielle's knee.

"My queen, are you all right?" Ephany inquired anxiously. She had doubted the wisdom of Gabrielle's insistence at meeting Xena and Gabrielle's silence throughout the meeting had greatly concerned her. She had wanted Gabrielle to remain in her tent and not meet Xena, Gabrielle had insisted that she could do it.

"Oh, Ephany." Gabrielle's voice was weak and shaky. "I don't feel very well at all." Gabrielle raised her hands to her mask and tried to remove it, but failed miserably.

"My queen, here...wait." Ephany covered Gabrielle's hands with her own and gently lifted the mask from Gabrielle's face. Ephany felt the simmering anger in her heart begin to boil as she saw the tear stains on Gabrielle's cheek and realized how torturous the meeting with Xena must have been for her.

"Gabrielle…" Ephany began, but was cut off as Gabrielle tried to speak.

"I just don't know what to do. It hurts so bad. I knew I loved, Xena, but… I didn't know where to go...." Gabrielle began to cry softly as her head sank down onto her chest. The Amazon guards began to bristle at Gabrielle's distress. They were unaccustomed to seeing their queen in such pain and were unsure of how they should react.

Ephany’s anger dissipated quickly as Gabrielle's sorrow touched her soul. "You did the right thing. You know that your place is here with us. This is your home. Gabrielle, we need you." Ephany softly spoke the words that she hoped would lend some comfort to the grieving woman.

"Thank you, Ephany." Gabrielle managed to reach her arm up and slide it around Ephany’s waist.

"Oh." Gabrielle felt a wave of nausea descend on her. "I...I need to go lay down." She tried to stand up only to falter and sink back down into the chair.

Ephany stood back up and pointing to the remaining guards barked out stern orders.

"That's it. You two. Go ahead of us to the queen's tent. Lay out her garments and prepare her bed." Motioning to the other guard. "You. Go to the healer's tent and bring her back with you. And hurry!"

The guards dashed off, relieved to have some duty to perform. Ephany reached up and brushed the hair out of Gabrielle's eyes and bending over her, swept the woman into her arms. Gabrielle struggled briefly, but soon gave in as Ephany held her close.

"Gabrielle, I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling right now, but trust me, we'll find a way to work things out. You'll see." Ephany promised as she began to walk slowly back to Gabrielle's tent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Eleven

Ephany remained seated next to Gabrielle’s bed for the rest of the afternoon. Gabrielle slept fitfully, as the nightmares descended on her fatigued mind and body. Whenever the torture seemed to build, Ephany would place her hand on Gabrielle’s arm and whisper quietly to her until Gabrielle settled back into a more peaceful sleep.

Ephany had an idea about the nightmares that Gabrielle was suffering through for she herself had spent many a tumultuous night trying to sleep when Priene, her intended bondmate decided to remain in Libya with her friend, and future bondmate, Myrina. She had thought she wouldn’t survive the emptiness that had darkened her very being. Even though she had celebrated what seemed like an endless number of solstices since Priene’s return to Libya, she had never found another woman who had managed to touch her soul quite like her.

"Sleep well, Gabrielle. I lost my love, but I won’t let you lose yours." Ephany assured the sleeping woman.

Gabrielle began to stir at the sound of Ephany’s voice. With a suddenness that even surprised Ephany, which was not an easy task, Gabrielle flung her arms over her face as if to ward off a physical attack.

"Gabrielle! Easy there. Gabrielle! It’s Ephany." Ephany stood up and bent over Gabrielle taking hold of both of her arms and pinning them down onto Gabrielle’s chest. She held Gabrielle motionless until the woman quite struggling.

Oh, Ephany." Gabrielle groaned as she shifted position under Ephany. Ephany began to loosen her grip on Gabrielle’s arms as she moved back away from her.

"Nightmares are not uncommon when one is as exhausted as you are. Don’t worry little one." Ephany tried to reassure her.

The journey to Themiscrya had been exhausting, but she felt much better after having slept for most of the day. Gabrielle lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling of the thatched roof. She thought of the other times that she had lain awake on that very same bed and thought about the raven-haired beauty that had often slept close beside her.

"Ephany, I’m not sure I should have come here. The memories…" Gabrielle stopped talking. The mere thought of Xena threatened to send her into another downward spiral of despair.

"Gabrielle. You need to talk about it. Tell me what happened." Ephany sat back down into the chair that was sitting beside the bed and nodded her head at Gabrielle encouraging her to continue.

"Ephany. I don’t know if I can…I mean, I’ve never talked about it to anyone and after what happened, I’m not even sure of what happened, nor how I feel about it, or what I should do about it." Gabrielle began to ramble on and on as she tried to put her thoughts into words.

"Whoa. Hang on. Slow down just a minute." Ephany raised her hand to coax Gabrielle to settle down and slowly work her way into the story. "Gabrielle, tell me what happened as if you were telling me a story about someone else. Remember, you're a bard…" Ephany continued with a smile.

Gabrielle gave Ephany a sad smile as she took a deep breath and began the story.

"We happened upon a woman, Tomi, who was being attacked by a gang of men. We joined in and during the fighting she was wounded. Xena started acting really strange and it seemed like they knew it other. Ephany, I could barely get Xena to help me with Tomi. It was as she was in a trance. Once she realized that Tomi was still alive, she seemed to come to and dressed her wounds. I asked her about Tomi and …Ephany, she told me that Tomi was her lover." Gabrielle cast her eyes down and worried the hem of the blanket that she had been kneading in her hands.

Ephany inhaled deeply at the realization of how tense the situation really was between Xena and Gabrielle. Here were these two women who were obviously in love with each other, but too stubborn to realize it, being confronted with the obvious by a lover of Xena’s. No wonder Gabrielle’s heart was breaking.

Gabrielle looked back up at Ephany, the tears brimming in her eyes. "Xena told me about how they met and how Tomi had gone back home and was caught in the volcano’s explosion. Xena and thought Tomi was dead and had gone after Hercules, hoping he would kill her and put her out of her misery. Well, we both know how that ended and then Xena and I met and I’ve been with her ever since. That is until we met Tomi."

Ephany began to rub the palms of her hands together in front of her, thinking of how difficult life had become for Xena and Gabrielle. Instead of having the time together to come to the realization of how they felt about each other, they were instead faced with a distinct possibility of a future without the other.

"Ephany, there’s still more. Actually, quite a bit more." Gabrielle reached over to the table next to the bed and picked up a bunch of grapes and popped one into her mouth. "Mmm…." She sighed as the sweet juice soothed her dry throat.

"Oh yeah." Gabrielle realized that Ephany had been waiting patiently for her to go on with the details. "Well, it was about a week later, Tomi had healed nicely and she had walked down to the stream to bathe. Xena and I were talking more about Tomi and I saw a whole new side of Xena emerge. She was passionate about Tomi. And she is a very beautiful woman." Gabrielle felt the warmth rising across her skin.

