The Fight Before Christmas | season 22 episode 8 | Simpsons World

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13 Episodes by popularity

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Simpsons Roasting on an O

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Homer's Night Out

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The Crepes of Wrath

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Krusty Gets Busted

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Some Enchanted Evening

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season 1 982k views

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Bart Gets an F

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Simpson and Delilah

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3

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Two Cars in Every Garage

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Dancin' Homer

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Bart Gets Hit by a Car

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The Way We Was

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Principal Charming

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Oh Brother, Where Art Tho

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Bart's Dog Gets an F

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Old Money

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Brush with Greatness

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Lisa's Substitute

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The War of the Simpsons

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21

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Stark Raving Dad

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Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingt

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Bart the Murderer

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Lisa's Pony

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Burns Verkaufen der Kraft

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I Married Marge

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Radio Bart

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Lisa the Greek

Lisa accurately predicts the winner...
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Homer Alone

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16

65391 Views

Bart the Lover

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17

89972 Views

Homer at the Bat

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Separate Vocations

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19

55329 Views

Dog of Death

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Colonel Homer

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21

63701 Views

Black Widower

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22

57239 Views

The Otto Show

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23

55447 Views

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58726 Views

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season 3 1472.3k views

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67552 Views

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48737 Views

A Streetcar Named Marge

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3

62881 Views

Homer the Heretic

Homer creates his own religion as a...
4

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Lisa the Beauty Queen

Homer enters Lisa in a beauty pagea...
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119138 Views

Treehouse of Horror III

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6

59377 Views

Itchy and Scratchy: The M

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Mr. Plow

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Selma's Choice

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Brother from the Same Pla

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I Love Lisa

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Duffless

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17

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Last Exit to Springfield

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So It's Come to This: A S

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The Front

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Whacking Day

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Marge in Chains

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2

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Cape Feare

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3

71215 Views

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4

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Rosebud

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Treehouse of Horror IV

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6

59926 Views

Marge on the Lam

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7

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Bart's Inner Child

The host of a self-help workshop co...
8

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Boy-Scoutz 'N the Hood

Bart inadvertently joins the Junior...
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The Last Temptation of Ho

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10

84692 Views

$pringfield (Or, How I Le

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12

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Burns' Heir

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Sweet Seymour Skinner's B

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76523 Views

The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Only Bart can clear Mayor Quimby's ...
21

66232 Views

Lady Bouvier's Lover

Grampa and Mr. Burns vie for Mrs. B...
22

74663 Views

Secrets of a Successful M

Marge kicks Homer out of the house ...

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25 Episodes by popularity

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61798 Views

Bart of Darkness

Bart believes he witnessed Ned Flan...
2

53720 Views

Lisa's Rival

Lisa becomes jealous when she meets...
3

41535 Views

Another Simpsons Clip Sho

When Marge suspects that romance ha...
4

84367 Views

Itchy and Scratchy Land

The Simpsons visit a theme park bas...
5

67534 Views

Sideshow Bob Roberts

Sideshow Bob runs for political off...
6

121626 Views

Treehouse of Horror V

The Simpsons spin three tales of Ha...
7

67860 Views

Bart's Girlfriend

Bart falls in love with Reverend Lo...
8

63389 Views

Lisa on Ice

Lisa joins a hockey team and finds ...
9

69183 Views

Homer Badman

Homer is wrongly accused of committ...
10

64623 Views

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequ

While selling a homemade tonic guar...
11

61519 Views

Fear of Flying

Marge seeks professional help from ...
12

73205 Views

Homer the Great

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13

65716 Views

And Maggie Makes Three

Homer recounts how Maggie's acciden...
14

68577 Views

Bart's Comet

Bart discovers a comet that is on a...
15

75219 Views

Homie the Clown

Homer enrolls in a clown college fr...
16

96617 Views

Bart vs. Australia

Bart must apologize to the country ...
17

66679 Views

Homer vs. Patty and Selma

Homer is forced to borrow money fro...
18

78662 Views

A Star Is Burns

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19

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Lisa's Wedding

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20

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Two Dozen and One Greyhou

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21

75010 Views

The PTA Disbands

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22

65132 Views

'Round Springfield

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23

78642 Views

The Springfield Connectio

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24

77823 Views

Lemon of Troy

Bart and his friends march on Shelb...
25

91606 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Just about everyone in Springfield ...

season 6 1845.6k views

Season 7

25 Episodes by popularity

1

65248 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Lisa aids police with the investiga...
2

62540 Views

Radioactive Man

Hollywood producers cast Milhouse i...
3

62379 Views

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum

The Flanders gain custody of the Si...
4

67083 Views

Bart Sells His Soul

Bart sells his soul to Milhouse for...
5

71384 Views

Lisa the Vegetarian

Lisa turns vegetarian after her fam...
6

119430 Views

Treehouse of Horror VI

The Simpsons appear in three horrif...
7

82626 Views

King-Size Homer

Homer intentionally gains weight so...
8

60474 Views

Mother Simpson

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9

67270 Views

Sideshow Bob's Last Gleam

Sideshow Bob threatens to detonate ...
10

59432 Views

The Simpsons 138th Episod

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11

72521 Views

Marge Be Not Proud

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12

83796 Views

Team Homer

Homer reluctantly accepts Mr. Burns...
13

66570 Views

Two Bad Neighbors

Former President George Bush and hi...
14

60711 Views

Scenes from the Class Str

The Simpsons apply for membership a...
15

64652 Views

Bart the Fink

Krusty is arrested for massive tax ...
16

65760 Views

Lisa the Iconoclast

Lisa discovers that Jebediah Spring...
17

77955 Views

Homer the Smithers

Homer acts as Mr. Burns' assistant ...
18

61692 Views

The Day the Violence Died

Bart and Lisa come to the aid of a ...
19

71583 Views

A Fish Called Selma

Troy McClure stages a Hollywood com...
20

76631 Views

Bart on the Road

Using a fake driver's license, Bart...
21

73994 Views

22 Short Films About Spri

The lives of Springfield residents ...
22

75319 Views

Raging Abe Simpson and Hi

Grampa and Mr. Burns, the last surv...
23

70640 Views

Much Apu About Nothing

Apu faces deportation when a refere...
24

70806 Views

Homerpalooza

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25

73248 Views

Summer of 4 Ft. 2

While on summer vacation with her f...

season 7 1783.7k views

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

102919 Views

Treehouse of Horror VII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
2

72934 Views

You Only Move Twice

The Simpsons relocate to another co...
3

67630 Views

The Homer They Fall

Homer becomes a professional boxer ...
4

58816 Views

Burns, Baby Burns

With Homer's help, Mr. Burns' long-...
5

58158 Views

Bart After Dark

While Marge is out of town, Homer a...
6

61432 Views

A Milhouse Divided

When Milhouse's parents get a divor...
7

60867 Views

Lisa's Date with Density

Lisa develops a crush on bully Nels...
8

25140 Views

Hurricane Neddy

Ned Flanders suffers a breakdown af...
9

23582 Views

El Viaje Misterioso de Nu

After ingesting several Guatemalan ...
10

25066 Views

The Springfield Files

X-Files Agents Mulder and Scully in...
11

23736 Views

The Twisted World of Marg

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12

22881 Views

Mountain of Madness

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13

20739 Views

Simpsoncalifragilisticexp

The Simpsons hire a Mary Poppins-li...
14

21917 Views

The Itchy and Scratchy an

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15

24141 Views

Homer's Phobia

Homer grows homophobic after he rea...
16

21048 Views

Brother from Another Seri

Bart fears the worst when Sideshow ...
17

20888 Views

My Sister, My Sitter

Homer and Marge allow Lisa to baby-...
18

27187 Views

Homer vs. the Eighteenth

Homer turns bootlegger when Springf...
19

22092 Views

Grade School Confidential

Bart exposes Skinner and Krabappel'...
20

27748 Views

The Canine Mutiny

Bart gives away Santa's Little Help...
21

26902 Views

The Old Man and the Lisa

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22

21509 Views

In Marge We Trust

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23

25858 Views

Homer's Enemy

A resentful, hard-working employee ...
24

30929 Views

The Simpsons Spin-Off Sho

Troy McClure hosts three spin-offs ...
25

27420 Views

The Secret War of Lisa Si

Cadets give Lisa the "silent treatm...

season 8 921.5k views

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

36677 Views

The City of New York vs.

