Naming a child after its paternal grandfather is a Greek tradition. Ms Saldana, whose parents are Spanish, said yes. Mr Kapetopoulos seemed a good man with strong family values. Oh, and they fell in love.

Their children will speak fluent Spanish and Greek and the first son will be named Anastasios.

Mr Kapetopoulos, 38, director of Multicultural Arts Victoria, and Ms Saldana, 33, a flamenco dancer, had felt no pressure to marry within their own ethnic group.

Mr Kapetopoulos said that where he grew up in Adelaide the Greek community was scattered and his parents were less religious, city-raised Greeks who didn't insist he marry a Greek. Ms Saldana, raised in Collingwood, said her parents worried that Melbourne's Spanish population was too small for her to have much choice of a spouse and so approved her dating outside her ethnic group.

Parents of many others of their generation want to preserve cultural ties by their children marrying people of the same background. But Mr Kapetopoulos and Ms Saldana say that now their friends are as likely to "marry out" as not, with those "marrying in" doing so for love.

Anthony and Theresa Fakhri of Montmorency, the children of Lebanese migrants, "married in" to their own culture after meeting through the youth group (whose members are young Lebanese-Australians) of the Sacred Heart Maronite Catholic Church in Carlton. "We didn't get married to please our families. We got married because we were in love," Mrs Fakhri said. "I'm sure my parents were over the moon, but that's because Anthony's a wonderful person. It was a bonus that he was Lebanese, for them, because we share the same values."

These couples represent two trends. Second generation Australians - children of migrants - are increasingly marrying people from other ethnic groups. But Australian-born children of Lebanese and Turkish migrants marry within their own culture.

The findings appear in People and Place, the Monash University's Centre for Population and Urban Research journal.

Authors Bob Birrell and Ernest Healy analysed 1996 to 1998 marriage registry data and found that more than 90 per cent of European descendants of second generation migrants married outside their ethnic group.

For example, only 8.7per cent of brides with Spanish parents married grooms with Spanish parents. And the proportion of most European migrants' offspring who "in-married" has decreased since a similar study in 1991-92. More than half of children born to Greek migrants - 57per cent of brides and 56per cent of grooms - marry within their ethnic group, a drop from 1991-92 findings when they were 65.6per cent and 60per cent respectively.

This decline was reversed for couples of Middle Eastern origin. The percentage of grooms of Lebanese origin who in-married increased from 52 to 61 and there was a 2per cent rise (to 74 per cent) of in-marrying for Lebanese-descended women.

Dr Birrell argues that multiculturalism has encouraged intermarriage. He said in-marriage occurred as a "haven from a hostile world" when those of an ethnic background felt disparaged by fellow citizens. But with prejudice officially condemned and greater cultural integration through education and employment, cross-cultural relationships were more likely to occur.

Hass Dellal, executive director of the Australian Multicultural Foundation, said ethnic diversity meant the second generation was less concerned about religion and culture when choosing a mate.

The fact that neighbors might be from Denmark or China, and migrant parents were at least a little educated about other cultures was making parents less apprehensive about "mixed marriages", he said.

As for why Middle Eastern in-marrying is so high, Melbourne University senior fellow Abe Ata - who this year published a book on intermarriage between Muslims and Christians and is from a Lebanese and Palestinian Christian background - said the community was more tightly knit than others, living in specific suburbs and being less likely than others to take part in such mainstream cultural events as Australian football.

Dr Ata said Arabic culture was perhaps so well established, different and intertwined with family activities and values that to date an Anglo-Australian might isolate the Middle Eastern person from familiar supports.

Dr Ata said further clues might be found in a study he conducted 20 years ago which found that sexual permissiveness and family break-ups were factors that Lebanese in Australia most dis-liked about their adopted home.

Australian Arabic Council president Roland Jabbour said Arabs first moved to Australia in large numbers only relatively recently and tended to stick together out of linguistic and cultural necessity, whereas recent Italian immigrants, for example, could rely on support of the large and longer-established Italian community here to help them assimilate. Mr Jabbour said Arab migrants were increasingly Islamic, unlike the 1960s and '70s Christian migrants. "A Muslim is less likely to marry into other cultures than a Christian," he said.

But Victorian Arabic Network community development officer Joumana El-Matrah said it was other Australians who were struggling to embrace Islam and Middle Eastern cultures, and this inhibited intercultural romantic contact.