Days of Wine and D'Ohses | season 11 episode 18 | Simpsons World

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13 Episodes by popularity

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Simpsons Roasting on an O

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Homer's Night Out

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Some Enchanted Evening

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season 1 979.6k views

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Bart Gets an F

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Simpson and Delilah

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Two Cars in Every Garage

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Dancin' Homer

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Dead Putting Society

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Itchy and Scratchy and Ma

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The Way We Was

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Principal Charming

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16

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17

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Old Money

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18

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Brush with Greatness

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21

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season 2 1344.9k views

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52387 Views

Stark Raving Dad

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Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingt

The Simpsons travel to the Nation's...
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6

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Like Father, Like Clown

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Lisa's Pony

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Flaming Moe's

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59641 Views

I Married Marge

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69439 Views

Radio Bart

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14

53680 Views

Lisa the Greek

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15

58646 Views

Homer Alone

When Marge reaches the breaking poi...
16

65337 Views

Bart the Lover

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17

89907 Views

Homer at the Bat

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18

64447 Views

Separate Vocations

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19

55292 Views

Dog of Death

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55248 Views

Colonel Homer

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63615 Views

Black Widower

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22

57164 Views

The Otto Show

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23

55416 Views

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season 3 1470.9k views

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67494 Views

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Bart and Lisa are horrified when th...
2

48709 Views

A Streetcar Named Marge

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3

62815 Views

Homer the Heretic

Homer creates his own religion as a...
4

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Lisa the Beauty Queen

Homer enters Lisa in a beauty pagea...
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118957 Views

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6

59279 Views

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Mr. Plow

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Selma's Choice

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Brother from the Same Pla

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I Love Lisa

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16

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Duffless

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17

61332 Views

Last Exit to Springfield

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18

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So It's Come to This: A S

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The Front

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Whacking Day

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21

74814 Views

Marge in Chains

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71832 Views

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2

77972 Views

Cape Feare

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3

71128 Views

Homer Goes to College

Homer enrolls in a nuclear physics ...
4

70163 Views

Rosebud

The Simpsons find Mr. Burns' long-l...
5

128251 Views

Treehouse of Horror IV

In a ghoulish gallery, Bart hosts t...
6

59918 Views

Marge on the Lam

Marge joins divorcee Ruth Powers fo...
7

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Bart's Inner Child

The host of a self-help workshop co...
8

92712 Views

Boy-Scoutz 'N the Hood

Bart inadvertently joins the Junior...
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$pringfield (Or, How I Le

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11

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12

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Bart Gets Famous

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14

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Bart Gets an Elephant

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Burns' Heir

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19

73102 Views

Sweet Seymour Skinner's B

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20

76536 Views

The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Only Bart can clear Mayor Quimby's ...
21

66207 Views

Lady Bouvier's Lover

Grampa and Mr. Burns vie for Mrs. B...
22

74623 Views

Secrets of a Successful M

Marge kicks Homer out of the house ...

season 5 1709.1k views

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

61700 Views

Bart of Darkness

Bart believes he witnessed Ned Flan...
2

53700 Views

Lisa's Rival

Lisa becomes jealous when she meets...
3

41528 Views

Another Simpsons Clip Sho

When Marge suspects that romance ha...
4

84201 Views

Itchy and Scratchy Land

The Simpsons visit a theme park bas...
5

67506 Views

Sideshow Bob Roberts

Sideshow Bob runs for political off...
6

121514 Views

Treehouse of Horror V

The Simpsons spin three tales of Ha...
7

67785 Views

Bart's Girlfriend

Bart falls in love with Reverend Lo...
8

63360 Views

Lisa on Ice

Lisa joins a hockey team and finds ...
9

69179 Views

Homer Badman

Homer is wrongly accused of committ...
10

64626 Views

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequ

While selling a homemade tonic guar...
11

61498 Views

Fear of Flying

Marge seeks professional help from ...
12

73162 Views

Homer the Great

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13

65696 Views

And Maggie Makes Three

Homer recounts how Maggie's acciden...
14

68553 Views

Bart's Comet

Bart discovers a comet that is on a...
15

75162 Views

Homie the Clown

Homer enrolls in a clown college fr...
16

96435 Views

Bart vs. Australia

Bart must apologize to the country ...
17

66596 Views

Homer vs. Patty and Selma

Homer is forced to borrow money fro...
18

78606 Views

A Star Is Burns

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19

106546 Views

Lisa's Wedding

A fortune teller describes how a ge...
20

68818 Views

Two Dozen and One Greyhou

Bart and Lisa attempt to rescue 25 ...
21

74933 Views

The PTA Disbands

Bart masterminds a teacher's strike...
22

65034 Views

'Round Springfield

Lisa is saddened by the death of bl...
23

78587 Views

The Springfield Connectio

Marge joins the police force....
24

77773 Views

Lemon of Troy

Bart and his friends march on Shelb...
25

91631 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Just about everyone in Springfield ...

season 6 1844.1k views

Season 7

25 Episodes by popularity

1

65213 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Lisa aids police with the investiga...
2

62441 Views

Radioactive Man

Hollywood producers cast Milhouse i...
3

62326 Views

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum

The Flanders gain custody of the Si...
4

67021 Views

Bart Sells His Soul

Bart sells his soul to Milhouse for...
5

71299 Views

Lisa the Vegetarian

Lisa turns vegetarian after her fam...
6

119339 Views

Treehouse of Horror VI

The Simpsons appear in three horrif...
7

82539 Views

King-Size Homer

Homer intentionally gains weight so...
8

60449 Views

Mother Simpson

After Homer fakes his own death, hi...
9

67195 Views

Sideshow Bob's Last Gleam

Sideshow Bob threatens to detonate ...
10

59378 Views

The Simpsons 138th Episod

Troy McClure hosts this special 138...
11

72472 Views

Marge Be Not Proud

As Christmas approaches, Marge trea...
12

83787 Views

Team Homer

Homer reluctantly accepts Mr. Burns...
13

66521 Views

Two Bad Neighbors

Former President George Bush and hi...
14

60672 Views

Scenes from the Class Str

The Simpsons apply for membership a...
15

64632 Views

Bart the Fink

Krusty is arrested for massive tax ...
16

65752 Views

Lisa the Iconoclast

Lisa discovers that Jebediah Spring...
17

77923 Views

Homer the Smithers

Homer acts as Mr. Burns' assistant ...
18

61643 Views

The Day the Violence Died

Bart and Lisa come to the aid of a ...
19

71501 Views

A Fish Called Selma

Troy McClure stages a Hollywood com...
20

76561 Views

Bart on the Road

Using a fake driver's license, Bart...
21

73947 Views

22 Short Films About Spri

The lives of Springfield residents ...
22

75288 Views

Raging Abe Simpson and Hi

Grampa and Mr. Burns, the last surv...
23

70624 Views

Much Apu About Nothing

Apu faces deportation when a refere...
24

70761 Views

Homerpalooza

Homer is hired to perform in a rock...
25

73201 Views

Summer of 4 Ft. 2

While on summer vacation with her f...

season 7 1782.5k views

Season 8

25 Episodes by popularity

1

102825 Views

Treehouse of Horror VII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
2

72947 Views

You Only Move Twice

The Simpsons relocate to another co...
3

67603 Views

The Homer They Fall

Homer becomes a professional boxer ...
4

58833 Views

Burns, Baby Burns

With Homer's help, Mr. Burns' long-...
5

58134 Views

Bart After Dark

While Marge is out of town, Homer a...
6

61391 Views

A Milhouse Divided

When Milhouse's parents get a divor...
7

60836 Views

Lisa's Date with Density

Lisa develops a crush on bully Nels...
8

25317 Views

Hurricane Neddy

Ned Flanders suffers a breakdown af...
9

23764 Views

El Viaje Misterioso de Nu

After ingesting several Guatemalan ...
10

25246 Views

The Springfield Files

X-Files Agents Mulder and Scully in...
11

23902 Views

The Twisted World of Marg

After being expelled from an invest...
12

23056 Views

Mountain of Madness

Homer and Mr. Burns are buried bene...
13

20899 Views

Simpsoncalifragilisticexp

The Simpsons hire a Mary Poppins-li...
14

22091 Views

The Itchy and Scratchy an

When ratings for Itchy & Scratchy c...
15

24329 Views

Homer's Phobia

Homer grows homophobic after he rea...
16

21201 Views

Brother from Another Seri

Bart fears the worst when Sideshow ...
17

21039 Views

My Sister, My Sitter

Homer and Marge allow Lisa to baby-...
18

27386 Views

Homer vs. the Eighteenth

Homer turns bootlegger when Springf...
19

22231 Views

Grade School Confidential

Bart exposes Skinner and Krabappel'...
20

27858 Views

The Canine Mutiny

Bart gives away Santa's Little Help...
21

27023 Views

The Old Man and the Lisa

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22

21652 Views

In Marge We Trust

Marge becomes a church volunteer. ...
23

26016 Views

Homer's Enemy

A resentful, hard-working employee ...
24

31044 Views

The Simpsons Spin-Off Sho

Troy McClure hosts three spin-offs ...
25

27539 Views

The Secret War of Lisa Si

Cadets give Lisa the "silent treatm...

season 8 924.2k views

Season 9

25 Episodes by popularity

1

36749 Views

The City of New York vs.

