Dude, Where's My Ranch? | season 14 episode 18 | Simpsons World

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13 Episodes by popularity

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Radio Bart

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Homer Alone

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22

57239 Views

The Otto Show

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23

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3

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I Love Lisa

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Duffless

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17

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Last Exit to Springfield

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So It's Come to This: A S

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The Front

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Whacking Day

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Cape Feare

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6

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Sweet Seymour Skinner's B

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The Boy Who Knew Too Much

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21

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Lady Bouvier's Lover

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22

74663 Views

Secrets of a Successful M

Marge kicks Homer out of the house ...

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25 Episodes by popularity

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61798 Views

Bart of Darkness

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2

53720 Views

Lisa's Rival

Lisa becomes jealous when she meets...
3

41535 Views

Another Simpsons Clip Sho

When Marge suspects that romance ha...
4

84367 Views

Itchy and Scratchy Land

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5

67534 Views

Sideshow Bob Roberts

Sideshow Bob runs for political off...
6

121626 Views

Treehouse of Horror V

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7

67860 Views

Bart's Girlfriend

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8

63389 Views

Lisa on Ice

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9

69183 Views

Homer Badman

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10

64623 Views

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequ

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11

61519 Views

Fear of Flying

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12

73205 Views

Homer the Great

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13

65716 Views

And Maggie Makes Three

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14

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Bart's Comet

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15

75219 Views

Homie the Clown

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16

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Bart vs. Australia

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17

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Homer vs. Patty and Selma

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18

78662 Views

A Star Is Burns

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19

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Lisa's Wedding

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Two Dozen and One Greyhou

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21

75010 Views

The PTA Disbands

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22

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'Round Springfield

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23

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The Springfield Connectio

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24

77823 Views

Lemon of Troy

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25

91606 Views

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Just about everyone in Springfield ...

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

65248 Views

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part

Lisa aids police with the investiga...
2

62540 Views

Radioactive Man

Hollywood producers cast Milhouse i...
3

62379 Views

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum

The Flanders gain custody of the Si...
4

67083 Views

Bart Sells His Soul

Bart sells his soul to Milhouse for...
5

71384 Views

Lisa the Vegetarian

Lisa turns vegetarian after her fam...
6

119430 Views

Treehouse of Horror VI

The Simpsons appear in three horrif...
7

82626 Views

King-Size Homer

Homer intentionally gains weight so...
8

60474 Views

Mother Simpson

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9

67270 Views

Sideshow Bob's Last Gleam

Sideshow Bob threatens to detonate ...
10

59432 Views

The Simpsons 138th Episod

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11

72521 Views

Marge Be Not Proud

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12

83796 Views

Team Homer

Homer reluctantly accepts Mr. Burns...
13

66570 Views

Two Bad Neighbors

Former President George Bush and hi...
14

60711 Views

Scenes from the Class Str

The Simpsons apply for membership a...
15

64652 Views

Bart the Fink

Krusty is arrested for massive tax ...
16

65760 Views

Lisa the Iconoclast

Lisa discovers that Jebediah Spring...
17

77955 Views

Homer the Smithers

Homer acts as Mr. Burns' assistant ...
18

61692 Views

The Day the Violence Died

Bart and Lisa come to the aid of a ...
19

71583 Views

A Fish Called Selma

Troy McClure stages a Hollywood com...
20

76631 Views

Bart on the Road

Using a fake driver's license, Bart...
21

73994 Views

22 Short Films About Spri

The lives of Springfield residents ...
22

75319 Views

Raging Abe Simpson and Hi

Grampa and Mr. Burns, the last surv...
23

70640 Views

Much Apu About Nothing

Apu faces deportation when a refere...
24

70806 Views

Homerpalooza

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25

73248 Views

Summer of 4 Ft. 2

While on summer vacation with her f...

