The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed | season 21 episode 16 | Simpsons World

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13 Episodes by popularity

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Bart Gets an F

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Simpson and Delilah

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Like Father, Like Clown

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I Married Marge

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Radio Bart

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Lisa the Greek

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Homer Alone

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16

65391 Views

Bart the Lover

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Homer at the Bat

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Separate Vocations

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55329 Views

Dog of Death

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55308 Views

Colonel Homer

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21

63701 Views

Black Widower

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22

57239 Views

The Otto Show

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23

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A Streetcar Named Marge

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3

62881 Views

Homer the Heretic

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Lisa the Beauty Queen

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119138 Views

Treehouse of Horror III

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59377 Views

Itchy and Scratchy: The M

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Selma's Choice

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Brother from the Same Pla

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I Love Lisa

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Duffless

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17

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Last Exit to Springfield

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So It's Come to This: A S

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The Front

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Whacking Day

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Marge in Chains

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Krusty Gets Kancelled

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Cape Feare

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3

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6

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Marge on the Lam

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Bart's Inner Child

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$pringfield (Or, How I Le

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Burns' Heir

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Sweet Seymour Skinner's B

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The Boy Who Knew Too Much

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21

66232 Views

Lady Bouvier's Lover

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22

74663 Views

Secrets of a Successful M

Marge kicks Homer out of the house ...

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25 Episodes by popularity

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61798 Views

Bart of Darkness

Bart believes he witnessed Ned Flan...
2

53720 Views

Lisa's Rival

Lisa becomes jealous when she meets...
3

41535 Views

Another Simpsons Clip Sho

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4

84367 Views

Itchy and Scratchy Land

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5

67534 Views

Sideshow Bob Roberts

Sideshow Bob runs for political off...
6

121626 Views

Treehouse of Horror V

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7

67860 Views

Bart's Girlfriend

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8

63389 Views

Lisa on Ice

Lisa joins a hockey team and finds ...
9

69183 Views

Homer Badman

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10

64623 Views

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequ

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11

61519 Views

Fear of Flying

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12

73205 Views

Homer the Great

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13

65716 Views

And Maggie Makes Three

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14

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Bart's Comet

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15

75219 Views

Homie the Clown

Homer enrolls in a clown college fr...
16

96617 Views

Bart vs. Australia

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17

66679 Views

Homer vs. Patty and Selma

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18

78662 Views

A Star Is Burns

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19

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Lisa's Wedding

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20

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Two Dozen and One Greyhou

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21

75010 Views

The PTA Disbands

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22

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'Round Springfield

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23

78642 Views

The Springfield Connectio

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24

77823 Views

Lemon of Troy

Bart and his friends march on Shelb...
25

91606 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Just about everyone in Springfield ...

season 6 1845.6k views

Season 7

25 Episodes by popularity

1

65248 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Lisa aids police with the investiga...
2

62540 Views

Radioactive Man

Hollywood producers cast Milhouse i...
3

62379 Views

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum

The Flanders gain custody of the Si...
4

67083 Views

Bart Sells His Soul

Bart sells his soul to Milhouse for...
5

71384 Views

Lisa the Vegetarian

Lisa turns vegetarian after her fam...
6

119430 Views

Treehouse of Horror VI

The Simpsons appear in three horrif...
7

82626 Views

King-Size Homer

Homer intentionally gains weight so...
8

60474 Views

Mother Simpson

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9

67270 Views

Sideshow Bob's Last Gleam

Sideshow Bob threatens to detonate ...
10

59432 Views

The Simpsons 138th Episod

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11

72521 Views

Marge Be Not Proud

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12

83796 Views

Team Homer

Homer reluctantly accepts Mr. Burns...
13

66570 Views

Two Bad Neighbors

Former President George Bush and hi...
14

60711 Views

Scenes from the Class Str

The Simpsons apply for membership a...
15

64652 Views

Bart the Fink

Krusty is arrested for massive tax ...
16

65760 Views

Lisa the Iconoclast

Lisa discovers that Jebediah Spring...
17

77955 Views

Homer the Smithers

Homer acts as Mr. Burns' assistant ...
18

61692 Views

The Day the Violence Died

Bart and Lisa come to the aid of a ...
19

71583 Views

A Fish Called Selma

Troy McClure stages a Hollywood com...
20

76631 Views

Bart on the Road

Using a fake driver's license, Bart...
21

73994 Views

22 Short Films About Spri

The lives of Springfield residents ...
22

75319 Views

Raging Abe Simpson and Hi

Grampa and Mr. Burns, the last surv...
23

70640 Views

Much Apu About Nothing

Apu faces deportation when a refere...
24

70806 Views

Homerpalooza

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25

73248 Views

Summer of 4 Ft. 2

While on summer vacation with her f...

season 7 1783.7k views

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

102919 Views

Treehouse of Horror VII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
2

72934 Views

You Only Move Twice

The Simpsons relocate to another co...
3

67630 Views

The Homer They Fall

Homer becomes a professional boxer ...
4

58816 Views

Burns, Baby Burns

With Homer's help, Mr. Burns' long-...
5

58158 Views

Bart After Dark

While Marge is out of town, Homer a...
6

61432 Views

A Milhouse Divided

When Milhouse's parents get a divor...
7

60867 Views

Lisa's Date with Density

Lisa develops a crush on bully Nels...
8

25140 Views

Hurricane Neddy

Ned Flanders suffers a breakdown af...
9

23582 Views

El Viaje Misterioso de Nu

After ingesting several Guatemalan ...
10

25066 Views

The Springfield Files

X-Files Agents Mulder and Scully in...
11

23736 Views

The Twisted World of Marg

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12

22881 Views

Mountain of Madness

Homer and Mr. Burns are buried bene...
13

20739 Views

Simpsoncalifragilisticexp

The Simpsons hire a Mary Poppins-li...
14

21917 Views

The Itchy and Scratchy an

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15

24141 Views

Homer's Phobia

Homer grows homophobic after he rea...
16

21048 Views

Brother from Another Seri

Bart fears the worst when Sideshow ...
17

20888 Views

My Sister, My Sitter

Homer and Marge allow Lisa to baby-...
18

27187 Views

Homer vs. the Eighteenth

Homer turns bootlegger when Springf...
19

22092 Views

Grade School Confidential

Bart exposes Skinner and Krabappel'...
20

27748 Views

The Canine Mutiny

Bart gives away Santa's Little Help...
21

26902 Views

The Old Man and the Lisa

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22

21509 Views

In Marge We Trust

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23

25858 Views

Homer's Enemy

A resentful, hard-working employee ...
24

30929 Views

The Simpsons Spin-Off Sho

Troy McClure hosts three spin-offs ...
25

27420 Views

The Secret War of Lisa Si

Cadets give Lisa the "silent treatm...

season 8 921.5k views

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

36677 Views

The City of New York vs.