The Simpsons journey to New York Ci...
2

26424 Views

The Principal and the Pau

A stranger claims that Principal Sk...
3

25160 Views

Lisa's Sax

Homer and Marge recount how Lisa go...
4

49399 Views

Treehouse of Horror VIII

Homer battles killer mutants after ...
5

36153 Views

The Cartridge Family

Homer purchases a handgun to protec...
6

29946 Views

Bart Star

Homer becomes coach of the Springfi...
7

25684 Views

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemap

In an effort to annul an arranged m...
8

27467 Views

Lisa the Skeptic

Townspeople believe Lisa has uneart...
9

29129 Views

Realty Bites

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10

28918 Views

Miracle on Evergreen Terr

People throughout Springfield open ...
11

23070 Views

All Singing, All Dancing

The Simpsons recall their many musi...
12

28308 Views

Bart Carny

A carnival worker and his son move ...
13

34593 Views

The Joy of Sect

Marge tries her hand at deprogrammi...
14

32576 Views

Das Bus

Bart, Lisa and their classmates fig...
15

27462 Views

The Last Temptation of Kr

Krusty shuns his old routines in fa...
16

27427 Views

Dumbbell Indemnity

When Moe goes broke romancing his n...
17

29685 Views

Lisa the Simpson

Lisa fears she is genetically predi...
18

28540 Views

This Little Wiggy

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19

31839 Views

Simpson Tide

Homer becomes the captain of a Navy...
20

30085 Views

The Trouble with Trillion

When a tax audit lands him in hot w...
21

28993 Views

Girly Edition

Bart attempts to upstage Lisa when ...
22

35359 Views

Trash of the Titans

Homer enters the race for Sanitatio...
23

30741 Views

King of the Hill

After improving his physique, Homer...
24

27614 Views

Lost Our Lisa

Lisa gets lost in an unfamiliar par...
25

27050 Views

Natural Born Kissers

Homer and Marge discover the secret...

season 9 758.4k views

Season 10

23 Episodes by popularity

1

53927 Views

Lard of the Dance

Homer thinks he can net a fortune b...
2

18327 Views

The Wizard of Evergreen T

After realizing half his life is ov...
3

22780 Views

Bart the Mother

Bart tends to a nest filled with eg...
4

44885 Views

Treehouse of Horror IX

An evil toupee possesses Homer; Bar...
5

23240 Views

When You Dish Upon a Star

Homer befriends a group of Hollywoo...
6

24591 Views

D'oh-in' in the Wind

Homer embraces his newly discovered...
7

26728 Views

Lisa Gets an 'A'

Lisa suffers a guilty conscience af...
8

26061 Views

Homer Simpson in: 'Kidney

Homer offers to donate one of his k...
9

30000 Views

Mayored to the Mob

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10

30325 Views

Viva Ned Flanders

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11

30062 Views

Wild Barts Can't Be Broke

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12

26271 Views

Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

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13

30006 Views

Homer to the Max

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14

23864 Views

I'm with Cupid

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15

26683 Views

Marge Simpson in: 'Scream

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16

27584 Views

Make Room for Lisa

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17

25408 Views

Maximum Homerdrive

Homer and Bart attempt to deliver a...
18

46459 Views

Simpsons Bible Stories

While listening to one of Reverend ...
19

47529 Views

Mom and Pop Art

Homer pursues a career as an artist...
20

47017 Views

The Old Man and the 'C' S

Bart must perform community service...
21

45580 Views

Monty Can't Buy Me Love

Mr. Burns attempts to win adoration...
22

48719 Views

They Saved Lisa's Brain

Lisa is invited to join Mensa; Home...
23

66814 Views

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

The Simpsons board a mega-saver fli...

season 10 792.9k views

Season 11

22 Episodes by popularity

1

20251 Views

Beyond Blunderdome

Studio executives panic when actor ...
2

39627 Views

Brother's Little Helper

Bart is diagnosed with Attention De...
3

42693 Views

Guess Who's Coming to Cri

Homer becomes the Springfield Shopp...
4

70668 Views

Treehouse of Horror X

Homer's Y2K error plunges the Earth...
5

47904 Views

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)

The Simpsons relocate to a farm, wh...
6

41837 Views

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadde

Homer becomes an instant celebrity ...
7

37888 Views

Eight Misbehavin'

Apu is driven to the brink when his...
8

38774 Views

Take My Wife, Sleaze

Homer wins a vintage motorcycle dur...
9

49830 Views

Grift of the Magi

As the Christmas holiday approaches...
10

45829 Views

Little Big Mom

Lisa becomes mother-of-the-house wh...
11

41146 Views

Faith Off

Bart believes he has the power to h...
12

43242 Views

The Mansion Family

The Simpsons care for Burns' mansio...
13

39750 Views

Saddlesore Galactica

When Homer and Bart transform a los...
14

46171 Views

Alone Again Natura-Diddil

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15

55048 Views

Missionary Impossible

Homer is forced to become a mission...
16

56910 Views

Pygmoelian

Moe undergoes plastic surgery and b...
17

71782 Views

Bart to the Future

A Native American casino manager sh...
18

53232 Views

Days of Wine and D'Ohses

Barney swears off alcohol, creating...
19

56122 Views

Kill the Alligator and Ru

The Simpsons find themselves on the...
20

52574 Views

Last Tap Dance in Springf

After watching a movie about a sexy...
21

61127 Views

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad

When Otto ditches his fiancée at t...
22

102042 Views

Behind the Laughter

This 'behind-the-scenes' special ch...

season 11 1114.4k views

Season 12

21 Episodes by popularity

1

81448 Views

Treehouse of Horror XI

On Halloween... a deceased Homer mu...
2

41795 Views

A Tale of Two Springfield

The townspeople of Springfield divi...
3

43445 Views

Insane Clown Poppy

Krusty discovers that he fathered a...
4

39303 Views

Lisa the Treehugger

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5

44587 Views

Homer vs. Dignity

As the Thanksgiving holiday approac...
6

51730 Views

The Computer Wore Menace

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7

50097 Views

The Great Money Caper

Homer and Bart become scam artists ...
8

62116 Views

Skinner's Sense of Snow

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9

93397 Views

HOMR

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10

48441 Views

Pokey Mom

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11

52994 Views

Worst Episode Ever

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12

57806 Views

Tennis the Menace

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13

56400 Views

Day of the Jackanapes

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14

56857 Views

New Kids on the Blecch

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15

53643 Views

Hungry Hungry Homer

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16

48984 Views

Bye Bye Nerdy

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17

63447 Views

Simpson Safari

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18

54395 Views

Trilogy of Error

A day in the life of the Simpsons r...
19

52779 Views

I'm Goin' to Praise Land

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20

55010 Views

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21

55049 Views

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The Simpsons jump a train, and meet...

season 12 1163.7k views

Season 13

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39582 Views

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5

46643 Views

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6

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She of Little Faith

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7

48694 Views

Brawl in the Family

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8

52081 Views

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9

51044 Views

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10

44823 Views

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11

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12

46648 Views

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13

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14

51707 Views

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15

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Blame it on Lisa

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16

60975 Views

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17

51532 Views

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18

77531 Views

I am Furious Yellow

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19

51294 Views

The Sweetest Apu

When Manjula kicks Apu out of the h...
20

51228 Views

Little Girl in the Big Te

Lisa is overjoyed when she befriend...
21

54015 Views

Frying Game

Homer and Marge become murder suspe...
22

59486 Views

Papa's Got a Brand New Ba

When Wiggum and his men prove ineff...

season 13 1169.2k views

Season 14

22 Episodes by popularity

1

81729 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIII

On Halloween, Homer's evil hammock ...
2

36184 Views

How I Spent My Strummer V

When a hidden camera tapes Homer la...
3

41116 Views

Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Gra

Bart and Lisa are horrified when th...
4

52124 Views

Large Marge

Marge's life changes dramatically w...
5

45866 Views

Helter Shelter

When the Simpson house undergoes fu...
6

54046 Views

The Great Louse Detective

When someone attempts to murder Hom...
7

42662 Views

Special Edna

When Bart gets Mrs. Krabappel nomin...
8

47410 Views

The Dad Who Knew Too Litt

Homer hires a shady private investi...
9

50049 Views

The Strong Arms of The Ma

When Marge is mugged at the Kwik-E-...
10

47025 Views

Pray Anything

Inspired by Ned Flanders, Homer tur...
11

51154 Views

Barting Over

When Bart discovers the existence o...
12

44737 Views

I'm Spelling as Fast as I

When Lisa becomes a finalist in a s...
13

44160 Views

A Star is Born-Again

A Hollywood movie star takes a roma...
14

46277 Views

Mr. Spritz Goes To Washin

When Springfield Airport changes th...
15

47602 Views

C.E.D'oh

On Valentine's Day, Homer attends a...
16

46610 Views

'Scuse Me While I Miss Th

As a British filmmaker makes a docu...
17

71471 Views

Three Gays of the Condo

Homer moves in with a gay couple af...
18

61943 Views

Dude, Where's My Ranch?

While vacationing at a dude ranch, ...
19

47243 Views

Old Yeller-Belly

When Santa's Little Helper becomes ...
20

50590 Views

Brake My Wife, Please

When Homer loses his driver's licen...
21

51873 Views

The Bart of War

After police discover Bart and Milh...
22

48924 Views

Moe Baby Blues

When Moe saves baby Maggie's life, ...

season 14 1110.8k views

Season 15

22 Episodes by popularity

1

77612 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIV

On Halloween, Homer takes over for ...
2

34558 Views

My Mother the Carjacker

Mother Simpson is captured by polic...
3

40301 Views

The President Wore Pearls

When Lisa is elected student body p...
4

55384 Views

The Regina Monologues

The Simpsons travel to England, whe...
5

40320 Views

The Fat and the Furriest

Homer becomes the laughing stock of...
6

40728 Views

Today I am a Clown

When Krusty takes the Sabbath off s...
7

39405 Views

'Tis the Fifteenth Season

As Christmas approaches, Homer disc...
8

45481 Views

Marge vs. Singles, Senior

Marge opposes a political group mad...
9

42040 Views

I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot

Homer builds a fighting robot for B...
10

43964 Views

Diatribe of a Mad Housewi

Homer buys an ambulance and starts ...
11

43216 Views

Margical History Tour

Marge tells the children three hist...
12

48533 Views

Milhouse Doesn't Live Her

When Milhouse and his mother reloca...
13

46385 Views

Smart & Smarter

Lisa searches for a new identity wh...
14

43529 Views

The Ziff Who Came to Dinn

Homer becomes the majority sharehol...
15

45188 Views

Co-Dependent's Day

When a drunken Homer loses control ...
16

45430 Views

The Wandering Juvie

Bart's latest prank lands him in ju...
17

45114 Views

My Big Fat Geek Wedding

Mrs. Krabappel dumps Principal Skin...
18

47607 Views

Catch 'Em If You Can

Bart and Lisa pursue Homer and Marg...
19

48334 Views

Simple Simpson

Homer confronts evildoers in the fo...
20

45956 Views

The Way We Weren't

Homer reveals that Marge wasn't the...
21

48137 Views

Bart-Mangled Banner

The Simpsons are thrown in prison a...
22

48641 Views

Fraudcast News

Mr. Burns buys up all the media out...

season 15 1015.9k views

Season 16

21 Episodes by popularity

1

79478 Views

Treehouse of Horror XV

On Halloween... Flanders can predic...
2

40802 Views

All's Fair in Oven War

Marge enters a bakeoff competition,...
3

41237 Views

Sleeping with the Enemy

Lisa becomes self-conscious about h...
4

38372 Views

She Used to Be My Girl

Marge wonders if she made the right...
5

43588 Views

Fat Man and Little Boy

Homer builds a nuclear reactor for ...
6

42136 Views

Midnight Rx

Homer and Grampa smuggle drugs out ...
7

44247 Views

Mommie Beerest

Homer mortgages his house to save M...
8

42585 Views

Homer and Ned's Hail Mary

After teaching famous athletes some...
9

42213 Views

Pranksta Rap

After sneaking off to a rap concert...
10

44752 Views

There's Something About M

When tourists shun Springfield, the...
11

45308 Views

On a Clear Day I Can't Se

After Bart torments his sister duri...
12

59964 Views

Goo Goo Gai Pan

Homer pretends to be Selma's husban...
13

47268 Views

Mobile Homer

Bart and Lisa attempt to save Homer...
14

46796 Views

The Seven-Beer Snitch

Homer becomes a prison snitch after...
15

65952 Views

Future-Drama

Using Professor Frink's astrologica...
16

44605 Views

Don't Fear the Roofer

Homer ends up in a mental instituti...
17

53925 Views

The Heartbroke Kid

Bart has a heart attack after he be...
18

51122 Views

A Star is Torn

Homer behaves like a domineering st...
19

49565 Views

Thank God It's Doomsday

Homer is declared a prophet after h...
20

49182 Views

Home Away From Homer

Flanders feels like a fool after so...
21

49086 Views

The Father, The Son, and

After Bart gets expelled, he's enro...

season 16 1022.2k views

Season 17

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31635 Views

The Bonfire of the Manate

When Homer allows the mob to film a...
2

36826 Views

The Girl Who Slept Too Li

Lisa must confront her darkest fear...
3

36252 Views

MIlhouse of Sand and Fog

After Kirk and Luann rekindle their...
4

83809 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVI

On Halloween, Bart is replaced by a...
5

39547 Views

Marge's Son Poisoning

After spending time with her son, M...
6

40521 Views

See Homer Run

After winning popularity as the Saf...
7

38515 Views

The Last of the Red Hat M

A lonely Marge joins a women's grou...
8

61507 Views

The Italian Bob

The Simpsons travel to Italy to ret...
9

45438 Views

Simpsons Christmas Storie

The Simpsons appear in three Christ...
10

39227 Views

Homer's Paternity Coot

When an old letter is delivered to ...
11

42582 Views

We're on the Road to D'oh

After Bart gets into trouble at sch...
12

43539 Views

My Fair Laddy

Lisa vows to turn Groundskeeper Wil...
13

64956 Views

The Seemingly Never-Endin

When the Simpsons become trapped in...
14

44009 Views

Bart Has Two Mommies

Marge teaches Rod and Todd Flanders...
15

43163 Views

Homer Simpson, This is Yo

Marge swaps places with a British w...
16

43641 Views

Million Dollar Abie

After costing Springfield a profess...
17

58164 Views

Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore

Mr. Burns closes the nuclear power ...
18

44137 Views

The Wettest Stories Ever

The Simpsons appear in three storie...
19

48065 Views

Girls Just Want to Have S

After Skinner is fired for insinuat...
20

45874 Views

Regarding Margie

After Marge develops amnesia and ca...
21

48861 Views

The Monkey Suit

Lisa protests when Springfield pass...
22

44871 Views

Marge and Homer Turn a Co

Homer and Marge play marriage couns...

season 17 1025.1k views

Season 18

22 Episodes by popularity

1

36677 Views

The Mook, the Chef, the W

Lisa befriends the son of mobster F...
2

33761 Views

Jazzy and the Pussycats

Lisa grows jealous after Bart disco...
3

39327 Views

Please Homer, Don't Hamme

Marge starts her own carpentry busi...
4

81559 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
5

41569 Views

G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)

After Homer joins the Army, he's se...
6

36562 Views

Moe 'N' a Lisa

Lisa helps Moe get a poem published...
7

41389 Views

Ice Cream of Margie (With

Homer finds happiness after he buys...
8

40499 Views

The Haw-Hawed Couple

Bart becomes Nelson's best friend; ...
9

49113 Views

Kill Gil (Parts I & II)

During the Christmas holiday, Marge...
10

40966 Views

The Wife Aquatic

Marge returns to an island where sh...
11

66725 Views

Revenge is a Dish Best Se

The Simpsons spin three tales of re...
12

55274 Views

Little Big Girl

As Multicultural Day approaches, Li...
13

45322 Views

Springfield Up

In this spoof of the 'Up' documenta...
14

44256 Views

Yokel Chords

Lisa tutors Cletus's children - unt...
15

42207 Views

Rome-old and Juli-eh

Homer is horrified when his father ...
16

43725 Views

Homerazzi

Homer tries his hand at making mone...
17

48350 Views

Marge Gamer

After discovering the Internet, Mar...
18

53663 Views

The Boys of Bummer

Bart becomes the shame of Springfie...
19

46470 Views

Crook and Ladder

Homer and his friends join the volu...
20

44829 Views

Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot

When Santa's Little Helper gets a j...
21

45711 Views

24 Minutes

In this spoof of the television ser...
22

48233 Views

You Kent Always Say What

Kent Brockman accidentally utters a...