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

102919 Views

Treehouse of Horror VII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
2

72934 Views

You Only Move Twice

The Simpsons relocate to another co...
3

67630 Views

The Homer They Fall

Homer becomes a professional boxer ...
4

58816 Views

Burns, Baby Burns

With Homer's help, Mr. Burns' long-...
5

58158 Views

Bart After Dark

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6

61432 Views

A Milhouse Divided

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7

60867 Views

Lisa's Date with Density

Lisa develops a crush on bully Nels...
8

25140 Views

Hurricane Neddy

Ned Flanders suffers a breakdown af...
9

23582 Views

El Viaje Misterioso de Nu

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10

25066 Views

The Springfield Files

X-Files Agents Mulder and Scully in...
11

23736 Views

The Twisted World of Marg

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12

22881 Views

Mountain of Madness

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13

20739 Views

Simpsoncalifragilisticexp

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14

21917 Views

The Itchy and Scratchy an

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15

24141 Views

Homer's Phobia

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16

21048 Views

Brother from Another Seri

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17

20888 Views

My Sister, My Sitter

Homer and Marge allow Lisa to baby-...
18

27187 Views

Homer vs. the Eighteenth

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19

22092 Views

Grade School Confidential

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20

27748 Views

The Canine Mutiny

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21

26902 Views

The Old Man and the Lisa

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22

21509 Views

In Marge We Trust

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23

25858 Views

Homer's Enemy

A resentful, hard-working employee ...
24

30929 Views

The Simpsons Spin-Off Sho

Troy McClure hosts three spin-offs ...
25

27420 Views

The Secret War of Lisa Si

Cadets give Lisa the "silent treatm...

season 8 921.5k views

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25 Episodes by popularity

1

36677 Views

The City of New York vs.

The Simpsons journey to New York Ci...
2

26365 Views

The Principal and the Pau

A stranger claims that Principal Sk...
3

25091 Views

Lisa's Sax

Homer and Marge recount how Lisa go...
4

49303 Views

Treehouse of Horror VIII

Homer battles killer mutants after ...
5

36070 Views

The Cartridge Family

Homer purchases a handgun to protec...
6

29856 Views

Bart Star

Homer becomes coach of the Springfi...
7

25605 Views

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemap

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8

27336 Views

Lisa the Skeptic

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9

29016 Views

Realty Bites

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10

28813 Views

Miracle on Evergreen Terr

People throughout Springfield open ...
11

22970 Views

All Singing, All Dancing

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12

28148 Views

Bart Carny

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13

34443 Views

The Joy of Sect

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14

32427 Views

Das Bus

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15

27345 Views

The Last Temptation of Kr

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16

27301 Views

Dumbbell Indemnity

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17

29557 Views

Lisa the Simpson

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18

28419 Views

This Little Wiggy

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19

31714 Views

Simpson Tide

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20

29961 Views

The Trouble with Trillion

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21

28863 Views

Girly Edition

Bart attempts to upstage Lisa when ...
22

35180 Views

Trash of the Titans

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23

30595 Views

King of the Hill

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24

27496 Views

Lost Our Lisa

Lisa gets lost in an unfamiliar par...
25

26930 Views

Natural Born Kissers

Homer and Marge discover the secret...

season 9 755.5k views

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23 Episodes by popularity

1

53927 Views

Lard of the Dance

Homer thinks he can net a fortune b...
2

18148 Views

The Wizard of Evergreen T

After realizing half his life is ov...
3

22678 Views

Bart the Mother

Bart tends to a nest filled with eg...
4

44736 Views

Treehouse of Horror IX

An evil toupee possesses Homer; Bar...
5

23113 Views

When You Dish Upon a Star

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6

24475 Views

D'oh-in' in the Wind

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7

26623 Views

Lisa Gets an 'A'

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8

25920 Views

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9

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Mayored to the Mob

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10

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Viva Ned Flanders

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11

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Wild Barts Can't Be Broke

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12

26146 Views

Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

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13

29834 Views

Homer to the Max

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14

23713 Views

I'm with Cupid

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15

26537 Views

Marge Simpson in: 'Scream

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16

27448 Views

Make Room for Lisa

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17

25266 Views

Maximum Homerdrive

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18

46419 Views

Simpsons Bible Stories

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19

47501 Views

Mom and Pop Art

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20

46997 Views

The Old Man and the 'C' S

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21

45554 Views

Monty Can't Buy Me Love

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22

48693 Views

They Saved Lisa's Brain

Lisa is invited to join Mensa; Home...
23

66829 Views

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

The Simpsons board a mega-saver fli...

season 10 790.6k views

Season 11

22 Episodes by popularity

1

20220 Views

Beyond Blunderdome

Studio executives panic when actor ...
2

39617 Views

Brother's Little Helper

Bart is diagnosed with Attention De...
3

42734 Views

Guess Who's Coming to Cri

Homer becomes the Springfield Shopp...
4

70734 Views

Treehouse of Horror X

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5

47891 Views

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)

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6

41813 Views

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadde

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7

37869 Views

Eight Misbehavin'

