POP/CHART

An enduring presence on the pop scene, boy bands and girl bands wax and wane in their popularity. But just when you think they're being replaced by power ballad goddesses, the Pussycat Dolls get on the scene, Take That get back together, Sugababes take a new member, the Spice Girls start talking a reunion tour and Girls Aloud buy some new frocks.

The one thing in common that most boy and girl bands have is the ability to dance quite simple routines, rather than to sing. And they don't play instruments, or even pretend to (for that, see "rock" bands). Plus they are quite clearly not the ones pulling the strings - no matter how big you get, your producer will be raking in a higher salary, whilst you're sharing your bit of the dosh with the other four (unless you're Gary Barlow and cannily snare some song royalties too).

The musical quality of bands in this genre varies widely: there are those who could easily just be one singer surrounded by dancers (Pussycat Dolls), and those who cover songs where one person managed to sing the whole thing in the previous incarnation; see Girls Aloud. But what's better, for a girl band to have significantly different voices, sometimes fighting like sparrows in a hedge for your ear, (the Sugababes), or to all roll into one anonymous blend (Girls Aloud again)?

Those who set the precedent in the UK were the Spice Girls and Take That, for being enduringly successful over a number of years. This took auditioning behind closed doors, and character. Lots of it. If Take that didn't have character before they started, they built it by spending some time on the gay circuit before breaking into the mainstream. Yes, the gay scene is where it's at - the place to start and to end your career. Only the gay scene could forgive Geri Halliwell her latest foray into music before getting pregnant. And speaking of character, the Spice Girls, like the Seven Dwarfs, were handily labelled and dressed so you knew who had which main characteristic - with the exception of Posh, who was not so.

The usual criticisms of such bands are summed up below:

"They don't write their own songs, they can't play any real music, they dress as tarts, they can't really sing..." all of which in different quantities, can be true. But to think it's about the music is SO naïve. The success of girl groups nowadays relies not only on getting into the charts but their being photographed getting out of cars, falling over, rowing in night clubs, and at airports with sunglasses. Plus pictures in Celeb mags, captioned "They're fat! They're thin! They're spotty! They're rowing with their footballer/boyband boyfs!"

The boys don't get off scott free either. Repeatedly rolled out on "TV's Most embarrassing Moments" is BoyZone's opening moment of glory - on the Late Late show in Ireland they hopelessly lolloped about to a hit of the day, with the premise that they were going to be Ireland's answer to next Take That. Irish balladeers Westlife are more of a man band now, with Brian Mcfadden leaving to carve out a solo career, (sadly not quite making it into Real Talent): but the Irish grannies, moms and daughters are still buying the ballads in their truckloads, so this band could run and run. But other than being a mumsy, stool sitting band, the boy band can also take the lead from original chavs East 17, and throw some shapes looking well'ard, in the style of Blue, Five, Backstreet Boys and N'Sync. Rockin'.

See also:
Wikipedia: boyband

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Now a worldwide phenomenon, the talent contest on TV is no new concept; "New Faces" was one of the first in the 1970s, unearthing such talents as Victoria Wood and Lenny Henry. But the reality TV which has taken over terrestrial and digital screens every evening has spawned a monster. Remember that lovely singer on "The Cruise", Jane McDonald? Well, her offshoot programme, "Star for a Night", on Saturday evenings in 1998 launched the career of Joss Stone (see True Talent).

But aided by bigger budgets, more audience interaction, and meatier recording contract prizes, music talent contests have really come into their own. The daddies have to be "Popstars", "Pop Idol", "Pop Stars (the Rivals)" and now, with no age limit, 'cos pensioners can be pop stars too, "The X Factor". All series follow a broadly similar format, which was originally conceived by pop impresario Simon Fuller. The format has translated well overseas, with American Idol spawning the career of Kelly Clarkson. The series open with the charismatic judges, now stars of the show in their own right, going around the country to hold open auditions. A popular phase in the show, these range from cringingly addictive to virtually un-watchable, as contestants such as "Chicken Man", plus that early performance from a now transformed master of cheese, Darius. And over and above the contestants another reason to tune in is the ongoing feuding and dramatic behaviour of the judges. 