The Simpsons journey to New York Ci...
2

26365 Views

The Principal and the Pau

A stranger claims that Principal Sk...
3

25091 Views

Lisa's Sax

Homer and Marge recount how Lisa go...
4

49303 Views

Treehouse of Horror VIII

Homer battles killer mutants after ...
5

36070 Views

The Cartridge Family

Homer purchases a handgun to protec...
6

29856 Views

Bart Star

Homer becomes coach of the Springfi...
7

25605 Views

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemap

In an effort to annul an arranged m...
8

27336 Views

Lisa the Skeptic

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9

29016 Views

Realty Bites

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10

28813 Views

Miracle on Evergreen Terr

People throughout Springfield open ...
11

22970 Views

All Singing, All Dancing

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12

28148 Views

Bart Carny

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13

34443 Views

The Joy of Sect

Marge tries her hand at deprogrammi...
14

32427 Views

Das Bus

Bart, Lisa and their classmates fig...
15

27345 Views

The Last Temptation of Kr

Krusty shuns his old routines in fa...
16

27301 Views

Dumbbell Indemnity

When Moe goes broke romancing his n...
17

29557 Views

Lisa the Simpson

Lisa fears she is genetically predi...
18

28419 Views

This Little Wiggy

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19

31714 Views

Simpson Tide

Homer becomes the captain of a Navy...
20

29961 Views

The Trouble with Trillion

When a tax audit lands him in hot w...
21

28863 Views

Girly Edition

Bart attempts to upstage Lisa when ...
22

35180 Views

Trash of the Titans

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23

30595 Views

King of the Hill

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24

27496 Views

Lost Our Lisa

Lisa gets lost in an unfamiliar par...
25

26930 Views

Natural Born Kissers

Homer and Marge discover the secret...

season 9 755.5k views

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23 Episodes by popularity

1

53927 Views

Lard of the Dance

Homer thinks he can net a fortune b...
2

18148 Views

The Wizard of Evergreen T

After realizing half his life is ov...
3

22678 Views

Bart the Mother

Bart tends to a nest filled with eg...
4

44736 Views

Treehouse of Horror IX

An evil toupee possesses Homer; Bar...
5

23113 Views

When You Dish Upon a Star

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6

24475 Views

D'oh-in' in the Wind

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7

26623 Views

Lisa Gets an 'A'

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8

25920 Views

Homer Simpson in: 'Kidney

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9

29873 Views

Mayored to the Mob

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10

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Viva Ned Flanders

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11

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Wild Barts Can't Be Broke

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12

26146 Views

Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

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13

29834 Views

Homer to the Max

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14

23713 Views

I'm with Cupid

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15

26537 Views

Marge Simpson in: 'Scream

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16

27448 Views

Make Room for Lisa

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17

25266 Views

Maximum Homerdrive

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18

46419 Views

Simpsons Bible Stories

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19

47501 Views

Mom and Pop Art

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20

46997 Views

The Old Man and the 'C' S

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21

45554 Views

Monty Can't Buy Me Love

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22

48693 Views

They Saved Lisa's Brain

Lisa is invited to join Mensa; Home...
23

66829 Views

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

The Simpsons board a mega-saver fli...

season 10 790.6k views

Season 11

22 Episodes by popularity

1

20220 Views

Beyond Blunderdome

Studio executives panic when actor ...
2

39617 Views

Brother's Little Helper

Bart is diagnosed with Attention De...
3

42734 Views

Guess Who's Coming to Cri

Homer becomes the Springfield Shopp...
4

70734 Views

Treehouse of Horror X

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5

47891 Views

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)

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6

41813 Views

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadde

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7

37869 Views

Eight Misbehavin'

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8

38742 Views

Take My Wife, Sleaze

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9

49864 Views

Grift of the Magi

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10

45833 Views

Little Big Mom

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11

41139 Views

Faith Off

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12

43268 Views

The Mansion Family

The Simpsons care for Burns' mansio...
13

39750 Views

Saddlesore Galactica

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14

46168 Views

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15

55039 Views

Missionary Impossible

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16

56884 Views

Pygmoelian

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17

71785 Views

Bart to the Future

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18

53190 Views

Days of Wine and D'Ohses

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19

56065 Views

Kill the Alligator and Ru

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20

52536 Views

Last Tap Dance in Springf

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21

61102 Views

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad

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22

102101 Views

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This 'behind-the-scenes' special ch...

season 11 1114.3k views

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21 Episodes by popularity

1

81467 Views

Treehouse of Horror XI

On Halloween... a deceased Homer mu...
2

41741 Views

A Tale of Two Springfield

The townspeople of Springfield divi...
3

43413 Views

Insane Clown Poppy

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4

39278 Views

Lisa the Treehugger

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5

44550 Views

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6

51723 Views

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7

50109 Views

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8

62195 Views

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9

93486 Views

HOMR

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10

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11

53020 Views

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12

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13

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Day of the Jackanapes

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14

56901 Views

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15

53663 Views

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16

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17

63523 Views

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18

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Trilogy of Error

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19

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20

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55043 Views

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season 12 1163.9k views

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8

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9

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16

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77534 Views

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19

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51296 Views

Little Girl in the Big Te

Lisa is overjoyed when she befriend...
21

54048 Views

Frying Game

Homer and Marge become murder suspe...
22

59553 Views

Papa's Got a Brand New Ba

When Wiggum and his men prove ineff...

season 13 1170.1k views

Season 14

22 Episodes by popularity

1

81815 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIII

On Halloween, Homer's evil hammock ...
2

36210 Views

How I Spent My Strummer V

When a hidden camera tapes Homer la...
3

41127 Views

Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Gra

Bart and Lisa are horrified when th...
4

52113 Views

Large Marge

Marge's life changes dramatically w...
5

45897 Views

Helter Shelter

When the Simpson house undergoes fu...
6

54097 Views

The Great Louse Detective

When someone attempts to murder Hom...
7

42687 Views

Special Edna

When Bart gets Mrs. Krabappel nomin...
8

47436 Views

The Dad Who Knew Too Litt

Homer hires a shady private investi...
9

50054 Views

The Strong Arms of The Ma

When Marge is mugged at the Kwik-E-...
10

47018 Views

Pray Anything

Inspired by Ned Flanders, Homer tur...
11

51229 Views

Barting Over

When Bart discovers the existence o...
12

44750 Views

I'm Spelling as Fast as I

When Lisa becomes a finalist in a s...
13

44162 Views

A Star is Born-Again

A Hollywood movie star takes a roma...
14

46300 Views

Mr. Spritz Goes To Washin

When Springfield Airport changes th...
15

47604 Views

C.E.D'oh

On Valentine's Day, Homer attends a...
16

46635 Views

'Scuse Me While I Miss Th

As a British filmmaker makes a docu...
17

71588 Views

Three Gays of the Condo

Homer moves in with a gay couple af...
18

62029 Views

Dude, Where's My Ranch?

