The TCS Chat Room is an interactive forum in which people interested in TCS (Taking Children Seriously) can find out more. It is a place in which TCS parents can give and get support, and a haven from the idea that parental coercion is necessary, right and good. Drop in any time and chat informally with other TCSers or come for one of the scheduled topic chats (see below). Those new to the ideas of Taking Children Seriously, as well as those who are more familiar with the ideas, are welcome. Come and enjoy the friendship of other TCS people in real time.
Please do not take anything that is said in the chat room as being “authoritative” about TCS. And please note that you should consider the chat room to be a public place and not say anything you would not wish to see published elsewhere later. This is because anyone who is in the chat room could be logging (recording) the chat and we have no control over that.
We'd really appreciate it if you would use the same nick (nickname) each time you use the chat room. Please pick one appropriate to you and register it.
Please use the room for its intended purpose.
Do not use the room for other purposes unrelated to TCS discussion.
We do expect a certain amount of general socializing which may not be on-topic, but in general, if you could keep in mind that this is primarily for TCS-related chat, and retain some on-topic content, that would be appreciated. Please use another chat room if you want to engage in very personal or prolonged off-topic chat.
Do not disrupt TCS-related discussions.
Do not engage in meta-discussion, that is to say, discussion about discussion: discussion about, for example, what is an appropriate topic of conversation in this forum, what is an acceptable tone to adopt, and the like.
Please keep it friendly.
This is a supportive forum and hostility is not welcome. If you have fundamental criticisms of TCS ideas then we would like to hear about them on the TCS List, but not in the chat room.
Do not harass the ops. These people are putting a great deal of effort into keeping the chat room going, and we should all be very grateful to them, not give them a hard time.
Please try to avoid violating children's privacy or confidences.
Try not to ask very personal questions which may solicit more information than it would be wise to give in a public forum.
Hypotheticalise if possible, but don't let that be what stops you from coming to the chat room. It can be difficult in this forum, we know. Just think of this as a public forum despite its cosy feel, and consider your words accordingly.
We reserve the right to ban people who persistently violate the TCS Chat Room Guidelines.
Please read the Guidelines above.
This chat room uses IRC (Internet Relay Chat) which you can access using IRC client software. If you don't have the software, first download IRCle (a shareware IRC client for Mac users) or mIRC (a shareware IRC program for PC users).
Launch the program, then create a nickname for yourself, such as your first name, and enter irc.tcs.ac as the server.
Go online and type the command /msg nickserv register password (use a password of your choice).
The name of the chat room (or channel) is #TCS. Type the command /join #TCS and you should find yourself in the TCS Chat Room!
There is more detailed setup information below (Mac/PC). You may contact us at tcs-chat@TCS.ac for more specific or personal help to find the chat room.
Check this page for details of up-coming scheduled chat topic sessions. These are the best time to visit the chat room in the first instance. Failing that, there is usually someone in the chat room at —
See you all there!
When you first start up the program, you should see at least three windows, one entitled “Console”, one entitled “Inputline” and one entitled “Connections”. In the Connections window, there are various buttons at the bottom, and (in the main part of the window, a list of numbered connections with “ircleuser” under “Nickname” with various server names (like “irc.xyz.net”) under “Servers”. Highlight the first in the list of potential connections (Nr. 1) and click on the “Edit” button below. Choose a nickname for yourself such as your first name, and enter it in the “Nickname” field. Enter the same thing in the “Username” field. Enter your real name in the “Real name” field. Ignore the password field. Click on the “Select” button next to “Server”, click on “Add”, choose “None” in the “Network” section and type irc.tcs.ac in the “Server name” section. Click on OK. Go to the File menu and down to “Save preferences”.
Now, online, in the “Connections” window, highlight the line you have just edited into a personal connection to the irc.tcs.ac server (Nr. 1, presumably) and hit the “Connect” button.
Read what it says in the Console window. If you have chosen a Nickname which is already in use, you will have to choose another, but if not, type the command /msg nickserv register password (use a password of your choice). Then type the command /join #TCS and you should find yourself in the TCS Chat Room!
Then (you can do this while connected and in the chat room if you like) again go back to the connection Nr. 1 that you are using and hit “Edit”. Then go to the “Autoexec” part and in the box there, paste in the following, replacing “password” with your password:
/msg nickserv identify password;/NOTIFY myfriends;/join #TCS
Then go to the Misc./CTCP part and type in your email address and, say, your name and web site or something, in the CTCP USERINFO reply field.