Ephany nodded in agreement.

"Xena got this look on her face and her breathing became labored and she looked at me with such desire in her eyes that I felt…well, I…" Gabrielle began to blush and discreetly placed one hand over her mouth as she thought about how Xena had affected her.

Ephany smiled slyly as she nodded her head, understanding that Gabrielle had figured out for herself the feelings that she had for Xena.

"Gabrielle…" Ephany began, but Gabrielle interrupted.

"Please…let me finish this…" Gabrielle pleaded as she lowered her hand into her lap. Ephany nodded once and let the smile fade from view.

Ephany. Xena and I…we… Well, we were together…like…you know…" Gabrielle stopped for a moment to gather control of her emotions. "I’ve never felt such passion as I did from her as she touched me and the desire that I felt for her was like…well, I think I know how Mt. Vesuvius felt."

"Gabrielle, it's no wonder you're upset. She makes love to you and then leaves you for that woman."

"Well, that's just it, Ephnay. There's one other thing about our being together that I haven’t told you yet." Gabrielle wasn’t certain how to explain it to Ephany. "Xena and I. Well… I'm not sure Xena was really with me. She was different and she kind of forced me to be with her." Gabrielle stopped and waited for Ephany’s response. She didn’t have to wait long.

"She WHAT?!" Ephany raged as she shot up out of her chair.

"Ephany, please! Not so loud. Others will hear." Gabrielle pleaded with Ephany as she stood up and moved in front of the fuming Amazon.

"I’ll kill her! How dare she touch you against your will? You’re our Queen. You’re an Amazon Queen. She will pay for her actions!" Ephany began to turn away from Gabrielle, her anger building as she imagined the mighty warrior princess forcing herself onto the smaller woman.

"Wait! Ephany. Please. It wasn’t against my will." Gabrielle confessed.

"What?" Ephany whirled back around to face Gabrielle.

"Sit back down. Please?" Ephany hesitated, she was still fuming, but she could never refuse the queen, or Gabrielle, anything she asked.

"When Xena first pulled me into her arms and began to kiss me, I struggled against her, unsure of what was happening and my own feelings. As far as Xena knew I didn’t want to be with her, but she couldn’t help herself. Within a few moments though, I realized that I wanted to be with her more than I had ever wanted anything else, but, well…there wasn’t much time to talk about it then." Gabrielle pulled another grape off the stem and slowly rolled it around inside her mouth.

"So you see, even though it started out as something Xena was forcing on me, it became something we both wanted…or so I thought. When we were finished, Xena began apologizing to me and ran away. She wouldn’t talk to me about it for the longest time. She kept talking about me having to go away, that I wasn’t safe with her. When we finally got the chance to talk, Tomi came back and found us arm in arm and accused Xena of forgetting her on purpose."

Ephany had calmed down considerably, but still held a growing seed of resentment towards Xena.

"How did Xena and Tomi wind up together then?" Ephany questioned as she tried to follow the changing turn of events.

"Well, Xena and Tomi got into an argument and Tomi found out that Xena had been told that she had died. She realized that Xena hadn’t forgotten her and so Tomi told Xena that things would be just like they were before. Xena seemed to change towards Tomi and it wasn’t long before I felt like a third wheel. That’s how I wound up back here." Gabrielle finished quickly.

"Sounds like there might be a little bit more to the ending of this story." Ephany wisely picked up on Gabrielle brisk finale. Gabrielle began to squirm around on the bed under Ephany’s attentive stare.

"Oh, all right…well, I was already planning on coming here, all three of us were going to travel here together, but on the day we were to leave I saw something that I wasn’t ready to see. Xena and Tomi had walked on down to the stream to bathe, but it took so long that I went to wash up also, taking another path mind you, but I still got there too early." Gabrielle began blush again as she looked away from Ephany. "Let’s just say I saw more than I wanted to…."

"Oh…." Ephany responded softly.

"Ephany, the worst thing was that Xena was so different with Tomi. She was so loving and tender and sweet. That was when I knew Xena really loved Tomi and I just couldn’t bear to stay with them any longer." Gabrielle lowered her head and covered her face with her hands as she began to sob.

"Oh Gabrielle, I’m so sorry." Ephany rose from the chair and went over to Gabrielle, taking her in her arms and holding her as the sobs began to subside.

"I can hardly stand to see her Ephany. I love her so much, and I’ve never told her how I really feel. I didn't think it was possible for us to be together like that." Gabrielle clung to Ephany as if she was a fragile lifeline.

"Honey, don’t give up hope. Love hasn’t abandoned you yet." Ephany laid a hand on Gabrielle’s hair and softly brushed it up and down the silky strands.

 

 

The feast was spread in the council chamber and everyone was amazed at the amount of food that had been prepared in such a short time. Gabrielle and Ephany had entered the chamber just as the sun was beginning to sink behind the far hills and a cheer had resounded through the valley as the warriors welcomed their queen back home.

Gabrielle was overwhelmed at their response and silently thanked Aphrodite that Xena and Tomi had declined the offer to attend the function. A warrior had arrived at her hut shortly after her talk with Ephany to tell her that Xena had requested that they be excused because of Tomi’s fatigue. Gabrielle had talked with Ephany and they were both convinced that the real reason was that Xena knew that everyone was talking about the bizarre turn of events and she didn’t want the evening to be uncomfortable for Gabrielle.

The evening was festive as music was played, women sang and danced and the wine flowed freely. Ephany kept a distant vigil over Gabrielle, moving in closer when an Amazon would become too pushy with the newly available queen. It would be quite an honor for one of the warriors to claim her as their prospective bondmate and many had already made their intentions known. Gabrielle had handled their advances with quiet civility, but even a queen can feel overwhelmed.

Gabrielle had decided that in her capacity as queen it was her responsibility to talk with any of the Amazons who approached her and accept all their toasts in her honor and to the longevity of the Amazons. In her weakened state it didn’t take long before she was feeling the intoxicating effects of the alcohol. She had been talking to a rather aggressive suitor when she had wobbled and sat down abruptly in her chair with a barely suppressed giggle.

Ephany excused herself for the two women she had been talking with and moved to stand near Gabrielle’s left shoulder.

"My queen, I believe you are getting a little tired." Ephany said quietly.

"Oh, Ephany. Look at all the women. They seem to be so happy. Am I really am home?" Gabrielle grabbed Ephany’s forearm and tugged on it.

Ephany smiled as she responded. "Yes, Queen Gabrielle. You are home and we are very pleased that you’ve returned to us."

"You know, I think I’m feeling better. <hic> Oops, sorry." Gabrielle cupped her hand over her mouth as she giggled. "That nap really helped."

"I’m not sure it was just the nap." Ephany confided.

"Oh, Ephany…I haven’t had THAT much to drink!" Gabrielle drunkenly reached for another goblet of wine.

