Fun on the Run
This month, Fun on the Run saw contributions from
Yagathai
and
George Burke
.
Have Humour? Submit it at
http://tss.dumpshock.com/tss-cd.html
The Munchkin Table
Instructions: To determine the fitting punishment for a munchkin in your group, roll 2D6 and consult the following table.
Roll | Result |
1 | Congratulations! You somehow managed to live. Feel free continuing your munchkin ways. |
2 | Armageddon. Bruce Willis you’re not. This is one asteroid (hell, make it asteroids) you couldn’t stop. Take your character sheet, lay it on the ground and have your fellow gamers drop cinder-blocks on top of it. Repeat until sheet is no longer legible. |
3 | Mutation. Okay, maybe that wasn’t mayonnaise you touched. Whatever it was, it had an adverse affect on you. Hand over your character sheet to the GM. (S)he may reassign or completely change any or all of your stats. If any stat is 0 after the GM makes adjustments, then the character automatically dies (yes, you can die from being too damn ugly). |
4 | Alanis Morrisette. You wake up one day, feeling great, all ready to go out and buy that ultimate weapon you’ve been saving up for. You take one step outside and are struck dead by that exact weapon. Isn’t it ironic? |
5 | Personality. You might look like someone took a crap and threw a wad of hair on top, but you sure got personality, kid. Your GM will now assign you a personality. If you, at any time, fail to role-play your new personality, then consult the Munchkin Table, again. Ignore this result if re-rolled and roll again. |
6 | Lynch Mob. The senseless slaughter of countless innocents has finally caught up to you. It seems all of your victims’ relatives haven’t taken kindly to your deeds. They capture you and sentence you to die by stoning. Take your character sheet, lay it on the ground, and have your fellow gamers throw rocks at it. Repeat until sheet is no longer legible. |
7 | Spontaneous Combustion. Some people only smoke when they drink. Others do it to relax. You do it only when you’re on fire. With that said, take your character sheet and ignite it. Allow it to burn until sheet is no longer legible. |
8 | Witch Trials. Heh, word has it someone thinks you’re a witch and they might right. How else can you explain how you’ve managed to live this long? Surely not through skill or overall like-ability. Tie your character sheet to a large rock. Then, throw it into a large body of water. If it floats, you’re a witch. Remove sheet from the water and destroy it. If it sinks, then your innocent, but allow character sheet to remain submerged until it is no longer legible. |
9 | Custer’s Last Stand. You know the end result...use your imagination. Attach your character sheet to a dart board. Have your fellow gamers throw darts at it. Repeat until sheet is no longer legible. |
10 | I’m Rubber, You’re Glue. Well, the damage you just dealt out was ineffective. All of it bounced off of your intended target and has redirected itself to you. Start off by throwing darts at your character sheet. Next, cover your character sheet with super glue and attach it to a large rock. Then, drop the rock on the ground. Repeat until sheet is no longer legible. After that, light it on fire. Throw any remains into a large body of water. |
11 | Chipper Shredder. Some guys have all the luck…you just aren’t one of them. While on your latest adventure, you accidentally stumble and fall into a large chipper shredder (could be a grain combine, if chipper shredders are too advanced for the game system). Either way, you’re screwed. Take your character sheet and run it through a paper shredder (unless a real chipper shredder is on-hand). |
12 | Last Straw. Oh who cares? Just destroy your character sheet and never play another RPG again. |