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Mitchell Henderson
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Interesting Fact: This article contains an hero. |
Mitchell Henderson, a 13 year old boy, (died April 20, 2006) was an hero who killed himself over losing an iPod and getting bullied. Mitchell, although an hero, is not included on the NBC hit television series, Heroes.
Ben Vodden became the 'an hero' of 2007...but for info on that, click the link buttfuck
In his wake are hundreds of misspelled comments from his supposed friends. Mitchell's friends believe he was the Messiah and had to die for our sins. Of course we all know that Jesus did that already, so that means Mitchell committed copyright infringement and was a complete waste of semen. Also, please note that his friends can't spell jack shit. They call him "an Hero". Mitch also happened to die on Hitler's birthday.
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4chan parodies
Due to his notoriety on MySpace and the fact that he is "an Hero", the people of 4chan (and most notably /b/) jumped on the bandwagon and created several parody pages, including "Zombie Mitchell". Mitchell's so-called "friends" went and reported it and the Zombie Mitch page is no longer on Myspace. In retaliation, /b/tards posted ShittingDickNipples and Muddy Dicks on the memorial Myspace. Needless to say, there are now many macros with "An hero" ever since.
Someone even went so far as to call his parents' home and leave a message about finding his ipod. A picture of his obituary prompted a /b/tard to search the internet and found his parents RL address and phone number; he posted it all over /b/, but the Mods wouldn't allow it and they took it down. However, it was not before a brave soul known as TheShining called his parents and left a message. "It's Mitch, can you come and pick me up at the Cemetery? Kind of dead here. Oh, where's my iPod at?" Image:Amah.jpg A recording of the call can be found here[1] (NOT FAKE, FO REALZ, like srsly)
On August 9th, /b/ invaded Mitchell's tribute mourning page, once again showing the true face of the internet, and drawing a line between those who deserve the title of anonymous and those who just don't. deceased lulz
Mitchell's death coincidentially occured on the same day as Hitler's birthday and the Columbine massacre. Thus, this trifecta of lulzy events has led April 20th to be known as An hero day.
Other Information
- Mitchell's reason for suicide was that his iPod was stolen and that he had a "bad day" which referred to the song on his myspace. However this is unconfirmed, as according to his friends, "he was so happy, and such a great basketball player."
- Some of Mitchell's friends and family got word that we were making fun of him.
Here's a quote
"to everyone from 4chan who's looking at this page and laughing: gtfo and leave Mitchell alone. it's not funny at all. mitchell was a good person." From *jB* is not a kitten
- Ofcourse they will nevar stop us! WE ARE ANONYMOUS, WE DO NOT FORGIVE OR FORGET, WE ARE LEGION!
RIP Mitchell
Mitchell had a memorial myspace set up by his friends where they left pictures and long, unrelated stories about their experiences with Mitch.
"He was such an hero"
- "He was such an hero, to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he's on our minds. Mitchell was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, Our minds are rubber, our joints don't work, Our tears fall into abyss. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn't his task, He shouldn't have had to go that way, before a decade'd past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. He had courage,that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died a hero, Mitchell did, And we'll love him forevermore. We love you like a brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Mitch. ~Lila"
"JUST STOP MAKING FUN OF MITCHELL LIKE HES SOME SPORT!"