While vacationing at a dude ranch, ...
19

47262 Views

Old Yeller-Belly

When Santa's Little Helper becomes ...
20

50596 Views

Brake My Wife, Please

When Homer loses his driver's licen...
21

51863 Views

The Bart of War

After police discover Bart and Milh...
22

48958 Views

Moe Baby Blues

When Moe saves baby Maggie's life, ...

season 14 1111.4k views

Season 15

22 Episodes by popularity

1

77651 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIV

On Halloween, Homer takes over for ...
2

34553 Views

My Mother the Carjacker

Mother Simpson is captured by polic...
3

40308 Views

The President Wore Pearls

When Lisa is elected student body p...
4

55454 Views

The Regina Monologues

The Simpsons travel to England, whe...
5

40291 Views

The Fat and the Furriest

Homer becomes the laughing stock of...
6

40717 Views

Today I am a Clown

When Krusty takes the Sabbath off s...
7

39371 Views

'Tis the Fifteenth Season

As Christmas approaches, Homer disc...
8

45497 Views

Marge vs. Singles, Senior

Marge opposes a political group mad...
9

42025 Views

I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot

Homer builds a fighting robot for B...
10

43966 Views

Diatribe of a Mad Housewi

Homer buys an ambulance and starts ...
11

43202 Views

Margical History Tour

Marge tells the children three hist...
12

48511 Views

Milhouse Doesn't Live Her

When Milhouse and his mother reloca...
13

46395 Views

Smart & Smarter

Lisa searches for a new identity wh...
14

43537 Views

The Ziff Who Came to Dinn

Homer becomes the majority sharehol...
15

45200 Views

Co-Dependent's Day

When a drunken Homer loses control ...
16

45445 Views

The Wandering Juvie

Bart's latest prank lands him in ju...
17

45106 Views

My Big Fat Geek Wedding

Mrs. Krabappel dumps Principal Skin...
18

47584 Views

Catch 'Em If You Can

Bart and Lisa pursue Homer and Marg...
19

48322 Views

Simple Simpson

Homer confronts evildoers in the fo...
20

45940 Views

The Way We Weren't

Homer reveals that Marge wasn't the...
21

48121 Views

Bart-Mangled Banner

The Simpsons are thrown in prison a...
22

48644 Views

Fraudcast News

Mr. Burns buys up all the media out...

season 15 1015.8k views

Season 16

21 Episodes by popularity

1

79496 Views

Treehouse of Horror XV

On Halloween... Flanders can predic...
2

40795 Views

All's Fair in Oven War

Marge enters a bakeoff competition,...
3

41228 Views

Sleeping with the Enemy

Lisa becomes self-conscious about h...
4

38366 Views

She Used to Be My Girl

Marge wonders if she made the right...
5

43586 Views

Fat Man and Little Boy

Homer builds a nuclear reactor for ...
6

42130 Views

Midnight Rx

Homer and Grampa smuggle drugs out ...
7

44249 Views

Mommie Beerest

Homer mortgages his house to save M...
8

42562 Views

Homer and Ned's Hail Mary

After teaching famous athletes some...
9

42212 Views

Pranksta Rap

After sneaking off to a rap concert...
10

44758 Views

There's Something About M

When tourists shun Springfield, the...
11

45323 Views

On a Clear Day I Can't Se

After Bart torments his sister duri...
12

60057 Views

Goo Goo Gai Pan

Homer pretends to be Selma's husban...
13

47294 Views

Mobile Homer

Bart and Lisa attempt to save Homer...
14

46765 Views

The Seven-Beer Snitch

Homer becomes a prison snitch after...
15

66006 Views

Future-Drama

Using Professor Frink's astrologica...
16

44601 Views

Don't Fear the Roofer

Homer ends up in a mental instituti...
17

53928 Views

The Heartbroke Kid

Bart has a heart attack after he be...
18

51145 Views

A Star is Torn

Homer behaves like a domineering st...
19

49577 Views

Thank God It's Doomsday

Homer is declared a prophet after h...
20

49178 Views

Home Away From Homer

Flanders feels like a fool after so...
21

49093 Views

The Father, The Son, and

After Bart gets expelled, he's enro...

season 16 1022.3k views

Season 17

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31665 Views

The Bonfire of the Manate

When Homer allows the mob to film a...
2

36882 Views

The Girl Who Slept Too Li

Lisa must confront her darkest fear...
3

36285 Views

MIlhouse of Sand and Fog

After Kirk and Luann rekindle their...
4

83841 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVI

On Halloween, Bart is replaced by a...
5

39565 Views

Marge's Son Poisoning

After spending time with her son, M...
6

40524 Views

See Homer Run

After winning popularity as the Saf...
7

38503 Views

The Last of the Red Hat M

A lonely Marge joins a women's grou...
8

61582 Views

The Italian Bob

The Simpsons travel to Italy to ret...
9

45482 Views

Simpsons Christmas Storie

The Simpsons appear in three Christ...
10

39214 Views

Homer's Paternity Coot

When an old letter is delivered to ...
11

42589 Views

We're on the Road to D'oh

After Bart gets into trouble at sch...
12

43566 Views

My Fair Laddy

Lisa vows to turn Groundskeeper Wil...
13

65036 Views

The Seemingly Never-Endin

When the Simpsons become trapped in...
14

44021 Views

Bart Has Two Mommies

Marge teaches Rod and Todd Flanders...
15

43169 Views

Homer Simpson, This is Yo

Marge swaps places with a British w...
16

43658 Views

Million Dollar Abie

After costing Springfield a profess...
17

58254 Views

Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore

Mr. Burns closes the nuclear power ...
18

44156 Views

The Wettest Stories Ever

The Simpsons appear in three storie...
19

48078 Views

Girls Just Want to Have S

After Skinner is fired for insinuat...
20

45894 Views

Regarding Margie

After Marge develops amnesia and ca...
21

48907 Views

The Monkey Suit

Lisa protests when Springfield pass...
22

44848 Views

Marge and Homer Turn a Co

Homer and Marge play marriage couns...

season 17 1025.7k views

Season 18

22 Episodes by popularity

1

36693 Views

The Mook, the Chef, the W

Lisa befriends the son of mobster F...
2

33783 Views

Jazzy and the Pussycats

Lisa grows jealous after Bart disco...
3

39351 Views

Please Homer, Don't Hamme

Marge starts her own carpentry busi...
4

81604 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
5

41552 Views

G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)

After Homer joins the Army, he's se...
6

36597 Views

Moe 'N' a Lisa

Lisa helps Moe get a poem published...
7

41385 Views

Ice Cream of Margie (With

Homer finds happiness after he buys...
8

40546 Views

The Haw-Hawed Couple

Bart becomes Nelson's best friend; ...
9

49224 Views

Kill Gil (Parts I & II)

During the Christmas holiday, Marge...
10

40990 Views

The Wife Aquatic

Marge returns to an island where sh...
11

66683 Views

Revenge is a Dish Best Se

The Simpsons spin three tales of re...
12

55281 Views

Little Big Girl

As Multicultural Day approaches, Li...
13

45328 Views

Springfield Up

In this spoof of the 'Up' documenta...
14

44279 Views

Yokel Chords

Lisa tutors Cletus's children - unt...
15

42193 Views

Rome-old and Juli-eh

Homer is horrified when his father ...
16

43744 Views

Homerazzi

Homer tries his hand at making mone...
17

48380 Views

Marge Gamer

After discovering the Internet, Mar...
18

53731 Views

The Boys of Bummer

Bart becomes the shame of Springfie...
19

46474 Views

Crook and Ladder

Homer and his friends join the volu...
20

44844 Views

Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot

When Santa's Little Helper gets a j...
21

45714 Views

24 Minutes

In this spoof of the television ser...
22

48249 Views

You Kent Always Say What

Kent Brockman accidentally utters a...

season 18 1026.6k views

Season 19

20 Episodes by popularity

1

34939 Views

He Loves To Fly And He D'

Marge hires a life coach to turn Ho...
2

33976 Views

Homer of Seville

Homer becomes an opera star, only t...
3

35469 Views

Midnight Towboy

Homer makes enemies when he starts ...
4

35003 Views

I Don't Wanna Know Why th

Marge fears for her safety after br...
5

81740 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVIII

In three tales of Halloween terror:...
6

39449 Views

Little Orphan Millie

When his parents are lost at sea an...
7

42937 Views

Husbands and Knives

After Marge launches a gym for 'reg...
8

48383 Views

Funeral for a Fiend

After another of his attempts to ki...
9

43362 Views

Eternal Moonshine of the

Homer wakes up from a blackout only...
10

44791 Views

E. Pluribus Wiggum

When Springfield becomes the first ...
11

43955 Views

That 90's Show

Marge and Homer recount how Marge a...
12

40804 Views

Love, Springfieldian Styl

When Homer and Marge become trapped...
13

42928 Views

The Debarted

Bart befriends a new kid at school,...
14

42778 Views

Dial 'N' for Nerder

Bart and Lisa think they killed Mar...
15

42984 Views

Smoke on the Daughter

Lisa becomes addicted to secondhand...
16

39761 Views

Papa Don't Leech

Marge and Homer aid country singer ...
17

41822 Views

Apocalypse Cow

Bart is overjoyed when the calf he'...
18

42892 Views

Any Given Sundance

Lisa's documentary about life with ...
19

40485 Views

Mona Leaves-a

When Homer's mother returns to Spri...
20

46646 Views

All About Lisa

Krusty hires Lisa to be his intern,...