"To Ephany!" Gabrielle yelled and held up the goblet, sloshing red wine up and over the side.

"To Ephany!" Came a resounding roar from the crowd of women as they returned the toast and drank heartily to the woman who had guided them in Gabrielle’s absence.

Gabrielle raised the goblet to her lips and drank deeply, not setting it down until she had drained its contents.

"Ahhhhhh…." She breathed as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth.

"Now, shwhere were we? Wait…that sounded funny. " She frowned as she leaned towards Ephany, a slight wobble in her carriage. She lurched forward as her elbow missed the arm of the chair she was sitting in.

"Whoops." Gabrielle barely managed to catch herself before she would have fallen flat on her face. "The arm of this chair should be wider." She sat and studied the arm of the chair attempting time after time to place her elbow on it, failing more often than succeeding.

Ephany had to bit her lip and turned away as she fought the urge to laugh at Gabrielle’s drunken attempt to comprehend why she was having so much trouble.

Ephany cleared her throat loudly to gain the attention of the crowd of women.

"Amazons. Please feel free to continue the celebration, but as you are all aware, the queen has been hard pressed the last few days and she should retire early this evening."

"Hail Queen Gabrielle!" Came a voice from the crowd and other voices soon followed until a thundering cry of "Gabrielle" echoed through the land.

Gabrielle managed to grab the arms of the chair and forced herself up to her feet, trying with all her might not to sway as she looked out on the Amazons who worshipped her.

"Thank you, my warriors. I won’t let you down! AMAZONS!!!! Gabrielle shouted as she crossed her arms, palms towards her chest and then circled them, palms held upwards out and away from her. The women cheered their queen as she stood smiling.

 

Ephany touched her lightly on her left shoulder and then moved between her and the other women as she coaxed her towards the door.

The brisk night air greets them with its coolness and Gabrielle shivers involuntarily. Ephany takes off her cloak and drapes it over Gabrielle’s shoulders.

"Ephany, why doesn’t she love me?" Gabrielle sad voice touched something deep inside Ephany’s heart.

"Oh Gabrielle, honestly I thought she did. I think she’s just really confused right now."

"What’s the difference between having sex and making love?" Gabrielle turned soft puppy-dog eyes towards Ephany. "Did we make love that night, or was she just thinking of Tomi when she touched me?"

Ephany had to close her eyes for a moment as the pain in Gabrielle’s voice tore at her.

"I think Aphrodite hates me. She let me fall in love with Xena, be with her, and then ripped her away from me." Gabrielle stumbled and fell into Ephany.

Ephany grabbed Gabrielle around the waist and supported her as they walked up to Gabrielle’s tent.

"Ephany" Gabrielle nuzzled up against Ephany. "Stay with me tonight."

"Gabrielle, I don’t think that would be the right thing to do."

"Oh, you don’t want to be with me either." Gabrielle began to angrily push away from Ephany.

Ephany, with little effort, held Gabrielle against her. "Oh, Gabrielle, believe me, that’s far from the truth, it’s just that you’ve been drinking."

"I can’t be alone. I need to be with someone." Gabrielle quit pushing away from Ephany and laid her head on her shoulder as she again began to cry softly.

"Okay, okay. Let’s get you inside and ready to lay down, okay?" Ephany conceded and with a nod of approval from Gabrielle, helped her inside.

Ephany helped Gabrielle out of her clothes and into a soft, nightshirt. Gabrielle lay down on the bed and pulled the covers up over her body, leaving an area of the bed beside her uncovered. As Ephany turned to leave Gabrielle reached out a hand and touched her lightly on the forearm.

"Ephany please." Gabrielle pleaded with her, lowering the blanket seductively, exposing one breast.

"Gabrielle."

"Do I need to make that an order from your queen?" Gabrielle inquired sensuously.

"Ahhh Gabrielle please don’t." Ephany dueled with conflicting desires. There was no denying that she found Gabrielle very attractive and if it wasn’t for the fact that she knew Gabrielle was in love with Xena, she would be the first in line to court her.

"Ephany, I promise you, you won’t regret it." Gabrielle began to rake her fingernails across Ephany’s sensitive skin as a look of desperation built in Gabrielle’s eyes.

Ephany took a deep breath and slowly removed her leather tunic. Gabrielle arched her eyebrows at Ephany who then reached down and removed the soft cotton undergarment. Gabrielle smiled appreciatively at the statuesque Amazon as she eased her naked body down onto the bed next to Gabrielle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twelve

Sleep had always been an elusive visitor for Xena, yet last night had been the worst that she could remember. When she had finally managed to relax enough to allow sleep to brush across her, the demons from her nightmares tore at her flesh, howling with indignation.

Xena vaulted from the bed, throwing the blanket across the room, wrestling against the phantoms of her past. Her breathing was ragged as she looked around frantically. Unaware of Xena’s turmoil, Tomi remained sound asleep. She had drifted off quickly, tired from the hard ride in the morning and the tension that had settled between her and Xena when they arrived in Themiscrya.

As Xena became aware of her surroundings her energy dissolved and she sank heavily onto the bed. She ran her fingers up through her damp hair and willed herself to calm down. It had been so different. She hadn’t felt such panic since…since before Gabrielle had started traveling with her. The once comforting hands that had so often eased her back into consciousness hadn’t been there for her.

"Oh, Gabrielle. What have I done?" Xena stood up and turned to look down onto Tomi sleeping peacefully. She stood gazing down at Tomi trying to fathom the depth of her emotions for the two women who had meant so much to her. Tomi had been the light that had shown through the darkness, the fragile flame that guided Xena out of the stormy seas of hatred and revenge, but Gabrielle had nurtured that flickering beacon into a torch that had burned it’s brilliance into the very fiber of Xena’s soul.

Xena owed both women her life, but she could give only one her heart. She turned from the bed and gathering up her sword, walked out of the tent. Argo had been allowed to roam freely outside the tent and upon hearing her master’s movements, whinnied softly. Xena smiled and walked up to Argo, relieved to know that one female would always be able to understand her, and through her arm around her neck.

"Argo. Old girl, what should I do?"

Argo bent her head down to Xena’s shoulder and nudged her gently. Xena laughed out loud as she imagined what Argo must be thinking.

"If it was only that easy." Xena thought to herself.

Xena stepped back, grabbed a handful of Argo’s main and leaped onto her back.

"Let’s go, Argo. I need some time and some space in which to think." Xena pushed her knees into Argo’s flank and the two became one as they bounded off into the night.

 

 

The sun had been shining brightly for quite some time when Xena and Argo made their way back into the village. The center court was bustling with activity and talk of Gabrielle. Xena guided Argo behind one of the merchant’s tent intent on learning more about what the women had to say. She cocked one eyebrow as she dismounted and stood near Argo, curious as to what was being said about Gabrielle.

"Did you hear the news? Phaedra told Telesilla that Thiba, who was on guard duty this morning, saw Ephany leave the queen’s tent just before sunrise."

