Same-Sex 'Marriage' and Civil Unions
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Marriage is a sacred, legal, and social union ordained by God to be a life-long, sexually exclusive relationship between one man and one woman. Focus on the Family holds this institution in the highest esteem, and strongly opposes any legal sanction of marriage counterfeits, such as the legalization of same-sex "marriage" or the granting of marriage-like benefits to same-sex couples, cohabiting couples, or any other non-marital relationship. History, nature, social science, anthropology, religion, and theology all coalesce in vigorous support of marriage as it has always been understood: a life-long union of male and female for the purpose of creating stable families.
History and Marriage
Marriage is not an American invention. It has existed as an institution since the beginning of civilization, and thus supersedes our modern laws. Every society at all times has viewed the social norm of marriage as a union of male and female.1 Studies of previous civilizations reveal that when a society weakens the sexual ethic of marriage, it deteriorates and eventually disintegrates.2
Nature and Marriage
Even a casual observation of nature reveals the vital distinctions between male and female and the need that each has for the other. Gender distinctions are not simply an artificial social construct. Men and women are uniquely designed to complement each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Marriage is the means for melding the two sexes into a stronger and more complete whole. Thus while marriage has intrinsic value of its own, a primary purpose of marriage is procreation. Marriage is the best means for producing and raising a healthy and productive next generation. Marriage is also the way soceities protect women from predatory males and socialize men.
Children and Marriage
The optimal environment for raising a child is one in which the child's mother and father are married to each other. Deliberately depriving a child of a mother or a father is not in the child's best interest and is never compassionate. But this is what every same-sex family does for the sole purpose of fulfilling adult desire. On average, when compared with children raised by both parents, children deprived of mothers or fathers fare worse in virtually every measure of well-being.3 The sparse research regarding children raised in same-sex couple households reveals that such children are comparable in well-being to those in single-parent households.4 In addition, children raised by homosexuals are significantly more likely to develop a homosexual orientation themselves.5
Men and women are distinctly different. Each gender brings vitally important - and unique - elements to a child's development. Thousands of academic studies reveal that the presence of a father in the home increases children's cognitive and verbal skills, academic performance, involvement in or avoidance of high-risk behaviors and crime, and emotional and psychological health.6 Our hearts and a wealth of research tell us of the power and importance of the mother-child bond.7
Discrimination and Marriage
We elevate marriage in our laws over other relationships because marriage has proven over millennia to be an obvious societal good. Society provides benefits to natural marriage because natural marriage uniquely provides necessary benefits to society. Marriage law does not discriminate. Marriage is open to any two individuals provided they meet certain criteria regarding age and blood relationship, and provided the individuals are of the opposite sex. All are free to marry under this universal and age-old definition of marriage. Homosexual activists seek not to end discrimination because laws do not preclude homosexuals from marrying. Rather, they seek to completely redefine - and thus undermine - the foundational institution of marriage. And no one has the right to do that. Indeed, some prominent gay activists have gone so far as to state this as their goal.8 This powerful, advantaged, vocal special interest group is seeking not to be left alone, not to be simply tolerated or even respected, but to force its views on the rest of society. They are asking each of us to radically change our understanding of marriage and family. And this new defintion of marriage and family will be force-fed to our children at every grade level. Groups like the ACLU will force churches to perform such "weddings" in order to maintain their tax-exempt status.
Love and Marriage
Those who would redefine marriage often insist that the only necessary qualification for marriage is "love." Yet if one accepts that rationale, then there can logically be no boundaries as to what constitutes marriage; any combination or number of consenting individuals must ultimately gain the same legal and societal sanction as natural marriage. What about bisexuals? Won't they ask to marry members of both sexes at once? While love is vital, it is not the definitional element of marriage. We love many people we do not marry.
Religion and Marriage
The five major world religions, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, and Judaism recognize and uphold the natural, heterosexual understanding of marriage. By contrast, these religions teach that homosexual behavior is sinful or wrong.9
The Bible and Marriage
Marriage is the first institution ordained by God and has served from the beginning as the foundation for continuation of the human race. Genesis tells us that shortly after the creation of the first man, God acknowledged Adam's incompleteness. God then created Eve as Adam's partner, his completer, and blessed their union.10 Jesus underscored the importance and sacredness of marriage in His own teachings.11 The apostle Paul taught that the marital relationship is to be an ongoing demonstration of the sacrificial love that Christ showed His church. In contrast, the Bible clearly proscribes any form of homosexual behavior as sinful.12 As such, it is not and cannot be the basis for a sacred marriage relationship.
Marriage is unquestionably good for individuals and society. It deserves respect and protection. Any efforts to redefine marriage destroy the institution - and ultimately - civil and healthy society. Thus we oppose any government recognition or endorsement of marriage counterfeits, including same-sex unions.