season 19 865.1k views

Season 20

21 Episodes by popularity

1

39973 Views

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrap

Homer and Flanders team-up as bount...
2

35803 Views

Lost Verizon

When Bart steals actor Denis Leary'...
3

47930 Views

Double, Double, Boy in Tr

Bart swaps places with his exact do...
4

79948 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIX

On Halloween... Transformer-like ro...
5

46439 Views

Dangerous Curves

In a series of flashbacks... Homer ...
6

38076 Views

Homer and Lisa Exchange C

When Lisa discovers a talent for so...
7

38752 Views

Mypods and Boomsticks

Homer thinks Bart's new Muslim frie...
8

37883 Views

The Burns and the Bees

As Lisa tries to find a habitat for...
9

38072 Views

Lisa the Drama Queen

Lisa's new best friend creates a fa...
10

40237 Views

Take My Life, Please

When Homer discovers that he was al...
11

40774 Views

How the Test Was Won

Lisa freezes during a federal schoo...
12

41295 Views

No Loan Again, Naturally

When Homer and Marge's adjustable m...
13

42104 Views

Gone Maggie Gone

In this 'National Treasure'-like st...
14

54544 Views

In the Name of the Grandf

The Simpsons travel to Ireland, whe...
15

42364 Views

Wedding for Disaster

When their marriage license turns o...
16

41164 Views

Eeny Teeny Maya Moe

Moe meets a beautiful woman in an I...
17

45212 Views

The Good, The Sad, and Th

Bart dumps Milhouse in favor of a c...
18

43186 Views

Father Knows Worst

As a result of Homer's "helicopter ...
19

46413 Views

Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'o

Homer and Marge rent an apartment i...
20

45311 Views

Four Great Women and a Ma

As Marge and Lisa have their nails ...
21

49674 Views

Coming To Homerica

Springfield grapples with an immigr...

season 20 935.2k views

Season 21

23 Episodes by popularity

1

36664 Views

Homer the Whopper

Homer ends up with a superhero's ph...
2

36475 Views

Bart Gets A 'Z'

Principal Skinner fires Mrs. Krabap...
3

41891 Views

The Great Wife Hope

Marge vows to drive mixed martial a...
4

77112 Views

Treehouse of Horror XX

Classic movie monsters are attacked...
5

40027 Views

The Devil Wears Nada

Homer's life turns into nonstop mis...
6

39199 Views

Pranks and Greens

Skinner tells Bart about a former S...
7

37296 Views

Rednecks and Broomsticks

Lisa befriends a group of Wiccans w...
8

37898 Views

O Brother, Where Bart Tho

Bart attempts to get Homer and Marg...
9

35574 Views

Thursdays with Abie

Homer becomes jealous when a report...
10

42028 Views

Once Upon A Time in Sprin

Krusty ends up playing second fiddl...
11

39733 Views

Million Dollar Maybe

Homer wins a million-dollar lottery...
12

62732 Views

Boy Meets Curl

The Simpsons head to the Winter Oly...
13

48817 Views

The Color Yellow

Lisa discovers that her Southern an...
14

40915 Views

Postcards From the Wedge

Bart creates friction between Marge...
15

39985 Views

Stealing First Base

Bart stirs up trouble when he kisse...
16

55335 Views

The Greatest Story Ever D

Flanders attempts to redeem Homer d...
17

43741 Views

American History X-cellen

When Mr. Burns is sent to prison fo...
18

41092 Views

Chief of Hearts

After he's sentenced to perform com...
19

43166 Views

The Squirt and the Whale

Lisa comes to the aid of a whale th...
20

45043 Views

To Surveil With Love

After a bomb squad mistakenly blows...
21

41746 Views

Moe Letter Blues

As Mother's Day approaches, Homer, ...
22

45050 Views

The Bob Next Door

Bart is convinced that his new neig...
23

44107 Views

Judge Me Tender

Moe discovers a talent for judging ...

season 21 1015.6k views

Season 22

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31962 Views

Elementary School Musical

Lisa attends a performing arts camp...
2

33739 Views

Loan-A-Lisa

Lisa donates money to a microfinanc...
3

43336 Views

Money Bart

Lisa becomes the coach of Bart's Li...
4

73921 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXI

Bart and Milhouse use their videoga...
5

39072 Views

Lisa Simpson, This Isn't

Lisa decides she doesn't want to en...
6

37229 Views

The Fool Monty

When a dying Mr. Burns loses his me...
7

36767 Views

How Munched is that Birdi

The Simpsons decide to give away Sa...
8

46766 Views

The Fight Before Christma

Four Christmas tales... Bart takes ...
9

39146 Views

Donnie Fatso

Acting as an undercover informant, ...
10

40880 Views

Moms I'd Like To Forget

As Bart tries to determine the orig...
11

39145 Views

Flaming Moe

Smithers convinces Moe to turn his ...
12

41257 Views

Homer the Father

Homer uses plotlines from a 1980's ...
13

40550 Views

The Blue and the Gray

Unable to get a date for Valentine'...
14

41211 Views

Angry Dad: The Movie

When the 'Angry Dad' character is t...
15

42102 Views

The Scorpion's Tale

When Lisa discovers a wildflower th...
16

38618 Views

A Midsummer's Nice Dreams

When legendary comics Cheech and Ch...
17

40164 Views

Love is a Many Strangled

Homer enrolls in a fathering enrich...
18

44011 Views

The Great Simpsina

Lisa befriends an old magician who ...
19

41062 Views

The Housewives of Fat Ton

Fat Tony asks for Selma's hand in m...
20

45459 Views

Homer Scissorhands

Homer discovers a talent for cuttin...
21

49394 Views

500 Keys

A drawer full of old keys sparks se...
22

46066 Views

The Ned-liest Catch

Ned Flanders falls for Bart's teach...

season 22 931.9k views

Season 23

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34003 Views

The Falcon and the D'ohma

Homer attempts to help a former CIA...
2

34407 Views

Bart Stops to Smell the R

Superintendant Chalmers teaches Bar...
3

75082 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXII

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
4

35759 Views

Replaceable You

With some help from Martin Prince, ...
5

39975 Views

The Food Wife

As Homer and Marge vie for the kids...
6

39209 Views

The Book Job

After Lisa discovers that her favor...
7

39764 Views

The Man in the Blue Flann

Burns appoints Homer the nuclear po...
8

41671 Views

The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

After being fired from his popular ...
9

84520 Views

Holidays Of Future Passed

Thirty years in the future, Bart an...
10

41763 Views

Politically Inept, With H

Homer becomes a celebrity after he ...
11

43432 Views

The D'oh-cial Network

Lisa's idea for an online social ne...
12

38436 Views

Moe Goes From Rags To Ric

Moe's bar rag tells the story of hi...
13

39335 Views

The Daughter Also Rises

As Valentine's Day approaches, Marg...
14

43870 Views

At Long Last Leave

Fed up with the family's negative i...
15

43904 Views

Exit Through The Kwik-E-M

Bart becomes a famous street artist...
16

43966 Views

How I Wet Your Mother

With help from one of Professor Fri...
17

42075 Views

Them, Robot

Homer becomes the last human employ...
18

42752 Views

Beware My Cheating Bart

Bart falls for Jimbo's girlfriend S...
19

58048 Views

A Totally Fun Thing Bart

The Simpsons vacation on a cruise l...
20

45154 Views

The Spy Who Learned Me

After being injured at work, Homer ...
21

48502 Views

Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agend

Complications ensue when Flanders a...
22

46572 Views

Lisa Goes Gaga

Singer Lady Gaga attempts to cheer ...

