Danielle Keller, 29, admitted that she often returned to James Raphael Mitchell - the father of her 1-year-old child and a man she once planned to marry - despite his alleged violence and drug use.

But just before her death Sunday, she secured a permanent restraining order against Mitchell, the 27-year-old son of the late pornography mogul Jim Mitchell. Ironically, said Keller's attorney, Charlotte Huggins, her resolve to move on may have prompted a final attack.

Huggins said she mailed the order to Mitchell last week and that he probably received it Saturday - a day before his daughter's first birthday. Mitchell was already wanted by Novato police for allegedly violating an earlier restraining order.

"I just feel bad - that obviously set him off," Huggins said.

Tracked phone calls

Huggins spoke before Mitchell made a first appearance in Marin County Superior Court for allegedly killing Keller on Sunday and driving away with his daughter, Samantha.

Authorities tracing his cell phone use tracked him to Citrus Heights (Sacramento County), where he was arrested just before midnight Sunday after pulling off Interstate 80. The girl was unharmed.

Prosecutors have charged him with murder, assault and child abduction. Mitchell, who was shackled at the wrists and ankles as a squad of 11 court bailiffs looked on, did not speak during Tuesday's brief hearing, nor did he enter a plea. He was ordered to return to court today.

Mitchell's lawyer, former San Francisco District Attorney Terence Hallinan, suggested outside court that Mitchell had killed Keller during a situation that escalated out of control.

"He feels terrible about it," Hallinan said of Mitchell. "He's not a bad person."

Court records shed light on the couple's stormy relationship. In a request for a restraining order filed in March in Marin County, Keller wrote that they met in August 2007 and, within two months, were engaged and living together.

Keller said Mitchell soon became the subject of a restraining order filed by his brother and two sisters, who said he had brandished a gun at the Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre in San Francisco - the adult venue opened by his father and uncle and now owned by a family trust.

Mitchell's domestic abuse, Keller wrote, began while the couple were preparing to move in together. "We were in the car and James was driving. We were arguing about the definition of a word," she wrote. "James hit me on my lip."

It was the first of many attacks, Keller said. Once, she said, he dragged her naked from her bedroom when she refused to have sex with him. Another time, she said, he punched her when she knocked over a table he was using to snort cocaine.

Mitchell had been a Marine Corps reservist, Keller said, and said many times that she was a "pawn" in his effort to avoid being sent to Iraq.

Mitchell was convicted of abusing Keller in February 2008 in San Francisco. She wrote that after she refused to give him her car keys, he ripped her purse off her shoulder, slapped her in the face and pushed her down. She was four months pregnant at the time.

Mitchell was sentenced to three years' probation, mental health counseling and a year in a program for abusers.

Although she secured a stay-away order against Mitchell, Keller later wrote, she moved back in with him within a couple of weeks. Court records show that Keller had the order formally lifted in May 2008.

Back together

When her mother intervened, Keller and Mitchell ceased living together again. But he did well in the program for abusers, Keller wrote, and they bought a house together in Pittsburg in late 2008.

Finally, on March 4, Keller said, she moved out for good. On that day, Mitchell was arrested for allegedly threatening her. San Francisco prosecutors soon asked a judge to sentence Mitchell to three months in jail for violating his probation. Instead, the judge ordered Mitchell to restart his domestic violence counseling program.

Two weeks after the alleged threat, Keller filed for a restraining order that would bar Mitchell from contacting her. A temporary one was granted.

Huggins, Keller's attorney, said Keller had failed to report some of Mitchell's subsequent phone calls. "I kept advising her not to talk to him," she said. "He was asking her to go to counseling with him and things like this."

On June 26, Keller called police and complained that Mitchell had shown up at her home.

He was gone when an officer arrived, but Novato police Capt. Jim Berg said Mitchell soon called the home and spoke to the officer. That was a violation of the restraining order, Berg said.

He said police had sent out a bulletin alerting other law enforcement agencies that they were looking for Mitchell. However, an arrest warrant was not issued and records show charges were not filed as of last week. Officials with the Marin County district attorney's office did not return a message Tuesday.

Records show Mitchell made a court appearance July 1 in San Francisco, where authorities apparently were not aware he was wanted. He was released on his own recognizance.

Missed hearing

Mitchell did not show up for a hearing in San Rafael on July 7, when the permanent restraining order was granted. Mitchell was allowed visitation with his daughter at a nonprofit parenting agency in Terra Linda.

Mitchell's mother, Mary, said in an interview that her son had been distraught over the custody issue.

"He was beside himself (after Keller was killed)," she said. "He just wanted a few more hours with his child." Huggins said she did not know whether stronger action could have resulted in Mitchell being arrested earlier, or whether such an arrest could have averted tragedy.

She said restraining orders are useful, but not ironclad.

"If someone really wants to kill someone, there's probably nothing a restraining order can do," Huggins said. "As long as this person knows where you live and how to get to you, you're in danger."

Chronicle staff writer Jaxon Van Derbeken contributed to this report. E-mail the writers at mcabanatuan@sfchronicle.com and dbulwa@sfchronicle.com.

This article appeared on page A - 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle