Selma's Choice | season 4 episode 13 | Simpsons World

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Season 1

13 Episodes by popularity

1

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Simpsons Roasting on an O

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There's No Disgrace Like

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Life on the Fast Lane

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Homer's Night Out

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The Crepes of Wrath

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Krusty Gets Busted

When Homer positively identifies Kr...
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Some Enchanted Evening

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season 1 982k views

Season 2

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Bart Gets an F

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2

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Simpson and Delilah

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3

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4

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Two Cars in Every Garage

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Dancin' Homer

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Dead Putting Society

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Bart the Daredevil

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Bart Gets Hit by a Car

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One Fish, Two Fish, Blowf

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The Way We Was

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14

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Principal Charming

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15

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Oh Brother, Where Art Tho

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16

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Bart's Dog Gets an F

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17

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Old Money

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Brush with Greatness

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19

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Lisa's Substitute

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The War of the Simpsons

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21

58564 Views

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22

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Season 3

24 Episodes by popularity

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52425 Views

Stark Raving Dad

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Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingt

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When Flanders Failed

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Bart the Murderer

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Homer Defined

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Like Father, Like Clown

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110568 Views

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8

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Lisa's Pony

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9

61197 Views

Saturdays of Thunder

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60468 Views

Flaming Moe's

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11

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Burns Verkaufen der Kraft

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12

59730 Views

I Married Marge

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13

69481 Views

Radio Bart

Using his Superstar Celebrity micro...
14

53717 Views

Lisa the Greek

Lisa accurately predicts the winner...
15

58691 Views

Homer Alone

When Marge reaches the breaking poi...
16

65391 Views

Bart the Lover

When Bart discovers that his divorc...
17

89972 Views

Homer at the Bat

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18

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Separate Vocations

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19

55329 Views

Dog of Death

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55308 Views

Colonel Homer

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21

63701 Views

Black Widower

To Bart's horror, Selma announces t...
22

57239 Views

The Otto Show

Bart attends a Spinal Tap concert. ...
23

55447 Views

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58726 Views

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season 3 1472.3k views

Season 4

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1

67552 Views

Kamp Krusty

Bart and Lisa are horrified when th...
2

48737 Views

A Streetcar Named Marge

When Marge lands the role of Blanch...
3

62881 Views

Homer the Heretic

Homer creates his own religion as a...
4

55654 Views

Lisa the Beauty Queen

Homer enters Lisa in a beauty pagea...
5

119138 Views

Treehouse of Horror III

During a Halloween party, the Simps...
6

59377 Views

Itchy and Scratchy: The M

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7

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68962 Views

Mr. Plow

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Marge vs. the Monorail

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Selma's Choice

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Brother from the Same Pla

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I Love Lisa

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16

98914 Views

Duffless

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17

61218 Views

Last Exit to Springfield

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18

60202 Views

So It's Come to This: A S

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The Front

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20

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Whacking Day

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21

74893 Views

Marge in Chains

Marge is jailed when she is convict...
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72419 Views

Krusty Gets Kancelled

Bart, Lisa and a group of celebriti...

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2

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Cape Feare

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3

71215 Views

Homer Goes to College

Homer enrolls in a nuclear physics ...
4

70201 Views

Rosebud

The Simpsons find Mr. Burns' long-l...
5

128355 Views

Treehouse of Horror IV

In a ghoulish gallery, Bart hosts t...
6

59926 Views

Marge on the Lam

Marge joins divorcee Ruth Powers fo...
7

85463 Views

Bart's Inner Child

The host of a self-help workshop co...
8

92746 Views

Boy-Scoutz 'N the Hood

Bart inadvertently joins the Junior...
9

71935 Views

The Last Temptation of Ho

Homer is attracted to a sexy co-wor...
10

84692 Views

$pringfield (Or, How I Le

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11

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Homer takes the law into his own ha...
12

62009 Views

Bart Gets Famous

Bart becomes an instant celebrity a...
13

67503 Views

Homer and Apu

Apu offers the Simpsons his service...
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15

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Bart Gets an Elephant

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18

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Burns' Heir

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19

73088 Views

Sweet Seymour Skinner's B

Bart suffers enormous guilt after S...
20

76523 Views

The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Only Bart can clear Mayor Quimby's ...
21

66232 Views

Lady Bouvier's Lover

Grampa and Mr. Burns vie for Mrs. B...
22

74663 Views

Secrets of a Successful M

Marge kicks Homer out of the house ...

season 5 1710k views

Season 6

25 Episodes by popularity

1

61798 Views

Bart of Darkness

Bart believes he witnessed Ned Flan...
2

53720 Views

Lisa's Rival

Lisa becomes jealous when she meets...
3

41535 Views

Another Simpsons Clip Sho

When Marge suspects that romance ha...
4

84367 Views

Itchy and Scratchy Land

The Simpsons visit a theme park bas...
5

67534 Views

Sideshow Bob Roberts

Sideshow Bob runs for political off...
6

121626 Views

Treehouse of Horror V

The Simpsons spin three tales of Ha...
7

67860 Views

Bart's Girlfriend

Bart falls in love with Reverend Lo...
8

63389 Views

Lisa on Ice

Lisa joins a hockey team and finds ...
9

69183 Views

Homer Badman

Homer is wrongly accused of committ...
10

64623 Views

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequ

While selling a homemade tonic guar...
11

61519 Views

Fear of Flying

Marge seeks professional help from ...
12

73205 Views

Homer the Great

Homer's popularity skyrockets when ...
13

65716 Views

And Maggie Makes Three

Homer recounts how Maggie's acciden...
14

68577 Views

Bart's Comet

Bart discovers a comet that is on a...
15

75219 Views

Homie the Clown

Homer enrolls in a clown college fr...
16

96617 Views

Bart vs. Australia

Bart must apologize to the country ...
17

66679 Views

Homer vs. Patty and Selma

Homer is forced to borrow money fro...
18

78662 Views

A Star Is Burns

Homer grows jealous after Marge ask...
19

106724 Views

Lisa's Wedding

A fortune teller describes how a ge...
20

68859 Views

Two Dozen and One Greyhou

Bart and Lisa attempt to rescue 25 ...
21

75010 Views

The PTA Disbands

Bart masterminds a teacher's strike...
22

65132 Views

'Round Springfield

Lisa is saddened by the death of bl...
23

78642 Views

The Springfield Connectio

Marge joins the police force....
24

77823 Views

Lemon of Troy

Bart and his friends march on Shelb...
25

91606 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Just about everyone in Springfield ...

season 6 1845.6k views

Season 7

25 Episodes by popularity

1

65248 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Lisa aids police with the investiga...
2

62540 Views

Radioactive Man

Hollywood producers cast Milhouse i...
3

62379 Views

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum

The Flanders gain custody of the Si...
4

67083 Views

Bart Sells His Soul

Bart sells his soul to Milhouse for...
5

71384 Views

Lisa the Vegetarian

Lisa turns vegetarian after her fam...
6

119430 Views

Treehouse of Horror VI

The Simpsons appear in three horrif...
7

82626 Views

King-Size Homer

Homer intentionally gains weight so...
8

60474 Views

Mother Simpson

After Homer fakes his own death, hi...
9

67270 Views

Sideshow Bob's Last Gleam

Sideshow Bob threatens to detonate ...
10

59432 Views

The Simpsons 138th Episod

Troy McClure hosts this special 138...
11

72521 Views

Marge Be Not Proud

As Christmas approaches, Marge trea...
12

83796 Views

Team Homer

Homer reluctantly accepts Mr. Burns...
13

66570 Views

Two Bad Neighbors

Former President George Bush and hi...
14

60711 Views

Scenes from the Class Str

The Simpsons apply for membership a...
15

64652 Views

Bart the Fink

Krusty is arrested for massive tax ...
16

65760 Views

Lisa the Iconoclast

Lisa discovers that Jebediah Spring...
17

77955 Views

Homer the Smithers

Homer acts as Mr. Burns' assistant ...
18

61692 Views

The Day the Violence Died

Bart and Lisa come to the aid of a ...
19

71583 Views

A Fish Called Selma

Troy McClure stages a Hollywood com...
20

76631 Views

Bart on the Road

Using a fake driver's license, Bart...
21

73994 Views

22 Short Films About Spri

The lives of Springfield residents ...
22

75319 Views

Raging Abe Simpson and Hi

Grampa and Mr. Burns, the last surv...
23

70640 Views

Much Apu About Nothing

Apu faces deportation when a refere...
24

70806 Views

Homerpalooza

Homer is hired to perform in a rock...
25

73248 Views

Summer of 4 Ft. 2

While on summer vacation with her f...

