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    Xerox. The OriginalXerox. The Original
    09 December 2005


    Food for Thought

    JUST BLAME THE HEAT



    By Justice malala

    If the police had an iota of intelligence, they would be scouring Boksburg video shops right now

    *** Thomas Maxwell Kitchen

    Shop 8, 140 11th Street, Parkmore
    Tel: (011) 784-1575

    ***** The Italian Job

    **** Got the dough, now run boy run
    *** It's nearly in the bag, but there is a double-cross waiting

    ** Don't try this at home

    * Go straight to jail

    The Democratic Alliance, indefatigable questioners that they are, have asked government to investigate the possibility that the rash of cash-in-transit heists in and around Gauteng could be the work of current or former SA National Defence Force (SANDF) members.

    "The almost daily shootouts between criminals and the police are threatening to turn Johannesburg into Africa's own Baghdad," said DA MP Roy Jankielsohn, no doubt looking over his shoulder in case a stray bullet was about to familiarise itself with his leg.

    I am happy to provide an answer to the DA's conundrum. It is not the members of the SANDF who are terrorising these poor cash companies and the yummy mummies doing their Christmas shopping at Woolies, Rosebank. It is movie lovers. To be specific, it is lovers of the Robert de Niro movie, Heat, who are responsible for these dastardly acts.

    In the movie, De Niro, pursued by a cop played by Al Pacino, puts together a crack team to pull off a cash heist. They bash a truck into a cash-in-transit van and run off with the dosh.

    Since its release seven years ago, the movie has become legendary in crime circles. In a court case in the late 1990s, one of our homegrown baddies confessed that part of his gang's planning process had been to watch the movie over and over and over again. I don't blame them, you understand. It's not art, but it is a lovely flick.

    And it is not just in our lovely country that the great works of De Niro have made an impact. In 2003, in the Colombian city of Cali, 18 masked robbers drove a bus directly at an armoured van, stunning the security guards inside and getting away with US$350 000 in cash.

    "It was all over in less than 20 minutes," the BBC reported.

    Well, just last week in Boksburg, a cash-in-transit van was rammed by a stolen luxury car. AK-47 assault rifles and R-5 rifles were used. I don't know how long this took but I am sure the criminals were back home in time for lunch.

    Of course, if the police had an iota of intelligence, they would be scouring Boksburg video shops right this minute to check on who had rented Heat these past few days. But, no, they won't. They would much rather arrest poor Zimbabweans fleeing Thabo Mbeki's good friend up north.

    The problem is that crime has gone off the dinner table agenda. If it had not, maybe safety & security minister Charles Nqakula would be doing something about it.

    So here I am, on a lovely summer's evening, sitting outside and enjoying a crisp glass of sauvignon blanc. My lovely wife and I are with our good friends Jimmy Pavlou and Taryn Lamberti - and we are happy. We are at Thomas Maxwell Kitchen.

    But we are the only people who are happy - there are only two other tables occupied. Where is Johannesburg on such a lovely evening? Why don't more people frequent eateries like this: looking out on to the street, open, well-put-together?

    The majority of South Africans are probably in shopping malls because these are the only places where they feel safe. People like the proprietors of Thomas Maxwell Kitchen deserve praise for opening restaurants on our streets. Al fresco dining is the best kind of dining for our climate.

    We are at Thomas Maxwell because Taryn has had two very good meals there - plus it is in her neighbourhood. But things do not work out so well on our night.

    The moment we arrive we are hit by a strong smell of cooking or cooked fat. It is overwhelming - and unpleasant. This is something that restaurateurs with open kitchens need to be wary of. I am told that it is usually pleasant here, but it was not so on this evening.

    I am impressed by the high ceiling, the exposed brick wall and the table settings and chairs. The restaurant has a certain urban chic feel to it that reminds me strongly of New York. The knowledgeable waiters are a breath of fresh air after my recent bad run of waiters. The sauvignon blanc is nicely chilled.

    But all this is not enough to make it a successful evening. The starter portions are too big (Jimmy and I had salads we could not finish), while my rabbit risotto is way too stodgy. Jimmy and Taryn are not impressed with the mushroom risotto either.

    That said, I will go back to Thomas Maxwell one day - it has huge potential and ambition.






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