season 18 1026.2k views

Season 19

20 Episodes by popularity

1

34961 Views

He Loves To Fly And He D'

Marge hires a life coach to turn Ho...
2

33973 Views

Homer of Seville

Homer becomes an opera star, only t...
3

35485 Views

Midnight Towboy

Homer makes enemies when he starts ...
4

35006 Views

I Don't Wanna Know Why th

Marge fears for her safety after br...
5

81657 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVIII

In three tales of Halloween terror:...
6

39445 Views

Little Orphan Millie

When his parents are lost at sea an...
7

42939 Views

Husbands and Knives

After Marge launches a gym for 'reg...
8

48364 Views

Funeral for a Fiend

After another of his attempts to ki...
9

43340 Views

Eternal Moonshine of the

Homer wakes up from a blackout only...
10

44757 Views

E. Pluribus Wiggum

When Springfield becomes the first ...
11

43915 Views

That 90's Show

Marge and Homer recount how Marge a...
12

40770 Views

Love, Springfieldian Styl

When Homer and Marge become trapped...
13

42913 Views

The Debarted

Bart befriends a new kid at school,...
14

42740 Views

Dial 'N' for Nerder

Bart and Lisa think they killed Mar...
15

42970 Views

Smoke on the Daughter

Lisa becomes addicted to secondhand...
16

39755 Views

Papa Don't Leech

Marge and Homer aid country singer ...
17

41815 Views

Apocalypse Cow

Bart is overjoyed when the calf he'...
18

42857 Views

Any Given Sundance

Lisa's documentary about life with ...
19

40428 Views

Mona Leaves-a

When Homer's mother returns to Spri...
20

46640 Views

All About Lisa

Krusty hires Lisa to be his intern,...

season 19 864.7k views

Season 20

21 Episodes by popularity

1

39979 Views

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrap

Homer and Flanders team-up as bount...
2

35789 Views

Lost Verizon

When Bart steals actor Denis Leary'...
3

47912 Views

Double, Double, Boy in Tr

Bart swaps places with his exact do...
4

79869 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIX

On Halloween... Transformer-like ro...
5

46376 Views

Dangerous Curves

In a series of flashbacks... Homer ...
6

38053 Views

Homer and Lisa Exchange C

When Lisa discovers a talent for so...
7

38742 Views

Mypods and Boomsticks

Homer thinks Bart's new Muslim frie...
8

37836 Views

The Burns and the Bees

As Lisa tries to find a habitat for...
9

38077 Views

Lisa the Drama Queen

Lisa's new best friend creates a fa...
10

40232 Views

Take My Life, Please

When Homer discovers that he was al...
11

40776 Views

How the Test Was Won

Lisa freezes during a federal schoo...
12

41310 Views

No Loan Again, Naturally

When Homer and Marge's adjustable m...
13

42092 Views

Gone Maggie Gone

In this 'National Treasure'-like st...
14

54475 Views

In the Name of the Grandf

The Simpsons travel to Ireland, whe...
15

42349 Views

Wedding for Disaster

When their marriage license turns o...
16

41145 Views

Eeny Teeny Maya Moe

Moe meets a beautiful woman in an I...
17

45186 Views

The Good, The Sad, and Th

Bart dumps Milhouse in favor of a c...
18

43173 Views

Father Knows Worst

As a result of Homer's "helicopter ...
19

46399 Views

Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'o

Homer and Marge rent an apartment i...
20

45278 Views

Four Great Women and a Ma

As Marge and Lisa have their nails ...
21

49661 Views

Coming To Homerica

Springfield grapples with an immigr...

season 20 934.7k views

Season 21

23 Episodes by popularity

1

36661 Views

Homer the Whopper

Homer ends up with a superhero's ph...
2

36471 Views

Bart Gets A 'Z'

Principal Skinner fires Mrs. Krabap...
3

41837 Views

The Great Wife Hope

Marge vows to drive mixed martial a...
4

77035 Views

Treehouse of Horror XX

Classic movie monsters are attacked...
5

40020 Views

The Devil Wears Nada

Homer's life turns into nonstop mis...
6

39204 Views

Pranks and Greens

Skinner tells Bart about a former S...
7

37302 Views

Rednecks and Broomsticks

Lisa befriends a group of Wiccans w...
8

37895 Views

O Brother, Where Bart Tho

Bart attempts to get Homer and Marg...
9

35561 Views

Thursdays with Abie

Homer becomes jealous when a report...
10

41992 Views

Once Upon A Time in Sprin

Krusty ends up playing second fiddl...
11

39701 Views

Million Dollar Maybe

Homer wins a million-dollar lottery...
12

62581 Views

Boy Meets Curl

The Simpsons head to the Winter Oly...
13

48792 Views

The Color Yellow

Lisa discovers that her Southern an...
14

40893 Views

Postcards From the Wedge

Bart creates friction between Marge...
15

39953 Views

Stealing First Base

Bart stirs up trouble when he kisse...
16

55280 Views

The Greatest Story Ever D

Flanders attempts to redeem Homer d...
17

43737 Views

American History X-cellen

When Mr. Burns is sent to prison fo...
18

41089 Views

Chief of Hearts

After he's sentenced to perform com...
19

43149 Views

The Squirt and the Whale

Lisa comes to the aid of a whale th...
20

45049 Views

To Surveil With Love

After a bomb squad mistakenly blows...
21

41754 Views

Moe Letter Blues

As Mother's Day approaches, Homer, ...
22

45055 Views

The Bob Next Door

Bart is convinced that his new neig...
23

44082 Views

Judge Me Tender

Moe discovers a talent for judging ...

season 21 1015.1k views

Season 22

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31924 Views

Elementary School Musical

Lisa attends a performing arts camp...
2

33768 Views

Loan-A-Lisa

Lisa donates money to a microfinanc...
3

43302 Views

Money Bart

Lisa becomes the coach of Bart's Li...
4

73862 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXI

Bart and Milhouse use their videoga...
5

39044 Views

Lisa Simpson, This Isn't

Lisa decides she doesn't want to en...
6

37190 Views

The Fool Monty

When a dying Mr. Burns loses his me...
7

36761 Views

How Munched is that Birdi

The Simpsons decide to give away Sa...
8

46717 Views

The Fight Before Christma

Four Christmas tales... Bart takes ...
9

39144 Views

Donnie Fatso

Acting as an undercover informant, ...
10

40896 Views

Moms I'd Like To Forget

As Bart tries to determine the orig...
11

39133 Views

Flaming Moe

Smithers convinces Moe to turn his ...
12

41246 Views

Homer the Father

Homer uses plotlines from a 1980's ...
13

40532 Views

The Blue and the Gray

Unable to get a date for Valentine'...
14

41187 Views

Angry Dad: The Movie

When the 'Angry Dad' character is t...
15

42115 Views

The Scorpion's Tale

When Lisa discovers a wildflower th...
16

38612 Views

A Midsummer's Nice Dreams

When legendary comics Cheech and Ch...
17

40133 Views

Love is a Many Strangled

Homer enrolls in a fathering enrich...
18

43992 Views

The Great Simpsina

Lisa befriends an old magician who ...
19

41028 Views

The Housewives of Fat Ton

Fat Tony asks for Selma's hand in m...
20

45432 Views

Homer Scissorhands

Homer discovers a talent for cuttin...
21

49383 Views

500 Keys

A drawer full of old keys sparks se...
22

46037 Views

The Ned-liest Catch

Ned Flanders falls for Bart's teach...