season 23 1002.2k views

Season 24

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34086 Views

Moonshine River

Bart seeks out Cletus's daughter, w...
2

79846 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIII

In these three Halloween tales... a...
3

38248 Views

Adventures in Baby-gettin

Marge decides she wants to conceive...
4

33658 Views

Gone Abie Gone

Homer and Marge search for Grampa a...
5

35684 Views

Penny-Wiseguys

While serving jury duty, Fat Tony a...
6

41226 Views

A Tree Grows in Springfie

After his beloved new tablet "MyPad...
7

39071 Views

The Day the Earth Stood C

Homer is elated when a cool dad and...
8

47063 Views

To Cur, With Love

When Bart accuses Homer of not liki...
9

42856 Views

Homer Goes to Prep School

The Simpsons anticipate the apocaly...
10

41658 Views

A Test Before Trying

Bart must pass a district-wide test...
11

42292 Views

The Changing of the Guard

After narrowly surviving a tornado,...
12

46882 Views

Love is a Many-Splintered

Bart attempts to patch things up wi...
13

43467 Views

Hardly Kirk-ing

With Bart's help, Milhouse transfor...
14

40356 Views

Gorgeous Grampa

With encouragement from Mr. Burns, ...
15

43510 Views

Black-Eyed, Please

When Flanders gives Homer a black e...
16

46608 Views

Dark Knight Court

Bart stands trial in youth court af...
17

44363 Views

What Animated Women Want

In an episode that focuses on the c...
18

42203 Views

Pulpit Friction

Lovejoy quits the church after the ...
19

44513 Views

Whiskey Business

Moe's new suit catches the attentio...
20

44530 Views

The Fabulous Faker Boy

Bart takes piano lessons in hopes o...
21

46607 Views

The Saga of Carl

Homer, Moe and Lenny travel to Icel...
22

48293 Views

Dangers on a Train

Homer secretly reconstructs a kiddy...

season 24 967k views

Season 25

23 Episodes by popularity

1

222263 Views

Homerland

When Homer returns from a Nuclear W...
2

174401 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIV

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
3

120607 Views

Four Regrettings and a Fu

A Springfield funeral prompts Marge...
4

115852 Views

YOLO

After experiencing a midlife crisis...
5

105882 Views

Labor Pains

Homer gets trapped in an elevator w...
6

100904 Views

The Kid Is All Right

Lisa is elated to befriend Isabel, ...
7

100230 Views

Yellow Subterfuge

Bart seeks revenge after Skinner pr...
8

95062 Views

White Christmas Blues

As Christmas approaches, Marge tran...
9

96591 Views

Steal This Episode

Homer is put on trial after the FBI...
10

91824 Views

Married to the Blob

The Comic Book Guy marries a Japane...
11

93450 Views

Specs and the City

Homer uses augmented reality glasse...
12

87891 Views

Diggs

Bart befriends a fellow student and...
13

93366 Views

The Man Who Grew Too Much

Sideshow Bob genetically alters his...
14

90794 Views

The Winter of His Content

When the Simpsons allow members of ...
15

87316 Views

The War of Art

Homer convinces Marge to sell a pai...
16

87762 Views

You Don't Have to Live Li

After Lisa delivers a school report...
17

88639 Views

Luca$

Lisa falls for a competitive eater ...
18

110222 Views

Days of Future Future

Thirty years in the future, Bart tr...
19

92359 Views

What to Expect When Bart'

Bart uses voodoo in an attempt to g...
20

108463 Views

Brick Like Me

After Homer bonds with Lisa, Homer'...
21

95698 Views

Pay Pal

As Mother's Day approaches, after H...
22

89945 Views

Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Bart is overcome with guilt after a...
25

7349 Views

The Longest Daycare

A theatrical short that premiered J...

season 25 2356.9k views

Season 26

22 Episodes by popularity

1

53334 Views

Clown in the Dumps

The unthinkable happens: a Springfi...
2

39600 Views

The Wreck of the Relation

Homer and Bart set sail on the rela...
3

24551 Views

Super Franchise Me

Marge opens a sandwich shop....
4

39395 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXV

Don't miss the all-new, spooktacula...
5

18405 Views

Opposites-A-Frack

An all-new episode featuring guest ...
6

33004 Views

Simpsorama

The Simpsons travel to the 31st cen...
7

21977 Views

Blazed and Confused

Bart faces a tough test at school w...
8

17954 Views

Covercraft

Homer forms a cover band with some ...
9

18015 Views

I Won't Be Home For Chris

Marge doesn't approve of Homer's Ch...
10

18259 Views

The Man Who Came To Be Di

An amusement park ride lands the Si...
11

21675 Views

Bart's New Friend

Bart and Homer become BFF's....
12

18219 Views

The Musk Who Fell to Eart

Homer becomes muse to Elon Musk....
13

16150 Views

Walking Big and Tall

Springfield gets a new town anthem....
14

15380 Views

My Fare Lady

Marge trades in her mom-chauffeur h...
15

11443 Views

The Princess Guide

Moe plots revenge over Nigerian e-m...
16

17978 Views

Sky Police

The Springfield congregation turns ...
17

10345 Views

Waiting for Duffman

When Duffman undergoes hip replacem...
18

12220 Views

Peeping Mom

Bart lies about being involved in a...
19

13681 Views

The Kids Are All Fight

When Homer gets an old film roll de...
20

11623 Views

Let's Go Fly A Coot

The Simpsons learn about Grampa's d...
21

13985 Views

Bull-E

After Bart gets bullied at the scho...
22

30172 Views

Mathlete's Feat

When a modernized Springfield Eleme...

season 26 477.4k views

Season 27

10 Episodes by popularity

1

39591 Views

Every Man's Dream

SEASON PREMIERE. Homer and Marge ha...
2

32696 Views

Cue Detective

Scotty Boom, a Chew Network super-c...
3

29654 Views

Puffless

Upon learning that their father rea...
4

34478 Views

Halloween of Horror

Homer and Lisa hide out in the atti...
5

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season 27 243.2k views

x

00:18

(Springfield: EXT. springfield - aerial shot - night - CHRISTMAS EVE)

00:18

(Evergreen Terrace: eXT. EVERGREEN TERRACE - NIGHT)

00:18

Marge Simpson: Wrong holiday, stupid!

00:23

Mechanical Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! (INCREASINGLY HIGH PITCHED AND FAST) Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

00:29

Marge Simpson: (MAD) I could use some help!

00:31

(Simpson Home: Int. SIMPSON house - TV room - CONTINUOUS)

00:31

Homer Simpson: Marge, I'm watching a rerun of an important Bowl game.

00:35

Football Announcer: (KEITH JACKSON) And that last touchdown makes it sixty-seven to thirteen.

00:37

Homer Simpson: Maggie. (CHUCKLES)

00:39

Marge Simpson: Lisa, what are you doing?

00:41

Lisa Simpson: Marking a crime scene. To celebrate a ancient pagan ritual, this tree was cut down and tarted up like a dime-a-dance floozy.

00:51

Marge Simpson: (AGGRAVATED NOISE) Next you'll have a problem with my gingerbread house.

00:54

Lisa Simpson: You mean your gingerbread McMansion.

00:59

Homer Simpson: Hey, show some respect. Three gingerbread workmen died making that.

01:04

Homer Simpson: I'm sorry, but this leg's gonna have to go.

01:09

Homer Simpson: (GENTLY) You're gonna be okay.

01:11

Homer Simpson: It's almost over.

01:13

Homer Simpson: Now to take care of the witnesses.

01:16

Bart Simpson: Hey, I need those cookies for Santa.

01:19

Marge Simpson: (PLEASED) At least someone around here's got the Christmas spirit.

01:24

Bart Simpson: Yep. Come midnight, I'll be sittin' here with cold cookies, warm milk, and hot lead.

01:30

Marge Simpson: (AGHAST) What?

01:30

Bart Simpson: For the last three years, I've asked that rosy-cheeked nog-hog for a dirt bike. And all he brought me was a zillion lame-o toys that I immediately broke and threw in this bag.

01:42

Marge Simpson: But you wanted those toys.

01:45

Bart Simpson: I wanted them till I got them! But this year I'm gettin' my dirt bike.

01:51

Marge Simpson: Even Mac Davis himself couldn't save this Christmas.

01:54

Bart Simpson: (ANNOYED) Great, Mom. Now I lost track of my pump count. (GRIMLY PUMPING) One pump, two pump...

