caption: i’m in ur documintz / insider tradin’

submitted by: k8, 42

submitted by dan

caption: halp! i is not cheezburger
submitted by: lizz k
cheezburger says: i want to eat him/her or put him in my pocket! mostly the ladder

Thanks to Elfinugget for her submission

Step one: Think of something to say. This is tricky for some people.

We’ll try a simple, common comment to start:

“That’s a really cute cat. And look, he has a bow on his head!”

Step two: “Engrish” it.

1) Mis-decline verbs, especially misuse the verb “to be”
2) Misuse gerunds
3) Overuse prepositional phrases
4) Blatant rearrangement of syntax
5) Incorrect plurals and past-tense verbs
6) “noun” your adjectives. (For instance, the adjective “blue” can become the noun “blueness”)
7) Improper pronouns
8 ) Drop the articles (”a”, “and”, “the”) in favor of adding “-age” to the end of a noun
9) Use “younger” words (”kitty” versus “cat”, “fuzzy” versus “furry”, etc.)
10) Use the word “with” inappropriately.
11) If you really can’t wrap your head around the concepts behind “Engrish”, try this: Go to babelfish.altavista.com, type your desired comment in, hit “english-to-Japanese”, then re-translate back to English. You have to be able to view special characters (the kanji). If you can’t get that to work, try translating to a different, european-text language, like German.

So, we get:

“That being the kitty very full of cuteness. And to be with looking! Him gots bowage on hims head!”

Step three: Misspell everything. There’s no wrong way to do this, just try not to accidentally correctly spell a completely different word (especially one that’s pronounced differently than your spelling intends). Some words (usually short words) should simply remain spelled correctly for continuity’s sake.

1) Think like a little kid / cat / dog / goldfish, and get hukd on foniks
2) I cannot stress this enough: Vowels are your friends! Do not neglect vowels!! We’re speaking LolKitteh here, not text messaging! (My advice: use alternate vowels, Y’s are particularly handy, but don’t overuse them.)
3) Extra W’s and H’s (”awl” instead of “all”)
4) Z’s instead of S’s are easy
5) Double-letters versus single letters are always fun
6) Don’t be afraid to further pluralize things, including your verbs
7) Remember that the word “THE” must always be spelled “TEH”

now, we have:

“Dat beesing teh kiti vary ful ov kutenis. An to bees lukingz! Hims gotz bowwagez on hims hed!!”

Step four: Add exclamations and extra words.

1) Use commonly accepted internet abbreviations. Misspell them if necessary. (LOL = lawlz! ROTFL = rofflz! OMG = omgwtfbbq!?! … etc … )
2) Imagine that you’re actually in a crowd of people and you want everyone to look at this particular picture. Extra exclamations are thus necessary.
3) Think Valley Girl. The words “like,” “totally,” etc can be added. Remember to misspell!
4) Some common statements have been severely abbreviated into one single multi-syllabic word. These are good to use. The best example is “Okay, thank you, good-bye!” Which has been shortened to “kthxbye” (or “kthxbai”)

And, we have:

“OMG wau!! Dat beesing a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! Bees wif da lukingz! Omg him gotz da bowwagez on himz hed lyk WTF?!?”

Step five: Add additional information. This can be the desire to interact with the subject of the photo, personal information, empathetic or sympathetic statements, responses to other posts, etc. Again, nothing right or wrong here, just whatever comes to mind.
Finally:

“OMG wau!! Dat beesings a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! Bees wif da lukingz!! Omg him gotz da bowwagez on himz hed lyk WTF?!? OMG I tewtul wuntz to grabz dat kiti and fuzziez himz awl ovar … him sooooooo mooshy an fullz ov win!! Don werry lil kiti, I no eetz u! I luvz kitiz! I can has bunchiz ov dem! Mah kitiz luvz bowwagez too! YETH!! GIMME!! Kthxbai!”

Remember that all of the above steps are basic guidelines for conversational lol-cat. Some regions do not always rearrange syntax. This a treasure for you. With some practice, you too can be writing (and speaking) in Conversational LolKitteh!

(this class is copyright ELFN 2007, all rights reserved, pliz to be kreditz if u be usingz da verbatumz kthxbai.)

photo: internets
capped and submitted by: Andrea

Update 5/1/2007 @ 4:41pm - Comments closed!

Update 4/25/2007 @ 8:25am - We added a dictionary page check it out here http://icanhascheezburger.com/werdz/

lolfrenz — ar efforts to documents the Lolrus quest via submission to urbandictionary has fail.

They says no! http://add.urbandictionary.com/verify.php?code=57a3e7edcb

Let’s see what you can come up with!

If you need help, enroll in Elfnuggets “Kitteh as a Second Language” course today! LOL!

Add your definition in the comments below for the word “lolrus”. Make sure to vote for ur favorite definitions using the helpful burgerratings … we will keep the comments open for 1 week. (this is an experiment to see how to manage turnamentz)

lolrus (lawl-ruhs) noun

 

any of the collection of pinniped, waterborne animals: sealion, walrus, seal, manatee, and sometimes a dolphin (aka lolphin).

ex. Things took a turn for the worse when someone stole the lolrus’ bucket!

Source: Cheezburger Cat, Cheezburger Land

Your submissions will be subject to the lolfrend turnament submission policy.

capped and submitted by: Lawl Lawlson

I just realized..this little guy looks like a big piece of mochi. ^_^ Mochi ice seal?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mochi_(food)

Update!

Awesome onigiri (OMGIRI) seal pic by Komadori!

(I do not advocate the eating of baby seals covered in powdered sugar or potato starch, or wrapped in nori.)

photo: Junku’s flickr
capped and submitted by: Kitty de Medici

Update 04232007 - 7:27pm:

Top three requests/feedback about the site rede:

1. i ar needz moar font size.
   1. we will be increasing the default font size
2. needs moar space between everythings!
   1. if we can remove the tags on the right and move it to a amazon-ish drop down on the top of the page we can free up lots of space…
   2. What you peeps think? drop down list like amazon? easier to find tags might be better?
   3. tofu and I will put in a experimental drop down for your vote
3. tags need alphabetical sort! FIX IT!

Update 04232007 - 6:10pm:

1. Just got word from js-kit that they featured on techcrunch, they need us to scale back our use of ratings — so I’ve turned it off on posts, but leaving it on for cheezburger-ratings (newish karma). They are growing fast and we have to respect their free service. go js-kit!
2. Also for parents, regarding polite mode — it is disabled while we settle into our new theme, i will be adding it back in as soon as time permits. (gotta retest, etc).

So we’re alive on megacheezserver.

We did a little redesign to make things easier to view on smaller browsers…your opinion matters to us, if you have an idea how to improve things let us know dear burgers, about ur website…

Ratings and burger-kharma burger-rating is here — karma had to take a break, hopefully the js-kit guys will add karma feature soon! thanks to the folks at js-kit for helping us out, if you have a blog and need rating or comment widgets, try em out!

Oh! We also moved back to icanhascheezburger.com so the ratings might be borked … but things will settle … and some exciting things will come now that we have our voting/karma back!

The redesign will probably have flaws and issues, so give us a day or two to shake out things… :).

Thank you for ur patience… let us know in the comments if you love/hate the new design… and make sure to rate peoples comments too :). This is one of the best ways to get everyones attention about what’s good and what’s a spamjammer/flambammer/trolley …

cheezburger = ^ _ O =

p.s. i <3 ichc, thx for being a part of it!

capped and submitted by: Mark