Corporate Anthems
Does your company have its own corporate anthem? Lately we've noticed an amazing number of these insanely stupid ditties exist.
Check out this boy band hired by Ernst & Young, or the ghetto fabulous hip hop rappers that PWC snared, or this ode to Sarbanes Oxley. The hired talent (?) who accepted the money to sing such schlock should be ashamed of themselves! Can you imagine the We-Are-the-World, head-swaying, sing-a-long that went on in these recording studios?
You have to wonder what drives a company to commission this kind of schmaltzy corporate cheer, or to think such a thing would be a good idea. These songs can't possibly do anything but injure credibility with customers, scare away recruits, and embarrass employees.
Actually, they are prime examples of the epidemic we call business idiocy. Some marketing manager - after conducting a post-lunch brainstorm in which all the participants must have been asleep - decided to pursue the brilliant idea of a hard-sell, sugar-coated, bubble gum pop anthem to revive morale and inspire the troops. Noble ambitions, perhaps, but there is zero possibility of success here -- because the songs are totally inauthentic. What's even scarier is the countless other business idiots, desperate to conform, who quickly followed suit. Suddenly, there is a whole catalog of cheesy corporate songs.
There are a hundred ways to inspire employees, and songs are probably not one of them. But if you're hell bent on creating a corporate anthem, why not open up a contest to all the musicians inside the company, and have them submit their best attempts? Then have employees vote on the best one. Unless you're based in Wisconsin, they probably won't vote for the cheesiest one. They'll vote for something hip or funny, that they created, that resonates with them.
Check out this ZDNet article for the world's biggest collection of corporate melodies. And if your company has one, please do send it along. They're always good for a hearty belly laugh.
Check out this boy band hired by Ernst & Young, or the ghetto fabulous hip hop rappers that PWC snared, or this ode to Sarbanes Oxley. The hired talent (?) who accepted the money to sing such schlock should be ashamed of themselves! Can you imagine the We-Are-the-World, head-swaying, sing-a-long that went on in these recording studios?
You have to wonder what drives a company to commission this kind of schmaltzy corporate cheer, or to think such a thing would be a good idea. These songs can't possibly do anything but injure credibility with customers, scare away recruits, and embarrass employees.
Actually, they are prime examples of the epidemic we call business idiocy. Some marketing manager - after conducting a post-lunch brainstorm in which all the participants must have been asleep - decided to pursue the brilliant idea of a hard-sell, sugar-coated, bubble gum pop anthem to revive morale and inspire the troops. Noble ambitions, perhaps, but there is zero possibility of success here -- because the songs are totally inauthentic. What's even scarier is the countless other business idiots, desperate to conform, who quickly followed suit. Suddenly, there is a whole catalog of cheesy corporate songs.
There are a hundred ways to inspire employees, and songs are probably not one of them. But if you're hell bent on creating a corporate anthem, why not open up a contest to all the musicians inside the company, and have them submit their best attempts? Then have employees vote on the best one. Unless you're based in Wisconsin, they probably won't vote for the cheesiest one. They'll vote for something hip or funny, that they created, that resonates with them.
Check out this ZDNet article for the world's biggest collection of corporate melodies. And if your company has one, please do send it along. They're always good for a hearty belly laugh.
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