Marge Simpson: (ANGRY MURMUR)

02:08

Bart Simpson: (MUTTERING IN HIS SLEEP) Bowl full of jelly, pump lead in his belly...

02:15

Bart Simpson: Wha?

02:17

Conductor: All aboard the Polar Express!

02:19

Otto Mann: Direct service to the North Pole, with stops at Candy Cane Corners, Sugarplum Square, Jack Frost Junction, Fa La La La Lane, Nutcracker Street, and Hanukah Heights.

02:30

Bart Simpson: (ANNOYED) Some "express." (HOPS IN)

02:30

(Springfield: ext. Springfield - night)

02:30

Bart Simpson: (GASPS) We're flying!

02:35

Otto Mann: Yep, she'll fly all right, you just gotta keep her happy.

03:10

(Train: Ext. train - continuous)

03:10

(North Pole: ext. north pole - night)

03:10

(TRAIN PLATFORM: ext. train platform - continuous)

03:10

Bart Simpson: Excuse me, Mister Goblin?

03:12

Moe Szyslak: (DEFENSIVE) Elf! I'm an elf! (VICIOUS SNARLING NOISE)

03:12

Bart Simpson: (A LITTLE SCARED) Whatever you say. Um, look, how do I get to Santa?

03:17

Moe Szyslak: Oh no. Only the top elves get to meet Santa.

03:20

Moe Szyslak: You start in the wrapping room! That'll take you right down.

03:25

Moe Szyslak: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doin'? That leads to the daycare center. You take the freight elevator.

03:40

(WRAPPING ROOM: Int. wrapping room - continuous)

03:40

Bart Simpson: (LOOKS AROUND) Isn't this the busy season? Where is everybody?

03:45

Milhouse Van Houten: Laid off.

03:46

Nelson Muntz: After NAFTA, a lot of these jobs went to the South Pole.

03:50

Bart Simpson: Well, who needs wrapping paper anyway? Just stick a bow on the toy and you're ready to go.

03:54

Bart Simpson: Bow, bow, bow, bow, bing, bang, boom!

03:57

Moe Szyslak: You are clearly too smart to be down here with these dingle-bells. I'm promotin' you to Toy Inspector. The rest of youse are laid off. Scram.

04:06

Nelson Muntz: I can't lose my health insurance. My lungs are full of candy cane dust!

04:12

Moe Szyslak: Hey, you twos can go work for the Easter Bunny!

04:14

Moe Szyslak: Oh that's right, he ain't real! Heh.

04:27

(TOY INSPECTION AREA: int. toy inspection area - a little later)

04:27

Moe Szyslak: Kid, you got a lot of shoddy, money-saving ideas. Like a major airline but you were here on time. Come with me.

04:43

(CLAUSCO BUILDING: ext. clausco building - day)

04:43

Lisa Simpson: (FAST-TALKING, '30s) So you're the brown nosed reindeer that's jingled all the way to the top.

04:47

Bart Simpson: Just point me to Santa.

04:48

Lisa Simpson: Oh, I know what you're after. The toy you never got.

04:52

Bart Simpson: (PUSHING HER ASIDE) You're outta your ("EFFIN") elfin mind!

04:54

Lisa Simpson: (DRYLY) Oh really? Well let me ask you this, how many kids bring a gun to meet Santa?

05:00

Bart Simpson: Okay. You got me. But I'm gettin' my dirt bike -- and you can't stop me.

05:04

Lisa Simpson: Security!

Lisa Simpson: (SIGHS)

05:21

Bart Simpson: No disrespect, fat man, but you'd better poop out a dirt bike.

05:26

Santa Claus: (KRUSTY VOICE) Close the door, boy. I can't afford to heat the whole North Pole.

05:34

Bart Simpson: Listen here, Kringle. I may have been naughty this year. But by today's standards, naughty's nothing. I didn't get anybody pregnant, I didn't Facebook a kid to death... make with my dirt bike!

05:43

Santa Claus: Kid... this company's bust. For years I've been giving out free toys and gettin' cookies in return. It's not a sustainable business model.

05:52

Bart Simpson: Oh c'mon, man. Things aren't that bad.

05:55

Santa Claus: They're pretty bad. I'm eating my own reindeer here!

05:59

Bart Simpson: (MOAN) You win.

06:03

Santa Claus: (CHUCKLES) That's a good boy.

06:04

Santa Claus: You go home now. And maybe there'll be a nice pair of work socks under your tree.

06:10

Bart Simpson: (MOVED) You don't have to do that. I have socks. I'll give you socks!

06:14

Santa Claus: Thanks, kid. Now you'd better head home. I'm sure in the twenty-five years of Earth time you've been gone, your parents have gotten worried.

06:23

Santa Claus: Kids never change. Always dumb as potatoes.

06:46

Chief Wiggum: (ON BULLHORN) Pull over!

06:48

(Train: Int. train - continuous)

06:48

Otto Mann: Hey kid, you ever wanted a train for Christmas? This one's yours!

07:03

(Simpson Home: ext. simpson house - Lisa's room - night)

07:03

Lisa Simpson: Why can't they leave a poor tree in the woods where it belongs?

07:08

"Bing Crosby": (SINGS) I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS...

07:12

(1940S VERSION OF SIMPSON HOUSE: ext. 1940s version of simpson house - evening)

07:12

"Bing Crosby": (SINGS) IF ONLY IN MY DREAMS... (SPOKEN) Hey, hey, that song goes out to all the G.I.s overseas and the folks missing 'em here at home. Brought to you by Chesterton cigarettes. Chesterton. They feel like me, singin' in your throat.

07:30

Lisa Simpson: (SAD) Can it really be Christmas when one of our parents is facing the German army?

07:34

(ARDENNES FOREST: ext. ardennes forest - battle of the bulge - day)

07:34

Gruff Sergeant: Simpson! Get your helmet on!

07:34

Marge Simpson: I'm trying! It just keeps popping off.

German: (SCREAM OF GREAT PAIN)

07:44

Marge Simpson: (SCREAMS, THEN BREATHING HEAVILY, TRYING TO COMPOSE HERSELF) You can make it through this, Marge. Just think of Homer.

07:54

(Springfield Aircraft Plant: int. sPRINGFIELD aircraft plant - EVENING)

07:54

Agnes Skinner: Hey, Simpson! How come you ain't in combat like a real man?!

07:59

Homer Simpson: (EMBARRASSED) I'm too fat to fit in a foxhole.

Women: (DERISIVE LAUGH)

08:04

(1940S VERSION OF SIMPSON HOUSE: ext. 1940s version of simpson house - late afternoon)

08:04

Homer Simpson: Kids, remember when I promised to feed us from that victory garden? Well, instead I grew this tree!

08:09

Lisa Simpson: (STEPPING INTO DOORWAY) Don't dare bring that thing in here!

08:12

Homer Simpson: (BAFFLED NOISE) You don't want a Christmas tree? That's crazy! Next you won't want a Christmas ham.

08:17

Lisa Simpson: Don't worry about that. I love meat and I always will.

08:21

Lisa Simpson: (RELISHING IT) Mmm-mm, that is some sweet pig meat. But as for Christmas trees... I used to love them -- until last year, when I went tree shopping with Mom...

08:32

(1943 SPRINGFIELD: ext. 1943 springfield - christmas tree lot - evening)

08:32

Marge Simpson: This tree reminds me of your father. It's round in the middle, thinning on top, and your hands get sticky when you touch it.

08:40

Selma Bouvier: Simpson, you're shipping out tonight!

08:42

Marge Simpson: Right before Christmas?

08:43

Patty Bouvier: Hitler doesn't take a holiday!

08:46

Selma Bouvier: Well he does, but he doesn't tell people till the last minute so they can't make plans.

08:50

Patty Bouvier: Bastard.

08:52

Marge Simpson: But I...

08:58

(Simpson Home: ext. simpson house - late afternoon - christmas eve 1944)

08:58

Lisa Simpson: So I never want to see another Christmas tree... until Mom comes back, safe and sound. (SMALL SOBS)

09:06

Homer Simpson: Sweetie, if your mother was in trouble, they'd tell us as soon as they could.