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8

38742 Views

Take My Wife, Sleaze

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9

49864 Views

Grift of the Magi

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10

45833 Views

Little Big Mom

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11

41139 Views

Faith Off

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12

43268 Views

The Mansion Family

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13

39750 Views

Saddlesore Galactica

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14

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15

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16

56884 Views

Pygmoelian

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17

71785 Views

Bart to the Future

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18

53190 Views

Days of Wine and D'Ohses

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19

56065 Views

Kill the Alligator and Ru

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20

52536 Views

Last Tap Dance in Springf

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21

61102 Views

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad

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22

102101 Views

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This 'behind-the-scenes' special ch...

season 11 1114.3k views

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1

81467 Views

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On Halloween... a deceased Homer mu...
2

41741 Views

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3

43413 Views

Insane Clown Poppy

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4

39278 Views

Lisa the Treehugger

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5

44550 Views

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6

51723 Views

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7

50109 Views

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8

62195 Views

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9

93486 Views

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10

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11

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12

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13

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15

53663 Views

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16

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17

63523 Views

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18

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19

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55043 Views

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season 12 1163.9k views

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8

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9

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77534 Views

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51296 Views

Little Girl in the Big Te

Lisa is overjoyed when she befriend...
21

54048 Views

Frying Game

Homer and Marge become murder suspe...
22

59553 Views

Papa's Got a Brand New Ba

When Wiggum and his men prove ineff...

season 13 1170.1k views

Season 14

22 Episodes by popularity

1

81815 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIII

On Halloween, Homer's evil hammock ...
2

36210 Views

How I Spent My Strummer V

When a hidden camera tapes Homer la...
3

41127 Views

Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Gra

Bart and Lisa are horrified when th...
4

52113 Views

Large Marge

Marge's life changes dramatically w...
5

45897 Views

Helter Shelter

When the Simpson house undergoes fu...
6

54097 Views

The Great Louse Detective

When someone attempts to murder Hom...
7

42687 Views

Special Edna

When Bart gets Mrs. Krabappel nomin...
8

47436 Views

The Dad Who Knew Too Litt

Homer hires a shady private investi...
9

50054 Views

The Strong Arms of The Ma

When Marge is mugged at the Kwik-E-...
10

47018 Views

Pray Anything

Inspired by Ned Flanders, Homer tur...
11

51229 Views

Barting Over

When Bart discovers the existence o...
12

44750 Views

I'm Spelling as Fast as I

When Lisa becomes a finalist in a s...
13

44162 Views

A Star is Born-Again

A Hollywood movie star takes a roma...
14

46300 Views

Mr. Spritz Goes To Washin

When Springfield Airport changes th...
15

47604 Views

C.E.D'oh

On Valentine's Day, Homer attends a...
16

46635 Views

'Scuse Me While I Miss Th

As a British filmmaker makes a docu...
17

71588 Views

Three Gays of the Condo

Homer moves in with a gay couple af...
18

62029 Views

Dude, Where's My Ranch?

While vacationing at a dude ranch, ...
19

47262 Views

Old Yeller-Belly

When Santa's Little Helper becomes ...
20

50596 Views

Brake My Wife, Please

When Homer loses his driver's licen...
21

51863 Views

The Bart of War

After police discover Bart and Milh...
22

48958 Views

Moe Baby Blues

When Moe saves baby Maggie's life, ...