The Simpsons journey to New York Ci...
2

26365 Views

The Principal and the Pau

A stranger claims that Principal Sk...
3

25091 Views

Lisa's Sax

Homer and Marge recount how Lisa go...
4

49303 Views

Treehouse of Horror VIII

Homer battles killer mutants after ...
5

36070 Views

The Cartridge Family

Homer purchases a handgun to protec...
6

29856 Views

Bart Star

Homer becomes coach of the Springfi...
7

25605 Views

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemap

In an effort to annul an arranged m...
8

27336 Views

Lisa the Skeptic

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9

29016 Views

Realty Bites

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10

28813 Views

Miracle on Evergreen Terr

People throughout Springfield open ...
11

22970 Views

All Singing, All Dancing

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12

28148 Views

Bart Carny

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13

34443 Views

The Joy of Sect

Marge tries her hand at deprogrammi...
14

32427 Views

Das Bus

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15

27345 Views

The Last Temptation of Kr

Krusty shuns his old routines in fa...
16

27301 Views

Dumbbell Indemnity

When Moe goes broke romancing his n...
17

29557 Views

Lisa the Simpson

Lisa fears she is genetically predi...
18

28419 Views

This Little Wiggy

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19

31714 Views

Simpson Tide

Homer becomes the captain of a Navy...
20

29961 Views

The Trouble with Trillion

When a tax audit lands him in hot w...
21

28863 Views

Girly Edition

Bart attempts to upstage Lisa when ...
22

35180 Views

Trash of the Titans

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23

30595 Views

King of the Hill

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24

27496 Views

Lost Our Lisa

Lisa gets lost in an unfamiliar par...
25

26930 Views

Natural Born Kissers

Homer and Marge discover the secret...

season 9 755.5k views

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23 Episodes by popularity

1

53927 Views

Lard of the Dance

Homer thinks he can net a fortune b...
2

18148 Views

The Wizard of Evergreen T

After realizing half his life is ov...
3

22678 Views

Bart the Mother

Bart tends to a nest filled with eg...
4

44736 Views

Treehouse of Horror IX

An evil toupee possesses Homer; Bar...
5

23113 Views

When You Dish Upon a Star

Homer befriends a group of Hollywoo...
6

24475 Views

D'oh-in' in the Wind

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7

26623 Views

Lisa Gets an 'A'

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8

25920 Views

Homer Simpson in: 'Kidney

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9

29873 Views

Mayored to the Mob

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10

30210 Views

Viva Ned Flanders

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11

29957 Views

Wild Barts Can't Be Broke

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12

26146 Views

Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

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13

29834 Views

Homer to the Max

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14

23713 Views

I'm with Cupid

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15

26537 Views

Marge Simpson in: 'Scream

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16

27448 Views

Make Room for Lisa

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17

25266 Views

Maximum Homerdrive

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18

46419 Views

Simpsons Bible Stories

While listening to one of Reverend ...
19

47501 Views

Mom and Pop Art

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20

46997 Views

The Old Man and the 'C' S

Bart must perform community service...
21

45554 Views

Monty Can't Buy Me Love

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22

48693 Views

They Saved Lisa's Brain

Lisa is invited to join Mensa; Home...
23

66829 Views

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

The Simpsons board a mega-saver fli...

season 10 790.6k views

Season 11

22 Episodes by popularity

1

20220 Views

Beyond Blunderdome

Studio executives panic when actor ...
2

39617 Views

Brother's Little Helper

Bart is diagnosed with Attention De...
3

42734 Views

Guess Who's Coming to Cri

Homer becomes the Springfield Shopp...
4

70734 Views

Treehouse of Horror X

Homer's Y2K error plunges the Earth...
5

47891 Views

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)

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6

41813 Views

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadde

Homer becomes an instant celebrity ...
7

37869 Views

Eight Misbehavin'

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8

38742 Views

Take My Wife, Sleaze

Homer wins a vintage motorcycle dur...
9

49864 Views

Grift of the Magi

As the Christmas holiday approaches...
10

45833 Views

Little Big Mom

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11

41139 Views

Faith Off

Bart believes he has the power to h...
12

43268 Views

The Mansion Family

The Simpsons care for Burns' mansio...
13

39750 Views

Saddlesore Galactica

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14

46168 Views

Alone Again Natura-Diddil

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15

55039 Views

Missionary Impossible

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16

56884 Views

Pygmoelian

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17

71785 Views

Bart to the Future

A Native American casino manager sh...
18

53190 Views

Days of Wine and D'Ohses

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19

56065 Views

Kill the Alligator and Ru

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20

52536 Views

Last Tap Dance in Springf

After watching a movie about a sexy...
21

61102 Views

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad

When Otto ditches his fiancée at t...
22

102101 Views

Behind the Laughter

This 'behind-the-scenes' special ch...

season 11 1114.3k views

Season 12

21 Episodes by popularity

1

81467 Views

Treehouse of Horror XI

On Halloween... a deceased Homer mu...
2

41741 Views

A Tale of Two Springfield

The townspeople of Springfield divi...
3

43413 Views

Insane Clown Poppy

Krusty discovers that he fathered a...
4

39278 Views

Lisa the Treehugger

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5

44550 Views

Homer vs. Dignity

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6

51723 Views

The Computer Wore Menace

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7

50109 Views

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Homer and Bart become scam artists ...
8

62195 Views

Skinner's Sense of Snow

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9

93486 Views

HOMR

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10

48423 Views

Pokey Mom

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11

53020 Views

Worst Episode Ever

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12

57834 Views

Tennis the Menace

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13

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Day of the Jackanapes

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14

56901 Views

New Kids on the Blecch

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15

53663 Views

Hungry Hungry Homer

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16

48973 Views

Bye Bye Nerdy

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17

63523 Views

Simpson Safari

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18

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Trilogy of Error

A day in the life of the Simpsons r...
19

52781 Views

I'm Goin' to Praise Land

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20

54974 Views

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21

55043 Views

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The Simpsons jump a train, and meet...

season 12 1163.9k views

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6

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7

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Brawl in the Family

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8

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9

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10

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11

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16

61011 Views

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17

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18

77534 Views

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19

51329 Views

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20

51296 Views

Little Girl in the Big Te

Lisa is overjoyed when she befriend...
21

54048 Views

Frying Game

Homer and Marge become murder suspe...
22

59553 Views

Papa's Got a Brand New Ba

When Wiggum and his men prove ineff...

season 13 1170.1k views

Season 14

22 Episodes by popularity

1

81815 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIII

On Halloween, Homer's evil hammock ...
2

36210 Views

How I Spent My Strummer V

When a hidden camera tapes Homer la...
3

41127 Views

Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Gra

Bart and Lisa are horrified when th...
4

52113 Views

Large Marge

Marge's life changes dramatically w...
5

45897 Views

Helter Shelter

When the Simpson house undergoes fu...
6

54097 Views

The Great Louse Detective

When someone attempts to murder Hom...
7

42687 Views

Special Edna

When Bart gets Mrs. Krabappel nomin...
8

47436 Views

The Dad Who Knew Too Litt

Homer hires a shady private investi...
9

50054 Views

The Strong Arms of The Ma

When Marge is mugged at the Kwik-E-...
10

47018 Views

Pray Anything

Inspired by Ned Flanders, Homer tur...
11

51229 Views

Barting Over

When Bart discovers the existence o...
12

44750 Views

I'm Spelling as Fast as I

When Lisa becomes a finalist in a s...
13

44162 Views

A Star is Born-Again

A Hollywood movie star takes a roma...
14

46300 Views

Mr. Spritz Goes To Washin

When Springfield Airport changes th...
15

47604 Views

C.E.D'oh

On Valentine's Day, Homer attends a...
16

46635 Views

'Scuse Me While I Miss Th

As a British filmmaker makes a docu...
17

71588 Views

Three Gays of the Condo

Homer moves in with a gay couple af...
18

62029 Views

Dude, Where's My Ranch?

While vacationing at a dude ranch, ...
19

47262 Views

Old Yeller-Belly

When Santa's Little Helper becomes ...
20

50596 Views

Brake My Wife, Please

When Homer loses his driver's licen...
21

51863 Views

The Bart of War

After police discover Bart and Milh...
22

48958 Views

Moe Baby Blues

When Moe saves baby Maggie's life, ...