season 22 931.4k views

Season 23

22 Episodes by popularity

1

33989 Views

The Falcon and the D'ohma

Homer attempts to help a former CIA...
2

34407 Views

Bart Stops to Smell the R

Superintendant Chalmers teaches Bar...
3

75045 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXII

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
4

35772 Views

Replaceable You

With some help from Martin Prince, ...
5

39962 Views

The Food Wife

As Homer and Marge vie for the kids...
6

39225 Views

The Book Job

After Lisa discovers that her favor...
7

39759 Views

The Man in the Blue Flann

Burns appoints Homer the nuclear po...
8

41631 Views

The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

After being fired from his popular ...
9

84381 Views

Holidays Of Future Passed

Thirty years in the future, Bart an...
10

41761 Views

Politically Inept, With H

Homer becomes a celebrity after he ...
11

43430 Views

The D'oh-cial Network

Lisa's idea for an online social ne...
12

38446 Views

Moe Goes From Rags To Ric

Moe's bar rag tells the story of hi...
13

39355 Views

The Daughter Also Rises

As Valentine's Day approaches, Marg...
14

43909 Views

At Long Last Leave

Fed up with the family's negative i...
15

43916 Views

Exit Through The Kwik-E-M

Bart becomes a famous street artist...
16

43937 Views

How I Wet Your Mother

With help from one of Professor Fri...
17

42061 Views

Them, Robot

Homer becomes the last human employ...
18

42718 Views

Beware My Cheating Bart

Bart falls for Jimbo's girlfriend S...
19

58008 Views

A Totally Fun Thing Bart

The Simpsons vacation on a cruise l...
20

45132 Views

The Spy Who Learned Me

After being injured at work, Homer ...
21

48486 Views

Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agend

Complications ensue when Flanders a...
22

46521 Views

Lisa Goes Gaga

Singer Lady Gaga attempts to cheer ...

season 23 1001.9k views

Season 24

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34073 Views

Moonshine River

Bart seeks out Cletus's daughter, w...
2

79810 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIII

In these three Halloween tales... a...
3

38258 Views

Adventures in Baby-gettin

Marge decides she wants to conceive...
4

33633 Views

Gone Abie Gone

Homer and Marge search for Grampa a...
5

35650 Views

Penny-Wiseguys

While serving jury duty, Fat Tony a...
6

41198 Views

A Tree Grows in Springfie

After his beloved new tablet "MyPad...
7

39052 Views

The Day the Earth Stood C

Homer is elated when a cool dad and...
8

46999 Views

To Cur, With Love

When Bart accuses Homer of not liki...
9

42836 Views

Homer Goes to Prep School

The Simpsons anticipate the apocaly...
10

41626 Views

A Test Before Trying

Bart must pass a district-wide test...
11

42255 Views

The Changing of the Guard

After narrowly surviving a tornado,...
12

46821 Views

Love is a Many-Splintered

Bart attempts to patch things up wi...
13

43452 Views

Hardly Kirk-ing

With Bart's help, Milhouse transfor...
14

40329 Views

Gorgeous Grampa

With encouragement from Mr. Burns, ...
15

43484 Views

Black-Eyed, Please

When Flanders gives Homer a black e...
16

46562 Views

Dark Knight Court

Bart stands trial in youth court af...
17

44350 Views

What Animated Women Want

In an episode that focuses on the c...
18

42225 Views

Pulpit Friction

Lovejoy quits the church after the ...
19

44514 Views

Whiskey Business

Moe's new suit catches the attentio...
20

44529 Views

The Fabulous Faker Boy

Bart takes piano lessons in hopes o...
21

46598 Views

The Saga of Carl

Homer, Moe and Lenny travel to Icel...
22

48286 Views

Dangers on a Train

Homer secretly reconstructs a kiddy...

season 24 966.5k views

Season 25

23 Episodes by popularity

1

221494 Views

Homerland

When Homer returns from a Nuclear W...
2

173878 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIV

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
3

120246 Views

Four Regrettings and a Fu

A Springfield funeral prompts Marge...
4

115512 Views

YOLO

After experiencing a midlife crisis...
5

105621 Views

Labor Pains

Homer gets trapped in an elevator w...
6

100675 Views

The Kid Is All Right

Lisa is elated to befriend Isabel, ...
7

100059 Views

Yellow Subterfuge

Bart seeks revenge after Skinner pr...
8

94866 Views

White Christmas Blues

As Christmas approaches, Marge tran...
9

96422 Views

Steal This Episode

Homer is put on trial after the FBI...
10

91661 Views

Married to the Blob

The Comic Book Guy marries a Japane...
11

93282 Views

Specs and the City

Homer uses augmented reality glasse...
12

87757 Views

Diggs

Bart befriends a fellow student and...
13

93219 Views

The Man Who Grew Too Much

Sideshow Bob genetically alters his...
14

90625 Views

The Winter of His Content

When the Simpsons allow members of ...
15

87178 Views

The War of Art

Homer convinces Marge to sell a pai...
16

87617 Views

You Don't Have to Live Li

After Lisa delivers a school report...
17

88514 Views

Luca$

Lisa falls for a competitive eater ...
18

110003 Views

Days of Future Future

Thirty years in the future, Bart tr...
19

92230 Views

What to Expect When Bart'

Bart uses voodoo in an attempt to g...
20

108328 Views

Brick Like Me

After Homer bonds with Lisa, Homer'...
21

95553 Views

Pay Pal

As Mother's Day approaches, after H...
22

89792 Views

Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Bart is overcome with guilt after a...
25

7762 Views

The Longest Daycare

A theatrical short that premiered J...

season 25 2352.3k views

Season 26

22 Episodes by popularity

1

53247 Views

Clown in the Dumps

The unthinkable happens: a Springfi...
2

39530 Views

The Wreck of the Relation

Homer and Bart set sail on the rela...
3

24614 Views

Super Franchise Me

Marge opens a sandwich shop....
4

39398 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXV

Don't miss the all-new, spooktacula...
5

18451 Views

Opposites-A-Frack

An all-new episode featuring guest ...
6

33061 Views

Simpsorama

The Simpsons travel to the 31st cen...
7

21999 Views

Blazed and Confused

Bart faces a tough test at school w...
8

18000 Views

Covercraft

Homer forms a cover band with some ...
9

17870 Views

I Won't Be Home For Chris

Marge doesn't approve of Homer's Ch...
10

18270 Views

The Man Who Came To Be Di

An amusement park ride lands the Si...
11

21832 Views

Bart's New Friend

Bart and Homer become BFF's....
12

18381 Views

The Musk Who Fell to Eart

Homer becomes muse to Elon Musk....
13

16328 Views

Walking Big and Tall

Springfield gets a new town anthem....
14

15527 Views

My Fare Lady

Marge trades in her mom-chauffeur h...
15

11571 Views

The Princess Guide

Moe plots revenge over Nigerian e-m...
16

18146 Views

Sky Police

The Springfield congregation turns ...
17

10518 Views

Waiting for Duffman

When Duffman undergoes hip replacem...
18

12374 Views

Peeping Mom

Bart lies about being involved in a...
19

13859 Views

The Kids Are All Fight

When Homer gets an old film roll de...
20

11804 Views

Let's Go Fly A Coot

The Simpsons learn about Grampa's d...
21

14180 Views

Bull-E

After Bart gets bullied at the scho...
22

30369 Views

Mathlete's Feat

When a modernized Springfield Eleme...

season 26 479.3k views

Season 27

10 Episodes by popularity

1

39879 Views

Every Man's Dream

SEASON PREMIERE. Homer and Marge ha...
2

32944 Views

Cue Detective

Scotty Boom, a Chew Network super-c...
3

29897 Views

Puffless

Upon learning that their father rea...
4

34757 Views

Halloween of Horror

Homer and Lisa hide out in the atti...
5

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Treehouse of Horror XXVI

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season 27 247.1k views

x

01:24

(Springfield Street: ext. springfield street - trash night)

01:24

(Simpson Car: int. simpson car - continuous)

01:24

Homer Simpson: Ah, trash night. In France, they call it "La Nuit Des Poubelles." In Germany, it's "Crappenfest."

01:30

Bart Simpson: (WISTFUL) I can't believe it only comes fifty-two times a year.

01:35

Homer Simpson: Quit gabbin' and start grabbin'. And remember, the best stuff is usually deep in the garbage juice.

01:41

Homer Simpson: See? A new pacifier for Maggie.

01:45

(Street: ext. street - continuous)

01:45

Cletus Spuckler: Looky here -- cardy-board tubes! (HOLDS UP CARDBOARD TUBES)

01:48

Brandine Del Roy: Now we can have indoor plumbing, just like they's got at the women's lock-up.

01:53

Cletus Spuckler: They spoilt you, Brandine. Sometimes I don't even know who you are anymore.

02:00

Bart Simpson: (CHUCKLES) Looks like Milhouse's mom finally threw out his "blanky."

02:03

Bart Simpson: He'll pay a lot to get this back.

02:05

Homer Simpson: Especially when we send it to him piece by piece.

02:13

(The Android's Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop: ext. android's dungeon comic book store - night)

02:13

Homer Simpson: Shh, quiet.

02:15

Comic Book Guy: It seems I will never sell these "She-Hulk vs. Leon Spinks" comics. Worst cross-over ever.

02:31

Comic Book Guy: Shoo, nerds, shoo!

02:36

(SPRINGFIELD BUSINESS DISTRICT: ext. springfield business district - a little later)

02:36

Homer Simpson: Well, this muscle shirt's a pretty good find.