"No! Wouldn’t that be something? Imagine. Ephany and the queen."

"Gabrielle was certainly feeling no pain at the banquet last night. Did you see the way Ephany stood guard over her and when any of the women tried to approach her, Ephany would make her presence known."

"Sounds like Ephany’s already staking a claim to the royal treasure."

Riotous laughter burst from the crowd of women as Xena felt a tightness grip her heart. She could not imagine another woman touching Gabrielle as a lover or feeling the same passion that Gabrielle had shared with her. As Xena strode purposefully around the corner the woman instantly became silent. She ignored them as she stalked by them intent only on confronting Ephany.

It didn’t take her long to find her as Ephany was just on the other side of the center in front of the council chamber talking with several other women about an upcoming expedition that she was to lead to Amasis. Xena walked up to her and grabbed her arm, spinning the Amazon around to face her.

"What are your intentions with her?" Xena demanded as she released Ephany, her other hand resting on her chakram.

The other women had been startled by Xena’s brutish action towards Ephany, but had recovered and were moving towards her. Ephany raised her hand to stop them, never breaking eye contact with Xena, cautious of the warrior’s skill.

Ephany cocked her head slightly, her left eye narrowing as she allowed herself to grow agitated. "Xena. I don’t believe that is any of your business."

Xena took a deep breath, expanding her chest to its full size and Ephany moved her hand slightly so that it rested on her dagger.

"Amazon, it is my business, because I make it my business.. I still consider Gabrielle a friend and I always look out for my friends. I never considered you an opportunist. But I guess I might have been wrong about you." The bitterness in Xena’s voice was evident to all.

Ephany knew she had Xena right where she wanted her. "Xena. Gabrielle no longer travels at your side. You have taken another woman for that task." Ephany tensed, concerned at Xena’s reaction, but knew she had to push the issue. "If Gabrielle chooses to allow me to replace you, it is HER choice."

The women who had been standing nearby unconsciously took a collective step backwards, certain that Xena would pounce on Ephany after her bold words. They had been witness to her challenge the day before and knew that combat was coming because these two warrior women.

"Mark my words Ephany. I will let no one, not even you, use her for gain. Nor for pleasure." Xena’s threat was not lost on deaf ears.

"Xena, that is no longer for you to decide, is it? You have no idea what I feel for Gabrielle and again it is no longer any of your business and I would appreciate it if you minded your own business." Ephany emphasized her determination by drawing her dagger with a quick flick of her wrist.

Xena didn’t move a muscle as she glared at Ephany.

"Xena! Xena, where are you?" Tomi’s light voice carried through the stark silence.

"Oh there you are." Tomi came rushing up to Xena. She started to grab her arm. But stopped as she saw the look on Xena’s face. Tomi turned to where Xena was staring and saw Ephany standing with her dagger pointed menacingly towards Xena.

"What’s going on?!"

Xena sighed as she released the tension in her muscles, still never looking away from Ephany. "Nothing. At least right now." The vagueness of her statement left no doubt in Ephany’s mind that there would be another meeting between her and Xena.

"That’s right, Tomi. We were just discussing strategy. The importance of knowing when to walk away from a lost cause." Ephany managed to get one last dig in at Xena before she sheathed her dagger and turned her back to Xena.

Xena took a step towards Ephany before she managed to control her reaction. "Come on, Tomi. Let’s get out of here." She reached out for Tomi and pulled her alongside as she stormed away.

Ephany’s hands were shaking slightly. She knew she was taking a grave chance needling Xena and then walking away.

"Ephany. That wasn’t very smart." Diedra, one of the other warriors and a friend of hers hurried up along side her.

"I know. But I’m not going to let her ruin Gabrielle’s happiness." Ephany knew that she was intentionally misleading Diera, but it was imperative that Xena know that Gabrielle was moving on with her life. A life without Xena.

"I thought Xena was going to try to kill you."

"That, my friend, was a distinct possibility."

 

A shard of sunlight played across Gabrielle’s eyes as she tried to turn her head away from it.

"Ohhhh. By the gods..." Gabrielle moaned as the movement sent a thundering ache through her head. She tried to roll over, but only succeeded in sending her stomach into fits of nausea.

"Ohh…I wish I was dead." Gabrielle gasped as she tried to find somewhere to hid from the torture she was feeling.

"My queen." A voice called from outside.

"Ahh. Yes, what is it?" The loudness of her voice echoed painfully in her ears.

"Forgive me, my queen, but Ephany thought that you might be feeling the effects of your long journey, and left something for you that might help you feel better.

"Please. Come in." Gabrielle nearly pleaded with the guard as she felt another wave of sickness threaten her. She had to cup her hand over her mouth to make sure she didn’t vomit.

The guard entered cautiously carrying a pitcher and a bowl, which she carried over to the table next to the bed.

"Would there be anything else, my queen?" The guard inquired, trying not to notice the green tint to Gabrielle’s face.

"No. Thank you. That’s all." Gabrielle managed to get out before she had to cover her mouth once more.

The guard nodded and hurried from the tent as a smile threatened to break over her face. She hadn’t seen that bad of a hangover in a long time.

"I’ll never drink again. Not even water." Gabrielle promised, hoping that it would help ease her sickness. Every part of her body seemed to hrob as her headache grew more demanding. Even thinking seemed to increase the tempo of the pounding beat.

Gabrielle tried to remember a time that she had felt so bad. "Ahhhh.

I haven’t been this bad since that time I got drunk on elderberry wine and tried to take that gorgeous hunk up to our room…"

"Oh my gods! Ephany!" Gabrielle sat upright reaching for her head as the pain stabbed behind her eyes. It took a moment for her to steel her stomach against the churning.

"Oh noooooo…I didn’t." Gabrielle hung her head down and covered her eyes with her hands. She thought back on the evening before and realized that she didn’t have much of a memory of the events that had happened. She did recall that she Ephany had helped her back to her tent and then things began to get a little fuzzy. All she could be certain about was that she had been trying to seduce Ephany and then a vague memory of Ephany lying beside her on the bed.

"I did." Gabrielle felt her stomach lurch. She dove to the side of bed as she lost the battle with her stomach..

 

It had taken a couple of hours and all the remedies that Ephany had left for her, but Gabrielle felt like she could finally get up and move around. She knew she had to talk to Ephany, but was not looking forward to facing her.

"Ah. Good morning, Ephany." It hadn’t taken Gabrielle to long to find Ephany, everyone she met was more than happy to tell her where they had last seen Ephany. Gabrielle even wondered as to just how much they knew based upon some of the looks she had been given.

Ephany looked up from the scroll she had been reading and smiled as Gabrielle approached her.

"Hmm. You’re looking better than I thought you would." Ephany teased as she allowed the scroll to resume it’s natural, rolled state.

"Well, I look much better than I feel." Gabrielle responded truthfully. "Actually, I think I need to sit down."

