I did it again, Aztecs. My constant quest to find a good time and, in turn, hopefully find myself, has brought me to a place I never thought I’d come to.
Welcome to Sobriety, population: Me.
One of the fundamental life lessons I’ve learned since entering college is accountability.
It’s a lesson that seemingly requires profound levels of maturity and self-awareness, which are two aspects that have been rejected by a few highly-successful professional athletes such as “Sugar” Shane Mosley, Marion Jones and Barry Bonds.
For those of you who haven’t heard, Somali pirates are taking over the world. OK, maybe not the entire world, but parts of it. Expensive parts.
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I most recently had the pleasure of having my butt go numb on the three-hour drive back home in my 1988 Volvo station wagon (with broken springs in the driver’s seat). The tingling cheeks were definitely worth it to return to my star-studded and cultured home of Los Angeles. I’d hate to admit it, but after a few months I start to miss seeing the hoards of girls strutting around Hollywood & Highland like they are on “The Hills.”
Yes, it’s true, I am one of them. I am one of those “Zonies” who migrated here to paradise from the hell-hole that is Arizona. OK, OK, I won’t bash on Arizona too much, I admit there are some pretty parts: There is great hiking, beautiful mountains and landscape, and Sedona is full of the red rock canyons.
It’s a difficult thing, moving to a different country when you’ve just become a teenager. The impetus of the shock of having to live and assimilate into a new culture is not as cumbersome as when you’re an adolescent.
Looking for parking at San Diego State is as maddening as if “Star Wars” was made into an animated TV series based solely on the character of Jar Jar Binks. After almost an hour of demolition-derby-driving and no parking spot in sight, I transform from a preacher of peace and love to a promoter of Social Darwinism. In response to more than three years of wasting precious Wii playing-time circling around parking lots, I’ve devised a plan.