Safety Planning

For those in an abusive relationship:

Prepare far in advance of breaking the relationship
Save money & hide extra clothes for self & children in a friend's house
Make extra set of House keys, car keys, other keys
Communicate openly with trusted relatives, friends, health professionals & attorneys
Keep evidence of physical abuse
Ripped clothes, photos of bruises & injuries
Keep important documents at a safe place - birth certificates, school record, insurance papers & medical records
Keep crisis line number & do not hesitate to use 911
Immediately drive to police station of abuse occurs
Keep the phone numbers of local domestic violence shelters and programs

For those who are out of the relationship:

Your protection order (restraining order) should be with you at all times
A copy of your protection order should be with a trusted friend and/or the local police department
Inform anyone who cares for my children who can pick them up
Change the locks on the doors
Know the hotline number to the domestic violence program in case I need to talk
Talk with your children about ways to stay safe

For your emotional support:

Attend a support group or Halaqa to build fellowship
Have someone to talk to when you feel down, this can even be a domestic violence hotline the national domestic violence hotline 1-800-799-7233
Pray & meditate
Determine safe ways of dealing with your spouse, (i.e. having third parties present, utilizing neutral places, etc…)
Write a letter to your abuser expressing your feelings over the abuse and throw it away
Know that you are not alone

If you have been depressed for an extended time you may need to seek additional help. Any domestic violence program can refer you to the appropriate resources.

Resources:
M. Basheer Ahmed, Presentation on Family Violence, ISNA DV conference 2000
Every Home A safe Home, NCADV booklet