09:10

Western Union Boy: (SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN) Telegram!

Homer Simpson: (ANNOYED GRUNT)

09:15

Homer Simpson: Marge is Mia? (SOBS) Oh my God, she changed her name?

09:21

Western Union Boy: No, that says she's missing in action.

Homer Simpson: (ANGUISHED WAIL)

09:25

Lisa Simpson: (SOBS) See? Every time we get a tree, Mom disappears!

09:31

Homer Simpson: Why couldn't it have been me?

09:31

Western Union Boy: It still could be. You just have to go down to the recruiting station and--

09:36

Homer Simpson: Shut up.

09:46

(Evergreen Terrace: ext. evergreen terrace - night)

09:46

Lisa Simpson: (SAD SOUND)... (SAD SOUND)... (PUZZLED SOUND)...

09:52

Lisa Simpson: Oh no! This is where they took Mom from me!

Lisa Simpson: (SHORT SCREAM)

09:59

Tree Salesman: (GRIMLY) I've been waiting for you.

10:03

Tree Salesman: (KINDLY, NORMAL WISEGUY) Your mom paid for this tree last year, but never took it. I've watered it, kept it fresh, and every time I look at this blue spruce, it reminds me of your good old mom.

10:13

Tree Salesman: Here. Let me trim it for you.

10:17

Tree Salesman: And uh, decorate it a little.

10:21

Lisa Simpson: It's a sign. Mom's okay! (INCREDIBLY TOUCHED) Thank you.

10:27

Tree Salesman: Yeah. (SADLY) My only sale all year and it's not even a sale.

10:31

Homer Simpson: Whose turn is it to cry?

10:33

Bart Simpson: Yours.

Homer Simpson: (HUGE SOBS)

10:37

Grampa Simpson: Quitcher bellyaching about Marge and let me read the paper.

10:41

Homer Simpson: (GASP) Look at that picture!

Bart Simpson: (BIGGER SOBS)

10:47

Grampa Simpson: Oh, for cryin' out loud.

Bart Simpson: (SOBS)

Homer Simpson: (CONFUSED NOISE)

10:52

Bart Simpson: Huh? I thought you said you didn't want a tree.

10:55

Lisa Simpson: Yes, but then I learned that there's always hope. Someday this war will be over. Someday our Mom will be back.

11:03

Homer Simpson: Someday TV will be invented, and it will be free. Then it will cost money.

11:08

Lisa Simpson: But until then this tree will stand for everything Mom believes in: home, family and constantly sweeping up needles.

11:15

Lisa Simpson: O TANNENBAUM, O TANNENBAUM...

11:19

Bart Simpson: ...WIE TREU SIND DEINE BLÄTTER!

11:23

Lisa Simpson: DU GRUNST NICHT NUR ZUR SOMMERZEIT, /

11:27

Lisa Simpson: NEIN AUCH IM WINTER, WENN ES SCHNEIT...

11:55

(LE GAMAAR MOVIE THEATER: ext. le gamaar movie theater - paris - night)

11:55

(Movie Theater: int. movie theater - front lobby - continuous)

11:55

Hamlet: I pooped my tights.

12:24

Hitler: (TERRIFIED) Nein! Nein! Why did I go to the nine o'clock show?

12:28

Hitler: Das ist Hitler!

12:36

Marge Simpson: (ACTION HERO) Auf Wiedersehen.

12:40

Lisa Simpson: This is the last time I bring these two to bed at the same time.

12:49

(Simpson Home: ext. simpson house - night - establishing)

12:49

Marge Simpson: (WRITING) "I've always believed in you even when others didn't. Can you help save our family Christmas? Marge Simpson."

Marge Simpson: (GASP)

13:23

(SNOWY LANDSCAPE: ext. snowy landscape - night)

13:23

(House: int. house - living room - continuous)

13:23

Martha Stewart: (DRAMATIC) Marge Simpson, I'm on my way!

13:32

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - master bedroom - christmas morning)

13:32

Martha Stewart: Wake up, Marge! Magical memories don't make themselves!

13:35

Marge Simpson: (THRILLED) Martha Stewart! (PUZZLED) How did you get in here?!

13:39

Martha Stewart: A picket fence stood on its end makes a sturdy and attractive ladder.

13:42

(House: eXT. house - continuous)

13:42

(Marge's Bedroom: Int. Marge's bedroom - continuous)

13:42

Martha Stewart: Now let's make that bed.

13:53

Martha Stewart: A smattering of pinecones...

13:56

Martha Stewart: And with a little bit of work, this wedding dress can make a great dust ruffle!

14:00

Marge Simpson: But I was gonna-- (THEN) Oooh!

14:06

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - living room - day)

14:06

Marge Simpson: So, this stuff will just shampoo out, huh?

14:09

Martha Stewart: Why would you want to shampoo it out?

14:13

Bart Simpson: (CHUCKLES, OUT OF BREATH) Me and Milhouse had a snowball fight, then an ice-ball fight, then a fight-fight!

14:18

Martha Stewart: You boys want to play soldier?

14:20

Bart Simpson: I can't think of a better way to spend Jesus' birthday.

14:29

Milhouse Van Houten: I'm not sure I like where this is going.

14:33

Martha Stewart: Well I'm not sure anyone asked your opinion.

Milhouse Van Houten: (MUFFLED SOUNDS)

14:47

Martha Stewart: (UPBEAT) Squeeze your shoulder blades together!

14:50

Martha Stewart: Now march -- and after an hour you can relax with some hand-shaved hot cocoa and a trial subscription to "Martha Stewart Living."

Milhouse Van Houten: (MUFFLED)

15:02

Martha Stewart: (HUMS "MARCH OF THE TOY SOLDIERS" FROM "THE NUTCRACKER") And out!

15:02

Lisa Simpson: Ms. Stewart, I made a star for the tree out of discarded water bottles!

15:07

Martha Stewart: Lovely, dear. Except I would've soaked the labels off with warm water. Then I would've melted the plastic down in a double-boiler, and poured it into a candy mold. And finally, I wouldn't have presented it quite so proudly.

15:18

Lisa Simpson: (CHASTENED) I'll go outside and make snow angels.

15:20

Martha Stewart: Lie face down and your beautiful smile will be molded into the snow!

15:24

Lisa Simpson: (DEFEATED) Okay.

15:36

Martha Stewart: Now this... is a challenge.

15:47

Martha Stewart: There: a slumbering hubby is now a traditional Christmas tableau. (TO CAMERA) Copyright Martha Stewart.

Homer Simpson: (GROGGY NOISE)

15:56

Marge Simpson: (WORRIED MURMUR) He's starting to wake up.

15:57

Martha Stewart: A little of my "Hubby's Holiday Helper" will calm him right down.

Marge Simpson: (CONCERNED NOISE)

16:03

Martha Stewart: Don't worry, Marge. It's a good thing.

Homer Simpson: (WORRIED NOISE)

16:05

Martha Stewart: There, there...

Homer Simpson: (SCARED NOISE)

16:07

Martha Stewart: Shh...

Homer Simpson: (MUFFLED RELAXING SOUND)

16:12

Marge Simpson: Martha, the house looks beautiful -- it's like Christmas with a childless gay couple. But it's just not the same without my family being themselves.

16:20

Martha Stewart: (CHIPPER, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE) Well, thanks for wasting my time. (NORMAL) I'll just wave my magic wand and turn everything back the way it was!

16:26

Marge Simpson: You have a magic wand?

16:28

Martha Stewart: Yes, I made it myself. Take an old car antenna, marinate it overnight in the tears of a heartbroken leprechaun, bake at 350 till a rainbow shoots out of the oven, and there you go.

16:39

Marge Simpson: (SIGHS) I guess I'll never have a perfect Christmas.

16:43

Lisa Simpson: Merry Christmas, Mom!

16:45

Bart Simpson: We brought you breakfast in bed!

16:47

Homer Simpson: Now we just have to make it.

16:50

Lisa Simpson: (SING) IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE BREAKFAST...

