This Is to Mother You

Lisa Cholodenko, Thanks a lot for setting us back another decade. I hope you make a lot of money - maybe next time voters anywhere in the country are deciding on whether or not we should have the right to marry you can use all that money to offset the millions of dollars that the right wingers and mormons will be throwing in and you could educate our country that our relationships are sacred, our lives honorable, our intentions grand, our dreams - limitless... that is when one of us is not f........ our anonymous sperm donor in the back room.... You had such a great opportunity, a great cast, obviously the money - but you totally failed us. You left a lot of us really embarrassed and ashamed - was that what you were going for?

Agree 100% with Mark. It's not just how LBGTs will see this movie - it's about how the broader society will see it and what messages they will take from it. I know that Cholodenko is just making her "art," but, in the end, her depiction lesbians who "need" a penis to get off (be it watching gay porn or sleeping with a man) will serve to convince many of our enemies that a "lesbian" is just a woman who hasn't found the right man yet. The only depictions of lesbians in film consist of this tired "Chasing Amy" trope. Been there, done that. "Chasing Amy" was annoying when it came out...13 years ago.

This movie was a huge disappointment. If you want to see the frat-boy fantasy of a "lesbian" having lots of hot sex with a man, this movie is for you. (Funny, movies about gay men never depict the men sexing it up with women - that demeaning story line is reserved for lesbians). But, more than that - every sex scene in the movie somehow involved a penis, from the gay porn (that the women "need" in order to have sex together - what a disaster that was!) to the multiple, multiple romps that Jules and Paul have, in every position, in every room of the house. I almost forgot the movie was supposed to be about two lesbians. Disappointing, indeed.

I saw a sneak peek a month or so ago. I liked it, I like most of Cholodenko's work, but it did bother me. If there were a plethora of diverse examples of lesbians in mainstream culture, I would have no objection to this storyline. But I have to say that it bothered me that Moore's character slept with Ruffalo's character, and that this was key to the plot. I remember when "Chasing Amy" came out, we were so starved for representation that my friends berated me for criticizing a story about a lesbian falling in love with a man ("but she breaks up with him," they'd say, "and she remains a lesbian! See, it's good for us!"). And here we are, over 10 years later, and we are watching the same trick - lesbian (or bisexual in a comitted lesbian relationship) sleeps with a man, but because of identity politics and social pressure she turns him away and continues living as a lesbian. Somehow, despite the fine acting and Cholodenko's talent, I'm once again left unsatisfied. I just wish we had more.

"A lesbian-identified bisexual" isn't that like saying you're a vegan-identified carnivore?

This is not your typical "the lesbian has sex with the guy" kind of movie -- AT ALL! Don't jump to conclusions. Go see the movie. And since the interview has already given away the fact that the Jules character sleeps with the guy let's just clarify that Jules is actually bisexual. A lesbian-identified bisexual, but bisexual nonetheless. Thanks to Lisa Cholodenko for giving us these complex and nuanced portrayals. And looking forward to a time when there are enough on-screen portrayals of EVERYONE to go around and nobody else has to be stuck in that celluloid closet.

Why are so many of you criticizing the film without having seen it. You don't know how the storyline plays out with Julianne having an affair with Mark. Wait to see it before you judge it.

This movie brings up a question in my mind: how realistic is it really for someone (who is gay) to forgive their supposedly gay spouse for sleeping with the opposite sex? And count me as one of those annoyed and turned off by the fact that Julianne Moore’s character has an affair with a man.

If there were an abundance of examples of lesbians having sex with other lesbians instead of men then I may have been able to appreciate this film as just another interesting character study. Instead, we have seen this story of lesbians having sex with men - "Chasing Amy," anyone? - so many times that even despite the "happy" ending (spoiler) where the couple stays together, I am so tired of seeing this story as one of only a handful of "acceptable" storylines for lesbians in Hollywood that I just can't forgive it. If there were a multitude of lesbian storylines countering this image, then I could appreciate Cholodenko's work here. Until then, I will continue to be disappointed by the lack of general diversity in Hollywood.

I think this movie will close some gaps for people. We're human. We're real. We're living in your neighborhoods. I'd like to think this is all good. And thanks to Lisa Cholodenko for being the amazing creative talent that she is and for being willing to take this risk. I really look forward to seeing this film! Susan Gabriel author of Seeking Sara Summers (a novel about falling in love with your best friend)