Sunday March 11th, 2007 - Milwaukee, WI/Chicago, IL

It’s turning into a ‘death a day’ streak lately. Enough already. Richard Jeni was today. I worked with him a few times over the years and thought he was a REALLY strong comic. He took a comedic premise farther than any comic I’ve ever seen. He dug in there and did every angle or what I thought was every angle and then he found some more. He was very structured and I studied his work whenever I could. He had a fantastic work ethic for sure.

I heard about it this morning through some comedy grapevines and then it made it on to the news wire. He committed suicide ‘apparently’ and he was only 45. He supposedly had a girlfriend because she was the one who called the police and said he had shot himself in the face. I don’t know how they can determine if it’s a suicide or not but unless she was a total idiot and shot him herself and then called the police I think he probably was the one.

I also heard rumors that he had some kind of medical condition that was untreatable but I can’t confirm that. What I can confirm is that when I worked with him he was not liked by the staff at the club at all. He went long every night and had an attitude with everybody he came in contact with except me. I didn’t let him put one over on me because I’ve been in those situations before. I have a lot of security at Zanies because I’ve worked there a lot over the years and know the owner and the manager and am part of the family there. If he had tried to be an ass to me I’d have just ignored it. He didn’t though. We got along fine.

One of the reasons was that I talked comedy with him backstage in the green room. We were between shows and he’d gone WAY long and that made it hard for the wait staff to clean up the room and everyone was furious at him. I took the attention off that and asked him how he delves so deeply on his premises and he perked right up and we talked about it for a long time. He was very introspective and articulate and I enjoyed the conversation very much. Later the manager said if I hadn’t talked to him and kept him away from her it would have been a total free for all because she wanted to go in and beat him senseless.

He had everything I want, or at least THINK that I want. He had a great work ethic and a really strong body of work. He had HBO and Showtime specials and a sitcom that even though it only lasted a season still got on the air. He had a great act and performed to sold out houses everywhere. So what went wrong? Was it the medical thing? Was it deeper?

It had to be deeper in my opinion. Even when I met him I could tell he was a little bit on the edge. There were a few things going on in that head. I’m sure people think that about me too and there’s been more than one time when I was ready to swallow a bullet myself.

I am learning to deal with things as I get older and getting a LOT better. He was only 45 and I thought he was older than that. I am going to be 44 in three days and I am not on the path to ending up like that at the moment, even though I still might. But I don’t think so.

Over and over again I’m learning ‘success’ by normal standards isn’t always guaranteed to make someone happy. What a waste of talent in this case. But I hope his pain is gone.

I went up to Milwaukee AGAIN today but this one was planned. My friend Warwick is a Pisces like me and his birthday is March 6th. My cousin Brett’s is February 21st. Mine is this coming Wednesday so what better way to celebrate a three way birthday than to go to Pandl’s for a world class brunch? No matter what kind of mood I’m in a Pandl’s visit will put a smile on my face and today was no exception. It was exceptionally delicious today.

They’ve got anything and everything and it’s all spectacular and we sat and looked out a huge picture window at some scenic woods and drank freshly squeezed orange juice. This is what life is about and we all enjoyed every bite of it and reflected on all that has passed through our lives in the past little while. Warwick’s dad died about a year ago and Brett’s mom died last September. My father’s death was just a couple of weeks ago and we had a discussion about that. Life was meant to be lived and there are no guarantees at all. All of it is so seemingly random and unplanned at times but rigidly scripted at others. It’s goofy.

The weather was beautiful and the food was great and we enjoyed each other’s presence for a totally wonderful experience. We talked about Richard Jeni for a while too. Why did he feel he needed to do that? Brett and I could relate. Warwick couldn’t. I wish I couldn’t.

After our meal we dropped Brett off and Warwick went to sleep in the car. I wasn’t in a hurry to get home so I drove past the house where I grew up. I also drove past the schools I went to and it all seemed like lifetimes ago. I drove past the lot where at age 11 I met my future best friend who would rob the bank and try to blame it on me. It was all so surreal.

Then I wound my way down to the south side of town and passed by my father’s house. I hadn’t seen it in a long time and it’s really in rough shape, even rougher than I imagined. I can’t believe anyone would want to buy it and just driving by it I can tell it will take big money to get it fixed up and ready to sell. It looks like Herman Munster’s guest house. It has a duplex in front and a ‘mother-in-law’ cottage in the back. That is common up there in that neighborhood and there are lots of others like it in the surrounding neighborhoods.

I sat there and looked at the houses and just thought what a waste all of that was too. He is now dead and whomever moves in there next will have NO idea of all the pain he gave to his family and hopefully it won’t happen all over again with people I don’t even know.

Then I drove east down Mitchell Street where the house is and headed to the freeway. It was a boulevard of broken dreams, getting uglier the farther east I drove. Mitchell Street was a shopping area for the whole south side of Milwaukee and was really jumping back when I was a kid. None of that is left now. It’s all got bars on the windows and there were all kinds of gangster looking thugs hanging around and I’m sure they weren’t on their way home from church. I found myself hoping the red lights would change faster so I could go back to Chicago and not get shot. When Chicago looks safe, I knew this was bad news.

This has been a really eventful week. I am moving on to whatever the next chapter is in my life and I can feel the last few squirts of youth leaving me quickly. I am over with my childhood and getting over the childhood issues. Do I have enough left to build a life?