Hey Uncle
I keep getting invited to Christmas parties but, I really don't want to go. There is the office party and all of my friends are having parties.  

It isn't that I don't celebrate the holidays, I just don't feel comfortable with all these people around.

I get really anxious with so many people.  I just become overwhelmed and begin panting for air.  It feels as though everything is closing in on me and I can't breathe.   

I've told my friends that I don't think I will go this year, and now they are mad at me.  They say I'm being selfish if I don't come to their parties.  I try to tell them that it is just their function but anywhere where there are a lot of people.

What do I do?
(signed) Scared

Dear Scared,
Anxiety is a terrible thing, my heart goes out to you.  The fear of crowds is called agoraphobia and can be treated. Most good therapists can help you cope with large crowds and I hope you do get some help.  Not just for things like holiday parties, but for all of your social interactions.

Even if you get to a therapist today there is not enough time for you to overcome your anxiety before any of these events, so let's look at the greater issue.

Your friends are being selfish and unsupportive in expecting you to go somewhere that will make you feel ill. If you feel uncomfortable, don't go.  It is that simple.  But, once the holidays are over see a therapist.  

Once you have overcome your anxiety attacks you will be surprised how much fun parties and big events can be.

©365Gay.com 2005