season 7 1783.7k views

Season 8

25 Episodes by popularity

1

102919 Views

Treehouse of Horror VII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
2

72934 Views

You Only Move Twice

The Simpsons relocate to another co...
3

67630 Views

The Homer They Fall

Homer becomes a professional boxer ...
4

58816 Views

Burns, Baby Burns

With Homer's help, Mr. Burns' long-...
5

58158 Views

Bart After Dark

While Marge is out of town, Homer a...
6

61432 Views

A Milhouse Divided

When Milhouse's parents get a divor...
7

60867 Views

Lisa's Date with Density

Lisa develops a crush on bully Nels...
8

25140 Views

Hurricane Neddy

Ned Flanders suffers a breakdown af...
9

23582 Views

El Viaje Misterioso de Nu

After ingesting several Guatemalan ...
10

25066 Views

The Springfield Files

X-Files Agents Mulder and Scully in...
11

23736 Views

The Twisted World of Marg

After being expelled from an invest...
12

22881 Views

Mountain of Madness

Homer and Mr. Burns are buried bene...
13

20739 Views

Simpsoncalifragilisticexp

The Simpsons hire a Mary Poppins-li...
14

21917 Views

The Itchy and Scratchy an

When ratings for Itchy & Scratchy c...
15

24141 Views

Homer's Phobia

Homer grows homophobic after he rea...
16

21048 Views

Brother from Another Seri

Bart fears the worst when Sideshow ...
17

20888 Views

My Sister, My Sitter

Homer and Marge allow Lisa to baby-...
18

27187 Views

Homer vs. the Eighteenth

Homer turns bootlegger when Springf...
19

22092 Views

Grade School Confidential

Bart exposes Skinner and Krabappel'...
20

27748 Views

The Canine Mutiny

Bart gives away Santa's Little Help...
21

26902 Views

The Old Man and the Lisa

Lisa helps Mr. Burns build a recycl...
22

21509 Views

In Marge We Trust

Marge becomes a church volunteer. ...
23

25858 Views

Homer's Enemy

A resentful, hard-working employee ...
24

30929 Views

The Simpsons Spin-Off Sho

Troy McClure hosts three spin-offs ...
25

27420 Views

The Secret War of Lisa Si

Cadets give Lisa the "silent treatm...

season 8 921.5k views

Season 9

25 Episodes by popularity

1

36677 Views

The City of New York vs.

The Simpsons journey to New York Ci...
2

26365 Views

The Principal and the Pau

A stranger claims that Principal Sk...
3

25091 Views

Lisa's Sax

Homer and Marge recount how Lisa go...
4

49303 Views

Treehouse of Horror VIII

Homer battles killer mutants after ...
5

36070 Views

The Cartridge Family

Homer purchases a handgun to protec...
6

29856 Views

Bart Star

Homer becomes coach of the Springfi...
7

25605 Views

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemap

In an effort to annul an arranged m...
8

27336 Views

Lisa the Skeptic

Townspeople believe Lisa has uneart...
9

29016 Views

Realty Bites

Marge gets a job with a realty firm...
10

28813 Views

Miracle on Evergreen Terr

People throughout Springfield open ...
11

22970 Views

All Singing, All Dancing

The Simpsons recall their many musi...
12

28148 Views

Bart Carny

A carnival worker and his son move ...
13

34443 Views

The Joy of Sect

Marge tries her hand at deprogrammi...
14

32427 Views

Das Bus

Bart, Lisa and their classmates fig...
15

27345 Views

The Last Temptation of Kr

Krusty shuns his old routines in fa...
16

27301 Views

Dumbbell Indemnity

When Moe goes broke romancing his n...
17

29557 Views

Lisa the Simpson

Lisa fears she is genetically predi...
18

28419 Views

This Little Wiggy

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19

31714 Views

Simpson Tide

Homer becomes the captain of a Navy...
20

29961 Views

The Trouble with Trillion

When a tax audit lands him in hot w...
21

28863 Views

Girly Edition

Bart attempts to upstage Lisa when ...
22

35180 Views

Trash of the Titans

Homer enters the race for Sanitatio...
23

30595 Views

King of the Hill

After improving his physique, Homer...
24

27496 Views

Lost Our Lisa

Lisa gets lost in an unfamiliar par...
25

26930 Views

Natural Born Kissers

Homer and Marge discover the secret...

season 9 755.5k views

Season 10

23 Episodes by popularity

1

53927 Views

Lard of the Dance

Homer thinks he can net a fortune b...
2

18148 Views

The Wizard of Evergreen T

After realizing half his life is ov...
3

22678 Views

Bart the Mother

Bart tends to a nest filled with eg...
4

44736 Views

Treehouse of Horror IX

An evil toupee possesses Homer; Bar...
5

23113 Views

When You Dish Upon a Star

Homer befriends a group of Hollywoo...
6

24475 Views

D'oh-in' in the Wind

Homer embraces his newly discovered...
7

26623 Views

Lisa Gets an 'A'

Lisa suffers a guilty conscience af...
8

25920 Views

Homer Simpson in: 'Kidney

Homer offers to donate one of his k...
9

29873 Views

Mayored to the Mob

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10

30210 Views

Viva Ned Flanders

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11

29957 Views

Wild Barts Can't Be Broke

The children of Springfield rebel a...
12

26146 Views

Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

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13

29834 Views

Homer to the Max

Homer changes his name when a dimwi...
14

23713 Views

I'm with Cupid

Apu showers his wife with Valentine...
15

26537 Views

Marge Simpson in: 'Scream

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16

27448 Views

Make Room for Lisa

Lisa exhibits signs of stress when ...
17

25266 Views

Maximum Homerdrive

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18

46419 Views

Simpsons Bible Stories

While listening to one of Reverend ...
19

47501 Views

Mom and Pop Art

Homer pursues a career as an artist...
20

46997 Views

The Old Man and the 'C' S

Bart must perform community service...
21

45554 Views

Monty Can't Buy Me Love

Mr. Burns attempts to win adoration...
22

48693 Views

They Saved Lisa's Brain

Lisa is invited to join Mensa; Home...
23

66829 Views

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

The Simpsons board a mega-saver fli...

season 10 790.6k views

Season 11

22 Episodes by popularity

1

20220 Views

Beyond Blunderdome

Studio executives panic when actor ...
2

39617 Views

Brother's Little Helper

Bart is diagnosed with Attention De...
3

42734 Views

Guess Who's Coming to Cri

Homer becomes the Springfield Shopp...
4

70734 Views

Treehouse of Horror X

Homer's Y2K error plunges the Earth...
5

47891 Views

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)

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6

41813 Views

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadde

Homer becomes an instant celebrity ...
7

37869 Views

Eight Misbehavin'

Apu is driven to the brink when his...
8

38742 Views

Take My Wife, Sleaze

Homer wins a vintage motorcycle dur...
9

49864 Views

Grift of the Magi

As the Christmas holiday approaches...
10

45833 Views

Little Big Mom

Lisa becomes mother-of-the-house wh...
11

41139 Views

Faith Off

Bart believes he has the power to h...
12

43268 Views

The Mansion Family

The Simpsons care for Burns' mansio...
13

39750 Views

Saddlesore Galactica

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14

46168 Views

Alone Again Natura-Diddil

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15

55039 Views

Missionary Impossible

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16

56884 Views

Pygmoelian

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17

71785 Views

Bart to the Future

A Native American casino manager sh...
18

53190 Views

Days of Wine and D'Ohses

Barney swears off alcohol, creating...
19

56065 Views

Kill the Alligator and Ru

The Simpsons find themselves on the...
20

52536 Views

Last Tap Dance in Springf

After watching a movie about a sexy...
21

61102 Views

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad

When Otto ditches his fiancée at t...
22

102101 Views

Behind the Laughter

This 'behind-the-scenes' special ch...

season 11 1114.3k views

Season 12

21 Episodes by popularity

1

81467 Views

Treehouse of Horror XI

On Halloween... a deceased Homer mu...
2

41741 Views

A Tale of Two Springfield

The townspeople of Springfield divi...
3

43413 Views

Insane Clown Poppy

Krusty discovers that he fathered a...
4

39278 Views

Lisa the Treehugger

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5

44550 Views

Homer vs. Dignity

As the Thanksgiving holiday approac...
6

51723 Views

The Computer Wore Menace

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7

50109 Views

The Great Money Caper

Homer and Bart become scam artists ...
8

62195 Views

Skinner's Sense of Snow

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9

93486 Views

HOMR

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10

48423 Views

Pokey Mom

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11

53020 Views

Worst Episode Ever

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12

57834 Views

Tennis the Menace

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13

56420 Views

Day of the Jackanapes

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14

56901 Views

New Kids on the Blecch

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15

53663 Views

Hungry Hungry Homer

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16

48973 Views

Bye Bye Nerdy

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17

63523 Views

Simpson Safari

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18

54418 Views

Trilogy of Error

A day in the life of the Simpsons r...
19

52781 Views

I'm Goin' to Praise Land

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20

54974 Views

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21

55043 Views

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The Simpsons jump a train, and meet...