season 14 1111.4k views

Season 15

22 Episodes by popularity

1

77651 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIV

On Halloween, Homer takes over for ...
2

34553 Views

My Mother the Carjacker

Mother Simpson is captured by polic...
3

40308 Views

The President Wore Pearls

When Lisa is elected student body p...
4

55454 Views

The Regina Monologues

The Simpsons travel to England, whe...
5

40291 Views

The Fat and the Furriest

Homer becomes the laughing stock of...
6

40717 Views

Today I am a Clown

When Krusty takes the Sabbath off s...
7

39371 Views

'Tis the Fifteenth Season

As Christmas approaches, Homer disc...
8

45497 Views

Marge vs. Singles, Senior

Marge opposes a political group mad...
9

42025 Views

I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot

Homer builds a fighting robot for B...
10

43966 Views

Diatribe of a Mad Housewi

Homer buys an ambulance and starts ...
11

43202 Views

Margical History Tour

Marge tells the children three hist...
12

48511 Views

Milhouse Doesn't Live Her

When Milhouse and his mother reloca...
13

46395 Views

Smart & Smarter

Lisa searches for a new identity wh...
14

43537 Views

The Ziff Who Came to Dinn

Homer becomes the majority sharehol...
15

45200 Views

Co-Dependent's Day

When a drunken Homer loses control ...
16

45445 Views

The Wandering Juvie

Bart's latest prank lands him in ju...
17

45106 Views

My Big Fat Geek Wedding

Mrs. Krabappel dumps Principal Skin...
18

47584 Views

Catch 'Em If You Can

Bart and Lisa pursue Homer and Marg...
19

48322 Views

Simple Simpson

Homer confronts evildoers in the fo...
20

45940 Views

The Way We Weren't

Homer reveals that Marge wasn't the...
21

48121 Views

Bart-Mangled Banner

The Simpsons are thrown in prison a...
22

48644 Views

Fraudcast News

Mr. Burns buys up all the media out...

season 15 1015.8k views

Season 16

21 Episodes by popularity

1

79496 Views

Treehouse of Horror XV

On Halloween... Flanders can predic...
2

40795 Views

All's Fair in Oven War

Marge enters a bakeoff competition,...
3

41228 Views

Sleeping with the Enemy

Lisa becomes self-conscious about h...
4

38366 Views

She Used to Be My Girl

Marge wonders if she made the right...
5

43586 Views

Fat Man and Little Boy

Homer builds a nuclear reactor for ...
6

42130 Views

Midnight Rx

Homer and Grampa smuggle drugs out ...
7

44249 Views

Mommie Beerest

Homer mortgages his house to save M...
8

42562 Views

Homer and Ned's Hail Mary

After teaching famous athletes some...
9

42212 Views

Pranksta Rap

After sneaking off to a rap concert...
10

44758 Views

There's Something About M

When tourists shun Springfield, the...
11

45323 Views

On a Clear Day I Can't Se

After Bart torments his sister duri...
12

60057 Views

Goo Goo Gai Pan

Homer pretends to be Selma's husban...
13

47294 Views

Mobile Homer

Bart and Lisa attempt to save Homer...
14

46765 Views

The Seven-Beer Snitch

Homer becomes a prison snitch after...
15

66006 Views

Future-Drama

Using Professor Frink's astrologica...
16

44601 Views

Don't Fear the Roofer

Homer ends up in a mental instituti...
17

53928 Views

The Heartbroke Kid

Bart has a heart attack after he be...
18

51145 Views

A Star is Torn

Homer behaves like a domineering st...
19

49577 Views

Thank God It's Doomsday

Homer is declared a prophet after h...
20

49178 Views

Home Away From Homer

Flanders feels like a fool after so...
21

49093 Views

The Father, The Son, and

After Bart gets expelled, he's enro...

season 16 1022.3k views

Season 17

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31665 Views

The Bonfire of the Manate

When Homer allows the mob to film a...
2

36882 Views

The Girl Who Slept Too Li

Lisa must confront her darkest fear...
3

36285 Views

MIlhouse of Sand and Fog

After Kirk and Luann rekindle their...
4

83841 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVI

On Halloween, Bart is replaced by a...
5

39565 Views

Marge's Son Poisoning

After spending time with her son, M...
6

40524 Views

See Homer Run

After winning popularity as the Saf...
7

38503 Views

The Last of the Red Hat M

A lonely Marge joins a women's grou...
8

61582 Views

The Italian Bob

The Simpsons travel to Italy to ret...
9

45482 Views

Simpsons Christmas Storie

The Simpsons appear in three Christ...
10

39214 Views

Homer's Paternity Coot

When an old letter is delivered to ...
11

42589 Views

We're on the Road to D'oh

After Bart gets into trouble at sch...
12

43566 Views

My Fair Laddy

Lisa vows to turn Groundskeeper Wil...
13

65036 Views

The Seemingly Never-Endin

When the Simpsons become trapped in...
14

44021 Views

Bart Has Two Mommies

Marge teaches Rod and Todd Flanders...
15

43169 Views

Homer Simpson, This is Yo

Marge swaps places with a British w...
16

43658 Views

Million Dollar Abie

After costing Springfield a profess...
17

58254 Views

Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore

Mr. Burns closes the nuclear power ...
18

44156 Views

The Wettest Stories Ever

The Simpsons appear in three storie...
19

48078 Views

Girls Just Want to Have S

After Skinner is fired for insinuat...
20

45894 Views

Regarding Margie

After Marge develops amnesia and ca...
21

48907 Views

The Monkey Suit

Lisa protests when Springfield pass...
22

44848 Views

Marge and Homer Turn a Co

Homer and Marge play marriage couns...

season 17 1025.7k views

Season 18

22 Episodes by popularity

1

36693 Views

The Mook, the Chef, the W

Lisa befriends the son of mobster F...
2

33783 Views

Jazzy and the Pussycats

Lisa grows jealous after Bart disco...
3

39351 Views

Please Homer, Don't Hamme

Marge starts her own carpentry busi...
4

81604 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
5

41552 Views

G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)

After Homer joins the Army, he's se...
6

36597 Views

Moe 'N' a Lisa

Lisa helps Moe get a poem published...
7

41385 Views

Ice Cream of Margie (With

Homer finds happiness after he buys...
8

40546 Views

The Haw-Hawed Couple

Bart becomes Nelson's best friend; ...
9

49224 Views

Kill Gil (Parts I & II)

During the Christmas holiday, Marge...
10

40990 Views

The Wife Aquatic

Marge returns to an island where sh...
11

66683 Views

Revenge is a Dish Best Se

The Simpsons spin three tales of re...
12

55281 Views

Little Big Girl

As Multicultural Day approaches, Li...
13

45328 Views

Springfield Up

In this spoof of the 'Up' documenta...
14

44279 Views

Yokel Chords

Lisa tutors Cletus's children - unt...
15

42193 Views

Rome-old and Juli-eh

Homer is horrified when his father ...
16

43744 Views

Homerazzi

Homer tries his hand at making mone...
17

48380 Views

Marge Gamer

After discovering the Internet, Mar...
18

53731 Views

The Boys of Bummer

Bart becomes the shame of Springfie...
19

46474 Views

Crook and Ladder

Homer and his friends join the volu...
20

44844 Views

Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot

When Santa's Little Helper gets a j...
21

45714 Views

24 Minutes

In this spoof of the television ser...
22

48249 Views

You Kent Always Say What

Kent Brockman accidentally utters a...

season 18 1026.6k views

Season 19

20 Episodes by popularity

1

34939 Views

He Loves To Fly And He D'

Marge hires a life coach to turn Ho...
2

33976 Views

Homer of Seville

Homer becomes an opera star, only t...
3

35469 Views

Midnight Towboy

Homer makes enemies when he starts ...
4

35003 Views

I Don't Wanna Know Why th

Marge fears for her safety after br...
5

81740 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVIII

In three tales of Halloween terror:...
6

39449 Views

Little Orphan Millie

When his parents are lost at sea an...
7

42937 Views

Husbands and Knives

After Marge launches a gym for 'reg...
8

48383 Views

Funeral for a Fiend

After another of his attempts to ki...
9

43362 Views

Eternal Moonshine of the

Homer wakes up from a blackout only...
10

44791 Views

E. Pluribus Wiggum

When Springfield becomes the first ...
11

43955 Views

That 90's Show

Marge and Homer recount how Marge a...
12

40804 Views

Love, Springfieldian Styl

When Homer and Marge become trapped...
13

42928 Views

The Debarted

Bart befriends a new kid at school,...
14

42778 Views

Dial 'N' for Nerder

Bart and Lisa think they killed Mar...
15

42984 Views

Smoke on the Daughter

Lisa becomes addicted to secondhand...
16

39761 Views

Papa Don't Leech

Marge and Homer aid country singer ...
17

41822 Views

Apocalypse Cow

Bart is overjoyed when the calf he'...
18

42892 Views

Any Given Sundance

Lisa's documentary about life with ...
19

40485 Views

Mona Leaves-a

When Homer's mother returns to Spri...
20

46646 Views

All About Lisa

Krusty hires Lisa to be his intern,...