Then save the preferences again.
Now, next time you connect with that connection you have created, you will go straight into the TCS chat room. If you have not changed the Autoexec stuff as suggested above, you will be required to type in
/msg nickserv identify password
every time you go onto the irc.tcs.ac server. We set it up that way so that people can't impersonate others for any length of time without their consent.
Connect to the Internet.
Open mIRC.
Close the info box on the author, if it appears.
A window with mIRC options appear (if not, click File/Options in the menu bar).
In the options menu, fill in your details.
At the top of the menu, you have a box labeled IRC Servers; click on the button on the right that says ADD.
A dialogue box appears: in the Description field put whatever you want (such as TCS Server); in the IRC Server field write irc.tcs.ac; in Port(s) write 6667. The rest can be left blank. Click Ok.
In the box where the servers are listed (second box from the top), pick the one you've just created (the name you wrote in the description field) and then click the button that says Connect to Irc Server.
After connection a window appears with a list of channels.
Ignore the channels and type in the text box (top of the window): #TCS.
Click on the button Join and there you are!
The program keeps your configuration, so next time you'll only need to press the connection button and choose the TCS channel.Check here frequently for additional chats or changes throughout the month, and should you have any requests for future chats, please email us at TCS-chat@TCS.ac giving as much detail as possible, and we'll try to honour your request.
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Friday, June 2/Saturday June 3
0000hrs UTC/GMT |
Money in a TCS FamilyDo you have to be rich to satisfy everyone's preferences? Are you or your children in a state of coercion about money? About your job? Children typically have no access to money, except for what is given them by their parents. Let's talk about how TCS families can find common preferences about money. |
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Tuesday, May 30/Wednesday May 31
1700hrs UTC/GMT |
TCS With PreschoolersJoin us for a chat about any concerns you may have about TCS with preschoolers. Many parents have TCS leanings when their children are babies, but then start thinking in terms of coercion as the child grows older. Some parents worry about whether or not to honour their children's choices in regard to school attendance, dietary choices, bed times, and a host of other things. Others feel the need for support in their TCS endeavour and arguments against the usual balderdash spouted by most so-called experts in the parenting/education sphere. Join this chat for a breath of fresh air! |
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Saturday, May 27/Sunday May 28
2100hrs UTC/GMT |
TCS in a non-TCS WorldSome TCS folks have deep theories about TCS living in a non-TCS world. If you are interested in discussing ways of coping and strategies, join us for this chat. |
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Wednesday May 24/Thursday, May 25
0200hrs UTC/GMT |
Children In FilmAre there movies you have seen with depictions of the treatment of children that you found particularly interesting from a TCS perspective? Let's talk about some of them. These can be positive, or negative, or just things that prompted you to think about issues a little differently. Try to come to the discussion with several of these films in mind. Or just come to see what others have come up with. We'll probably all come away from with this with some new perspectives (and items for our lists of videos to rent)! |
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Sunday, May 21/Monday May 22
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TelevisionWhy TCS children have unlimited 24 hour access to television, and why TV is a very important thing for children. If you are worried about television or its alleged effects, this is the chat to come to. |
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Thursday, May 18/Friday May 19
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Medical MattersWhat should one do about medicines and other potentially coercive medial matters? Is there a non-coercive way to give injections? Is coercion inevitable in hospitals? TCS says not! Find out what we advocate and why. How TCS parents can protect their children from coercion at the hands of well-meaning doctors and nurses. Come to this chat to get support in your TCS endeavours in this sphere. |
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Monday, May 15/Tuesday May 16
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TCS with TeenagersAre teenagers really human? TCS says yes. Join us for a chat about TCS with teenagers (let's hope some teenagers join in the chat!). This is your chance to raise any particular issues of particular interest in relation to the teenage years. |
| May 12 |
Food Issues and TCSMany people in our culture have terrible problems in this sphere. How can we avoid causing the same irrationalities in our children? What does TCS advocate in relation to children's dietary choices, and why? What about health? What about mental health?! The “vicious circle” of coercive parenting leading to hideous irrationalities about food and eating has got to stop here. Come to this chat to get support in your TCS endeavours in this sphere. |
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Tuesday, May 9/Wednesday May 10 |
Child-proofing: Prudent or Paranoid?Child-proofing can save babies' lives, so why is TCS against child-proofing for older children? And why does TCS advocate facilitating even preverbal children's explorations (safely) rather than using child-proofing to restrict their access to potential dangers and risks? |