season 12 1163.9k views

Season 13

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3

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5

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6

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7

48735 Views

Brawl in the Family

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8

52134 Views

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9

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10

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11

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46688 Views

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13

43954 Views

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14

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15

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16

61011 Views

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17

51577 Views

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18

77534 Views

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19

51329 Views

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20

51296 Views

Little Girl in the Big Te

Lisa is overjoyed when she befriend...
21

54048 Views

Frying Game

Homer and Marge become murder suspe...
22

59553 Views

Papa's Got a Brand New Ba

When Wiggum and his men prove ineff...

season 13 1170.1k views

Season 14

22 Episodes by popularity

1

81815 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIII

On Halloween, Homer's evil hammock ...
2

36210 Views

How I Spent My Strummer V

When a hidden camera tapes Homer la...
3

41127 Views

Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Gra

Bart and Lisa are horrified when th...
4

52113 Views

Large Marge

Marge's life changes dramatically w...
5

45897 Views

Helter Shelter

When the Simpson house undergoes fu...
6

54097 Views

The Great Louse Detective

When someone attempts to murder Hom...
7

42687 Views

Special Edna

When Bart gets Mrs. Krabappel nomin...
8

47436 Views

The Dad Who Knew Too Litt

Homer hires a shady private investi...
9

50054 Views

The Strong Arms of The Ma

When Marge is mugged at the Kwik-E-...
10

47018 Views

Pray Anything

Inspired by Ned Flanders, Homer tur...
11

51229 Views

Barting Over

When Bart discovers the existence o...
12

44750 Views

I'm Spelling as Fast as I

When Lisa becomes a finalist in a s...
13

44162 Views

A Star is Born-Again

A Hollywood movie star takes a roma...
14

46300 Views

Mr. Spritz Goes To Washin

When Springfield Airport changes th...
15

47604 Views

C.E.D'oh

On Valentine's Day, Homer attends a...
16

46635 Views

'Scuse Me While I Miss Th

As a British filmmaker makes a docu...
17

71588 Views

Three Gays of the Condo

Homer moves in with a gay couple af...
18

62029 Views

Dude, Where's My Ranch?

While vacationing at a dude ranch, ...
19

47262 Views

Old Yeller-Belly

When Santa's Little Helper becomes ...
20

50596 Views

Brake My Wife, Please

When Homer loses his driver's licen...
21

51863 Views

The Bart of War

After police discover Bart and Milh...
22

48958 Views

Moe Baby Blues

When Moe saves baby Maggie's life, ...

season 14 1111.4k views

Season 15

22 Episodes by popularity

1

77651 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIV

On Halloween, Homer takes over for ...
2

34553 Views

My Mother the Carjacker

Mother Simpson is captured by polic...
3

40308 Views

The President Wore Pearls

When Lisa is elected student body p...
4

55454 Views

The Regina Monologues

The Simpsons travel to England, whe...
5

40291 Views

The Fat and the Furriest

Homer becomes the laughing stock of...
6

40717 Views

Today I am a Clown

When Krusty takes the Sabbath off s...
7

39371 Views

'Tis the Fifteenth Season

As Christmas approaches, Homer disc...
8

45497 Views

Marge vs. Singles, Senior

Marge opposes a political group mad...
9

42025 Views

I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot

Homer builds a fighting robot for B...
10

43966 Views

Diatribe of a Mad Housewi

Homer buys an ambulance and starts ...
11

43202 Views

Margical History Tour

Marge tells the children three hist...
12

48511 Views

Milhouse Doesn't Live Her

When Milhouse and his mother reloca...
13

46395 Views

Smart & Smarter

Lisa searches for a new identity wh...
14

43537 Views

The Ziff Who Came to Dinn

Homer becomes the majority sharehol...
15

45200 Views

Co-Dependent's Day

When a drunken Homer loses control ...
16

45445 Views

The Wandering Juvie

Bart's latest prank lands him in ju...
17

45106 Views

My Big Fat Geek Wedding

Mrs. Krabappel dumps Principal Skin...
18

47584 Views

Catch 'Em If You Can

Bart and Lisa pursue Homer and Marg...
19

48322 Views

Simple Simpson

Homer confronts evildoers in the fo...
20

45940 Views

The Way We Weren't

Homer reveals that Marge wasn't the...
21

48121 Views

Bart-Mangled Banner

The Simpsons are thrown in prison a...
22

48644 Views

Fraudcast News

Mr. Burns buys up all the media out...

season 15 1015.8k views

Season 16

21 Episodes by popularity

1

79496 Views

Treehouse of Horror XV

On Halloween... Flanders can predic...
2

40795 Views

All's Fair in Oven War

Marge enters a bakeoff competition,...
3

41228 Views

Sleeping with the Enemy

Lisa becomes self-conscious about h...
4

38366 Views

She Used to Be My Girl

Marge wonders if she made the right...
5

43586 Views

Fat Man and Little Boy

Homer builds a nuclear reactor for ...
6

42130 Views

Midnight Rx

Homer and Grampa smuggle drugs out ...
7

44249 Views

Mommie Beerest

Homer mortgages his house to save M...
8

42562 Views

Homer and Ned's Hail Mary

After teaching famous athletes some...
9

42212 Views

Pranksta Rap

After sneaking off to a rap concert...
10

44758 Views

There's Something About M

When tourists shun Springfield, the...
11

45323 Views

On a Clear Day I Can't Se

After Bart torments his sister duri...
12

60057 Views

Goo Goo Gai Pan

Homer pretends to be Selma's husban...
13

47294 Views

Mobile Homer

Bart and Lisa attempt to save Homer...
14

46765 Views

The Seven-Beer Snitch

Homer becomes a prison snitch after...
15

66006 Views

Future-Drama

Using Professor Frink's astrologica...
16

44601 Views

Don't Fear the Roofer

Homer ends up in a mental instituti...
17

53928 Views

The Heartbroke Kid

Bart has a heart attack after he be...
18

51145 Views

A Star is Torn

Homer behaves like a domineering st...
19

49577 Views

Thank God It's Doomsday

Homer is declared a prophet after h...
20

49178 Views

Home Away From Homer

Flanders feels like a fool after so...
21

49093 Views

The Father, The Son, and

After Bart gets expelled, he's enro...

season 16 1022.3k views

Season 17

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31665 Views

The Bonfire of the Manate

When Homer allows the mob to film a...
2

36882 Views

The Girl Who Slept Too Li

Lisa must confront her darkest fear...
3

36285 Views

MIlhouse of Sand and Fog

After Kirk and Luann rekindle their...
4

83841 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVI

On Halloween, Bart is replaced by a...
5

39565 Views

Marge's Son Poisoning

After spending time with her son, M...
6

40524 Views

See Homer Run

After winning popularity as the Saf...
7

38503 Views

The Last of the Red Hat M

A lonely Marge joins a women's grou...
8

61582 Views

The Italian Bob

The Simpsons travel to Italy to ret...
9

45482 Views

Simpsons Christmas Storie

The Simpsons appear in three Christ...
10

39214 Views

Homer's Paternity Coot

When an old letter is delivered to ...
11

42589 Views

We're on the Road to D'oh

After Bart gets into trouble at sch...
12

43566 Views

My Fair Laddy

Lisa vows to turn Groundskeeper Wil...
13

65036 Views

The Seemingly Never-Endin

When the Simpsons become trapped in...
14

44021 Views

Bart Has Two Mommies

Marge teaches Rod and Todd Flanders...
15

43169 Views

Homer Simpson, This is Yo

Marge swaps places with a British w...
16

43658 Views

Million Dollar Abie

After costing Springfield a profess...
17

58254 Views

Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore

Mr. Burns closes the nuclear power ...
18

44156 Views

The Wettest Stories Ever

The Simpsons appear in three storie...
19

48078 Views

Girls Just Want to Have S

After Skinner is fired for insinuat...
20

45894 Views

Regarding Margie

After Marge develops amnesia and ca...
21

48907 Views

The Monkey Suit

Lisa protests when Springfield pass...
22

44848 Views

Marge and Homer Turn a Co

Homer and Marge play marriage couns...