season 19 865.1k views

Season 20

21 Episodes by popularity

1

39973 Views

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrap

Homer and Flanders team-up as bount...
2

35803 Views

Lost Verizon

When Bart steals actor Denis Leary'...
3

47930 Views

Double, Double, Boy in Tr

Bart swaps places with his exact do...
4

79948 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIX

On Halloween... Transformer-like ro...
5

46439 Views

Dangerous Curves

In a series of flashbacks... Homer ...
6

38076 Views

Homer and Lisa Exchange C

When Lisa discovers a talent for so...
7

38752 Views

Mypods and Boomsticks

Homer thinks Bart's new Muslim frie...
8

37883 Views

The Burns and the Bees

As Lisa tries to find a habitat for...
9

38072 Views

Lisa the Drama Queen

Lisa's new best friend creates a fa...
10

40237 Views

Take My Life, Please

When Homer discovers that he was al...
11

40774 Views

How the Test Was Won

Lisa freezes during a federal schoo...
12

41295 Views

No Loan Again, Naturally

When Homer and Marge's adjustable m...
13

42104 Views

Gone Maggie Gone

In this 'National Treasure'-like st...
14

54544 Views

In the Name of the Grandf

The Simpsons travel to Ireland, whe...
15

42364 Views

Wedding for Disaster

When their marriage license turns o...
16

41164 Views

Eeny Teeny Maya Moe

Moe meets a beautiful woman in an I...
17

45212 Views

The Good, The Sad, and Th

Bart dumps Milhouse in favor of a c...
18

43186 Views

Father Knows Worst

As a result of Homer's "helicopter ...
19

46413 Views

Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'o

Homer and Marge rent an apartment i...
20

45311 Views

Four Great Women and a Ma

As Marge and Lisa have their nails ...
21

49674 Views

Coming To Homerica

Springfield grapples with an immigr...

season 20 935.2k views

Season 21

23 Episodes by popularity

1

36664 Views

Homer the Whopper

Homer ends up with a superhero's ph...
2

36475 Views

Bart Gets A 'Z'

Principal Skinner fires Mrs. Krabap...
3

41891 Views

The Great Wife Hope

Marge vows to drive mixed martial a...
4

77112 Views

Treehouse of Horror XX

Classic movie monsters are attacked...
5

40027 Views

The Devil Wears Nada

Homer's life turns into nonstop mis...
6

39199 Views

Pranks and Greens

Skinner tells Bart about a former S...
7

37296 Views

Rednecks and Broomsticks

Lisa befriends a group of Wiccans w...
8

37898 Views

O Brother, Where Bart Tho

Bart attempts to get Homer and Marg...
9

35574 Views

Thursdays with Abie

Homer becomes jealous when a report...
10

42028 Views

Once Upon A Time in Sprin

Krusty ends up playing second fiddl...
11

39733 Views

Million Dollar Maybe

Homer wins a million-dollar lottery...
12

62732 Views

Boy Meets Curl

The Simpsons head to the Winter Oly...
13

48817 Views

The Color Yellow

Lisa discovers that her Southern an...
14

40915 Views

Postcards From the Wedge

Bart creates friction between Marge...
15

39985 Views

Stealing First Base

Bart stirs up trouble when he kisse...
16

55335 Views

The Greatest Story Ever D

Flanders attempts to redeem Homer d...
17

43741 Views

American History X-cellen

When Mr. Burns is sent to prison fo...
18

41092 Views

Chief of Hearts

After he's sentenced to perform com...
19

43166 Views

The Squirt and the Whale

Lisa comes to the aid of a whale th...
20

45043 Views

To Surveil With Love

After a bomb squad mistakenly blows...
21

41746 Views

Moe Letter Blues

As Mother's Day approaches, Homer, ...
22

45050 Views

The Bob Next Door

Bart is convinced that his new neig...
23

44107 Views

Judge Me Tender

Moe discovers a talent for judging ...

season 21 1015.6k views

Season 22

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31962 Views

Elementary School Musical

Lisa attends a performing arts camp...
2

33739 Views

Loan-A-Lisa

Lisa donates money to a microfinanc...
3

43336 Views

Money Bart

Lisa becomes the coach of Bart's Li...
4

73921 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXI

Bart and Milhouse use their videoga...
5

39072 Views

Lisa Simpson, This Isn't

Lisa decides she doesn't want to en...
6

37229 Views

The Fool Monty

When a dying Mr. Burns loses his me...
7

36767 Views

How Munched is that Birdi

The Simpsons decide to give away Sa...
8

46766 Views

The Fight Before Christma

Four Christmas tales... Bart takes ...
9

39146 Views

Donnie Fatso

Acting as an undercover informant, ...
10

40880 Views

Moms I'd Like To Forget

As Bart tries to determine the orig...
11

39145 Views

Flaming Moe

Smithers convinces Moe to turn his ...
12

41257 Views

Homer the Father

Homer uses plotlines from a 1980's ...
13

40550 Views

The Blue and the Gray

Unable to get a date for Valentine'...
14

41211 Views

Angry Dad: The Movie

When the 'Angry Dad' character is t...
15

42102 Views

The Scorpion's Tale

When Lisa discovers a wildflower th...
16

38618 Views

A Midsummer's Nice Dreams

When legendary comics Cheech and Ch...
17

40164 Views

Love is a Many Strangled

Homer enrolls in a fathering enrich...
18

44011 Views

The Great Simpsina

Lisa befriends an old magician who ...
19

41062 Views

The Housewives of Fat Ton

Fat Tony asks for Selma's hand in m...
20

45459 Views

Homer Scissorhands

Homer discovers a talent for cuttin...
21

49394 Views

500 Keys

A drawer full of old keys sparks se...
22

46066 Views

The Ned-liest Catch

Ned Flanders falls for Bart's teach...

season 22 931.9k views

Season 23

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34003 Views

The Falcon and the D'ohma

Homer attempts to help a former CIA...
2

34407 Views

Bart Stops to Smell the R

Superintendant Chalmers teaches Bar...
3

75082 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXII

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
4

35759 Views

Replaceable You

With some help from Martin Prince, ...
5

39975 Views

The Food Wife

As Homer and Marge vie for the kids...
6

39209 Views

The Book Job

After Lisa discovers that her favor...
7

39764 Views

The Man in the Blue Flann

Burns appoints Homer the nuclear po...
8

41671 Views

The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

After being fired from his popular ...
9

84520 Views

Holidays Of Future Passed

Thirty years in the future, Bart an...
10

41763 Views

Politically Inept, With H

Homer becomes a celebrity after he ...
11

43432 Views

The D'oh-cial Network

Lisa's idea for an online social ne...
12

38436 Views

Moe Goes From Rags To Ric

Moe's bar rag tells the story of hi...
13

39335 Views

The Daughter Also Rises

As Valentine's Day approaches, Marg...
14

43870 Views

At Long Last Leave

Fed up with the family's negative i...
15

43904 Views

Exit Through The Kwik-E-M

Bart becomes a famous street artist...
16

43966 Views

How I Wet Your Mother

With help from one of Professor Fri...
17

42075 Views

Them, Robot

Homer becomes the last human employ...
18

42752 Views

Beware My Cheating Bart

Bart falls for Jimbo's girlfriend S...
19

58048 Views

A Totally Fun Thing Bart

The Simpsons vacation on a cruise l...
20

45154 Views

The Spy Who Learned Me

After being injured at work, Homer ...
21

48502 Views

Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agend

Complications ensue when Flanders a...
22

46572 Views

Lisa Goes Gaga

Singer Lady Gaga attempts to cheer ...