02:39

Bart Simpson: Dad, that's a sports bra.

02:40

Homer Simpson: All I know is, I'm finally getting the support I need.

02:43

Bart Simpson: Look, Dad. Barber hair.

02:47

Bart Simpson: Ooo, Italian.

02:49

Homer Simpson: (CHUCKLES, THEN: ITALIAN ACCENT) Hey, Vinnie, how's about a pizza? I got-a no job. (CHUCKLES)

02:55

Homer Simpson: (GASPS, POINTING ACROSS STREET) Mama mia. Look what the Hawaiian restaurant threw out!

02:59

(POLYNESIAN RESTAURANT: ext. polynesian restaurant - night)

02:59

Homer Simpson: (TO TIKI GOD) Get outta my dreams and into my car.

03:05

(Simpson Home: ext. simpson house - establishing - late morning)

03:05

(KITCHEN: int. kitchen - continuous)

03:05

Marge Simpson: I don't remember the air in the kitchen being so wavy. (SNIFFING THE AIR) Good Lord - that's gas!

03:16

(Simpson Backyard: ext. simpson backyard - day)

03:16

TIKI: Behold, I am King Talkie-Tiki!

03:20

Homer Simpson: Hey Flanders? Can your God do that?

03:24

Ned Flanders: Actually, Homer, you and I worship the same God, so...

03:27

TIKI: Irregardless, I am your God now!

03:33

Marge Simpson: (WALKING UP) Homer, you can't just reroute the gas line. Do you know how dangerous that is?

03:38

TIKI: (BOOMING) Do not anger Talkie-Tiki! I am all-power--

03:42

Homer Simpson: (SHRIEKS, THEN: QUICKLY) I'll be at Moe's.

03:46

(Moe's Tavern: int. moe's - later)

03:46

Lenny Leonard: ...so I says to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence... of bein' a jerk."

03:46

Moe Szyslak: Hey, Barney. What's with the glum face? You glum or somethin'? Huh, Glummy?

04:00

Barney Gumble: (SINCERE) You know, it was my birthday last week, and no one remembered.

04:05

Carl Carlson: What are you, nuts?

04:06

Homer Simpson: I threw you a party at my house.

04:07

Barney Gumble: You lie. Why would I not remember my own (WHILE DRINKING) birthday?

04:14

Moe Szyslak: But we did have a shindig for ya, Barn. We even videotaped it. Look.

04:23

Moe Szyslak: (QUIETLY TO SELF) Oh, that's it, baby. All for Moe. Oh, yeah. Work the slot. Show me the package.

04:29

Moe Szyslak: (EMBARRASSED) Whoa, tha... (LAUGHS) that, that's a project I'm working on. Sorry.

04:33

Bart Simpson: Okay, Mom. We're rolling.

04:35

Marge Simpson: I wrote a poem for Barney on this special occasion. (READING POEM) "Now that you're one year older, the time flew by so fast..."

04:39

Marge Simpson: Bart!

Bart Simpson: (CHUCKLES)

04:45

Marge Simpson: Gimme that! (GRUNTS)

04:46

Barney Gumble: (TIPSY) I'm just saying that when we die, there's going to be a planet for the French, a planet for the Chinese, and we'll all be a lot happier...

04:56

Lisa Simpson: (VERY UNCOMFORTABLE) Mr. Gumbel, you're upsetting me.

04:57

Barney Gumble: No, I'm not!

04:59

Barney Gumble: Gee, is that what I look like when I'm drunk?

05:03

Homer Simpson: You wish. That's the stage we call "Professor Barney" -- talkative, coherent, even insightful. Here's drunk.

05:13

Barney Gumble: (HIGH VOICE) Well, I'm off to market... (BELCHES)

05:18

Homer Simpson: (UPSET) Marge, you're making a complete fool of yourse... (REALIZING) Oh, it's just Barney.

05:26

Barney Gumble: (GASPS) Precious alcohol! Soaking into shag.

Barney Gumble: (DRUNKEN WARNING GROWL)

05:35

(Moe's Tavern: Int. Moe's bar - continuous)

05:35

Barney Gumble: (SIGHS) How embarrassing. But how did this happen?

05:39

Lenny Leonard: Oh, that. You've had that for a while.

05:42

Carl Carlson: Yeah, I can't really picture you without it.

05:45

Barney Gumble: Oh, I'm a disgrace.

05:47

Homer Simpson: Disgracefully hilarious! (LAUGHS) You passed out before we could even give you your presents.

05:52

Carl Carlson: I still got mine. Barney, I got you what no drunk can do without: Morning-After Stationery.

06:00

Moe Szyslak: And I got ya helicopter flying lessons. (TO BARFLIES) Can you imagine this boozebag at the wheel of a whirlybird?

06:06

Moe Szyslak: (LAUGHS) He'd be all "Look at me! I'm a tanked-up loser in a helicopter!"

06:08

Moe Szyslak: (SWEETLY) Ah, anyway, Happy B-day, punkin.

06:17

Barney Gumble: So, I'm a tanked-up loser? Is that how you see me?

06:23

Moe Szyslak: Oh, sounds like a certain loser could use some tanking up.

06:29

Moe Szyslak: Hey, hey, where ya goin'?

06:31

Barney Gumble: I'll show you. I'm gonna take these helicopter lessons.

06:35

Homer Simpson: Wait a minute, Barney. You gotta be sober to fly. I mean, it's not like drivin' a car.

06:39

Barney Gumble: Then I'm gonna quit drinking.

Bar Patrons: (LAUGHS)

06:43

Barney Gumble: No, I mean it.

Bar Patrons: (MORE LAUGHTER)

06:46

Barney Gumble: You won't see me here again. Ever.

Bar Patrons: (UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER)

06:52

Moe Szyslak: Wait, that ain't funny. He's my best customer.

06:55

Moe Szyslak: Well, the handwriting's on the wall. To stay afloat, this bar's gonna have to go queer.

07:00

Larry: You mean it's not?

07:00

Larry: (TO BOOK) Wrong again, "Gay Guide to Springfield

07:10

(Barney's Apartment: Int. Barney's apartment - morning)

07:10

Barney Gumble: Farewell, my long-necked friends.

07:21

Barney Gumble: All right, world. Get ready to meet the clean and sober Barney Gumbel.

07:28

Barney Gumble: Weee!

07:29

(Moe's Tavern: Int. Moe's tavern - continuous)

07:29

Barney Gumble: Gimme a beer!

07:31

Moe Szyslak: (CALMLY) I knew you'd be back.

07:32

Moe Szyslak: (TO SELF) Santeria, you're the greatest!

07:35

Homer Simpson: Barney, didn't you say you were gonna stop drinking?

07:39

Barney Gumble: (BREAKS DOWN) I know, but it's so hard. Please help me, Homer.

07:43

Homer Simpson: You came to the right guy. I'll straighten ya out... right after I finish this beer.

07:55

Homer Simpson: Ah, man that's sweet. Okay, let's go.

07:59

(Office Building: Int. office building - day)

07:59

Barney Gumble: My name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic.

08:04

Wiseguy: I feel for you, pally. But, uh, you want A.A. -- this is triple A.

08:06

Homer Simpson: Oh. My name is Homer and I'm planning a trip to St. Louis.

08:11

Wiseguy: East St. Louis?

08:12

Homer Simpson: ("BUT OF COURSE" ATTITUDE) Is there any other St. Louis?

08:20

(CHURCH BASEMENT: Int. CHURCH BASement - hallway - night)

08:20

Kirk Van Houten: Ah, welcome back, Homer. I see you've finally hit rock bottom.

08:25

Homer Simpson: (DISMISSIVE NOISE) Not a chance. I can sink way lower. I just came to help my friend Barney.

08:30

Lindsay Naegle: We all know why we're here, don't we? To keep ourselves sober -- and to network. So, let's get started.

08:36

(A.A. Meeting: Int. A.A. meeting - later)

08:36

Gil Gunderson: Well, after I lost my third job in two days, ol' Gil was in a pit of despair.

08:41

Lindsay Naegle: And that's when you realized you were an alcoholic...

08:44

Gil Gunderson: Oh, no. I never touch the stuff. But you don't have to be drunk to know the value of Amway.

08:49

Gil Gunderson: Now this is used crankcase oil, which you ladies know is murder to clean up, ya know. And company's coming!

08:56

Gil Gunderson: Aw, you're doin' this at the worst possible time. (TRAILS OFF) Ahh, your finger's in my eye...

09:02

Barney Gumble: I have a problem with alcohol and I need help.