season 17 1025.7k views

Season 18

22 Episodes by popularity

1

36693 Views

The Mook, the Chef, the W

Lisa befriends the son of mobster F...
2

33783 Views

Jazzy and the Pussycats

Lisa grows jealous after Bart disco...
3

39351 Views

Please Homer, Don't Hamme

Marge starts her own carpentry busi...
4

81604 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
5

41552 Views

G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)

After Homer joins the Army, he's se...
6

36597 Views

Moe 'N' a Lisa

Lisa helps Moe get a poem published...
7

41385 Views

Ice Cream of Margie (With

Homer finds happiness after he buys...
8

40546 Views

The Haw-Hawed Couple

Bart becomes Nelson's best friend; ...
9

49224 Views

Kill Gil (Parts I & II)

During the Christmas holiday, Marge...
10

40990 Views

The Wife Aquatic

Marge returns to an island where sh...
11

66683 Views

Revenge is a Dish Best Se

The Simpsons spin three tales of re...
12

55281 Views

Little Big Girl

As Multicultural Day approaches, Li...
13

45328 Views

Springfield Up

In this spoof of the 'Up' documenta...
14

44279 Views

Yokel Chords

Lisa tutors Cletus's children - unt...
15

42193 Views

Rome-old and Juli-eh

Homer is horrified when his father ...
16

43744 Views

Homerazzi

Homer tries his hand at making mone...
17

48380 Views

Marge Gamer

After discovering the Internet, Mar...
18

53731 Views

The Boys of Bummer

Bart becomes the shame of Springfie...
19

46474 Views

Crook and Ladder

Homer and his friends join the volu...
20

44844 Views

Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot

When Santa's Little Helper gets a j...
21

45714 Views

24 Minutes

In this spoof of the television ser...
22

48249 Views

You Kent Always Say What

Kent Brockman accidentally utters a...

season 18 1026.6k views

Season 19

20 Episodes by popularity

1

34939 Views

He Loves To Fly And He D'

Marge hires a life coach to turn Ho...
2

33976 Views

Homer of Seville

Homer becomes an opera star, only t...
3

35469 Views

Midnight Towboy

Homer makes enemies when he starts ...
4

35003 Views

I Don't Wanna Know Why th

Marge fears for her safety after br...
5

81740 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVIII

In three tales of Halloween terror:...
6

39449 Views

Little Orphan Millie

When his parents are lost at sea an...
7

42937 Views

Husbands and Knives

After Marge launches a gym for 'reg...
8

48383 Views

Funeral for a Fiend

After another of his attempts to ki...
9

43362 Views

Eternal Moonshine of the

Homer wakes up from a blackout only...
10

44791 Views

E. Pluribus Wiggum

When Springfield becomes the first ...
11

43955 Views

That 90's Show

Marge and Homer recount how Marge a...
12

40804 Views

Love, Springfieldian Styl

When Homer and Marge become trapped...
13

42928 Views

The Debarted

Bart befriends a new kid at school,...
14

42778 Views

Dial 'N' for Nerder

Bart and Lisa think they killed Mar...
15

42984 Views

Smoke on the Daughter

Lisa becomes addicted to secondhand...
16

39761 Views

Papa Don't Leech

Marge and Homer aid country singer ...
17

41822 Views

Apocalypse Cow

Bart is overjoyed when the calf he'...
18

42892 Views

Any Given Sundance

Lisa's documentary about life with ...
19

40485 Views

Mona Leaves-a

When Homer's mother returns to Spri...
20

46646 Views

All About Lisa

Krusty hires Lisa to be his intern,...

season 19 865.1k views

Season 20

21 Episodes by popularity

1

39973 Views

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrap

Homer and Flanders team-up as bount...
2

35803 Views

Lost Verizon

When Bart steals actor Denis Leary'...
3

47930 Views

Double, Double, Boy in Tr

Bart swaps places with his exact do...
4

79948 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIX

On Halloween... Transformer-like ro...
5

46439 Views

Dangerous Curves

In a series of flashbacks... Homer ...
6

38076 Views

Homer and Lisa Exchange C

When Lisa discovers a talent for so...
7

38752 Views

Mypods and Boomsticks

Homer thinks Bart's new Muslim frie...
8

37883 Views

The Burns and the Bees

As Lisa tries to find a habitat for...
9

38072 Views

Lisa the Drama Queen

Lisa's new best friend creates a fa...
10

40237 Views

Take My Life, Please

When Homer discovers that he was al...
11

40774 Views

How the Test Was Won

Lisa freezes during a federal schoo...
12

41295 Views

No Loan Again, Naturally

When Homer and Marge's adjustable m...
13

42104 Views

Gone Maggie Gone

In this 'National Treasure'-like st...
14

54544 Views

In the Name of the Grandf

The Simpsons travel to Ireland, whe...
15

42364 Views

Wedding for Disaster

When their marriage license turns o...
16

41164 Views

Eeny Teeny Maya Moe

Moe meets a beautiful woman in an I...
17

45212 Views

The Good, The Sad, and Th

Bart dumps Milhouse in favor of a c...
18

43186 Views

Father Knows Worst

As a result of Homer's "helicopter ...
19

46413 Views

Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'o

Homer and Marge rent an apartment i...
20

45311 Views

Four Great Women and a Ma

As Marge and Lisa have their nails ...
21

49674 Views

Coming To Homerica

Springfield grapples with an immigr...

season 20 935.2k views

Season 21

23 Episodes by popularity

1

36664 Views

Homer the Whopper

Homer ends up with a superhero's ph...
2

36475 Views

Bart Gets A 'Z'

Principal Skinner fires Mrs. Krabap...
3

41891 Views

The Great Wife Hope

Marge vows to drive mixed martial a...
4

77112 Views

Treehouse of Horror XX

Classic movie monsters are attacked...
5

40027 Views

The Devil Wears Nada

Homer's life turns into nonstop mis...
6

39199 Views

Pranks and Greens

Skinner tells Bart about a former S...
7

37296 Views

Rednecks and Broomsticks

Lisa befriends a group of Wiccans w...
8

37898 Views

O Brother, Where Bart Tho

Bart attempts to get Homer and Marg...
9

35574 Views

Thursdays with Abie

Homer becomes jealous when a report...
10

42028 Views

Once Upon A Time in Sprin

Krusty ends up playing second fiddl...
11

39733 Views

Million Dollar Maybe

Homer wins a million-dollar lottery...
12

62732 Views

Boy Meets Curl

The Simpsons head to the Winter Oly...
13

48817 Views

The Color Yellow

Lisa discovers that her Southern an...
14

40915 Views

Postcards From the Wedge

Bart creates friction between Marge...
15

39985 Views

Stealing First Base

Bart stirs up trouble when he kisse...
16

55335 Views

The Greatest Story Ever D

Flanders attempts to redeem Homer d...
17

43741 Views

American History X-cellen

When Mr. Burns is sent to prison fo...
18

41092 Views

Chief of Hearts

After he's sentenced to perform com...
19

43166 Views

The Squirt and the Whale

Lisa comes to the aid of a whale th...
20

45043 Views

To Surveil With Love

After a bomb squad mistakenly blows...
21

41746 Views

Moe Letter Blues

As Mother's Day approaches, Homer, ...
22

45050 Views

The Bob Next Door

Bart is convinced that his new neig...
23

44107 Views

Judge Me Tender

Moe discovers a talent for judging ...

season 21 1015.6k views

Season 22

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31962 Views

Elementary School Musical

Lisa attends a performing arts camp...
2

33739 Views

Loan-A-Lisa

Lisa donates money to a microfinanc...
3

43336 Views

Money Bart

Lisa becomes the coach of Bart's Li...
4

73921 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXI

Bart and Milhouse use their videoga...
5

39072 Views

Lisa Simpson, This Isn't

Lisa decides she doesn't want to en...
6

37229 Views

The Fool Monty

When a dying Mr. Burns loses his me...
7

36767 Views

How Munched is that Birdi

The Simpsons decide to give away Sa...
8

46766 Views

The Fight Before Christma

Four Christmas tales... Bart takes ...
9

39146 Views

Donnie Fatso

Acting as an undercover informant, ...
10

40880 Views

Moms I'd Like To Forget

As Bart tries to determine the orig...
11

39145 Views

Flaming Moe

Smithers convinces Moe to turn his ...
12

41257 Views

Homer the Father

Homer uses plotlines from a 1980's ...
13

40550 Views

The Blue and the Gray

Unable to get a date for Valentine'...
14

41211 Views

Angry Dad: The Movie

When the 'Angry Dad' character is t...
15

42102 Views

The Scorpion's Tale

When Lisa discovers a wildflower th...
16

38618 Views

A Midsummer's Nice Dreams

When legendary comics Cheech and Ch...
17

40164 Views

Love is a Many Strangled

Homer enrolls in a fathering enrich...
18

44011 Views

The Great Simpsina

Lisa befriends an old magician who ...
19

41062 Views

The Housewives of Fat Ton

Fat Tony asks for Selma's hand in m...
20

45459 Views

Homer Scissorhands

Homer discovers a talent for cuttin...
21

49394 Views

500 Keys

A drawer full of old keys sparks se...
22

46066 Views

The Ned-liest Catch

Ned Flanders falls for Bart's teach...