Ephany quickly stood up and moved around the table to take Gabrielle’s elbow in her hand and led her to the chair.

"There. You all right? Did you use the remedies? I stopped by the healer’s tent this morning. I thought you might need something." The humor in Ephany’s voice was evident.

Gabrielle looked up at Ephany, basking in the women’s caring gaze. "Ephany, about last night. We need to talk."

"Gabrielle. There’s nothing to talk about." Ephany looked down on Gabrielle and with the back of her hand caressed Gabrielle’s cheek.

"Oh, but Ephany…I should never have…" Gabrielle’s voice began to falter. "I. Ephany, I’m not in love with you. I shouldn’t have been with you."

"What?" Ephany withdrew her hand and stepped back from Gabrielle.

"Oh Ephany. Please. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just.I love Xena. I am so sorry." Gabrielle put her head down into her hands as she felt tears threaten.

"Gabrielle. Just how much of last night do you remember?" Ephany was beginning to understand what Gabrielle was trying to say.

"Well. Truthfully...not very much at all."

Ephany could see a reddish tint seep into Gabrielle’s cheeks and fought to suppress a smile.

"I remember asking you to stay with me and I remember you laying next to me in the bed…" Gabrielle couldn’t go any further.

Ephany couldn’t control it any longer as she began to chuckle. She stepped next to Gabrielle and knelt down beside the chair.

"Little one. You laid snuggled in my arms last night and talked about Xena until you passed out." Gabrielle stiffened and looked up at Ephany.

"Gabrielle. Nothing happened." Ephany finally allowed the huge grin to spread across her face. "Alas, I finally have the queen invite me into her bed only to have her fall asleep on me." Ephany laughed heartily.

Gabrielle let out her breath, relief flooding through her. "Thank the Goddess!"

"Hey! It wouldn’t have been that bad." Ephany feigned hurt feelings.

"Oh Ephany, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it that way." Gabrielle began to apologize, but Ephany waved her to silence.

"I know. I’m just teasing you. But, you know, after what happened this morning, I think we could use it to your advantage." Ephany finished conspiratorially.

Gabrielle looked at her with a puzzled expression as Ephany began to explain the about the earlier confrontation with Xena.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

With every passing day Xena became moodier and more distant. Tomi had tried to spend time with her, but Xena always had to practice fighting or see to Argo. The difficulties between Xena and Tomi had not gone unnoticed in the village, the gossip was turning to what was wrong between them and what would happen when Xena found out that Tomi had been spending time with one of the warriors that had come to court queen Gabrielle.

Xena spent the days trying to catch a glimpse of Gabrielle, swearing to herself that she was only concerned about Gabrielle’s well being. Each time she managed to see Gabrielle she was with Ephany and Xena’s lethargy grew deeper and deeper. She tried to keep her mind off Gabrielle by practicing with the other Amazons, but her concentration wasn’t what it should have been and she had been beaten several times.

Xena had thought often of leaving Themiscrya, but could never bring herself to jump astride Argo and gallop off and leave Gabrielle in her past. She knew if she left now, she would never return and she just couldn’t face that possibility, so she stayed and endured the suffering of watching the woman she loved spend time with another.

Everywhere she went in the village women were talking about Gabrielle or about her. After she had refused to fight Ephany they didn’t even bother to change the topic of their discussions as she passed by. The number of warriors in the village was a constant reminder to Xena that, besides the fact Gabrielle was the queen, many women found Gabrielle attractive and were more than willing to ask for her favors.

Tomi had often seen Xena distracted about battle plans when they had been together before, but she had always been able to entice Xena into other activities. It seemed that this time though, she couldn’t do anything to reach her reclusive lover. The only time Tomi could even get close to Xena was when it came time to go to bed and even then Xena had changed considerably.

"Xena. What have I done wrong?’ Tomi was sitting at the table tying her hair into a loose braid.

Xena had already lain down on the bed with her hands behind her head, staring at the ceiling.

"What do you mean? You haven’t done anything wrong." Xena responded.

"Xena, something has happened. You don’t even speak to me anymore, let alone." Tomi finished with her hair and sat on the side of the bed next to Xena. Almost without thinking, Xena shifted her body away from Tomi.

"See. That’s exactly what I mean. You treat me like a leper." Tomi reached towards Xena.

"Tomi, don’t. I need to go for a walk." Xena sat up and slid off the bed. Tomi remained sitting on the bed, looking down at the space where Xena had been. Xena was in such a rush that she didn’t even stop to pick up her sword as she left the tent.

Xena did not return to their tent that night. Instead she walked through the forest not wanting to see anyone or have to think of anything. Her life had become so complicated since she had found Tomi again.

Xena knew that she had been very fond of Tomi and the intimacy that she had found in the young woman. Xena had felt like life was worth living again when she was with Tomi. When Tomi died that part of her died also. But that had been a long time ago and so much had happened to her since then. The most important thing was having met Gabrielle. Now, her every thought and action revolved around the young bard.

Ever since finding Tomi, Xena had been tortured with the indecision of what she was supposed to do. She knew she owed Tomi so much but seeing Gabrielle spending time with someone else and not being able to talk to her was slowly driving her crazy. She often thought of what Gabrielle and Ephany were doing when they were alone.

"Stop it!" Xena extorted at herself. Her thundering voice startled a small forest creature that scurried away from her, rustling the bushes in its haste.

"She’s not like that. What happened between us was only because I forced her. Ephany might want her, but it’ll never happen." Xena reasoned away any doubts she had about Gabrielle’s ability to love another woman.

"But, I do love her. More than I have loved anyone in my life." Xena realized that it was this, her love for Gabrielle, which had been tormenting her for so long. When Xena thought Tomi had died she had virtually turned off her emotions when it came to love. She had been with several men to ease the physical needs, but in remembrance of Tomi she had never slept with another woman. Gabrielle had been so young and naïve that in the beginning she had never even considered such an idea. But, as Gabrielle had matured into a very attractive and alluring young woman she had grown more agitated and had sought physical pleasure on a more regular basis.

"By the gods. I’ve been so blind." Xena slapped at the tangled vines that tried to inhibit her progress. "I thought I began feeling that way for Gabrielle because of finding Tomi again. Gods, I’m a fool!"

Xena stopped and raised her head up to look around at the forest. It was nearly sunrise and she had to get back to the village, quick. Gaining her bearings she began to run, covering the distance back to Gabrielle in long, ground eating strides.

 

 

 

Xena entered the village shortly after the sun had risen over the distant hills and headed straight for the tent where Tomi was still sleeping. Unnoticed by her, one of the Amazon guards had seen her enter the village and reported Xena’s movements to Ephany.

"Ah. I think it’s time." Ephany smiled to herself as she thought of Gabrielle and Xena.

"Axias, I want you to go to the town crier and give her this message to pass on immediately. Tell her that Queen Gabrielle and Ephany are to be bonded at the next full moon."