season 14 1111.4k views

Season 15

22 Episodes by popularity

1

77651 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIV

On Halloween, Homer takes over for ...
2

34553 Views

My Mother the Carjacker

Mother Simpson is captured by polic...
3

40308 Views

The President Wore Pearls

When Lisa is elected student body p...
4

55454 Views

The Regina Monologues

The Simpsons travel to England, whe...
5

40291 Views

The Fat and the Furriest

Homer becomes the laughing stock of...
6

40717 Views

Today I am a Clown

When Krusty takes the Sabbath off s...
7

39371 Views

'Tis the Fifteenth Season

As Christmas approaches, Homer disc...
8

45497 Views

Marge vs. Singles, Senior

Marge opposes a political group mad...
9

42025 Views

I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot

Homer builds a fighting robot for B...
10

43966 Views

Diatribe of a Mad Housewi

Homer buys an ambulance and starts ...
11

43202 Views

Margical History Tour

Marge tells the children three hist...
12

48511 Views

Milhouse Doesn't Live Her

When Milhouse and his mother reloca...
13

46395 Views

Smart & Smarter

Lisa searches for a new identity wh...
14

43537 Views

The Ziff Who Came to Dinn

Homer becomes the majority sharehol...
15

45200 Views

Co-Dependent's Day

When a drunken Homer loses control ...
16

45445 Views

The Wandering Juvie

Bart's latest prank lands him in ju...
17

45106 Views

My Big Fat Geek Wedding

Mrs. Krabappel dumps Principal Skin...
18

47584 Views

Catch 'Em If You Can

Bart and Lisa pursue Homer and Marg...
19

48322 Views

Simple Simpson

Homer confronts evildoers in the fo...
20

45940 Views

The Way We Weren't

Homer reveals that Marge wasn't the...
21

48121 Views

Bart-Mangled Banner

The Simpsons are thrown in prison a...
22

48644 Views

Fraudcast News

Mr. Burns buys up all the media out...

season 15 1015.8k views

Season 16

21 Episodes by popularity

1

79496 Views

Treehouse of Horror XV

On Halloween... Flanders can predic...
2

40795 Views

All's Fair in Oven War

Marge enters a bakeoff competition,...
3

41228 Views

Sleeping with the Enemy

Lisa becomes self-conscious about h...
4

38366 Views

She Used to Be My Girl

Marge wonders if she made the right...
5

43586 Views

Fat Man and Little Boy

Homer builds a nuclear reactor for ...
6

42130 Views

Midnight Rx

Homer and Grampa smuggle drugs out ...
7

44249 Views

Mommie Beerest

Homer mortgages his house to save M...
8

42562 Views

Homer and Ned's Hail Mary

After teaching famous athletes some...
9

42212 Views

Pranksta Rap

After sneaking off to a rap concert...
10

44758 Views

There's Something About M

When tourists shun Springfield, the...
11

45323 Views

On a Clear Day I Can't Se

After Bart torments his sister duri...
12

60057 Views

Goo Goo Gai Pan

Homer pretends to be Selma's husban...
13

47294 Views

Mobile Homer

Bart and Lisa attempt to save Homer...
14

46765 Views

The Seven-Beer Snitch

Homer becomes a prison snitch after...
15

66006 Views

Future-Drama

Using Professor Frink's astrologica...
16

44601 Views

Don't Fear the Roofer

Homer ends up in a mental instituti...
17

53928 Views

The Heartbroke Kid

Bart has a heart attack after he be...
18

51145 Views

A Star is Torn

Homer behaves like a domineering st...
19

49577 Views

Thank God It's Doomsday

Homer is declared a prophet after h...
20

49178 Views

Home Away From Homer

Flanders feels like a fool after so...
21

49093 Views

The Father, The Son, and

After Bart gets expelled, he's enro...

season 16 1022.3k views

Season 17

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31665 Views

The Bonfire of the Manate

When Homer allows the mob to film a...
2

36882 Views

The Girl Who Slept Too Li

Lisa must confront her darkest fear...
3

36285 Views

MIlhouse of Sand and Fog

After Kirk and Luann rekindle their...
4

83841 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVI

On Halloween, Bart is replaced by a...
5

39565 Views

Marge's Son Poisoning

After spending time with her son, M...
6

40524 Views

See Homer Run

After winning popularity as the Saf...
7

38503 Views

The Last of the Red Hat M

A lonely Marge joins a women's grou...
8

61582 Views

The Italian Bob

The Simpsons travel to Italy to ret...
9

45482 Views

Simpsons Christmas Storie

The Simpsons appear in three Christ...
10

39214 Views

Homer's Paternity Coot

When an old letter is delivered to ...
11

42589 Views

We're on the Road to D'oh

After Bart gets into trouble at sch...
12

43566 Views

My Fair Laddy

Lisa vows to turn Groundskeeper Wil...
13

65036 Views

The Seemingly Never-Endin

When the Simpsons become trapped in...
14

44021 Views

Bart Has Two Mommies

Marge teaches Rod and Todd Flanders...
15

43169 Views

Homer Simpson, This is Yo

Marge swaps places with a British w...
16

43658 Views

Million Dollar Abie

After costing Springfield a profess...
17

58254 Views

Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore

Mr. Burns closes the nuclear power ...
18

44156 Views

The Wettest Stories Ever

The Simpsons appear in three storie...
19

48078 Views

Girls Just Want to Have S

After Skinner is fired for insinuat...
20

45894 Views

Regarding Margie

After Marge develops amnesia and ca...
21

48907 Views

The Monkey Suit

Lisa protests when Springfield pass...
22

44848 Views

Marge and Homer Turn a Co

Homer and Marge play marriage couns...