09:05

Lindsay Naegle: Well, your recovery begins today. And we promise you all the sugar cookies and second-hand smoke you can handle.

09:12

Homer Simpson: (RAISES HAND) The sugar cookies you speak of. Are they real or symbolic?

09:16

Lindsay Naegle: They're on that table over there.

09:18

Homer Simpson: (MOANS) I don't wanna walk that far. Anything that takes twelve steps isn't worth doing. Get it? Huh? Twelve? (LAUGHS) Steps.

09:31

(First Church of Springfield: ext. church - bushes - a moment later)

09:31

Homer Simpson: Hey? How did I get out here?

09:36

(Simpson Home: Int. Simpson House - Living Room - day)

09:36

Creature: (GIGGLES, THEN BABY TALK:) Hurt everyone.

09:38

Lisa Simpson: Did Gaga just say "hurt everyone"?

09:40

Bart Simpson: (CHUCKLES) Gaga. Cute name.

09:41

Announcer: The Springfield phone book needs a new cover!

09:44

Lisa Simpson: (EXCITED) It does?

09:46

Announcer: Send us your snapshots, and if we select yours, you win a fabulous mystery prize.

09:50

Announcer: (QUICKLY) To enter, send your film to this address. (WE SEE ADDRESS BRIEFLY) Too quick? Try again. (ADDRESS FLASHES AGAIN) Did you get it? Here it is! (ADDRESS FLASHES) Coming in from the left! (ADDRESS ZIPS ACROSS SCREEN) Don't delay - do it today!

09:59

Bart Simpson: You think we should enter?

10:01

Lisa Simpson: Well, it shouldn't be too hard to beat the old photo.

Bart Simpson: (REPULSED NOISE)

10:07

Lisa Simpson: Hmmm.

10:08

Bart Simpson: It's gotta be here somewhere.

10:12

Bart Simpson: (SEARCHING NOISES) Hey, here's a camera.

10:15

Lisa Simpson: (EXAMINES IT) And it's still got a roll of film in it.

10:18

Bart Simpson: Man, these old cameras are really built solid.

10:21

Lisa Simpson: Bart, we need that to win the contest.

10:23

Bart Simpson: Win the what now?

10:31

(HELICOPTER FLIGHT SCHOOL: Ext. helicopter flight school - establishing)

10:31

(Airfield: Ext. airfield - continuous)

10:31

Barney Gumble: Here goes.

10:32

Instructor: So, he's so busy worrying about the front rotor, he walks right into the back one! (LAUGHS, SHAKING HEAD) Only in this business.

10:40

Barney Gumble: I'd like to sign up for helicopter lessons.

10:43

Instructor: Sorry pal, but it takes a special kind of man to pilot these birds.

10:48

Barney Gumble: I've got a coupon.

10:49

Instructor: Okay, get in.

10:53

(Helicopter: int. helicopter - later - day)

10:53

Instructor: Elvis played a chopper pilot one time. He made so many darn mistakes, we were just laughin' at him.

11:01

Barney Gumble: Great singer, though.

11:02

Instructor: Oh, absolutely. You know who else I like is that, uh, Leo Sayer. Anyway, we're nice and level now. How'd you like to take the controls?

11:11

Barney Gumble: You think I'm ready?

11:13

Instructor: Sure I do. One sec... (INTO BLACK BOX) Testing black box, one, two... (TEST-SCREAMS TWICE, THEN, TO BARNEY) She's all yours, friend.

11:24

Barney Gumble: Whoa, whoa, ah, ah.

11:27

Barney Gumble: Hey, I think I'm gettin' it!

11:30

Instructor: Yes, that's great. Now, let's just pull ourselves out of this tailspin here.

11:37

Barney Gumble: (SHAKEN) Ooh, oh, I'm sorry 'bout that.

11:39

Instructor: (REASSURING) It's okay. That's what the diapers are for.

11:45

(Springfield Town Square: ext. springfield town square - continuous)

11:45

Lisa Simpson: Now, when the mama bird returns to feed her babies, we'll have a prize-winning picture.

11:50

Bart Simpson: Lisa, people these days don't want to see a baby bird. They want to see celebrities at their worst.

11:58

Lisa Simpson: (DISBELIEVING) Is that Rainier Wolfcastle?

12:00

Bart Simpson: Check out the gut!

12:01

WOLFCASTLE: (RE: BELLY) It's for a movie. I'm filling a fat secret agent.

12:09

(Moe's Tavern: int. moe's - a couple of weeks later)

12:09

Moe Szyslak: Hey, Homer. (AS HOMER SITS) Ah, no, no, no, don't sit there. Take this seat, right next to the tap.

12:14

Homer Simpson: (SUSPICIOUSLY) But that's Barney's seat. Are you tryin' to make me the new Barney?

12:18

Moe Szyslak: Hey, every bar needs a world-class drunk.

12:21

Lenny Leonard: Yeah, someone who makes our alcoholism seem less raging.

12:24

Homer Simpson: Well, forget it, guys. I am not Barney! (BARNEY-TYPE BELCH)

12:31

Moe Szyslak: See, Homer? It's not so bad. (THEN MEAN) Now dance, rummy!

12:34

Homer Simpson: (BEAT) Okay...

12:43

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - master bedroom - the next morning)

12:43

Marge Simpson: You danced for hours just because they told you to?

12:46

Homer Simpson: If I didn't, I'd lose their respect.

Marge Simpson: (SURPRISED NOISE)

12:50

Barney Gumble: (CALLING) Check it out, Homer! I'm flying this thing!

12:54

Marge Simpson: (PANICKY) Get it away from the house!

12:56

Barney Gumble: Wanna go for a ride?

12:57

Homer Simpson: Can I, Marge? Can I?

12:58

Marge Simpson: Yes, go! Just go!

13:02

(Helicopter: int. helicopter - a little later)

13:02

Homer Simpson: So you missed some big changes at Moe's. He hangs newspapers over the urinals now. You can read the sports page while you pee. Very la-di-da.

13:13

Barney Gumble: I've made some big changes, too. Can you believe I'm flying this helicopter?

13:16

Instructor: (LEANS FORWARD) Power lines! Power lines!

13:18

Barney Gumble: Whoops, sorry. (TO HOMER) When I think about all the time I wasted at Moe's...

13:24

Homer Simpson: Wasted? What about our staring contests? And the way we always knew what football coaches should've done? Remember the day we jumped that Census guy and stole his clicker?

13:34

Barney Gumble: Those are all priceless memories, Homer, but I don't want to do that stuff anymore.

13:39

Homer Simpson: Oh, so you're better than me, is that it?

13:42

Barney Gumble: I didn't say that.

13:44

Homer Simpson: (LIKE AN ANGRY DATE) Take me home.

13:45

Barney Gumble: Oh, don't be that way, Homer.

13:46

Homer Simpson: (HANDS ON HIPS) I'll scream.

13:46

Barney Gumble: Okay, okay!

13:53

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - living room - continuous)

13:53

Marge Simpson: So how was your ride with Barney?

13:55

Homer Simpson: I don't wanna talk about it!

14:11

Homer Simpson: Stupid Barney, thinks he's too good for me.

14:14

Marge Simpson: Cheer up, Homie. You don't need friends to be happy. I haven't had a friend in years.

14:19

Homer Simpson: But you've got me. Who have I got?

14:22

Marge Simpson: (GROANS) Well, you still have Lenny and Carl.

14:25

Homer Simpson: (MOANS) Lenny and Carl suck. (WORRIED) Please don't tell Lenny and Carl I said that, 'cause if I ever lost them as friends...

14:32

Marge Simpson: Well, if Barney's that important to you, you've gotta work it out. Old friends stick together, like O.J. and A.C., or the Falcon and the Snowman.

14:40

Homer Simpson: (LAMENTING) Oh, why can't I have a nickname?

14:47

(Simpson Backyard: ext. simpson backyard - day)

14:47

Lisa Simpson: (LOOKING THROUGH CAMERA) Okay, that's it... looks good... Oh, Bart, the bulldog didn't ante!

14:56

Lisa Simpson: Okay, on three. One... two...

14:59

Nelson Muntz: Perfect. Phone book cover, here I come. Haw haw!

15:02

Lisa Simpson: Hey! No fair! (MOANS) We'll never get a good picture.

15:07

Bart Simpson: Hey, why don't we dump spaghetti on Maggie's head?

15:09

Lisa Simpson: That picture's a cliché .

15:11

Bart Simpson: Picture?

15:16

(Kwik-E-Mart: Ext. Kwik-E-Mart - day - establishing)

15:16

Homer Simpson: Hey, Apu. You got any of those potato chips that give you diarrhea? I need to do a little "spring cleaning."