Second phase means that those successful in the regional heats come to London, their numbers to be narrowed down week by week. Singing live, shortened versions of classic tracks, viewers watch the judge's sometimes harsh, sometimes effusive verdicts; and then vote for their favourites, and tune in later in the evening to find out who's been turfed out.

The BBC attempted a more rounded version of a talent show series, called Fame Academy, which didn't broadcast early auditions (boo). It also differed by including training and master classes from the likes of Shania Twain and Daniel Bedingfield , plus songwriting classes from "Genie in a Bottle" writer, Pam Sheyne. The show launched the careers of winner, Cornish ex-clown Alex Parks, and loser in the show but not in life,  R 'n' B Lite legend Lemar.

Winning a TV contest against thousands of others is no guarantee of success. A number of winners of the shows have totally bombed becoming z list celebrities, or finding fame in other ways - for instance celebrity dieter, Michelle MacManus, eventual fizzler Gareth Gates, none hit wonders One True Voice, and many others. With the obvious notable exceptions of Will Young, Girls Aloud, Lemar etc, you could argue that the best use for these shows is to keep the family unit together on Saturday nights and stop us binge-drinking on the high streets.

See also:
Fame Academy
Wikipedia: Pop Idol
American Idol 

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What belters! There are some singers that will always end up on a New Woman compilation, or a Mail on Sunday freebie, and these are they. Anastacia must be congratulated on her consistently earnest hard-done by vids and songs, which often include the "gear change", also a favourite tactic of Westlife. Just when a song sounds like it could be coming to its end, but you feel the need to emphasise that you really, really mean what you're singing about, take it up a notch by repeating the chorus a couple of pitches higher - it works like a charm. The grannies will have tears streaming down their faces, the teenagers will be sitting in their rooms relating, and the housework will get done that little bit faster.

Mariah Carey, whilst desperately attempting to get cool by edging into R 'n' B lite, understands that her bread and butter is with the Middle of the Road ballad - shoehorning a million notes into each syllable with eye-popping finesse. Dido, whilst not exactly a chucker-out of decibels, can mean it with the best of 'em, and Kelly Clarkson feels a world of pain. Joss Stone, a jazz/blues-lite kinda girl, is threatening to take Robbie's crown, hard earned with "Angels" - the ultimate power ballad, loved and destroyed in Karaoke bars all around the world.

See also:
Radio ballads, the enemy that lies within - World Service documentary

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The solo pop singer. There's only one of you, and there's a stage to fill, what does one do? Slap on the slap, grab the pants and wiggle. The rest can be done for you. Sometimes, if you're good, they'll carry you out at the end, just hang on to your mic ... The trend started with those who can dance, kind of, but have sadly left their boy/girl bands behind, such as Rachel Stevens, Justin Timberlake and Geri Halliwell.

Then there are those that can dance very nicely, thank you but until we can clone em, are stuck with others - see Xtina's X-rated videos for more of this (though don't expect to be impressed by her feminist tendencies). The whole MTV revolution in the 80s has deemed this totally necessary - we're now a visual audience. Back in the olden days, if an act couldn't make it to Top of the Pops but they wanted to play the song, house dance troupe Hot Legs would come on and start kicking around for a few minutes.

But today's dancers owe much to Michael Jackson 's "Thriller" style which never really went out of fashion. There has been controversy over singers surrounded by dancers miming in "live" shows, but now it appears to be more widely accepted that if you're going to be jumping up and down in a provocative manner, you might be a bit out of breath to reach those top notes. And we don't want to miss all that jumping.

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This is a tricky genre to define - they're rock, but they're really pop! How did that happen? Well, the music is a little too perfect and slick for rock; the haircuts are a little too carefully styled... it's all rather stylised; English boys singing in American accents about fancying their teacher. But the giveaway is the company they keep and the magazines they appear in; you're more likely to see McFly and Busted in Top of the Pops and Smash Hits than Q or NME.