season 17 1025.7k views

Season 18

22 Episodes by popularity

1

36693 Views

The Mook, the Chef, the W

Lisa befriends the son of mobster F...
2

33783 Views

Jazzy and the Pussycats

Lisa grows jealous after Bart disco...
3

39351 Views

Please Homer, Don't Hamme

Marge starts her own carpentry busi...
4

81604 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVII

The Simpsons appear in three tales ...
5

41552 Views

G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)

After Homer joins the Army, he's se...
6

36597 Views

Moe 'N' a Lisa

Lisa helps Moe get a poem published...
7

41385 Views

Ice Cream of Margie (With

Homer finds happiness after he buys...
8

40546 Views

The Haw-Hawed Couple

Bart becomes Nelson's best friend; ...
9

49224 Views

Kill Gil (Parts I & II)

During the Christmas holiday, Marge...
10

40990 Views

The Wife Aquatic

Marge returns to an island where sh...
11

66683 Views

Revenge is a Dish Best Se

The Simpsons spin three tales of re...
12

55281 Views

Little Big Girl

As Multicultural Day approaches, Li...
13

45328 Views

Springfield Up

In this spoof of the 'Up' documenta...
14

44279 Views

Yokel Chords

Lisa tutors Cletus's children - unt...
15

42193 Views

Rome-old and Juli-eh

Homer is horrified when his father ...
16

43744 Views

Homerazzi

Homer tries his hand at making mone...
17

48380 Views

Marge Gamer

After discovering the Internet, Mar...
18

53731 Views

The Boys of Bummer

Bart becomes the shame of Springfie...
19

46474 Views

Crook and Ladder

Homer and his friends join the volu...
20

44844 Views

Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot

When Santa's Little Helper gets a j...
21

45714 Views

24 Minutes

In this spoof of the television ser...
22

48249 Views

You Kent Always Say What

Kent Brockman accidentally utters a...

season 18 1026.6k views

Season 19

20 Episodes by popularity

1

34939 Views

He Loves To Fly And He D'

Marge hires a life coach to turn Ho...
2

33976 Views

Homer of Seville

Homer becomes an opera star, only t...
3

35469 Views

Midnight Towboy

Homer makes enemies when he starts ...
4

35003 Views

I Don't Wanna Know Why th

Marge fears for her safety after br...
5

81740 Views

Treehouse of Horror XVIII

In three tales of Halloween terror:...
6

39449 Views

Little Orphan Millie

When his parents are lost at sea an...
7

42937 Views

Husbands and Knives

After Marge launches a gym for 'reg...
8

48383 Views

Funeral for a Fiend

After another of his attempts to ki...
9

43362 Views

Eternal Moonshine of the

Homer wakes up from a blackout only...
10

44791 Views

E. Pluribus Wiggum

When Springfield becomes the first ...
11

43955 Views

That 90's Show

Marge and Homer recount how Marge a...
12

40804 Views

Love, Springfieldian Styl

When Homer and Marge become trapped...
13

42928 Views

The Debarted

Bart befriends a new kid at school,...
14

42778 Views

Dial 'N' for Nerder

Bart and Lisa think they killed Mar...
15

42984 Views

Smoke on the Daughter

Lisa becomes addicted to secondhand...
16

39761 Views

Papa Don't Leech

Marge and Homer aid country singer ...
17

41822 Views

Apocalypse Cow

Bart is overjoyed when the calf he'...
18

42892 Views

Any Given Sundance

Lisa's documentary about life with ...
19

40485 Views

Mona Leaves-a

When Homer's mother returns to Spri...
20

46646 Views

All About Lisa

Krusty hires Lisa to be his intern,...