season 23 1002.2k views

Season 24

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34086 Views

Moonshine River

Bart seeks out Cletus's daughter, w...
2

79846 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIII

In these three Halloween tales... a...
3

38248 Views

Adventures in Baby-gettin

Marge decides she wants to conceive...
4

33658 Views

Gone Abie Gone

Homer and Marge search for Grampa a...
5

35684 Views

Penny-Wiseguys

While serving jury duty, Fat Tony a...
6

41226 Views

A Tree Grows in Springfie

After his beloved new tablet "MyPad...
7

39071 Views

The Day the Earth Stood C

Homer is elated when a cool dad and...
8

47063 Views

To Cur, With Love

When Bart accuses Homer of not liki...
9

42856 Views

Homer Goes to Prep School

The Simpsons anticipate the apocaly...
10

41658 Views

A Test Before Trying

Bart must pass a district-wide test...
11

42292 Views

The Changing of the Guard

After narrowly surviving a tornado,...
12

46882 Views

Love is a Many-Splintered

Bart attempts to patch things up wi...
13

43467 Views

Hardly Kirk-ing

With Bart's help, Milhouse transfor...
14

40356 Views

Gorgeous Grampa

With encouragement from Mr. Burns, ...
15

43510 Views

Black-Eyed, Please

When Flanders gives Homer a black e...
16

46608 Views

Dark Knight Court

Bart stands trial in youth court af...
17

44363 Views

What Animated Women Want

In an episode that focuses on the c...
18

42203 Views

Pulpit Friction

Lovejoy quits the church after the ...
19

44513 Views

Whiskey Business

Moe's new suit catches the attentio...
20

44530 Views

The Fabulous Faker Boy

Bart takes piano lessons in hopes o...
21

46607 Views

The Saga of Carl

Homer, Moe and Lenny travel to Icel...
22

48293 Views

Dangers on a Train

Homer secretly reconstructs a kiddy...

season 24 967k views

Season 25

23 Episodes by popularity

1

222263 Views

Homerland

When Homer returns from a Nuclear W...
2

174401 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIV

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
3

120607 Views

Four Regrettings and a Fu

A Springfield funeral prompts Marge...
4

115852 Views

YOLO

After experiencing a midlife crisis...
5

105882 Views

Labor Pains

Homer gets trapped in an elevator w...
6

100904 Views

The Kid Is All Right

Lisa is elated to befriend Isabel, ...
7

100230 Views

Yellow Subterfuge

Bart seeks revenge after Skinner pr...
8

95062 Views

White Christmas Blues

As Christmas approaches, Marge tran...
9

96591 Views

Steal This Episode

Homer is put on trial after the FBI...
10

91824 Views

Married to the Blob

The Comic Book Guy marries a Japane...
11

93450 Views

Specs and the City

Homer uses augmented reality glasse...
12

87891 Views

Diggs

Bart befriends a fellow student and...
13

93366 Views

The Man Who Grew Too Much

Sideshow Bob genetically alters his...
14

90794 Views

The Winter of His Content

When the Simpsons allow members of ...
15

87316 Views

The War of Art

Homer convinces Marge to sell a pai...
16

87762 Views

You Don't Have to Live Li

After Lisa delivers a school report...
17

88639 Views

Luca$

Lisa falls for a competitive eater ...
18

110222 Views

Days of Future Future

Thirty years in the future, Bart tr...
19

92359 Views

What to Expect When Bart'

Bart uses voodoo in an attempt to g...
20

108463 Views

Brick Like Me

After Homer bonds with Lisa, Homer'...
21

95698 Views

Pay Pal

As Mother's Day approaches, after H...
22

89945 Views

Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Bart is overcome with guilt after a...
25

7349 Views

The Longest Daycare

A theatrical short that premiered J...

season 25 2356.9k views

Season 26

22 Episodes by popularity

1

53334 Views

Clown in the Dumps

The unthinkable happens: a Springfi...
2

39600 Views

The Wreck of the Relation

Homer and Bart set sail on the rela...
3

24551 Views

Super Franchise Me

Marge opens a sandwich shop....
4

39395 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXV

Don't miss the all-new, spooktacula...
5

18405 Views

Opposites-A-Frack

An all-new episode featuring guest ...
6

33004 Views

Simpsorama

The Simpsons travel to the 31st cen...
7

21977 Views

Blazed and Confused

Bart faces a tough test at school w...
8

17954 Views

Covercraft

Homer forms a cover band with some ...
9

18015 Views

I Won't Be Home For Chris

Marge doesn't approve of Homer's Ch...
10

18259 Views

The Man Who Came To Be Di

An amusement park ride lands the Si...
11

21675 Views

Bart's New Friend

Bart and Homer become BFF's....
12

18219 Views

The Musk Who Fell to Eart

Homer becomes muse to Elon Musk....
13

16150 Views

Walking Big and Tall

Springfield gets a new town anthem....
14

15380 Views

My Fare Lady

Marge trades in her mom-chauffeur h...
15

11443 Views

The Princess Guide

Moe plots revenge over Nigerian e-m...
16

17978 Views

Sky Police

The Springfield congregation turns ...
17

10345 Views

Waiting for Duffman

When Duffman undergoes hip replacem...
18

12220 Views

Peeping Mom

Bart lies about being involved in a...
19

13681 Views

The Kids Are All Fight

When Homer gets an old film roll de...
20

11623 Views

Let's Go Fly A Coot

The Simpsons learn about Grampa's d...
21

13985 Views

Bull-E

After Bart gets bullied at the scho...
22

30172 Views

Mathlete's Feat

When a modernized Springfield Eleme...

season 26 477.4k views

Season 27

10 Episodes by popularity

1

39591 Views

Every Man's Dream

SEASON PREMIERE. Homer and Marge ha...
2

32696 Views

Cue Detective

Scotty Boom, a Chew Network super-c...
3

29654 Views

Puffless

Upon learning that their father rea...
4

34478 Views

Halloween of Horror

Homer and Lisa hide out in the atti...
5

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x

00:35

(Flanders Home: EXT. flanders house - day - establishing)

00:35

Ned Flanders: Thank you all for coming.

00:36

Ned Flanders: Now let's start with the words everyone loves to hear: "Welcome to Bible study!"

00:36

Ned Flanders: Today, my readin' ribbon's smack dab in the middle of Matthew twenty-three.

00:45

Ned Flanders: Now let us "download" the holy "tweet" of the Lord.

00:48

Agnes Skinner: Stop making this relatable!

00:50

Jimbo Jones: Hey, as a youth, if I don't hear a computer word every couple sentences, I am outta here.

00:56

Ned Flanders: (TO JIMBO) Duly noted. But we will make sure not to dilute the sacred gospel.

01:01

Ned Flanders: (PANICKY) Mouse pad! Double click! Skyyype! (DESPERATE) Uh, Skyyype! (CLEARS THROAT) Matthew twenty-three: (READS FROM BIBLE) "Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, saying--"

01:06

Homer Simpson: Hey, my bathing suit came off!

Homer Simpson: (HAPPY SLIDING NOISES)

01:19

Homer Simpson: Hey, it floats!

01:21

Ned Flanders: (WEARY SIGH) I'll handle this.

01:26

(Simpson Home: Ext. Simpson house - backyard - continuous)

01:26

Lisa Simpson: Schnell! Schnell!

Homer Simpson: (LONG WHOOP AS HE SLIDES DOWN SLIP 'N' SLIDE)

01:33

Ned Flanders: Homer Simpson! You are the most infuriating, Netflix-D.V.D.-burgling, barbecue-not-putting-out...

Owl: (WOOZY HOOT)

01:42

Ned Flanders: ...man I ever met!

01:43

Homer Simpson: Hold that thought.

Homer Simpson: (DOG-LIKE SHAKING NOISES)

Ned Flanders: (EXASPERATED NOISE)

01:47

(Flanders Home: Int. Flanders home - moments later)

01:47

Ned Flanders: That man is beyond redemption!

01:50

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: (SAGELY) That might seem to be true...

01:52

Ned Flanders: I sense a "but" coming, Reverend...

01:53

Homer Simpson: Here comes the butt!

