These days, according to Internet gadfly Guy Kawasaki, you're supposed to "eat like a bird and poop like an elephant." OK. Just don't drink like a Third World debt expert and poop on an airline food cart, like Gerard Finneran (of course, since it was a United Airlines food cart, how could they tell?). Finneran is the poster boy for "airline rage," proof that after fighting traffic to the airport, circling madly for a parking space, waiting in long lines to check in, dealing with surly X-ray goons, slogging to a distant gate, battling for overhead baggage space, wedging yourself into a tiny seat beside a sweating fatty, sitting idle on a jammed runway, breathing stale germ-ridden air, having a rude stewardess tick off a long list of things they won't let you do, and then playing knee-hockey with the seatback of the twerp in front of you for six hours, maybe you shouldn't have that 12th drink.

This comes on top of road rage, the result of funneling far too many cars onto broken, antiquated roads clogged by aggressive greaseballs, double parkers, businessmen screaming into cell phones, jabbering housewives, near-blind oldsters, '60s Detroit beaters belching blue smoke, an endless flood of view-blocking SUVs, and culture-clash foreigners whose language has no English equivalent of "slow drivers stay right."

Then there's phone rage, caused by voice-mail-jail, cell phones that fade away or can't roam, "it's-not-our-problem" problems when something breaks, overly complex features nobody can figure out on the office system, cloning, telemarketers, brain cancer, and piles of government surcharges on your bill.

Recently, however, British researchers have identified a nasty new malady—technology rage. According to a study done by the National Opinion Poll (NOP) and Symantec, half the working population have experienced PC trouble that makes them abuse their colleagues, scream, hit their computers, or throw things at them. A quarter of these experience such problems weekly or daily.

We're decades into the computer age. Today's desktops are 200 times faster than the original PC, but they crash far more often and still take way too long to reboot. Buggy software eats data and requires maddening workarounds. Most businesses won't invest in robust redundancy or good IT services, and simply shrug off periodic network crashes.

Even big mission-critical systems hiccup. We rely on the Internet, and need to be able to sell a stock, charge a purchase, place an auction bid, or buy the remaining inventory from a supplier without worrying that the whole works will gum up. Which it does all too frequently.

Worse, the human interface on most technology stinks. Engineers grumble that users don't read the manuals, when instead they should be creating wizards and aids to help people use all this tricky stuff.

The stress shows up in odd places. People who'd never utter an impolite comment in person will flame everyone around them with vulgar, incendiary ragemail after wrestling with busted, buggy, all-thumbs technology all day. Do you blame them?

Much of the problem is inadequate infrastructure. Nobody likes traffic jams—on the road or on the Net. A TV commercial for DSL shows a town where everyone on a shared cable modem network greets each other in the street with a snarled "log off!" How much of your life is spent staring at an hourglass or waiting for slow Web screens to load? Too much.

This would all be mildly amusing, except that the NOP/Symantec study said that 57 percent of the problems resulted in a loss of productivity. Since vendors aren't going to make things easy for anyone, the best advice is to invest in proper infrastructure, IT, and training. And stay off the food carts.

paul_somerson@ziffdavis.com