'Ms. K'

by Nhlanhla Mabaso

The things that we do when we say we "love" somebody! There is a saying that I like so much that goes like this: When you are born you are born with others, you grow up with others and die with others. In Zulu it goes: Uzalwa nabanye ukhule nabanye ufe nabanye.

The first time I came out was to my mother, not to the public as such. That was in 1994. There was a gathering at a place called Ipelegeng in Soweto. I was 29 years old. I met different people, people that were so unique - women smoking cigarettes and men doing something different from other men.

That's also where I met my first lesbian lover - I did love somebody before her, but she was straight, and then she passed away. May her soul rest in peace. Then I met this woman at Ipelegeng. Let me call her "Ms K". We were so in love with each other that we were together for at least 5 years. She was involved with two other women that I knew everything about, and every thing was cool between us.

We traveled a lot together. I discovered that when you love someone there is a lot that you are prepared to do for that special person. But then it came to a stage where we had to part ways because of the spiritual beliefs that she had at that time. That was in 2000. I decided to call it a day between us. Not that I didn't believe in spiritual things, but I couldn't deal with her beliefs.

For example, for about three of those five years, we didn't do anything like making love to each other!

Yes, we did have our ups and downs, but we were there for each other always. In the name of Love, you sometimes care about people to the point where you forget where you came from, but still you become strong. So we go on, in the name of love.

(Nhlanhla is a recent graduate of the Women Behind the Mask Basic Computer and Life Skills Training Programme.)