01:56

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: But I think you're up to the challenge, Ned.

02:00

Ned Flanders: Oh Reverend, I've been workin' my bible to the bone tryin' to save that man.

02:04

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: You know, Ned, God has never given up on anyone.

02:06

Ned Flanders: What about Sodom and Gomorrah?

02:08

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: (ANNOYED) He lovingly destroyed them. (THOUGHTFUL) Instead of pushing Homer away, can't you find a way to reach out and bring him in?

Homer Simpson: (AD-LIB NATIVE CHANTING)

02:34

(Simpson Backyard: ext. simpson backyard - moments later)

02:34

Ned Flanders: (AFFECTIONATE) Homer? Homer?

02:38

Ned Flanders: (CLEARS THROAT, THEN SAYS:) Y'know, our bible study group is going to the Holy Land next month. (DEEP BREATH) I'd like you and your family to come as my guests.

02:45

Homer Simpson: (EVER-GROWING SARCASM) Hmm, let me think... take my family to a war zone... on a bus filled with religious lame-os... in a country with no pork... in a desert with no casinos... (EXTREME SARCASM) ooh, where do I sign up?

03:03

Marge Simpson: Homer, I can hear your sarcasm from inside the house -- and the dishwasher's on! What's going on here?

03:09

Lisa Simpson: Mr. Flanders invited us to Israel. I think he wants to get Dad into Heaven.

03:13

Bart Simpson: (RUBS HANDS TOGETHER) Great -- more hell for me!

Bart Simpson: (CHUCKLES)

03:13

Marge Simpson: Ned Flanders, you would take our family to the Holy Land just to try to make my husband a better man?

03:23

Ned Flanders: Yep. I also want to try something called "pita bread."

03:23

Marge Simpson: Well, we will take you up on your offer.

Homer Simpson: (MOANS)

03:29

Marge Simpson: But we insist on paying our own way.

Homer Simpson: (BIGGER MOAN)

03:33

Marge Simpson: And Homer, put on some pants.

Homer Simpson: (EVEN BIGGER MOAN)

03:37

Lisa Simpson: (SHAKES HEAD) The man hates pants.

03:51

(Jerusalem: ext. jerusalem - day - establishing)

03:51

Airport Workers: (CHEERING) L'chaim!

03:53

(Airport: Int. airport - hallway - day)

03:53

Marge Simpson: Homie, just tell them what they wanna hear!

03:56

Homer Simpson: I can't! Latkes aren't as good as American pancakes.

04:00

Homer Simpson: (TIGHTLY, IN PAIN) They're okay with applesauce.

04:02

Israeli Airline Guard: True enough.

04:07

Homer Simpson: (TAUNTING) A truckload of applesauce!

04:15

(Ben Gurion Airport: INT. BEN GURION AIRPORT - continuous)

04:15

Lisa Simpson: Krusty, I've been meaning to ask, what are you doing on this tour?

04:19

Krusty the Clown: I believe that every Jew should make a pilgrimage to Israel before he dies.

04:24

Lisa Simpson: Yes, it is fitting.

04:26

Krusty the Clown: (CHUCKLES) Don't wanna end up in Hell.

04:28

Lisa Simpson: Jews don't believe in Hell.

04:29

Krusty the Clown: (HAPPILY) No Hell? Thank you, kid, you made my day!

04:45

(Jerusalem: ext. jerusalem - day)

04:45

Manager: You're being paid to clean the gutters!

04:51

(Hotel Lobby: int. HOTEL LOBBY - continuous)

04:51

Marge Simpson: This country's so historic -- for all we know, Jesus could have given a talk in Conference Room C. (GESTURES TO GENERIC CONFERENCE ROOM)

04:59

Jakob: Welcome, welcome!

05:01

Jakob: (IMPATIENT, RAPID-FIRE) My name is Jacob. You may notice I speak the English with a slight accent. This is because as you have probably guessed, I used to live in London, and that is why I sound like Hugh Grant.

05:14

Jakob: Come on, let's go. We've got a lot of holy sites to see, yallah! We finish early, we go to jewelry store owned by my cousins.

Bible Group: (POLITE LAUGHS)

05:22

Jakob: (CUTTING THEM OFF) No joke, is true, great prices, you got to haggle otherwise they don't respect you! Come on, let's go!

05:28

Marge Simpson: Do you have any safety tips?

05:29

Jakob: What are you talking about? Israel is the safest country in the world. The only danger here is dehydration. Drink water. Don't die, looks bad on me. Come on, shut your face. Let's go.

05:39

Marge Simpson: But it says here in the brochure...

05:41

Jakob: Brochure? Brochure? Brochure? Who wrote your brochure? The same schmuck who wrote The New Testament? I can't talk to you. You talk to my niece, Doreet.

05:50

Jakob: Doreet, talk to the stupids.

05:52

DOREET: Shalom, goyem!

05:53

Marge Simpson: Shalom to you! (TO BERNICE) Shalom is the "aloha" of this place.

05:58

Jakob: Okay, okay, lady. You done talking now. Who is licensed tour guide here, you or me? Now, everybody, we have no time to see Masada. Everybody died there for nothing. Okay, first stop: Old City. Come on, let's go, please shut your face!

06:11

Ned Flanders: (EXCITED GASP) The Old City. Where B.C. turned into A.D.! Let's go!

06:15

Homer Simpson: Flanders, that stuff's been here for thousands of years. But the breakfast buffet at this hotel, which is included in our package, closes in ten minutes!

06:24

Ned Flanders: Homer, that's not why we're here. (RE: BROCHURE) We can see the stations of the cross!

06:28

Homer Simpson: After we see the stations of the omelet bar.

06:32

Ned Flanders: (EXASPERATED SIGH, THEN COMPOSING HIMSELF) Okay, let's just put it to a vote.

06:37

(Hotel: Int. hotel - dining room - day)

06:37

Ned Flanders: I can't believe we lost, Reverend.

06:38

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: Mm-hmmm.

06:40

Helen Lovejoy: These blueberry muffins are bigger than the ones we had at Pechanga!

06:43

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: Finally, something you like better than Pechanga.

06:50

(Mt. Zion: Ext. mt. zion - jerusalem - day)

06:50

(First Church of Springfield: int. church building - continuous)

06:50

Jakob: Okay, everybody. Please shut your face. Here we go. This sacred spot on Mount Zion is King David's tomb. Also, where your Jesus, who was a native born Israeli, by the way, sandals, circumcised, perfect English accent, the whole deal... this is where he had his last supper before they took him away and hammered him up on that cross ha-ha-ha. Hey, you, you're not part of the group. No listening!

07:13

Israeli Bystander: What? Is Israel. Is free country!

Jakob: (ANGRY HEBREW YELLING AND SOME BLEEPING, THEN:)

07:33

Jakob: Okay, that's it. Because of him, no Armenian quarter. Forget it, it's gone. All thanks to Mister Listen-For-Free.

07:41

Ned Flanders: Lord, please help Homer experience the redemptive power of this sacred land.

07:47

Homer Simpson: (EXCITED) He's going for the record! He's going for the record!

07:53

Homer Simpson: (MILDLY ANNOYED) Flanders, you're not supposed to help him.

07:55

Bart Simpson: Yeah, thanks a lot, Flanders.

07:59

Ned Flanders: Homer, do you think you could show just the slightest bit of reverence?

08:04

Homer Simpson: Ned, I'm an American tourist. I'm just here to see some sights, try goofy new food and spread some shekels with my Carolina Panthers credit card.

08:13

Homer Simpson: Pan-thers!

08:14

Ned Flanders: (SIGHS) Homer, could you at least turn the camera off?

08:17

Homer Simpson: If you say it like Dracula I will.

08:20

Ned Flanders: Homer...

08:20

Homer Simpson: Please, please, please...

08:23

Ned Flanders: (ROLLS EYES, À LA DRACULA) Bleh.

08:26

Homer Simpson: (HAPPILY) That is going right on stupidflanders.org.

08:28

Ned Flanders: Y'know, Homer, you might really benefit from opening your heart to the spirituality of this place. Please, neighbor?

