Saturday March 14th, 2009 - Vernon Hills, IL

Oh oh. Youth and all it’s magic is quickly slipping away. Now I’ll have to rely on guile and trickery to get myself over and that’s a scary thought. Today is my 46th birthday and it isn’t going to get any prettier. I’m now officially closer to 60 than I am to 30 and that rots.

My prostate is probably getting ready to swell up like Jiffy Pop popcorn and I can feel an uncontrollable urge to wear shorts and dark socks. I’m thinking of buying a big old giant road yacht like a Buick or a Lincoln and my pants are starting to creep up to my nipples.

Where did the time go? Away, and that’s all that matters. I would have been 46 anyway so at least I made a few good decisions before now but it’s still going to be a challenge to salvage a productive life. I see all the potential that has been wasted and it bothers me.

There’s nothing I can do about the past though and to dwell on it won’t make the future any better. There are still some choices I need to make both for the short and the long run that will determine whether or not I won my own personal game of life. It’s all up to me.

The monkey wrench in all of this is the human factor. We all blow opportunities in life. It’s how a person comes back again and again that determines the winners and losers. I’m the first one to admit I made stupid mistakes and now I need to maneuver around them.

I’m going to keep doing a lot of what I’m already doing but this coming year is one that I think I need to make some significant changes. For one, I want to move so I don’t live in a basement like a spider anymore. It was a good deal for a while and it helped both parties financially but at this age I don’t want to be a troll in someone’s basement. I want a life.

It’s also time to find a steady girlfriend that will lead into a (gasp) marriage. I’d like that experience in this life before I die even if it should happen blow up in my face. I’m fine to take the risk and I am putting that energy out in the universe. I don’t want some unshaven barrel assed she moose just because I want to be married though. I want to find a honey.

My vibe is improving a lot and hopefully that will produce different results than before. Moving to a new place and dating some nice women will make this year more interesting if nothing else. I want to accomplish other things yes, but I need to make room for dating or I’ll never hook up with anyone on a long term basis. I’m putting that vibe out there.

My comedy vibe is very good too these days, both performing and teaching. I had a pair of hot shows tonight at Zanies in Vernon Hills and I really enjoyed this whole week. I can feel myself getting stronger and stronger and the whole TV experience has made me a lot more structured and aware of myself on stage. I will use this year to improve even more.

Life has been a series of twists and turns and unexpected events and I’m sure there will be more of all that coming down the pike this year. My goal is to get past it and keep life going in a positive direction. Time to stop farting around. I’m at my personal peak now.