season 22 931.9k views

Season 23

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34003 Views

The Falcon and the D'ohma

Homer attempts to help a former CIA...
2

34407 Views

Bart Stops to Smell the R

Superintendant Chalmers teaches Bar...
3

75082 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXII

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
4

35759 Views

Replaceable You

With some help from Martin Prince, ...
5

39975 Views

The Food Wife

As Homer and Marge vie for the kids...
6

39209 Views

The Book Job

After Lisa discovers that her favor...
7

39764 Views

The Man in the Blue Flann

Burns appoints Homer the nuclear po...
8

41671 Views

The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

After being fired from his popular ...
9

84520 Views

Holidays Of Future Passed

Thirty years in the future, Bart an...
10

41763 Views

Politically Inept, With H

Homer becomes a celebrity after he ...
11

43432 Views

The D'oh-cial Network

Lisa's idea for an online social ne...
12

38436 Views

Moe Goes From Rags To Ric

Moe's bar rag tells the story of hi...
13

39335 Views

The Daughter Also Rises

As Valentine's Day approaches, Marg...
14

43870 Views

At Long Last Leave

Fed up with the family's negative i...
15

43904 Views

Exit Through The Kwik-E-M

Bart becomes a famous street artist...
16

43966 Views

How I Wet Your Mother

With help from one of Professor Fri...
17

42075 Views

Them, Robot

Homer becomes the last human employ...
18

42752 Views

Beware My Cheating Bart

Bart falls for Jimbo's girlfriend S...
19

58048 Views

A Totally Fun Thing Bart

The Simpsons vacation on a cruise l...
20

45154 Views

The Spy Who Learned Me

After being injured at work, Homer ...
21

48502 Views

Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agend

Complications ensue when Flanders a...
22

46572 Views

Lisa Goes Gaga

Singer Lady Gaga attempts to cheer ...

season 23 1002.2k views

Season 24

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34086 Views

Moonshine River

Bart seeks out Cletus's daughter, w...
2

79846 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIII

In these three Halloween tales... a...
3

38248 Views

Adventures in Baby-gettin

Marge decides she wants to conceive...
4

33658 Views

Gone Abie Gone

Homer and Marge search for Grampa a...
5

35684 Views

Penny-Wiseguys

While serving jury duty, Fat Tony a...
6

41226 Views

A Tree Grows in Springfie

After his beloved new tablet "MyPad...
7

39071 Views

The Day the Earth Stood C

Homer is elated when a cool dad and...
8

47063 Views

To Cur, With Love

When Bart accuses Homer of not liki...
9

42856 Views

Homer Goes to Prep School

The Simpsons anticipate the apocaly...
10

41658 Views

A Test Before Trying

Bart must pass a district-wide test...
11

42292 Views

The Changing of the Guard

After narrowly surviving a tornado,...
12

46882 Views

Love is a Many-Splintered

Bart attempts to patch things up wi...
13

43467 Views

Hardly Kirk-ing

With Bart's help, Milhouse transfor...
14

40356 Views

Gorgeous Grampa

With encouragement from Mr. Burns, ...
15

43510 Views

Black-Eyed, Please

When Flanders gives Homer a black e...
16

46608 Views

Dark Knight Court

Bart stands trial in youth court af...
17

44363 Views

What Animated Women Want

In an episode that focuses on the c...
18

42203 Views

Pulpit Friction

Lovejoy quits the church after the ...
19

44513 Views

Whiskey Business

Moe's new suit catches the attentio...
20

44530 Views

The Fabulous Faker Boy

Bart takes piano lessons in hopes o...
21

46607 Views

The Saga of Carl

Homer, Moe and Lenny travel to Icel...
22

48293 Views

Dangers on a Train

Homer secretly reconstructs a kiddy...

season 24 967k views

Season 25

23 Episodes by popularity

1

222263 Views

Homerland

When Homer returns from a Nuclear W...
2

174401 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIV

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
3

120607 Views

Four Regrettings and a Fu

A Springfield funeral prompts Marge...
4

115852 Views

YOLO

After experiencing a midlife crisis...
5

105882 Views

Labor Pains

Homer gets trapped in an elevator w...
6

100904 Views

The Kid Is All Right

Lisa is elated to befriend Isabel, ...
7

100230 Views

Yellow Subterfuge

Bart seeks revenge after Skinner pr...
8

95062 Views

White Christmas Blues

As Christmas approaches, Marge tran...
9

96591 Views

Steal This Episode

Homer is put on trial after the FBI...
10

91824 Views

Married to the Blob

The Comic Book Guy marries a Japane...
11

93450 Views

Specs and the City

Homer uses augmented reality glasse...
12

87891 Views

Diggs

Bart befriends a fellow student and...
13

93366 Views

The Man Who Grew Too Much

Sideshow Bob genetically alters his...
14

90794 Views

The Winter of His Content

When the Simpsons allow members of ...
15

87316 Views

The War of Art

Homer convinces Marge to sell a pai...
16

87762 Views

You Don't Have to Live Li

After Lisa delivers a school report...
17

88639 Views

Luca$

Lisa falls for a competitive eater ...
18

110222 Views

Days of Future Future

Thirty years in the future, Bart tr...
19

92359 Views

What to Expect When Bart'

Bart uses voodoo in an attempt to g...
20

108463 Views

Brick Like Me

After Homer bonds with Lisa, Homer'...
21

95698 Views

Pay Pal

As Mother's Day approaches, after H...
22

89945 Views

Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Bart is overcome with guilt after a...
25

7349 Views

The Longest Daycare

A theatrical short that premiered J...

season 25 2356.9k views

Season 26

22 Episodes by popularity

1

53334 Views

Clown in the Dumps

The unthinkable happens: a Springfi...
2

39600 Views

The Wreck of the Relation

Homer and Bart set sail on the rela...
3

24551 Views

Super Franchise Me

Marge opens a sandwich shop....
4

39395 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXV

Don't miss the all-new, spooktacula...
5

18405 Views

Opposites-A-Frack

An all-new episode featuring guest ...
6

33004 Views

Simpsorama

The Simpsons travel to the 31st cen...
7

21977 Views

Blazed and Confused

Bart faces a tough test at school w...
8

17954 Views

Covercraft

Homer forms a cover band with some ...
9

18015 Views

I Won't Be Home For Chris

Marge doesn't approve of Homer's Ch...
10

18259 Views

The Man Who Came To Be Di

An amusement park ride lands the Si...
11

21675 Views

Bart's New Friend

Bart and Homer become BFF's....
12

18219 Views

The Musk Who Fell to Eart

Homer becomes muse to Elon Musk....
13

16150 Views

Walking Big and Tall

Springfield gets a new town anthem....
14

15380 Views

My Fare Lady

Marge trades in her mom-chauffeur h...
15

11443 Views

The Princess Guide

Moe plots revenge over Nigerian e-m...
16

17978 Views

Sky Police

The Springfield congregation turns ...
17

10345 Views

Waiting for Duffman

When Duffman undergoes hip replacem...
18

12220 Views

Peeping Mom

Bart lies about being involved in a...
19

13681 Views

The Kids Are All Fight

When Homer gets an old film roll de...
20

11623 Views

Let's Go Fly A Coot

The Simpsons learn about Grampa's d...
21

13985 Views

Bull-E

After Bart gets bullied at the scho...
22

30172 Views

Mathlete's Feat

When a modernized Springfield Eleme...

season 26 477.4k views

Season 27

10 Episodes by popularity

1

39591 Views

Every Man's Dream

SEASON PREMIERE. Homer and Marge ha...
2

32696 Views

Cue Detective

Scotty Boom, a Chew Network super-c...
3

29654 Views

Puffless

Upon learning that their father rea...
4

34478 Views

Halloween of Horror

Homer and Lisa hide out in the atti...
5

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x

01:06

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - living room - day)

01:06

Lance Murdock: Hey, hey! (HITTING WALL NOISE)

01:35

Announcer: Hey Lance Murdock! You just jumped 16 blazing school buses. What are you going to do now?