YOU FUCKERS!!! YOU DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MITCHELL!!! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ALL THE PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY KNEW HIM MAD AND SAD!!!! I BET THAT YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF YOUR FRIEND DIED AND WAS MADE FUN OF. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING! JUST STOP MAKING FUN OF MITCHELL LIKE HES SOME SPORT! HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT. I BET THAT IF YOU DIED, AND SOMEONE MADE FUN OF YOU, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT. THINK ABOUT THAT. WHY DO YOU WANT SO BADLY TO MAKE FUN OF MITCHELL? YOU SHOULD GO TO JAIL BECAUSE OF THAT. MITCHELL NEEDS TO REST IN PEACE SO LET HIM REST. EVER SINCE YOU GUYS STARTED MAKING FUN OF HIM, PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN MORE DEPRESSED AND DEPRESSED. IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, YOU MIGHT JUST MAKE SOMEONE DIE. THEN YOU WOULD BE THE CAUSE OF A DEATH. I REALLY HOPE THIS GETS TO YOU BASTARD SO THAT YOU CAN CHANGE AND STOP. WASNT IT YOU THAT WAS TRYING TO GET NAKED PICTURES OF THE GIRLS IN MY CLASS?!!?!?!?!?! when i went to his church to see all the funeral things being prepared, there was a 3 story church filled with people, that people had to go to the basement and watch things on a tv. it was a very big church and just filled with people. there was no room anywhere. and think. you are hurting every single one of them. i sure hope that you guys can reconsider all that you have done, apologize because. i am willing to forgive right now. if you can stop. we would all be happy. cant you find it in your heart to stop and lend a hand? cant you help all these people feel better instead of worse? i really hope that you guys can stop. we all suffered from the loss and we dont need any more greif. please. find it in your hearts to not make fun of mitchell. i didn't realize that the memory was still so fresh. when i first saw this site, i started to cry. i didn't know mitchell as well as others but he was still my friend. i wish that you will delete this site and make another one not to make fun on him but as a tribute and that would be very helpful. [2]
Mitchell is an blink 182 song
- "Mitchell never thought He'd die alone He laughed the loudest who'd have known? He traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all He took his time, He hurried up The choice was His He didn't think enough He Was too depressed to go on We Are All Sorry That He's Gone Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone Mitchell never thought He'd die alone Another six months He'll be unknown Give all his things to all his friends You'll never step foot in his room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time that He spilled the 7up, At Jason's House Please tell His mom this is not her fault Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone He never conquered, rarely came But tomorrow holds such better days Days when He can still feel alive When He can't wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, He'd survived He can't wait till He gets home To pass the time in his room alone --kevin gronseth"
... Interpunction, motherfucker, you use it?!!
Heaven or Hell? No Choice!
As it is when people commit suicide, no one will admit the fact that self pwng lands you an eternity in hell. Thats right folks, he lost his I pod, was bullied, so he doomed himself to eternal damnation in hellfire rather than finishing the game.
"An Hero"
While "an Hero" is regarded as agrammatical by modern English speakers, usage of the quantifier "an" before words that started with a morpheme of the pattern CV that began with a 'h' in the onset was common usage before the 17th century.
But thou complying with thy princely wrath, Hast shamed an Hero whom themselves the Gods Delight to honour ... [Cowper's translation of Homer, about 1790]
Clearly, this implies that Mitchell Henderson and his friends are time travelers from the 16th century, and killed himself over a perceived decline in the English language. More teh gay than 1000 William Safires.
In spite of the obvious similarities, "An Hero" should not be confused with "A Negro" and "A Necro".
NOT "an Hero"
Reasons you are not an Hero:
- You have not lost your iPod
- You have friends that can spell
- You are over the age of 13
- You are still alive
- Your eulogy is not posted on Myspace
- You did not Divide by zero
- You are a furry, but are almostanhero
Imitators
Due to the fame Mitchell Henderson received posthumously for his status as an hero, more teens and preteens are seeking to be recognized in the same way. On August 10th, 2006, Yasmin Browder, an 11 year old, became an hero when she hanged herself when her mom wouldn't let her watch Big Brother. Despite this heroic gesture, Yasmin's heroism is considered to be inferior to that of Mitchell, since iPods are way cooler than Big Brother, amirite?
ASCII
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Hate mail
Sometimes people can't understand satire, and send lulzy bullshit to the people at ED regarding this article.
It seems as though I thought right; the person behind Mitchell's fad is a pedophile. I am not one to believe in karma though. Therefore I do not wish that your adopted child becomes part of an internet fad; I say adopted, because you do not seem to have a scrotum to reproduce.
I just hope that you become a good father. Maybe you can be an assistant fry cook if you continue to work in the fast food business. Then again, I would take a gamble at applying for lead-reindeer once Rudolph passes away. With your nose so red and bright, I doubt you will have any troubles guiding Santa's sleigh.
Then again, you could always be a proctologist since you're feeling Mitchell's scat. That would be beaut!
I will be sure to stay up to date with your MySpace page to know when you come a gutser. :) This way, a little piss can be poured out on your grave.
G'day, mate! - Steve Irwin
See Also
- Jodie Gater and Stephanie Gestier
- Kevin Neil Whitrick
- Wade Steffey
- Budd Dwyer
- Almostanhero
- An Heroine
- Cho Seung Hui
External links
- Leave message for Mitchell - Dead
- The Memorial Myspace (Was originally deleted and was created again under a loving /b/ tard. Twice.)
- [3] Mydeathspace link.
- Yasmin Browder, an heroine!
- An Hallucination
- An Villain_deleted_
- MITCH RIDIN SPINNAZ
- An Hero Rides Again
- An hero on facebook
- Iranians stole my I-Pod!
Categories: 4chan | People | Memes