16:55

Lisa Simpson: (SINGS) ...EVERYWHERE YOU GO

16:58

Homer Simpson: (SING) YOU'LL BE OH SO PLEASED / WHEN THE O.J. IS FRESHLY-SQUEEZED / AND TOAST IS MADE FROM HOMEMADE (ANNOYED GRUNT)

17:05

Homer Simpson: WE'RE GONNA GO OUT FOR BREAKFAST / WE'LL GO OUT TO EAT / IT'LL BE ANY PLACE YOU CHOOSE / AS LONG AS IT'S RUN BY JEWS / (EXITING) 'CAUSE THEY DON'T THINK THIS HOLIDAY'S SO GREAT.

17:29

Homer Simpson: (SINGS) ALOHA'OE / ALOHA'OE... Hurry up, kids! We gotta get to the airport!

17:36

Lisa Simpson: Did you get a good house-sitter?

17:38

Moe Szyslak: Moe Szyslak, house-sitter extraordinaire!

17:42

Moe Szyslak: Sticks and stones may break my bones...

17:44

Moe Szyslak: Ow! Hey! Stop it! (NOTICING) Ooh, Cookies!

Moe Szyslak: (COOKIE MONSTER EATING NOISES)

17:51

Moe Szyslak: Great at the chewin', not so hot at the swallowing.

17:53

Homer Simpson: Now remember, pack only necessities.

Lisa Simpson: (CHORTLE)

18:02

Moe Szyslak: Hey, baby, it's Moe. Calling yaz from my new bachelor pad, at 742 Evergreen Terrace. (INTO PHONE) Yeah, okay, sugarplum. I'll see you soon.

18:11

Moe Szyslak: Hey, get this off! Hey, get this off!

18:16

Homer Simpson: Now nothing stands between us and sunny Hawa...

18:19

C. Montgomery Burns: Merry Humbug, everyone!

18:20

Homer Simpson: Ai-yi-yi-yi!

18:22

Marge Simpson: What's wrong, Homie?

18:23

Homer Simpson: I got the week off by telling Mr. Burns I had a neck injury!

18:29

Homer Simpson: Mr. Burns, why'd you come to see me?

18:32

C. Montgomery Burns: Well, last night, I had a visit from three spirits...

18:35

Grampa Simpson: I wish this show had a visit from three new writers.

Jasper Beardly: (LAUGHTER)

18:40

C. Montgomery Burns: Wait, what's this? Carpetbags and portmanteaus? (SUSPICIOUS) Going somewhere, Simpson?

18:46

Homer Simpson: Uh... uh...

18:48

Moe Szyslak: Hey guys, uh, you'll need this on your trip to Hawa--

Moe Szyslak: (FALLING TO GROUND NOISE)

18:52

C. Montgomery Burns: Hm, your goblin fainted.

18:54

Moe Szyslak: Not a goblin.

18:56

C. Montgomery Burns: Simpson! Where's your Christmas tree?

18:58

Homer Simpson: Coming!

18:59

Ned Flanders: Homer! Gimme back my tree!

Ned Flanders: (SCREAM OF PAIN)

19:12

C. Montgomery Burns: Well, I won't interrupt your holiday any longer. (HEADING OUT) Merry Christmas to all and to all a good... pop star slash fashionista, Katy Perry?!

19:25

Katy Perry: What are you people doing in my boyfriend Moe's bachelor pad?

Lisa Simpson: (SHOCKED GASP)

19:29

Moe Szyslak: That's right, she's into puppets.

19:32

C. Montgomery Burns: Just what's going on here?

19:34

Homer Simpson: Fine, I'll come clean.

19:37

C. Montgomery Burns: (GASPS) It's a Christmas miraculum!

19:39

Homer Simpson: No, it's not. (ADMITTING) I just told a lie so we could go to Hawaii.

19:44

C. Montgomery Burns: (FURIOUS) You lied to me! Release the hounds!

19:53

C. Montgomery Burns: They'll be here any minute!

19:58

Sock Puppet Dog: We uh, blew the budget on Katy Perry.

C. Montgomery Burns: (AGGRAVATED NOISE)

20:02

Katy Perry: Someone totally needs a hug!

20:07

C. Montgomery Burns: I kissed a girl and I liked it! All is forgiven, Simpsons. Go and enjoy (OVER-PRONOUNCED) Ha-va-eee.

Lisa Simpson: (HAPPY YELLING)

20:15

C. Montgomery Burns: Just as soon as we sing one Christmas carol.

20:22

Bart Simpson: Oh man, not the lame-o "Twelve Days of Christmas."

20:22

C. Montgomery Burns: Of course not! I want to sing the original, unabridged "Thirty-Nine Days Of Christmas". And a one and a two...

20:36

Katy Perry: THIRTY-NINE FOPS A-FOPPING /

20:38

Katy Perry: THIRTY-EIGHT FISHWIVES HAWKING /

20:39

Katy Perry: THIRTY-SEVEN COOPERS COOPING / THIRTY-SIX BOOTBLACKS BUFFING / THIRTY-FIVE BUSKERS BUSKING / THIRTY-FOUR SOMETHING SOMETHINGS / THIRTY-THREE ALCHEMISTS TRANSMUTING / THIRTY-TWO DUTCHMEN PLOTTING / THIRTY-ONE DOCTORS LEECHING / (À LA "FIVE GOLDEN RINGS")

20:50

Katy Perry: THIRTY YEAR AVERAGE LIFESPAN...

20:53

Announcer: Tonight's Simpson episode was brought to you by the symbol "umlaut"...

20:53

Announcer: And the number e. Not the letter e, but the number whose exponential function is the derivative of itself.

21:04

Grampa Simpson: Well, it's been a long run, but I think this'll kill it.

21:07

Jasper Beardly: What? The Simpsons?

21:09

Grampa Simpson: No, Christmas.

Jasper Beardly: (LAUGH)

21:15

Moe Szyslak: TWENTY-NINE SMITHS A-FORGING / TWENTY-EIGHT COOPERS COOPING...

21:15

Bart Simpson: We did that one already!

21:16

Homer Simpson: Sh!

21:45

Moe Szyslak: TWENTY-SEVEN EELERS EELING / TWENTY-SIX ANARCHISTS BOMBING / TWENTY-FIVE SWAMIS FORESEEING / TWENTY-FOUR SIDEBURNS CURLING / TWENTY-THREE MONKS A-CHANTING / TWENTY-TWO RATS A-PLAGUING / TWENTY-ONE COXSWAINS CALLING / TWENTY FLAUTISTS FLUTING / NINETEEN FOOTMEN BOWING / EIGHTEEN GUNGAS DINNING / SEVENTEEN SEVENTY-SI-IX / SIXTEEN MIDWIVES BIRTHING / FIFTEEN ALIENISTS ALIENING / FOURTEEN JACKS A-RIPPING / (THEY TAKE A BIG BREATH) THIRTEEN SCRIVENERS SCRIVNING / TWELVE LORDS A-LEAP--

21:45

Moe Szyslak: I'll just kiss your bellybutton.

21:49

Katy Perry: That's not my bellybutton. (BEAT) But I didn't say "stop."

SEASON 22 EPISODE 8

The Fight Before Christmas

Four Christmas tales... Bart takes a 'Polar Express' ride to ask Santa for a dirt bike; Lisa worries after Marge is drafted to fight Nazis; Martha Stewart helps spruce-up the house; the family celebrates a Muppet Christmas. ...

GUEST VOICES
Martha Stewart
Katy Perry

WRITERS
Dan Castellaneta
Deb Lacusta

Read More +

CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

Expand

Close X

Clip From S22/E8

Bart Wants a Dirt Bike
Clip From S22/E8

Bart Wants a Dirt Bike

Bart confronts Santa Claus about his dirt bike.
Clip From S22/E8

Movie Theater Attack
Clip From S22/E8

Movie Theater Attack

Marge machine guns the Nazis in a movie theater.
Clip From S22/E8

Marge Writes a Letter
Clip From S22/E8

Marge Writes a Letter

Marge writes to Martha Stewart to save Christmas.
Clip From S22/E8

Martha Stewart's Ideas
Clip From S22/E8

Martha Stewart's Ideas

Martha Stewart decorates the living room.
Clip From S22/E8

A Katy Perry Christmas
Clip From S22/E8

A Katy Perry Christmas

Katy Perry visits the Simpson house.

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