the bisexual struggle

By Olamide Makinde, LGEP Legal Intern

March 2005: In this progressive day and age the lesbians are finding their voice, the gays are finding true expression. Where does the average bisexual find him or herself?

The term bisexual brings with it too many misconceptions and false ideologies. It is a word that many people would not like to be associated with and do not fully understand.

Bisexuality is simply sexual, emotional and social attraction to individuals of both sexes.

Many people are either a hundred percent gay or lesbian and are drawn sexually and emotionally to partners of the same sex whilst others, heterosexual, are drawn only to the opposite sex. A number of people do not fit into any of this category.

In the 1940and 50s, Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues conducted interviews with approximately 20,000 men and women. He urged a reconsideration of the sexual categories. His view was the labels "homosexuality" and "heterosexuality" did not adequately describe most people's sexual preference. Kinsey viewed homosexual and heterosexual behaviours as parts of a continuum.

'The Kinsey scale of zero to six was developed by sex researchers, with heterosexual people at zero and homosexuals at six on the scale. Individuals who fall between one to five are bisexual.People who fall at one or two on the scale have primarily heterosexual sexual and affectional relationships and desires, but have some attraction and experiences with the same -sex partners as well. People at three on the scale are approximately equally attracted to other men and women. People at four and five on the Kinsey scale choose primarily same - sex partners, but are not completely gay or lesbian and have some heterosexual tendencies and relationships as well."(McIntosh 2004).

There are several myths surrounding bisexuality the most common is that bisexuals are fiendishly focused on sex and need to be in a relationship with both a man and a woman. Leading to the myth that bisexuals are incapable of having a committed relationship. The issue of monogamy is not isolated to the bisexual community; this is an issue that is addressed in both the hetro and homosexual community. Some bisexuals are committed to monogamous relationships and some are celibate. The decision to be celibate or monogamous or polygamous rests within the individual.

Many misconceptions about bisexuality are perpetuated by the media as it has the tendency to trivialise bisexuality presenting it as a cheap pornographic fantasy of threesomes and orgies. In "Bisexuality- what is" by Samantha Straf, describes the stereotype as the "hot bi babe" once heterosexual men know that you are bisexual they think it should automatically lead to a threesome.

Even in media orientated for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people bisexuals are often portrayed as neurotic fence-sitters with deep emotional conflicts caused by the denial of their homosexuality Eliason believes the reason for this confusion is the denial of their true sexual orientation because they are afraid to come out or unable to choose. Some people form other identities after they identified as bisexual, the fact that there are people that do have a stable bisexual identity disproves the stereotype of bisexuals being confused.

It is a proven fact that there is a transitional model of bisexuality, where homosexuals use this sexual orientation as a passage point to achieve true identity. This in no way makes bisexuality a lesser authentic sexual orientation for others bisexuality represents a genuinely equal attraction to both sexes or attraction to both with a preference for one over the other. In Eliason's 1996 study, 41% of current lesbians at one time identified as bisexuals, where 76% of current bisexuals once identified as lesbians, this goes to show that sexual identity changes during the one's lifetime.

In Gay Lesbian and Bisexual Identity Over the Lifespan, 1995 by Fox, points out that the common view of bisexuals as confused is more the result of society's polarization into gay and straight than anything inherent in the bisexual identity," "Bisexuality was thought to be a transitional experience and identification, whereas, in reality, it can be endpoint, phase or a place of recurrent visitation."

Eliason believes the reason for this confusion is the denial of their true sexual orientation because they are afraid to come out or unable to choose.
In several writings bisexuality has been regarded as'vogue sexuality', the use of such terms only cheapens it as identity making it look like a fashion trend and opens it to trivialities.

The bisexual identity has always been lumped with the homosexual identity, when this is done it minimises bisexuality and keeps the emphasis on the homosexual side of the equation. As gay and lesbian groups only just began to add bisexuality into their organisational names in the last ten years therefore there is still a lot of work needed in order to clarify the misconceptions and confusion of bisexuality as a separate and genuine sexual orientation.
Many bisexuals complain that they feel like outsiders in both the straight and queer community. This is due to the fact that bisexual's do not fully belong in any one of these communities. They face biphobia which is that they are shunned by both the gay and straight world. Some homosexuals view bisexuality as weakening the lesbian and gay movement as it in some way contradicts the "born gay" issue. Many gays and lesbians have worked hard for the legitimacy of this issue and feel that bisexuals discredit this theory by the choosing of their partners.
Many gay men feel that bisexual men are really gay and are in denial and some heterosexual men are homophobic and fear and hate bi (bisexual) and gay men.
Some straight women reject bi men because of misguided fears that they have HIV/AIDS, bi women are distrusted by lesbian women for they are perceived to be betraying to women's struggle and that they will be left for a man and straight women fear they will be converted.

It is important to come out as being bisexual for the identity to receive political action and acceptance by all. The denial of bisexuality has done more harm than good. It has created fear in both bisexuals and the homosexual world. Closeted bisexuals act straight in the straight world and gay in the homosexual world. This only confuses the sexual lines as many lesbians will tell you that they were once in a relationship with another "lesbian" and then found out later in the relationship that she was pregnant; such situations arise when bisexuals are not free or comfortable within their society to claim their identity. Through coming out a visible and proud bisexual community may grow and protect the essence of bisexuality which is to see beyond the gender stereo types, the old labels and conditionality see an individual that is free in his or her sexual decisions individually.

Bisexuality challenges concepts of sexuality, traditional relationship, family structures, monogamy, gender and identity. Bisexuals cannot conform to the ethics of either the gay or straight world. As sociologist Paula Rust says in her forthcoming anthology for counsellors of bi clients, bisexuals are often the pioneers in new forms of relationships and deserve support for that courage, not condemnation.

National Consortium of directors of LGBT Resources in Higher Education.

Eliason, M.J. (1996), Identity Formation for Lesbian, Bisexual, and Gay Persons: Beyond a "Minoritizing View.

Samantha Star", Journal Straf, Bisexuality- what is it?, 1998

Fox, R.C. 1996, Bisexuality in Perspective, A review of theory and research.

Prof Elna McIntosh, Ph.D.,M.P.H.,D.Ed 2005

NOTE: These are my views and, does not represent the mandate or the views of the Equality Project.