15:22

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: They are in the safety cabinet. I'll get the key.

15:27

Barney Gumble: (STIFFLY) Oh, hello Homer.

15:29

Homer Simpson: Barney.

15:31

Barney Gumble: (RE: HOMER'S SIX-PACKS) Beer, huh?

15:32

Homer Simpson: That's right.

15:33

Barney Gumble: Enjoy.

15:34

Homer Simpson: That I will.

15:35

Barney Gumble: Then we agree.

15:36

Homer Simpson: You keep thinkin' that.

15:37

Barney Gumble: I will.

15:37

Homer Simpson: Me too.

15:38

Barney Gumble: Good day, then.

15:38

Homer Simpson: Good day, then is right.

15:40

Barney Gumble: Ta.

15:40

Homer Simpson: (TRIUMPHANTLY) Ta-ta.

15:42

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: (CALLING AFTER HIM) Hey! You did not pay for that beer!

15:50

(Mt. Springfield: ext. mount springfield - early evening)

15:50

Lisa Simpson: Boy, you can see everything from Mount Springfield. The Squidport, the old monorail...

15:55

Bart Simpson: The Play-Doh Factory...

16:00

Factory Foreman: (ANNOUNCING) Crescent-moon! Crescent-moon!

16:05

Bart Simpson: C'mon, Springfield. Sparkle for me, baby. That's it...

16:09

Bart Simpson: Heads up.

16:10

Lisa Simpson: Ow! Bart, that's hot!

16:13

Bart Simpson: I said heads up.

16:13

(Moe's Tavern: Int. Moe's bar - day)

16:13

Homer Simpson: Lenny, Carl, I know a lot of people bad-mouth you, and focus on how you suck, but not me. To me, you're true blue.

16:30

Carl Carlson: Aw, thanks big guy.

16:32

Lenny Leonard: Now dance, rummy!

16:33

Homer Simpson: Okay.

16:37

Barney Gumble: Hiya, Moe.

16:38

Homer Simpson: Well, if it isn't Little Miss "I'm not wasting my life anymore." (CATTY) Which he is.

16:44

Barney Gumble: (CONSULTING A.A. BOOK) Moe, I've come here to make amends for my disgraceful behavior over the last twenty years.

16:49

Moe Szyslak: Aw, that's okay, Barn.

16:51

Barney Gumble: No, it's not okay. I broke barstools, befouled your broom closet, and made sweet love to your pool table... which I then befouled.

16:59

Moe Szyslak: Well, that would explain the drop-off in play.

17:02

Kent Brockman: This is a Channel Six news bulletin.

17:04

Kent Brockman: Fire has broken out on Mount Springfield, trapping two youngsters and their camera.

17:09

Homer Simpson: Oh, no! That's Bart and Lisa!

17:11

Kent Brockman: Unfortunately, fire trucks are unavailable to fight the blaze, as they are all being used to film the new Burt Reynolds movie, "Fireball and Mudflap." I caught up with Burt on the set.

17:21

Kent Brockman: So, Burt, tell us a little about "Fireball and Mudflap."

17:24

Burt Reynolds: Well, I play Jerry "Fireball" Mudflap, a feisty Supreme Court Justice who's searching for his birth mother while competing in a cross-country fire truck race. It's garbage.

17:37

(Moe's Tavern: ext. moe's - continuous)

17:37

Homer Simpson: Barney, you gotta fly us up there and save my kids!

17:39

Barney Gumble: I can't. I've never flown solo!

17:42

Homer Simpson: Barney...

17:42

Homer Simpson: The call is from heroism. Will you accept the charges?

17:55

(SKY OVER SPRINGFIELD: Ext. sky over Springfield - a short while later)

17:55

(Helicopter: Int. helicopter - continuous)

17:55

Homer Simpson: Where are you going? The fire's that way!

17:58

Barney Gumble: I know, I know! I haven't learned right turns yet.

18:01

Homer Simpson: (SCREAMS) Look out!

Barney Gumble: (SCARED NOISE)

18:11

Barney Gumble: I can't do this! My nerves are shot!

18:21

Barney Gumble: Beer. That's what I need.

18:23

Homer Simpson: Barney, no! Don't!

18:25

Barney Gumble: Yes! I need it!

18:28

Homer Simpson: No! You've gotta be sober for this. Gimme that!

18:32

Homer Simpson: Ugh, it's warm.

18:35

Barney Gumble: You can't drink 'em all.

18:36

Homer Simpson: Oh, yes I can!

18:39

Homer Simpson: Gimme that!

18:46

Homer Simpson: I won't let you give up now, when you've worked so hard to be (SUDDENLY DRUNK) the greatest pal in the world. I love you. Let's not lose touch after graduation. (SNORES)

19:01

Barney Gumble: (TOUCHED, TO HOMER) You brave man. You took six silver bullets for me.

19:06

Homer Simpson: Stay away from my wife!

19:10

Barney Gumble: (DRAMATICALLY) Looks like it's up to me.

19:24

(Mt. Springfield: Ext. Mt. Springfield - continuous)

19:24

Bart Simpson: We should be safe up here. I'm pretty sure fires can't climb trees.

19:27

Lisa Simpson: Ow!

19:28

Bart Simpson: Dad!

19:29

Homer Simpson: Hi, kids! (LAUGHS)

19:31

Barney Gumble: Hang on! I'll throw you a ladder!

19:40

Homer Simpson: Get off! Get off!

19:50

Lisa Simpson: Dad, help!

19:51

Homer Simpson: (MATTER-OF-FACT) All right, I'm comin'.

19:56

Barney Gumble: Let me know if you're gonna do that again, Homer.

20:13

Bart Simpson: You did it, Dad!

20:14

Homer Simpson: (STILL DRUNK) You can't prove I did it.

20:17

Lisa Simpson: No, you saved our lives.

20:20

Homer Simpson: I could do a lotta things if I had some money.

20:23

Lisa Simpson: (CONFUSED) What?

20:24

Bart Simpson: Now, there's a picture.

20:32

(Simpson Home: Int. Simpson house - later)

20:32

Marge Simpson: (EXCITED) Kids, the new phone books are here. And your picture's on the cover!

20:38

Lisa Simpson: All right! / Cool! / Lemme see!

Lisa Simpson: (HORRIFIED SCREAM)

20:42

Marge Simpson: Isn't it adorable? I guess some baby pictures were on that old roll of film.

20:47

Bart Simpson: (MOANS) We'll be the laughingstock of the whole town!

20:50

Lisa Simpson: Well, at least we won the bike.

20:52

Marge Simpson: Actually, I took the picture, so I gave my prize to the orphanage.

20:57

Lisa Simpson: What? / How could you?

20:59

Marge Simpson: Just kidding. I would never do that.

Lisa Simpson: (DELIGHTED GASPS)

21:07

(Springfield Park: Ext. Springfield park - day)

21:07

Barney Gumble: Well, I'm glad we're friends again.

21:10

Homer Simpson: Yeah. So what do you call this stuff?

21:13

Barney Gumble: A double tall mocha latte.

21:17

Homer Simpson: It's not bad.

21:18

Barney Gumble: Well, it ain't beer, but at least I got that monkey off my back.

21:29

(Moe's Tavern: Ext. Moe's - continuous)

21:29

Moe Szyslak: (LOWERING BINOCULARS, SINISTER) Nobody gets away from Moe. Nobody!

Moe Szyslak: (LAUGHS MANIACALLY, THEN COUGHS)

SEASON 11 EPISODE 18

Days of Wine and D'Ohses

This episode is available in 4:3 & 16:9

Barney swears off alcohol, creating a rift between he and Homer; seeking to win a contest, Bart and Lisa attempt to photograph a new cover for the Springfield phone book. ...

Producers
Mike Scully

DIRECTORS
Neil Affleck

WRITERS
Deb Lacusta
Dan Castellaneta

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CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

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Clip From S11/E18

Barney's Birthday
Clip From S11/E18

Barney's Birthday

Barney watches a video of him being drunk on his birthday and is ashamed.
Clip From S11/E18

Barney Quits
Clip From S11/E18

Barney Quits

Barney decides to quit drinking from the teasing he receives from his friends.
Clip From S11/E18

A.A. Meeting
Clip From S11/E18

A.A. Meeting

Homer accompanies Barney to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
Clip From S11/E18

Barney Flies
Clip From S11/E18

Barney Flies

Homer and Barney set out to save Homer's kids from a fire.
Clip From S11/E18

Fire Rescue
Clip From S11/E18

Fire Rescue

Homer and Barney rescue Bart and Lisa from a forest fire.

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