"At once." Axias responded and quickly left the council chamber. Ephany sat looking at the scroll that she had been studying ever since Gabrielle had returned to them. The scroll contained the laws that had guided the Amazons for years.

"Gabrielle, I hope this works out the way I expect it to. Artemis, guide me." Ephany rolled the scroll back up and stood up, knowing that events would proceed quickly. Ephany knew she had better reach Gabrielle and warn her before Gabrielle heard the news from someone else.

 

Xena burst back into the tent to find Tomi still sound asleep. She walked over to the bed and shook Tomi by the shoulder.

"Hey sleepy. Wake up. We need to talk." Xena was insistent as she continued to shake Tomi.

"Hey, all right already. I’m awake. What’s the big idea?" Tomi brushed Xena’s hand from her shoulder as she tried to wake up. "You’re the one who didn’t want to talk last night." She yawned as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Tomi. I…I don’t know what to do." Xena’s voice broke as she turned her back to Tomi and sank down on the side of the bed.

Tomi sat up in bed as a look of concern crossed her face. She was wide-awake now. "Xena, you know you can talk to me."

"Tomi. Let me tell you everything before you say anything, okay?" Xena still refused to turn around and face her. She knew that what she had to say was not going to be easy for either one of them.

"Sure love, whatever you want." Tomi agreed as she propped a pillow up behind her back.

"I’m not even sure where I should begin. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you kneeling in the dirt on the road. It was as if I was looking at a ghost. I had put those feeling away and thought I would never let them out again. But then I was so overwhelmed by the feel of you in my arms again." Xena took a deep breath before continuing.

"All those feelings came rushing back to the surface and when I was sitting there telling Gabrielle about you and I, well, it was just too much." Xena lowered her head as she thought about what she had done to Gabrielle.

"The desire was so strong that I forced Gabrielle to be with me."

"What? But she told me you had never given your heart to another woman. She lied to me?" Tomi slammed her hand down on the mattress.

"No, Tomi. She didn’t lie to you. Even I thought I it was because of you. She told you what she believed was right - that I had never loved another woman. But Tomi, that isn’t the truth." Xena raised her head back up and turned to look at Tomi.

"Tomi. That’s what has been eating at me lately. It’s Gabrielle…"

Tomi looked down for a moment before raising her eyes back up to meet Xena’s. "You are in love with her, aren’t you?"

Xena swallowed before she responded. "Yes, I am."

"Well, I guess it doesn’t surprise me that much. I knew something was bothering you and, you really have changed so much." Tomi placed her hand on Xena’s back. "You know though, I do love you."

"Oh Tomi, I know that and I’m so sorry." Xena began to cry as she thought of how much the two of them had shared and how important Tomi had been to whom Xena had become.

"Xena, I have something to tell you that might make this a little easier for you. I didn’t know how or when I was going to bring this up, but this might be the best time." Tomi rubbed her hand up and down Xena’s back as she tried to comfort her.

"Well, since you haven’t been spending very much time with me since we’ve been here I’ve had quite a bit of time to browse around and meet other women." Tomi cleared her throat, "Ah, Xena, do you know a warrior named Callima?"

The name was not familiar to Xena.

"We’ve spent quite some time together and Xena. I really like her." Tomi quit rubbing Xena’s back and waited anxiously for Xena’s response.

Xena chuckled quietly to herself. "How does she feel about you?"

"She’s asked me to go back to Cremni with her in a few days."

"Well, that answers that question. What did you tell her?" Xena sat silently looking at her hands.

"Xena. I want to go with her. Oh Xena, she reminds me so much of you when we were together before…" Tomi’s exuberance bubbled out as she spoke of Callima and Xena smiles sadly.

"Tomi. I’m happy for you. You know you will always have a special place in my heart. And, she better treat you right or she’ll have to answer to me." Xena laid her hand on Tomi’s thigh.

"Thank you Xena. Now, about Gabrielle. Don’t you think it’s time you let her know how you feel?"

"Tomi, I can’t. It just isn’t possible for Gabrielle and I to be together. How could she even think of being with me after what I did to her. She must hate me. Perhaps Ephany would be a better mate for her. Damn it Tomi, I don’t even know if she can be with another woman." Xena rubbed her hands up and down her muscular thighs.

"Excuse me Xena, but from what I’ve been told and the way she and Ephany have been carrying on, I don’t think there’s any doubt about her being able to be with another woman. And as for what happened between the two of you, well, how long did she fight you?" Tomi had grabbed Xena by the shoulders and turned her around to face her.

"Ahh. Well, she didn’t struggle very long before she…" Xena turned her head away from Tomi as she felt the warmth of a blush creep up her face.

Tomi laughed softly at the shyness of the warrior princess. "Just what I thought. Xena, you need to go and talk with her. Look at how you’ve been acting lately. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

Xena looked back at Tomi as a smile tugged at her lips. "You know Tomi, I think you’re right.

A horn sounded loudly outside their tent. Tomi looked quizzically at Xena.

"It sounds like an official announcement." Both women jumped to their feet and hurried to the door. Outside in the center of the village common a woman was just lowering the horn from her mouth. Women were gathering around her from all over the village.

"Amazons, hear me. Spread the word throughout the lands. Our Queen Gabrielle will be bound with the warrior Ephany at the next full moon. All are expected to attend the ceremony. Rejoice Sisters! Long live Queen Gabrielle and Ephany!"

A roar went up from the crowd as the women cheered the future happiness of their Queen as Tomi turned to look at a grief-stricken Xena.

 

 

 

Chapter Fourteen

Ephany and Gabrielle had been standing outside Gabrielle’s tent with her when they heard the crier relay the news to the village. Gabrielle shivered involuntarily as she heard the words ring through the air, knowing that Xena was hearing that she was to be with another woman.

"Ephany. Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Gabrielle leaned her head on Ephany’s shoulder.

"Trust me Gabrielle, from what I’ve heard from the guards I have posted to watch over Xena, the time is definitely right." Ephany slid her arm around Gabrielle’s waist as she turned the young woman to face her. Gabrielle raised her head from Ephany’s shoulder and looked into her eyes.

"I owe you so much. I’ll never forget what you’re trying to do for us."

"Gabrielle, one must never interfere with a love that Aphrodite has blessed. From the first day I saw the two of you, it was obvious that she meant for you to be together. I was surprised because Xena had always kept her feelings tightly hidden inside and you were so obviously taken with her." Ephany grinned down at Gabrielle.

"I know, I know. A naïve virgin?" Gabrielle wryly answered as she playfully punched Ephany in the arm.

"Hey, owww!" Ephany laughed heartily as she teased Gabrielle. "Yeah, Gabrielle, you were so obvious…"

"Oh, and I bet you were miss know-it-all before you started messing around with women." Gabrielle shot back at her tormentor.

"Hmm…." Ephany appeared to be lost in memory as she stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Well, let’s see, I think I was about ten when I first …Nope. I’ve always known what I was doing."