And punk grrrl, Avril Lavigne, why is she in the pop genre? Because of her nice fans, and her war-torn teenage lyrics. Plus those hair straighteners are not rock. It's a fickle world, and it's not fair, but alas, these bands are not allowed in the rock genre, despite those real instruments appearing to be played... they hear you knockin', but you can't come in.

See also:
Avril Lavigne interviewed on the Top of the Pops site

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The novelty song: it's been around since the beginning of time. Back in the depths there were the lovely groups Chaz & Dave and Black Lace, who sang songs about rabbits, snooker, supermen, pushing pineapples and shaking trees. The appeal of the novelty song is short lived, thankfully, but can sometimes spend more time than desired at the top of the charts because of the dance routines that go with them. Released in the summer time when everyone's in a good mood these are inspired by package deals taken by 18-30 year olds to Majorca: think "Saturday night" by Whigfield, "Hey Macarena", and "The Ketchup Song". 

And for the older people who want some non-contact formation dancing we have "Cotton Eyed Joe", and the once ubiquitous "Achey Breaky Heart".

But it's not just the Europeans who are attracted to this nonsense - over the pond, the song "Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer" sold more singles than "White Christmas" in Christmas 2005. 

Hats off to the annoying thing, the little man with the pixellated penis and the motorbike puttering - Crazy Frog. The first song ever to bombard the public with TV adverts, get virtually no radio airplay, and get to number one on the strength of a ring tone.

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Don't be deterred by the title, some of these popsters are rather good! Taking bits from the streets and making them acceptable to the mainstream has a lot to be said for it.

Mariah Carey has enlisted the likes of some hard nosed rappers to make her more "street" but can't forget her long-haul fans, so balances on a wire between all-out sugary emoting, and breathy girly asides to MCs' macho posturing, complete with hair twiddling and sexy pouting.

And who could be fooled by "Jenny from the Block"'s change in name from Jennifer Lopez to J Lo? Proof if ever there was that she's still in touch with the Bronx. Bling and shiny things sit well with most well-turned out pop artistes.

Black Eyed Peas did it the other way round: they started out as a rap crew, and got Fergie in to provide radio friendly singing and some good looking, which worked. They broke through with "Where is the Love" a wonderful mish-mash of De La Soul type rapping and heartfelt crooning on some pop friendly beats.

And finally, Gwen Stefani's debut album is pure genius, using the classic Madonna trick of hiring in the best talent around to produce each track, giving her a real hip hop/R'n'B feel, innit.

See also:
Radio 1Xtra - R'n'B
Radio 1Xtra - Hip hop
Radio 1 - Urban

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But we couldn't write a guide without mentioning True Talent could we? The choice of artists in this section will always be controversial, but let's just say True Talent means those that have stood the test of time in the super-fast lane of pop: Kylie Minogue and Madonna take a bow! And some TT'ers even occasionally trip into the song writing field, to be taken seriously by those stern magazine types. And we don't mean Smash Hits (RIP).

Robbie Williams got rid of Guy Chambers, the man responsible for most pop stars' initial solo efforts, to make more of a personal mark on his latest album, Intensive Care. Will Young has managed to overthrow the talent contest mantle to become a knowingly camp funkadelic balladeer. Gwen Stefani also had a large hand in writing her own songs, covering subjects ranging from ticking biological clocks to Tokyo fashion. And whilst Michael Jackson has gone off the boil somewhat of recent, no-one can deny his influence on the pop world and the deep talent of the early days. But then, perhaps he truly belongs in Classic Pop.

But they're all talented in their own way aren't they, and long may the messy world of lip gloss, Saturday morning kids' TV and ring tones continue...

See also:
Smash Hits
Top of the Pops
Top of the Pops Reloaded
UK Singles charts - Wikipedia

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