01:41

Lance Murdock: (IN PAIN) I'm going to Duff Gardens.

01:44

Announcer: Duff Gardens! Home of "The Whiplash."

01:49

2nd Announcer: To be completed in 1994.

Lance Murdock: (UNHAPPY SOUND)

Lance Murdock: (DOPPLER YELL)

01:58

Announcer: And "The Washing Machine"!

02:02

Homer Simpson: Wowww.

02:05

Announcer: See the happiest fish in the world at our fabulous Beerquarium!

02:21

Homer Simpson: (EXCITED, HANDING KEYS TO BART) Bart, warm up the car. We're going to Duff Gardens.

02:25

Lisa Simpson: Yayyy!

02:26

Homer Simpson: Now, what do we say when we get to the ticket booth?

02:29

Lisa Simpson: We're under six!

02:31

Homer Simpson: And I'm a college student! Heh, heh.

02:33

Marge Simpson: Kids, I have some bad news. Your Great Aunt Gladys has... passed on.

02:39

Bart Simpson: (SEARCHING MEMORY) Gladys, Gladys... `bout yay high, blue hair, big dent in her forehead?

02:45

Marge Simpson: No honey, Gladys looked more like your Aunt Patty.

02:50

Bart Simpson: Oh yeah, there she is.

02:52

Marge Simpson: The funeral's in Little Neck Falls. Looks like we'll have to go to Duff Gardens another time.

02:57

Lisa Simpson: We understand.

02:58

Bart Simpson: (SHRUGGING) No use complaining about something you can't change.

03:00

Homer Simpson: (WHINING) But I wanna go to Duff Gardens. Right now!

03:04

Marge Simpson: Oh Homer, quit pouting.

03:06

Homer Simpson: I'm not pouting. I'm... mourning. (MUTTERING) Stupid dead woman.

03:11

(SIMPSON STATION WAGON: int. simpson station wagon - day)

03:11

Bart Simpson: (SINGING) ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI... ALL COVERED WITH CHEESE... I LOST MY POOR MEATBALL...

03:16

Marge Simpson: (SHARPLY) If you don't mind! We're on our way to a funeral.

03:20

Homer Simpson: Ding-dong, the witch is dead.

03:22

Bart Simpson: (SINGING) WHICH OLD WITCH?

03:24

Homer Simpson: (SINGING) THE WICKED WITCH.

03:25

Marge Simpson: (POINTED) Homer.

03:30

Homer Simpson: (SOMBERLY) Patty. Selma. I'm sorry.

03:34

Selma Bouvier: (TO PATTY) He's hugging us. What do we do?

03:36

Patty Bouvier: (TO SELMA) Just close your eyes and think of MacGyver.

03:42

Bart Simpson: Hey Homer, this luggage is crushing me.

03:45

Homer Simpson: Hey you don't hear Lisa complaining.

03:55

(Car: Ext. car - Side View)

03:55

(SIMPSON STATION WAGON: Int. simpson station wagon - later)

03:55

Selma Bouvier: I can't believe Auntie Gladys is really gone.

03:58

Patty Bouvier: Her legend will live forever.

04:01

Homer's Thought Bubble: Yeah, the legend of the dog-faced woman!

04:04

Homer Simpson: (LAUGHING) Legend of the dog-faced woman! Oh, that's good.

04:09

Marge Simpson: (FURROWED BROW) Homer, that's very rude of you.

04:12

Homer Simpson: What? (ANNOYED GRUNT)

04:13

Selma Bouvier: Could we please stop somewhere? My butt's asleep.

04:29

(Diner: int. DINER - day)

04:29

Homer Simpson: All right, I'm almost there. (FRUSTRATED MOAN)

04:36

Waitress: (WEARY) Another placemat, sir?

04:38

Homer Simpson: (DIGNIFIED) Please.

04:39

Marge Simpson: While we're waiting for our pie, let's take a minute to remember Great Aunt Gladys.

04:54

Marge Simpson: Wait a minute. That was "Prince of Tides."

04:58

(SIMPSON STATION WAGON: int. simpson station wagon - on the highway)

04:58

Lisa Simpson: Five... six... seven... eight...

05:00

Marge Simpson: What are you kids playing?

05:05

Bart Simpson: Counting game.

05:06

Marge Simpson: That's nice.

05:07

Lisa Simpson: ... Nine... ten...

05:10

("the Lucky Stiff" Funeral Home: ext. "THE LUCKY STIFF" Funeral Home)

05:10

Reverend: He was a good man. He was a kind man. He gave to his community and asked little in return. He never...

05:21

Reverend: That's a woman? Dear Lord. (NERVOUS LAUGH) Well, I guess most of what I said can be salvaged.

05:29

Patty Bouvier: Take a seat, bozo. And that "eulogy" better not show up on the bill.

05:34

Patty Bouvier: I'll keep this short. Gladys lived alone. Died alone. I guess you could say she was a role model for Selma and me. She wasn't a rich woman... but she was rich in spirit.

05:49

Man: (DROOPY VOICE) Forgot my hat.

05:58

(FUNERAL PARLOR: int. funeral parlor - later)

05:58

Homer Simpson: Don't hassle the dead, boy. They have eerie powers.

06:00

Bart Simpson: (SHRUGS) Eh.

06:05

Homer's Brain: I thought this thing was going to be catered. Boy, am I hungry. (GETTING CHOKED UP) I mean I'm really, really hungry.

06:13

Homer Simpson: (OUT LOUD) It's just not fair, dammit!

06:22

Lisa Simpson: Goodbye, Great Aunt Gladys. (SOLEMNLY) I wish I had made more of an effort to get to know you these last few years.

06:30

Aunt Gladys's Corpse: Don't worry about it.

Lisa Simpson: (SCREAMS)

06:40

(FUNERAL PARLOR OFFICE: int. funeral parlor office - later)

06:40

Lionel Hutz: I'm Lionel Hutz, executor of Ms. Bouvier's estate. She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing this "Play" button. Pretty sweet, eh?

06:50

Aunt Gladys: I would like to start by reading a passage from Robert Frost. (OPENS BOOK) "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and...

06:55

Marge Simpson: Homer!

07:01

Homer Simpson: All in favor of skipping the poem? (RAISES HAND)

07:05

Homer Simpson: (SMUGLY) Thank you.

07:07

Aunt Gladys: And that has made all the difference... Now, let's get down to business.

07:14

HUTZ' VOICE: To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave fifty thousand dollars.

07:18

Marge Simpson: (OUTRAGED) Mr. Hutz!

07:20

MR. HUTZ: You'd be surprised how often that works. You really would!

07:23

Aunt Gladys: To Marge, I leave my collection of potato chips that resemble celebrities. They're all here. Otto Von Bismarck. Maurice Chevalier. Right up to Jay Leno.

07:34

Aunt Gladys: These chips were my children, Marjorie. Take special care of them.

07:41

Homer Simpson: Uh, oh.

07:46

Aunt Gladys: To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet iguana, Jubjub.

07:49

Jacqueline Bouvier: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her?

07:54

Aunt Gladys: To my dear, childless nieces, Patty and Selma, I leave my grandfather clock and these words: Don't die lonely, like me. Raise a family. And do it now. (VOICE RISING) Now. Now! Now! NOW!

08:10

Patty Bouvier: (NUDGING SELMA'S ARM) Hey, a grandfather clock, not bad.

08:25

(SIMPSON STATION WAGON: int. simpson station wagon - night)

08:25

Selma Bouvier: Aunt Gladys was right. There's something missing in our lives.

08:30

Patty Bouvier: Don't worry. We'll get that Barking Dog record tomorrow.

08:33

Selma Bouvier: (DETERMINED) Patty, I want a baby.

08:50

(DATING SERVICE: int. dating service - day - establishing)

08:50

Selma Bouvier: What do I do here?

08:52

Interviewer: Just tell us about yourself.

08:54

Selma Bouvier: (LIGHTING CIGARETTE) Well, I want to have a baby before it's too late (LOOKING RIGHT AT THE CAMERA) You're looking at a free lunch, boys. Come and get it. (AMOROUS GROWL)

09:07

Groundskeeper Willie: (EJECTING TAPE) Ach! Back to the Loch with ye, Nessie!

09:11

(GYPSY SHACK: ext. Gypsy shack - night)

09:11

Princess Opal: One drop of this love potion and you will have any man you desire.

09:19

Selma Bouvier: Really? What are the magical ingredients?

09:22

Princess Opal: (WITHOUT ACCENT) Mostly corn syrup, a little rubbing alcohol... you'll be lucky if it doesn't make your hair fall out, actually.