"Oh my gods." Gabrielle shook her head. "And I thought Xena was bad."

Ephany laughed again and pulled Gabrielle against her in a mighty bear hug. "Xena better realize how blessed she is to have your love little one, or she’s going to have an entire nation of Amazons ready to do battle against her."

Some of the women who had been in the village center to hear the announcement had begun to filter back to their earlier tasks. As they drew closer to the queen’s tent they saw the Gabrielle and Ephany hugging In front of her tent and rushed up to them.

"Congratulations Queen Gabrielle and Ephany. May the goddess bless you."

"Long live Queen Gabrielle and Ephany."

Gabrielle blushed and buried her face in Ephany’s chest. Ephany placed a hand protectively on Gabrielle’s head as she addressed the women.

"Thank you all. The queen and I appreciate your kind comments and your blessings. As you can see though, Queen Gabrielle is overwhelmed at all the excitement. Please go on about your business. And again, thank you."

The women nodded understandingly and moved on away from Gabrielle’s tent.

"Ephany, this may be tougher than what I thought. How am I ever going to face Xena?"

"Don’t worry. Leave that to me." Ephany turned her body so that Gabrielle was beside her, her arms still wrapped protectively around her as she urged her back into the tent.

 

Xena had turned away from Tomi and fled back into their tent. Tomi hurried after her, concerned about Xena’s reaction.

"Xena?." Tomi questioned cautiously to Xena’s back as she bent over to pick up her sword.

"Tomi, just drop it. Apparently Gabrielle has made her decision. Athena’s justice is always precise. To give me both the women I love and then take them from me. She has outdone herself. I guess I should be proud, she must have thought long and hard about how she could hurt me the worst." Xena slid her sword into the scabbard on her back and gathered up her bags and Argo’s saddle. I’m sure she had quite a laugh over watching me fight with my emotions. It was foolish for me to even think it could be any different. That I could find true love with Gabrielle."

"Xena. Wait! Where are you going?" Tomi tried to touch Xena, but she jerked her arm away from her.

"I shouldn’t have stayed here this long. It’s time for me to leave. Have a good life Tomi. Be happy." Xena turned to look at her for just a brief moment and then stalked out of the tent.

Several women were still milling around the village center excited talking about the upcoming ceremony. When they saw Xena emerge from the tent they abruptly silenced their revelry. Xena stopped and looked over the women, a scowl settling on her face.

"What’s wrong? Aren’t you still happy for them? I am." Xena bellowed. She turned and stomped towards the last place that she had seen Argo. She had to get out of there and quick. One of the guards, who had been standing unobtrusively near the temple of Artemis, discreetly slid along side the building and disappeared behind it.

It didn’t take Xena long to find her trusty steed. Argo had located a small patch of clover growing in the shade of an ancient oak and was happy munching on a mouthful of the flavorful treat.

"Come on Argo. It’s time we were on our way." Xena stepped up beside her and threw the saddle on her back. Argo shied away from her as she sensed the hostility in her.

"Easy girl, it’s okay." Xena tried to soothe the skittish horse, but she wasn’t having very much luck.

"Seems that she knows she’s not going anywhere soon."

Xena whirled around as Ephany and the entire Queen’s guard came into view.

"Ephany. I have nothing to say to you." Xena turned back around to Argo and tried to grab the reins of the nervous horse. "I was just leaving."

Ephany motioned the guard to circle around Xena and Argo. Xena raised an eyebrow as she saw the women move around her and taking a deep breath she turned to face Ephany.

"You just won’t let this go will you."

"I told you we would talk again, warrior."

"Ephany, I have nothing more to say to you. Actually, yes I do." Xena narrowed her eyes and flexed her hands. "You had better take very good care of her. She deserves to be happy and to be loved."

"That’s exactly why I’m here."

Xena arched an eyebrow at Ephany as she tried to fathom what the warrior meant. There had been a time when Xena had first brought Gabrielle into Amazon land that Ephany and had at been suspicious of each other. Over the last couple of years though, they had come to an understanding of mutual respect for each other.

"Xena, we both know that you cared for Gabrielle a great deal." Ephany began.

"Care for." Xena corrected her pointedly.

"You are right. Care for. You also know that it is not conducive to the nation for the queen to remain without a consort or a mate for any length of time. We always assumed that the two of you were together, so…" Ephany watched Xena carefully, cautious of her growing anger.

Xena assumed a pose of barely controlled boredom and crossed her arms across her chest in front of her." And?"

"Xena. Gabrielle told me what happened between the two of you. What you did to her." Ephany tensed as she played her trump card. With a quick glance to her second in command, she alerted her to be ready for anything.

Xena’s body stiffened as she lowered her arms to her side.

"Xena, you know what the punishment is for raping an Amazon. Let alone the Amazon Queen."

Xena’s lips rose in a knowing smirk. "Yes. I know what the punishment is."

Xena moved her right hand down to her chakram as the Amazons prepared to meet her attack. She looked down at the clasp that held it in place. With a flick of her fingers she released the lethal weapon. Ephany drew her sword and flexing her knees, readied herself for Xena’s approach. She knew that they had to be able to subdue Xena without killing her and hopefully without getting any of her warriors killed in the process. She had spent several hours over the weeks that Xena had been in camp going over the plans to capture Xena when the time came.

"I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to come after me." Xena held the chakram in her hand and held it out to Ephany. "I won’t fight you."

The muscles around Ephany’s eye twitched as she reached for the chakram, still expecting a vicious blow from the warrior princess. Instead, Xena gave up the chakram and slowly reached behind and pulled the sword out and flipping it gracefully, presented the handle of it to Ephany.

"It’s just as well that it ends here. Better to die at the hands of a woman than of a man."

 

Xena was shackled hand and foot and led blindfolded into the council chambers. Amazon law had decreed that the defendant must be present at any trial, but, in deference to their victim, they were to be blindfolded and their hands and legs fettered so that they felt defenseless. They were to receive no more mercy than they had shown during their misdeed. Xena was left standing alone on the huge, obsidian stone altar at the front of the chamber while the town crier called the village inhabitants to witness the trial.

The women gathered quickly and the murmur of voices rose quickly as news spread of Xena’s trial and of what she was accused of. So much had happened in the past few weeks and there so many developments that they had no idea what to expect next. Angry voices carried over the roar of the crowd and Xena knew that her time was growing short.

A hush descended over the crowd as Ephany escorted Gabrielle into the chamber. Tomi and Callima followed closely behind them. When Ephany had told Gabrielle that Xena was seen preparing to leave, Gabrielle had hurried to Tomi and quickly explained what Ephany had in mind. Gabrielle and Tomi had found Camilla and then rushed back to talk to Ephany before going to the council chamber to begin the trial.

Ephany assisted Gabrielle to her throne, and turned to face the women who had gathered at her request.