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Saturday, May 6/Sunday May 7 |
Children Choosing Coercion?What if they choose coercion? What if they want to do something that is in most circumstances for most children, coercive — such as going to school, attending militaristic martial arts classes, and the like? |
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Thursday, May 4 |
Switching to TCSIs it too late to change to TCS? What should I expect? Why is it so hard? Why it gets easier. Why we TCS people are all in the process of “switching to TCS.” Why it matters. |
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Sunday, April 30th/Monday May 1st |
Property Rights and TCSFor all those issues connected with property rights — Why is making children share their things a mistake? Why is making children pay restitution for damage to another person's property a mistake? If making children pay is a mistake, why does TCS advocate offering to pay restitution oneself? Why won't TCS result in spoilt brats with no respect for other people's property? Why won't TCS result in selfish spoilt brats who lack generosity? What's so good about property anyway? Why can't we all just share everything? Why does TCS say that shared ownership can cause problems? |
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Saturday, April 29/Sunday April 30 |
Housekeeping and ChoresHow are housekeeping, chores, and home maintenance handled in a TCS family? How does anything ever get done in the absence of either coercion or self-sacrifice? How can we think about these things is ways that will still allow the family to function? |
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Wednesday, April 26/Thursday 27 |
Family FinancesHow can we think about money and expenses in the TCS family? What are some ways to deal with this aspect of family life that can work compatibly with TCS? Do you have to be rich to be a TCS family? |
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Monday, April 24/Tuesday 25 |
Creating new knowledge — Being Creative in Parenting |
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Saturday, April 22/Sunday April 23 |
Taking Ourselves SeriouslyDo you take yourself seriously? One common mistake in parents striving to make their relationships consent-based is that they forget that TCS requires us to take ourselves seriously too, not just our children. If you are feeling overwhelmed, or resentful or that you don't have enough time for yourself, you may be failing to take yourself seriously. |
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Wednesday, April 19 |
Non-coercive DivorceIs it possible for a couple to divorce non-coercively? So that parents and children are all in agreement? How is this done? How can these issues be thought about? |
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Monday, April 17/Tuesday April 18 |
Sharing Theories with ChildrenHow can we best share our theories with our children in a way that is not trying to manipulate them or to just get them to do what we want? How do TCS parents go about creating the kind of environment in which discussion and criticism is a regular part of the parent-child exchange? (Debra will host.) |
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Saturday April 15 |
TCS with Babies and ToddlersTalk about the practice of TCS with children who are often too young to communicate their preferences verbally. |
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Wednesday, April 12 |
Siblings working togetherThis is a time to talk about dealing with what is commonly referred to as “sibling rivalry.” This is an opportunity to talk with other TCSers about conflicts and problems that arise between siblings in a family, and how a TCS parent can think about those things and respond in helpful ways. |
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Monday, April 10 |
Non-coercive NursingBreast-feeding is an area that is often ripe for self-sacrifice on the part of the mother to creep into the picture. How can we create an establish a non-coercive nursing relationship with our babies and toddlers that is truly one in which both mother and child can truly thrive and that is free of both coercion and self-sacrifice? |
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Saturday, April 8 |
Housekeeping and ChoresHow are housekeeping, chores, and home maintenance handled in a TCS family? How does anything ever get done in the absence of either coercion or self-sacrifice? How can we think about these things is ways that will still allow the family to function? |
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Wednesday April 5 |
Non-coercive MarriageMarriage is traditionally a coercive institution. Is it possible to be married and have that be a relationship that is autonomy-respecting of both individuals involved? How is that done? How can we help our marriages to be more non-coercive and more autonomy-respecting? |
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Monday April 3 |
Family FinancesHow can we think about money and expenses in the TCS family? What are some ways to deal with this aspect of family life that can work compatibly with TCS? Do you have to be rich to be a TCS family? |
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Saturday April 1 |
Sharing Theories with ChildrenHow can we best share our theories with our children in a way that is not trying to manipulate them or to just get them to do what we want? How do TCS parents go about creating the kind of environment in which discussion and criticism is a regular part of the parent-child exchange? (Debra will host) |
Last modified May 24, 2000
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