Princess Opal: (ANNOYED GRUNT, SLAPPING FOREHEAD)

09:34

(Supermarket: int. supermarket - evening)

09:34

Bag Boy: (TEENAGE VOICE) Paper or plastic?

09:36

Selma Bouvier: (BREATHY) You decide.

09:38

Selma Bouvier: (MAKING CONVERSATION) So, wearing a belt, are ya?

09:41

Bag Boy: Yep.

09:42

Selma Bouvier: No suspenders for you.

09:43

Bag Boy: I guess not.

09:46

Selma Bouvier: (RE: VEST) Orange is really your color.

09:48

Bag Boy: They make us wear this.

09:49

Selma Bouvier: Shall we continue this conversation over dinner?

09:52

Bag Boy: Uh... I'm not allowed to date customers... it's store policy.

09:56

Cashier: No it isn't.

09:57

Cashier: Ow.

09:58

Bag Boy: Shut up, Arnold.

09:59

Cashier: No, go for it, man.

10:01

(Department of Motor Vehicles: int. dmv - day)

10:01

Hans Moleman: (STRAINING) R... F... J... question mark... smiley face...

10:11

Selma Bouvier: Next! Wait a minute. (INTRIGUED) It says here you're single.

10:17

Hans Moleman: (MEEKLY) Did I do wrong?

10:19

(Restaurant: int. restaurant - night)

10:19

Hans Moleman: (STRAINING) Combed... biscuits... chicken... yellow... mailman...

10:27

Waitress #2: You're reading the wine list, sir.

10:30

Hans Moleman: Very good.

10:33

(Selma's Car: ext. selma's car - evening)

10:33

Hans Moleman: I don't know how to thank you for dinner.

10:37

Selma Bouvier: (ENTICINGLY) Use your imagination.

10:54

Selma Bouvier: Ehh! Get out of my car.

11:00

Hans Moleman: This isn't my house.

11:02

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - tv room - evening)

11:02

Announcer: Come to Duff Gardens, where roaming gangs aren't a big problem anymore. Now featuring the clean-shaven sounds of "Hooray for Everything!"

11:07

Singers: HEY KIDS / TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE / AND ALL THE RACES SING: / DOO DOO DOO / SHOO-BEE DOOBEE DOO...DO DO DO... SHOO-BEE DOOBEE DOO... YEAH!

11:23

Bart Simpson: Can we go to Duff Gardens this weekend?

11:25

Homer Simpson: Sure... unless another aunt dies.

11:28

Marge Simpson: Selma! Your date's over already?

11:31

Selma Bouvier: Yeah. I was so depressed I ate a jar of expired olives. (SITS DOWN, SIGHS) I guess I'll never have a baby.

11:40

Lisa Simpson: Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous, but have you ever considered artificial insemination?

11:45

Homer Simpson: (SNICKERING) Boy, I don't know. You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot.

11:53

Homer Simpson: I knew that.

11:54

(Cryogenics Bank: ext. CRYOGENICS BANK - DAY)

11:54

(SPERM BANK: int. sperm bank - day)

11:54

Selma Bouvier: How do I know I'm getting quality?

11:58

Sperm Doctor: Don't worry. Our donors have to pass a rigorous screening process.

12:03

Barney Gumble: (CHEERILY) All done!

12:04

Nurse: Thank you.

12:05

Barney Gumble: Always a pleasure.

12:07

Barney Gumble: What a beautiful little girl.

Baby: (Barney belch)

Babies: (BELCH) (BELCH) (BELCH)

12:15

(SELMA'S HOUSE: int. selma's house - kitchen - day)

12:15

Marge Simpson: A hundred and one frozen pops. (IMPRESSED) A Nobel Prize winner... an NBA All-Star... Ooh, one of the "Sweathogs!"

12:26

Selma Bouvier: I checked, it's not Horshack.

12:30

Marge Simpson: (DISAPPOINTED) Oh. (THEN) Are you sure you wanna have a baby this way?

12:33

Patty Bouvier: Yeah, you've had some pretty bad experiences ordering out of catalogs. Remember that mail order husband?

12:43

(Selma's Apartment: Int. selma's apartment - day)

12:43

Selma Bouvier: Ooh! You look just like your picture.

12:47

Selma Bouvier: Sorry. My mind's made up. I wanna have a kid and this is the only way I can do it.

12:53

Patty Bouvier: Why do you wanna have a baby so bad?

12:55

Selma Bouvier: I gotta lot of love to give. And right now my only outlet is my ham radio.

13:02

MAN ON RADIO: Modgreb ebn ljuobvitcher!

13:05

Marge Simpson: (TO SELMA) Are you sure you've thought this through? A child can really change your life.

13:08

Patty Bouvier: You'll have to give up smoking.

13:10

Selma Bouvier: I'll chew.

13:11

Patty Bouvier: No man'll want you.

13:13

Selma Bouvier: All I got now is sperm in a cup.

Patty Bouvier: (SEVERAL ALTERNATING WORRIED MURMURS)

13:28

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - master bedroom - dawn)

13:28

Bart Simpson: Oh great. Dad's dead.

Homer Simpson: (SICKLY MOAN)

13:34

Marge Simpson: (GASPS) Have you been eating that sandwich again?

13:37

Homer Simpson: Sand... wich...

13:41

Carl Carlson: Geez, we hardly made a dent in that ten-foot hoagie.

13:45

Homer Simpson: (PATTING HOAGIE) I'll give it a good home.

13:47

Marge Simpson: You've been eating that thing for a week. I think the mayonnaise is starting to turn.

13:53

Homer Simpson: (MOUTH FULL) Two more feet and I can fit it in the fridge.

13:56

Marge Simpson: Homer, I found this behind the radiator. I really think you should throw it away.

14:00

Homer Simpson: Suggestion noted.

14:05

Homer Simpson: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

14:08

Marge Simpson: Are you going to eat it?

14:11

Homer Simpson: (BEAT) Yes.

14:15

Marge Simpson: You look terrible.

14:17

Homer Simpson: I don't care. I'm going to Duff Gardens.

14:26

(Simpson Driveway: ext. simpson driveway - day)

14:26

Homer Simpson: (TEETH CHATTERING) S-s-o cold.

14:28

Marge Simpson: Your lips are turning blue. I think you'd better stay home.

14:33

Homer Simpson: No! (IN AGONY) Duff... Gardens... hurrah!

14:39

Marge Simpson: (TO SELMA) ... We really appreciate your taking the children on such short notice.

14:43

Selma Bouvier: We'll have fun, won't we kids?

14:45

Bart Simpson: To get to Duff Gardens, I'd ride with Satan himself.

14:48

Selma Bouvier: That's the spirit! (TO MARGE AND HOMER) See ya tonight.

14:51

Lisa Simpson: Goodbye Dad! Don't eat any solids.

14:54

Homer Simpson: (WHINING) But I love solids.

14:55

Bart Simpson: (SINCERE) It won't be any fun without you, Dad.

14:58

Lisa Simpson: Yayyy!

15:00

Homer Simpson: (TO HOAGIE) This is all your fault! (SOFTENING, HUGGING HOAGIE) Oh, how can I stay mad at you?

15:15

(Simpson Car: int. simpson car - highway - day)

15:15

Lisa Simpson: (SHOUTS) There it is!

15:17

Bart Simpson: (awed) The Duff Beeramid.

15:21

Lisa Simpson: (READS) "The Beeramid contains so much aluminum it would take five men to lift it. Twenty-two immigrant laborers died during its construction..."

15:26

Selma Bouvier: Ah, plenty more where that came from.

15:35

(Duff Gardens Entrance: ext. duff gardens entrance - day)

15:35

Lisa Simpson: (GASPS) Look! It's the Seven Duffs!

15:37

Bart Simpson: There's "Tipsy"! And there's "Queasy"!

15:40

Lisa Simpson: There's "Surly"... and "Remorseful".

15:42

Surly: Hey!

15:44

Surly: Take a picture. It'll last longer. Get outta here.

15:50

(BEER HALL OF THE PRESIDENTS: ext. beer hall of the presidents - establishing - day)

15:50

Abraham Lincoln: Four score and seven years ago, we took the finest hops and barley to brew a refreshing, full-bodied lager.

16:00

Abraham Lincoln: Ahhh. (SEGUES INTO RAP) BOOM-CHA-CHA-BOOM. I'M RAPPIN' ABIE AND I'M HERE TO SAY / IF YOU WANNA DRINK BEER DUFF'S THE ONLY WAY. I SAID THE ONLY WAY... BREAKDOWN!