"You all know why you have been called here today. You will be the jury of Xena’s peers. It will be your duty to judge her as to her crime." Ephany turned to face Xena and instinctively Xena shuffled her feet so that she was also facing Ephany.

"Xena of Poteidia, also know to all as the Warrior Princess…you are charged with the heinous crime of rape. The rape of our Queen Gabrielle, who traveled with you under your protection. Rape. A crime that brings shame to the weak psyche of men, but utter destruction to the soul of women." Ephany concentrated on how Gabrielle must have felt in those first few moments when Xena pulled the struggling woman against her body. It was important that she show no compassion to her.

"How plead you?"

Xena did not respond as she thought of how she felt for Gabrielle. It seemed poetic justice that Gabrielle’s future bondmate was presiding over her trial. Xena also thought about Amazon justice and that when the sentence of death was announced, she had no doubt that it would be death, Gabrielle would have to brandish the dagger. As the queen, Gabrielle could not refuse the tradition. She had fought so hard and so long to protect Gabrielle’s blood innocence and in the end it would be because of her that she would lose it.

"How plead you, Xena?" Ephany’s voice commanded her to reply.

"Guilty." Xena replied softly as she lowered her head onto her chest.

A rumbled coursed through the chamber as the gathered women began to talk about how it could have happened and that she had to pay the consequences.

Ephany looked up from Xena and glared at the other women. "Silence!"

Turning back to Xena she hesitated for a moment as she noticed the droop of Xena’s shoulders. "So be it. Xena, you confess your crime by pleading guilty. It is the decree of Amazon law and of this court that you shall suffer the punishment befitting your crime. However, before the sentence can be carried out you must explain in front of these women and in front of Gabrielle the reason for your villainy.

Xena wet her lips as she thought of what she should say. She knew that this would be her last time to tell Gabrielle how she felt about her and so she decided that her honesty would be her final gift to her cherished bard.

"When I lost Tomi I thought that I would never feel so passionately about another women again. I consoled myself with men and told myself that it wasn’t so bad. Then, after finding Tomi alive again, the feelings became renewed. I allowed my memories of Tomi and that newfound desire to let me make love to you Gabrielle. I didn’t realize it until just recently that it was you that I was in love with, not Tomi." Xena paused as she tried to control the quiver in her voice.

"I…I just couldn’t imagine being with you like that. I didn’t think you would want me. Gabrielle, I wanted you so badly that I couldn’t control it. When you asked me why didn’t I need you, I had to touch you. I had to show you how I felt." Xena faltered as her knees buckled and she slumped to her knees.

Gabrielle began to go to Xena, but Ephany put out her arm and held her back.

"Gabrielle." Ephany whispered. "Now is the most crucial point, let her continue."

The women in the crowd had grown silent, realizing that something besides just the trial was taking place. They looked back and forth between Xena and their Queen, trying to understand what they were witnessing.

Xena, with a sob in her voice, tried to continue. "The walls I had built around my heart were so thick that I couldn’t let you in, no matter how hard you tried. Seeing Tomi reminded me of how it felt to be in love and to let someone love me. I wanted so much for you to love me like that." Xena collapsed as tears streamed from behind the blindfold.

Gabrielle looked away, no longer able to endure watching Xena suffer, knowing that she was the cause of it. Tomi moved up to take Gabrielle in her arms.

"She’ll be okay. But, she has to realize that she must be open with you, to trust in you. To love you." Tomi murmured words of encouragement to Gabrielle as the young woman clung to her.

Ephany had remained standing, stoically looking down on Xena. She had hoped that the trial would be the keystone in unlocking Xena’s reserves, but even she was having trouble witnessing Xena’s torment.

"Have you anything else to add?" Ephany had carefully chosen her words and the tone of her voice.

Xena raised her hands to her face and wiped them across her mouth. She knew Gabrielle was there. "Please. Yes. That night, when we were sitting there and I was talking to you about Tomi, talking about touching and feeling. All I could think of was you. How special you had become to me. I tried to tell myself that I was only feeling that because I wanted to be with Tomi, but that she wasn’t well enough, but it wasn’t Tomi. I was, and am, in love with you. Even when I was with Tomi I was thinking of you. I think Tomi even suspected that something had changed between us."

Xena licked her lips and gathering what dignity she had left, turned her head to where she knew Ephany was standing. "I’m ready for you to carry out the sentence."

Gabrielle gasped as she pushed back away from Tomi and turned towards Xena. Ephany turned to Gabrielle and grabbed her by the shoulders and starred into her eyes.

Xena struggled to continue between ragged breaths. "I don't want to live anymore. I hurt Gabrielle. The woman I would gladly have died for. And I took her against her will. Because of my own selfish desire. Ephany, please. End this misery." Xena lowered her head.

Ephany released Gabrielle and turned back to Xena. "As you wish."

Xena breathed in deeply through her nostrils and threw her head back and lowered her hands to rest in her lap.

"Gabrielle. Come to me." Ephany commanded as she turned and met Gabrielle eye to eye. Gabrielle stood as straight as she could and carefully walked over to where Ephany was standing. Ephany reached over to the altar and picked up the sacrificial dagger.

"As victim of this crime, it is your right and responsibility to see that justice is served." Ephany handed the dagger to Gabrielle who reluctantly took the weapon into her shaking hands.

Xena lowered her head to speak, unwilling to look up. "Please, Ephany. Don’t make her do it. Please don’t send me to Tartarus with the shame of having been responsible for taking her blood innocence as well."

"Silence! It is her duty. Amazon law requires it." Ephany turned back to face Xena.

"All right Xena. Hear my words before I send Gabrielle to you. There are only two things I wish to say to you. You are only human no matter how hard you fight against it." Ephany motioned to the royal guards to remove the other women from the council chamber.

After the women filed out silently, followed by the royal guards, Tomi and Callima move up behind Gabrielle and helped her to disrobe. Ephany smiled at Gabrielle and motioned her to move next to Xena.

"Now Xena, as Gabrielle prepares to meter out the justice that is befitting the crime, this is the second thing. When a woman is willing to give you their love, be woman enough to take it." Ephany turned and, accompanied by Camilla and Tomi, slipped out the back of the chamber.

Gabrielle, holding the dagger in front of her, stood silently over Xena looking down on the woman she loved with all her heart and who loved her. Gabrielle bent down and with one swift swipe of the dagger cut the ropes that held her hands.

Gabrielle dropped to her knees in front of Xena and lifted her hands up to remove Xena’s blindfold.

"Xena, this is how it should be. You and I together, forever. I love you." Gabrielle looked deeply into Xena’s blue eyes and moved towards her as Xena raised her arms up and around Gabrielle.

"Oh Gabrielle. Gabrielle, I love you more than life itself." Xena murmured softly into Gabrielle’s ear as she held her small lover tightly against her chest. "We will be together. Forever."

© 1997

Comments ? Email me at themiscrya@sbcglobal.net
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