08:36

Homer Simpson: This really means a lot to you, huh?

08:38

Ned Flanders: Yes, but it means more to you.

08:40

Homer Simpson: Boy, are you lousy at reading minds.

08:43

Homer Simpson: Okay, okay. For you, I'll try.

08:52

Ned Flanders: Lord, I think I may have finally reached him...

08:52

Ned Flanders: (PRE-RECORDED) Bleh! Bleh! Bleh!

08:55

Ned Flanders: (AGGRAVATED) Homer, quit playing that back.

08:57

Homer Simpson: I'm not, it's my ringtone.

08:59

Homer Simpson: Y'ello. This is he. Yeah I wanted to know: do you deliver falafels to the top of Mount Zion? Great. I'd like a large falafel with pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese. Yes, I know what a falafel is.

Ned Flanders: (SIGHS)

09:17

(Near the Western Wall: Ext. near the western wall - day)

09:17

Jakob: This is-- everybody, look at my face. This is the Western, or as you say, Wailing Wall. It is believed that the Lord will grant the prayers that are stuck into the cracks. Please, no graffiti, no making the pishen, yallah.

09:29

Krusty the Clown: "Dear Lord: please fix the following parking tickets: A647253, SP90325, Shelbyville 932871...

09:29

Bart Simpson: Sad.

09:46

Bart Simpson: Sad.

09:48

Bart Simpson: Never gonna happen.

09:49

Bart Simpson: Sad. Maybe, if you were Brad Pitt.

09:53

Homer Simpson: Hey boy, we're supposed to be acting religiousy. What are you up to?

09:56

Bart Simpson: Reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God.

09:59

Bart Simpson: Hey, this one's from you.

10:01

Bart Simpson: "Dear Lord, don't let Marge find out the hotel leaves chocolates on the pillows at night."

10:01

Homer Simpson: Why you little...

10:10

Homer Simpson: "Give my Dad another heart attack?!"

10:10

(Western Wall: Ext. Western Wall - another area)

10:10

Jakob: (GRIM) Smite him! Like the firstborn of Egypt. Dead baby, dead baby, Passover, dead baby, dead baby...

10:52

(Jerusalem: Ext. jerusalem - Jewish MARKET - day)

10:52

Bart Simpson: Hey, why am I running from a girl?

10:54

Bart Simpson: Call me when you're old enough for your bat mitzvah. I'll bring you an envelope full of nothin'.

10:59

Bart Simpson: (STRIKING POSE) Ka-ra-té!

11:01

DOREET: Krav maga!

11:02

Bart Simpson: Krav ma-wha?

11:03

DOREET: Israeli karate. Less (ASIAN KARATE HOWL). More (VIOLENT ATTACK NOISE).

11:13

Bart Simpson: (IMPRESSED) You don't fight like a girl! Or even a Milhouse!

11:16

DOREET: I don't know what is Milhouse. I work security for the tour. (FIGHT SOUNDS) Dealing with American punks like you counts as my military service, and we know all about you.

11:27

Bart Simpson: Ay carumba. (PRETENDING) Hey, is that the Ark of the Covenant?

11:33

Bart Simpson: Ka-ra-té!

11:34

DOREET: (EMPHATIC) Once again, Krav maga!

11:40

Bart Simpson: Quit going for my groin!

11:41

DOREET: No groin, no Krav maga! (FIGHTING NOISES) Hello groin.

11:48

(Church of the Holy Sepulchre: Ext. Church of the holy sepulcher - day)

11:48

Jakob: Come on, come on. Everybody finish lemon ice. Not allowed inside.

11:54

Jakob: Before us stands the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, believed to be the home of the tomb of your Lord. Or as he's known here, the man in the underpants. Beautiful tachtoonim (TRANSLATION: UNDERWEAR). Oh, and what abs. He was a real good-looking one. Nice hair. Conditioner? I think so.

12:09

(First Church of Springfield: INT. CHURCH - ROOM OF THE ANGEL STONE - day)

12:09

Ned Flanders: And Lord, thank you for letting me see this wonderful place where the end of the world will soon begin. And thank you, again, for the challenge of Homer Simpson... we've all got our crosses to bear. Me Homer, you the cross. And now, let me gaze with reverence upon the holy resting place of...

Ned Flanders: (AGHAST SOUND)

12:27

Homer Simpson: (WAKES UP, GROGGY) Whuh?

12:29

Ned Flanders: Homer, this is the most sacred spot in Christendom, not your backyard hammock.

12:34

Homer Simpson: (SINCERELY APOLOGETIC) I'm sorry. It's just that these tours are so exhausting. You're jetlagged, you're walking around all day... it's so hard to sleep knowing Marge and the kids are all stuck in one small room.... and it's so nice and cool in the tomb of the unknown savior...

12:46

Ned Flanders: Unknown? This is the tomb of the most famous man who ever lived!

12:54

Homer Simpson: (EXCITED) Porky Pig?

12:55

Ned Flanders: (YELLING) Porky Pig's not a man, he's a pig! And he's not even a real pig!

12:59

(Church of the Holy Sepulchre: Int. CHURCH OF THE HOLY SEPULCHER - main area - cONTINUOUS)

12:59

Homer Simpson: (PUZZLED) But he is buried here, right?

13:02

Ned Flanders: That's it. I'm losin' it. I'm losin' it!

13:05

(First Church of Springfield: Int. CHURCH - tomb of christ - continuous)

13:05

Ned Flanders: You come all the way to Jerusalem -- the happiest place on earth -- and all the photos in your camera are of funny soda pops?!

13:17

Homer Simpson: (CHUCKLES) Chickpea Fizz.

13:19

Ned Flanders: Delete! Delete! Delete!

13:21

Homer Simpson: Whatever. It's your camera.

Ned Flanders: (ANGUISHED SCREAM)

13:31

(Church of the Holy Sepulchre: ext. church of the holy sepulcher - day)

13:31

Ned Flanders: Please, you've gotta let me back in. I sold six thousand rolls of wrapping paper to get here!

13:35

Chief Security Officer: That's your problem! You, my friend, are banned from ever entering this church again.

13:41

Ned Flanders: (STUNNED) Banned for life?

13:43

Ned Flanders: Homer, do you know why I'm a Christian?

13:45

Homer Simpson: Your parents made you?

13:47

Ned Flanders: It's because I believe every soul has the possibility of salvation. At least I thought so till now. (ICY CALM) Homer Simpson, you are not worth saving.

13:58

Homer Simpson: What? But I thought we'd be neighbors in Heaven. Goofing on all the new dead people...

14:01

Ned Flanders: Not. Worth. Saving.

14:06

(STREETS OF OLD JERUSALEM: Ext. STREETS OF OLD JERUSALEM - mOMENTS LATER)

14:06

Homer Simpson: Ned! Ned, wait up!

14:11

Homer Simpson: (WINDED) Ned!

14:11

(Jerusalem: ext. jerusalem - just inside the gates - day)

14:11

Homer Simpson: (GASPS) Ned's run off into the desert!

14:17

Homer Simpson: Ah-ha -- a sand horse! Car of the desert!

14:37

Ned Flanders: (SATISFIED NOISE) Nothing like a tall glass of luke-warm water to Jekyll down this Hyde.

14:42

Ned Flanders: Ooo, looks like a sandstorm's brewin'. I'll just wait it out at a movie.

14:51

(Theater: Int. Theater - continuous)

14:51

Robot #1: Orthobot Prime - the battle begins!

14:54

Robot #2: Not so fast -- we can't transform on the Sabbath!

14:57

Robot #1: Let us power down and contemplate the torah.

Robot #2: (ROBOT DAVENING NOISES)

15:12

(Desert: ext. desert - evening)

15:12

Homer Simpson: (CALLING) Flanders! Stupid Flanders!

15:22

Homer Simpson: (FREAKED OUT) There's sand in my shoe!

Homer Simpson: (EXTREMELY RELIEVED NOISE)

15:32

Homer Simpson: (BITTER) Good luck surviving without me!

