Back to main

Back to PlanetBlood



Previous interview:

[ Man with no name ]
An interview with a Cultist from Blood1 >> January 17th
Kudos to nop [www.gameart.com] for this most excellent logo of a zombie holding a mic!

Section: Cerberus Interview

Welcome once more to The Bloody Interviews. This week we are in the company of a two-headed beast called Cerberus. Cerberus' pass-times include cleaning himself, cleaning up after his son, Cerbrat, and cleaning up The Chosen.

Hello Mr. Cerberus.

*Grunt* *Snort* Phnar! *Grunt*

Thank you for the compliment and yes, it is a wonderful evening. Anyway Cerberus, pleasantries aside, lets start at the beginning. When were you born?

*Wheeze, sniffle* Phaek phranr *Grunt*

Ho ho ho! Well, I asure you that the cat that did it would not have got the preverbial cream! January was a good month to be born in. That would make you, let me see, 539 years old. And you really have kept away the signs of ageing havn't you? What's your secret?

*Sniffle, hrumph* Pherad phrt rufd ruetpr fregt plkea phnrfs *Grunt*

I see, before or after the axe?

*Grunt* *Snort* Plithse phnart yourumnpkh *Grunt, wheeze*

Well that is a truly unbelievable revelation readers. I'm surprised Mr. Cerberus feels at ease to talk about it! Do you get much fan mail Mr. Cerberus?

*Grunt* *Snort* Nezel thje *Grunt*

I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Cerberus. It sounds like it was a fairly traumatic time for you then. How did you cope?

*Grunt* Trhudns dajiw dsahjpiw pwkioaf sjg!! *Grunt, retch*

I didn't mean to be insulting. . .

*Grunt* Thio asdop wdakj adsal ppdajklas dj fdsaf eafdashjuafds pohj!

Okay, lets be civilized about this. . .

*Grunt* *Snort* PHJW WADHSAJ WIADKJS FAEJNSD WAIjDSLAJD!!!!!

I understand how you feel Mr. Cerberus and agree now would be a good time to terminate our interview. But frankly, I'm not interested in a wrestling match "right here, right now" and you can keep your two-headed blapshemes to yourself, mmkay?

Sorry about that outburst from Mr. Cerberus readers, I'm sure you will agree that he over-reacted. Anyway, next week. I havn't decided who I shall be interviewing just yet, but stay tuned!

- mugwum