16:14

Lisa Simpson: This is a disgrace.

16:16

Selma Bouvier: (PATS LISA) Settle down. Anything this bad has to be educational. (NOTICING SOMETHING) Bart!

16:22

Bart Simpson: Let's see if they wore underwear back then.

16:24

Bart Simpson: Yeah!

16:27

(Simpson Home: INT. simpson house - master bedroom - day)

16:27

Marge Simpson: Do you feel any better?

16:29

Homer Simpson: No. (SADLY) What are the odds of getting sick on a Saturday? A thousand to one.

16:34

Marge Simpson: Well, to cheer you up I rented a couple of videos. "Boxing's Greatest Weigh-Ins" and "Yentl".

16:39

Homer Simpson: Yentl? Whuzzat?

16:41

Marge Simpson: It deals with a bookish young woman's efforts to enter Rabbinical school.

16:45

Homer Simpson: (EXCITED) Sounds great!

16:46

Marge Simpson: Oh my God, you're delirious.

16:49

(Duff Garden Souvenir Shop: ext. duff garden souvenir shop - day)

16:49

Bart Simpson: (READING SIGN) "Beer Goggles - See the World Through the Eyes of a Drunk."

17:00

Bart Simpson: Wow!

17:01

Attractive Woman: (SEXY VOICE) You're charming the pants off of me.

17:03

Bart Simpson: What'd you say, Aunt Selma?

17:05

Selma Bouvier: I said take off those damn glasses!

17:07

Selma Bouvier: Oooh, this looks like fun...

17:10

Selma Bouvier: A bench! Kids, what do you say you go get your Aunt Selma a beer smoothie?

Selma Bouvier: (DISGRUNTLED NOISE)

17:26

Bart Simpson: Hey man, if the line's this long, it's gotta be good.

17:32

Worker: Get bent.

17:34

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - BEDROOM - day)

17:34

Man On Tv: (ON TV) What's going on here? Oh, Yentl. I might have known.

17:39

Homer Simpson: (ADMIRING) That Yentl puts the "she" in Yeshiva.

17:42

Marge Simpson: Hmmm, well, you've cooled down.

17:44

Homer Simpson: That's what you think (PURRS).

17:48

Marge Simpson: (GIGGLES) You know, I rented another tape... in case you felt better.

17:53

Homer Simpson: (READING TITLE) "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules."

17:56

Marge Simpson: With Norman Fell as Zeus!

17:58

Homer Simpson: Woo hoo!

18:00

(Little Land Of Duff: int. little land of duff - day)

18:00

Beer Singers: DUFF BEER FOR ME/ DUFF BEER FOR YOU/ I'LL HAVE A DUFF/ YOU HAVE ONE TOO/ DUFF BEER FOR ME/ DUFF BEER FOR YOU/ I'LL HAVE A DUFF/ YOU HAVE ONE TOO/ (REPEATS AD INFINITUM)

18:19

Bart Simpson: I want to get off.

18:20

Selma Bouvier: You can't get off. We have five more continents to visit.

18:23

Bart Simpson: Hey Lis. I dare you to drink the water.

18:26

Lisa Simpson: (NERVOUS) I'm not sure that is water.

18:28

Bart Simpson: Chicken? (MAKES CLUCKING NOISES)

18:31

Lisa Simpson: Bart, quit it, Bart. Quit it, quit it, quit it!

18:35

Selma Bouvier: (SNAPPING) Bart, be quiet. Lisa, drink the water.

Lisa Simpson: (QUEASY NOISE)

18:51

Lisa Simpson: (DELIRIOUS) They're all around me. No way out. (INSANE GIGGLE) (GRABBING SELMA'S SHOULDERS) No way out I tell you!

18:59

Selma Bouvier: What's wrong?

19:00

Selma Bouvier: Well, you just put your head right here.

19:11

Lisa Simpson: (SCARED) Aaaahhhh!!!

19:11

(Simpson Master Bedroom: int. simpson master bedroom - day)

19:11

Woman: Hercules, the cyclops tore off my clothes.

Hercules: (LAUGH FROM ANIMATIC TRACK)

19:26

(Little Land Of Duff: ext. little land of duff - day)

19:26

Selma Bouvier: (CALLING) Bart! Lisa!

19:31

(Duff Gardens: EXT. DUFF GARDENS - main STREET - DAY)

19:31

Selma Bouvier: Lisa!!

19:41

Lisa Simpson: (HUMMING WHILE DANCING) Ahhh, I can see the music.

19:48

Bart Simpson: (READING NAME TAG) Mitch, you're doing a bang-up job.

19:50

Attendant: (TEENAGE VOICE) Thank you, sir.

Bart Simpson: (CHUCKLES)

19:58

Bart Simpson: (A LITTLE WORRIED) Whoa. That isn't good.

Bart Simpson: (SCREAMS)

20:03

Bart Simpson: (HORRIFIED) STOP THE RIDE!!!

20:05

Attendant: I'll have to ask my supervisor.

20:08

Kid: (CRACKING TEENAGE VOICE) Better stop it.

20:14

Selma Bouvier: Can't you do something?

20:15

Surly: Surly only looks out for one guy. Surly.

20:18

Selma Bouvier: Sorry, Surly.

20:20

Surly: Shut up.

20:21

(SECURITY OFFICE: eXT. sECURITY oFFICE - dAY)

20:21

(Duff Gardens: int. duff gardens - security office - day)

20:21

Selma Bouvier: Don't blame these kids. It's not their fault. I think their father is missing a chromosome.

20:28

Security Man: (RE: BART) Ms. Bouvier, while we were rescuing this boy, hoodlums made off with three bumper cars.

20:41

(Freeway: Ext. Freeway - Day)

Kearney Zzyzwicz: (LAUGH)

20:41

Security Man: And I don't think George Washington will never be the same.

20:45

Washington: (MANIACALLY) Ai yi, yi, yi, yi...

20:47

Guard: We found this one swimming naked in the Fermentarium.

20:51

Lisa Simpson: I am the Lizard Queen!

20:54

Man In White Coat: Give her this... (HE HANDS SELMA A PILL) and this... (HE HANDS SELMA A DIFFERENT PILL) and then these. (HE GIVES HER TWO HANDFULS OF PILLS)

20:59

Selma Bouvier: Thank you, Doctor.

21:01

Man In White Coat: Oh, I'm not a doctor.

21:02

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - kitchen - day)

21:02

Homer Simpson: Come to Homercles.

21:07

Marge Simpson: (GIGGLES) I can't. The beans'll burn.

21:09

Homer Simpson: Homercles cares not for beans.

21:14

Homer Simpson: Hi, kids. How was Duff Gardens?

21:17

Lisa Simpson: (A LITTLE FAST) Can't talk. Comin' down.

21:20

Selma Bouvier: How do you do it, Homer?

21:24

Homer Simpson: You take an ordinary bed sheet, fold it around like this...

21:27

Selma Bouvier: No, I mean raising kids. (SHAKES HEAD) I just couldn't cut it today. (SIGHS) All I wanted was a little version of me that I could hold in my arms...

21:38

Selma Bouvier: Oh, Jubjub.

21:43

(Patty and Selma's Apartment: int. patty and selma's apartment - day - CONTINUOUS)

21:43

Patty Bouvier: When I went to pick him up, Mom was trying to stab him with a hat pin.

21:48

Selma Bouvier: Shh!

21:50

Selma Bouvier: (SINGS) You make me feel. You make me feel like a natural woman...

SEASON 4 EPISODE 13

Selma's Choice

This episode is available in 4:3 & 16:9

Selma decides to take her dead aunt's advice and have children before it is too late. ...

Producers
Al Jean
Mike Reiss

DIRECTORS
Carlos Baeza

WRITERS
David M. Stern

Read More +

CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

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Clip From S4/E13

The Witch is Dead
Clip From S4/E13

The Witch is Dead

Homer and Bart sing while driving to a funeral.
Clip From S4/E13

Aunt Gladys' Will
Clip From S4/E13

Aunt Gladys' Will

Lionel Hutz shows the Bouviers Aunt Glady's videotape will and testament.
Clip From S4/E13

Selma Dates Moleman
Clip From S4/E13

Selma Dates Moleman

A desperate Selma asks Hans Moleman out on a date.
Clip From S4/E13

Duff Gardens
Clip From S4/E13

Duff Gardens

Selma arrives back from her date while the Simpsons watch a commercial for Duff Gardens.
Clip From S4/E13

Duff Beer For Me & You
Clip From S4/E13

Duff Beer For Me & You

Lisa drinks the water on a theme park ride and hallucinates.

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