15:35

Homer Simpson: (SINGS TO "LAWRENCE OF ARABIA" TUNE) THIR-STY / I AM SO THIR-STY / AND HUNGRY AND HORNY / BUT MOSTLY JUST THIR-STY / I AM SO THIR-STY... (SURPRISED NOISE)

15:54

Homer Simpson: Water!

15:58

Homer Simpson: (RASPY) So salty... (DRINKS, THEN SAYS EVEN RASPIER) Maybe if I... add a little salt...

Homer Simpson: (INCREDIBLY EMOTIONAL SOBS)

16:32

Cucumber: (KINDLY) You have been chosen, Homer.

16:34

Homer Simpson: (AWESTRUCK AND FEARFUL) Chosen for what, oh mighty gherkin?

16:36

Cucumber: Rise and listen, my child...yours is a great destiny.

16:43

Homer Simpson: (RAPIDLY) Pickle, carrot, tomato. Pickle, carrot, tomato. Pickle, carrot, tomato.

16:50

Marge Simpson: Oh Homie, you're alive!

16:53

Homer Simpson: I am more than alive, woman! I am the Chosen One who shall unite all the faiths of the Holy Land! I am... the messiah!

17:04

Marge Simpson: But you still have our passports, right?

17:06

Homer Simpson: (NORMAL) Oh yeah. Gotta keep track of those.

17:10

Homer Simpson: (BOOMING) The messiah! (NORMAL, TO MARGE) Has the passports.

17:17

(Hotel: ext. hotel - day - establishing)

17:17

(Simpson Hotel Room: Int. simpson hotel room - continuous)

17:17

Lisa Simpson: Dad, are you okay?

17:17

Homer Simpson: I'm more than okay! I am the Messiah, come to save the world! Look upon me and shudder!

17:25

Bart Simpson: I already do that.

17:27

Dr. Julius Hibbert: (UNEASY) Uh... Messiah... do you mind if I have a word with your wife?

17:29

Homer Simpson: As you wish, but look not upon her with lust. And do not send her friendly emails. That's how it begins.

17:40

Dr. Julius Hibbert: Homer is suffering from what's called "Jerusalem Syndrome."

17:40

Lisa Simpson: Ah yes, "Jerusalem Syndrome." The name given to religious delusions or psychoses that occur when people visit Jerusalem.

17:50

Bart Simpson: Have you ever noticed that Dad always gets the disease they write about in the in-flight magazine?

17:55

Marge Simpson: Oh my God, Homer's gone!

18:00

Marge Simpson: (WORRIED MURMUR) What's he gonna do now?

18:02

Lisa Simpson: (THINKS) Hmm... Dad said he was going to "unite all faiths." (SNAPS FINGERS) And only one site is sacred to Muslims, Christians and Jews -- The Dome of the Rock!

18:11

Homer Simpson: The Dome of the Rock? Messiah, away!

18:16

Homer Simpson: (GASP OF DISCOVERY) This one says "Carolina Panthers!"

18:19

Homer Simpson: Messiah says (PANTHER NOISE)!

18:19

(DOME OF THE ROCK: exT. DOME OF THE ROCK - day)

18:19

Jakob: Okay, okay, everybody come on. This shrine contains the rock on which Abraham was going to sacrifice his son. And Muslims believe something too. To find out, hire a Muslim tour guide. That's a barrel of laughs. Anyway, shut your face.

18:36

Marge Simpson: Thanks, but you can stop giving the tour now.

18:39

Jakob: You don't want to do a photo with me? You can hold my gun.

18:42

Jakob: I used it in Entebbe. I killed three Ugandans.

18:42

Marge Simpson: No thanks.

18:46

Jakob: Before you go in, you fill out comment card.

18:49

Marge Simpson: (SIGHS) Okay.

18:53

Jakob: Eh, eh, don't forget the back.

18:55

Marge Simpson: You people are so pushy.

18:56

Jakob: What? Israeli people are pushy? How about you experience a couple of genocides and see how laid-back you are? We were purged from Spain. Throw out of there. They allow everybody in Spain, but for us, Jews, no flamenco, get out.

19:10

Jakob: I'm pushy?! Please. You stay there surrounded by your great enemy, Canada. Try Syria for two months, then we'll see who's pushy.

19:21

Homer Simpson: Attention Christians, Muslims, and Jews. I have come to gather you into a new faith. From now on you shall be called Chrismujews.

Pilgrims: (UNINTERESTED MUTTERS)

19:33

Homer Simpson: Because when you get down to it, aren't all religions the same? They tell you what to eat, when to pray... how this imperfect clay that we call man can mold itself to resemble the divine. But we can never attain that ultimate grace while there is hatred in our hearts for each other.

19:51

Ned Flanders: (INCREDIBLY TOUCHED) I did it! I reached him!

19:53

Homer Simpson: Celebrate your commonality. Some of us don't eat pork. Some of us don't eat shellfish. But all of us love chicken!

Crowd: (AGREEING MURMURS)

20:04

Muslim Man: You can simmer it in a ("TA-JEAN") tagine.

20:06

Jewish Man: In a soup you can boil it!

20:07

Homer Simpson: Spread the word! Peace and chicken!

20:11

Crowd: (REVERENTIAL) Peace and chicken!

20:13

Agnes Skinner: Don't listen to this fat idiot.

20:15

Agnes Skinner: I am your messiah! Avert your eyes from my wrinkly arms!

20:20

Dr. Julius Hibbert: Uh-oh. We've got another case of Jerusalem Syndrome.

20:23

Dr. Julius Hibbert: This looks like a job for... the messiah!

20:32

(Ben Gurion Airport: Ext. Ben Gurion airport - day)

20:32

(Israeli Air Airplane: int. israeli air airplane - continuous)

20:32

(Airplane: int. airplane - continuous)

20:32

Bart Simpson: I want the window seat.

20:33

Lisa Simpson: Krav maga!

20:35

Bart Simpson: (STRIKES A FIGHTING POSE) You can't hurt what's already dead.

20:36

Bart Simpson: (IN AGONY) I guess you can.

20:38

Ned Flanders: Homer, my friend, of all the false messiahs today, I think you came closest to the truth.

20:43

Homer Simpson: Well, if I made any sense today, it's because all the stuff you've told me all these years has finally seeped in.

20:49

Homer Simpson: Can I buy you a twelve dollar turkey sandwich?

20:52

Ned Flanders: I'd like that.

20:53

Homer Simpson: How 'bout a Greg Norman Executive Putter from the Sky Mall?

20:53

Ned Flanders: You'd probably get a better deal at a mall back home.

20:59

Homer Simpson: (STUNNED) They have malls on land?

21:05

(Plane: Ext. plane - day - continuous)

21:05

Jakob: One at a time! Having your people being thrown out of Spain! Spain! No tapas! I love eating tapas! I love the tiny portions! You don't get too full, but you have a whole variety of flavors! Not for me! Every day who wants a pickle?! Occasionally once a week a little bit of falafel!

SEASON 21 EPISODE 16

The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed

Flanders attempts to redeem Homer during a Bible study trip to Israel; Homer becomes delusional after getting lost in the desert and ends up believing he's the Chosen One. ...

DIRECTORS
Michael Polcino

WRITERS
Kevin Curran

Read More +

CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

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Clip From S21/E16

Ned's Bible Study
Clip From S21/E16

Ned's Bible Study

Ned leads the community Bible study.
Clip From S21/E16

Homer's Prayer
Clip From S21/E16

Homer's Prayer

Bart reads Homer's prayer from the Western Wall.
Clip From S21/E16

Bart vs. Dorit
Clip From S21/E16

Bart vs. Dorit

Bart and Dorit fight in Israel.
Clip From S21/E16

Homer's Desert Motivation
Clip From S21/E16

Homer's Desert Motivation

Homer finds motivation from a mirage in the desert.
Clip From S21/E16

Homer the Messiah
Clip From S21/E16

Homer the Messiah

Homer believes he is the Messiah.

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