When You Want to Have a Baby...But Can't

Conventional infertility treatments can cause a whole range of problems, including painful side effects, financial strain, and emotional stress. But many would-be parents are turning to yoga for a more natural, effective approach.

By Judith Hanson Lasater

Nothing prepared Maria and Neil for the relief and joy they felt when the voice on the other end of the phone gave them the news: They were pregnant. Maria, 37, a graphic designer, and Neil, the owner of a small restaurant, had been attempting to conceive for five years, trying everything from vitamins to keeping detailed records of Maria's periods and temperature to figure out her ovulation schedule. "This went on for two and a half years," says Neil. "And the frustration just kept growing. Every month our hopes would go up, and every month they were shattered." "It really ate at the core of our self-esteem," adds Maria. "We had constant feelings of inadequacy and inferiority."

An increasing number of couples are living with the devastating effects of infertility. According to the authors of Six Steps to Increased Fertility (Simon & Schuster, 2000), 20 percent of couples in the U.S. are estimated to have fertility difficulties—and those numbers may be underreported. Not only is infertility an emotional drain; it's a financial one. Couples spend billions of dollars in pursuit of pregnancy. In 1999, the newsletter HealthFacts reported that the treatment of infertility is a $2 billion a year industry.

Rather than looking for answers at the infertility clinic or sperm bank, however, couples like Maria and Neil have found their search has ended on the yoga mat. "One day my cousin invited us to a yoga class; she said we could use the relaxation," says Maria. "We loved it. It gave us a break from the stress and helped us focus on being healthy, not just being pregnant." Seven months later, Maria was pregnant.

The birth of their child is living proof that yoga is fertile ground for transformation. Ironically, yoga poses were traditionally used to decrease the sexual energy of practitioners, following the belief that one could transform sexual energy to make it more available for self-realization. Today, however, pragmatic couples are using the practices to increase their chances of pregnancy by lowering stress levels, allowing the energy centered in the pelvis to flow freely, and opening up and softening the pelvic organs.

The Agony of Hope

The causes of infertility range from increased exposure to environmental toxins to a drastic drop in sperm counts. Other factors that can influence a woman's ability to conceive are infection-related scarring in the reproductive tract, hormonal imbalances, thyroid irregularities, poor diet, low body fat, smoking, and excessive drug and alcohol use. Whatever the individual factors, on the whole, infertility is on the rise: The results of a May 2000 study published in Family Planning Perspectives (Vol. 32, Issue 13) reveal that in 1986 approximately 41 clinics in the U.S. offered in vitro fertilization and fertility drugs; by 1996, the number had increased to more than 300.

Beyond the statistics, however, lies the quiet suffering endured by couples trying, unsuccessfully, to start a family. The disappointment, waiting, and what one woman called the "agony of hope" often have devastating effects on a person's self-perception, mental health, and marriage. "One of the worst things was how it affected our intimate relationship," says Jayne, a social worker who was trying to get pregnant for four years. "There was a lot of soul searching: Why was this happening to me? What had I done wrong?"

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