season 19 865.1k views

Season 20

21 Episodes by popularity

1

39973 Views

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrap

Homer and Flanders team-up as bount...
2

35803 Views

Lost Verizon

When Bart steals actor Denis Leary'...
3

47930 Views

Double, Double, Boy in Tr

Bart swaps places with his exact do...
4

79948 Views

Treehouse of Horror XIX

On Halloween... Transformer-like ro...
5

46439 Views

Dangerous Curves

In a series of flashbacks... Homer ...
6

38076 Views

Homer and Lisa Exchange C

When Lisa discovers a talent for so...
7

38752 Views

Mypods and Boomsticks

Homer thinks Bart's new Muslim frie...
8

37883 Views

The Burns and the Bees

As Lisa tries to find a habitat for...
9

38072 Views

Lisa the Drama Queen

Lisa's new best friend creates a fa...
10

40237 Views

Take My Life, Please

When Homer discovers that he was al...
11

40774 Views

How the Test Was Won

Lisa freezes during a federal schoo...
12

41295 Views

No Loan Again, Naturally

When Homer and Marge's adjustable m...
13

42104 Views

Gone Maggie Gone

In this 'National Treasure'-like st...
14

54544 Views

In the Name of the Grandf

The Simpsons travel to Ireland, whe...
15

42364 Views

Wedding for Disaster

When their marriage license turns o...
16

41164 Views

Eeny Teeny Maya Moe

Moe meets a beautiful woman in an I...
17

45212 Views

The Good, The Sad, and Th

Bart dumps Milhouse in favor of a c...
18

43186 Views

Father Knows Worst

As a result of Homer's "helicopter ...
19

46413 Views

Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'o

Homer and Marge rent an apartment i...
20

45311 Views

Four Great Women and a Ma

As Marge and Lisa have their nails ...
21

49674 Views

Coming To Homerica

Springfield grapples with an immigr...

season 20 935.2k views

Season 21

23 Episodes by popularity

1

36664 Views

Homer the Whopper

Homer ends up with a superhero's ph...
2

36475 Views

Bart Gets A 'Z'

Principal Skinner fires Mrs. Krabap...
3

41891 Views

The Great Wife Hope

Marge vows to drive mixed martial a...
4

77112 Views

Treehouse of Horror XX

Classic movie monsters are attacked...
5

40027 Views

The Devil Wears Nada

Homer's life turns into nonstop mis...
6

39199 Views

Pranks and Greens

Skinner tells Bart about a former S...
7

37296 Views

Rednecks and Broomsticks

Lisa befriends a group of Wiccans w...
8

37898 Views

O Brother, Where Bart Tho

Bart attempts to get Homer and Marg...
9

35574 Views

Thursdays with Abie

Homer becomes jealous when a report...
10

42028 Views

Once Upon A Time in Sprin

Krusty ends up playing second fiddl...
11

39733 Views

Million Dollar Maybe

Homer wins a million-dollar lottery...
12

62732 Views

Boy Meets Curl

The Simpsons head to the Winter Oly...
13

48817 Views

The Color Yellow

Lisa discovers that her Southern an...
14

40915 Views

Postcards From the Wedge

Bart creates friction between Marge...
15

39985 Views

Stealing First Base

Bart stirs up trouble when he kisse...
16

55335 Views

The Greatest Story Ever D

Flanders attempts to redeem Homer d...
17

43741 Views

American History X-cellen

When Mr. Burns is sent to prison fo...
18

41092 Views

Chief of Hearts

After he's sentenced to perform com...
19

43166 Views

The Squirt and the Whale

Lisa comes to the aid of a whale th...
20

45043 Views

To Surveil With Love

After a bomb squad mistakenly blows...
21

41746 Views

Moe Letter Blues

As Mother's Day approaches, Homer, ...
22

45050 Views

The Bob Next Door

Bart is convinced that his new neig...
23

44107 Views

Judge Me Tender

Moe discovers a talent for judging ...

season 21 1015.6k views

Season 22

22 Episodes by popularity

1

31962 Views

Elementary School Musical

Lisa attends a performing arts camp...
2

33739 Views

Loan-A-Lisa

Lisa donates money to a microfinanc...
3

43336 Views

Money Bart

Lisa becomes the coach of Bart's Li...
4

73921 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXI

Bart and Milhouse use their videoga...
5

39072 Views

Lisa Simpson, This Isn't

Lisa decides she doesn't want to en...
6

37229 Views

The Fool Monty

When a dying Mr. Burns loses his me...
7

36767 Views

How Munched is that Birdi

The Simpsons decide to give away Sa...
8

46766 Views

The Fight Before Christma

Four Christmas tales... Bart takes ...
9

39146 Views

Donnie Fatso

Acting as an undercover informant, ...
10

40880 Views

Moms I'd Like To Forget

As Bart tries to determine the orig...
11

39145 Views

Flaming Moe

Smithers convinces Moe to turn his ...
12

41257 Views

Homer the Father

Homer uses plotlines from a 1980's ...
13

40550 Views

The Blue and the Gray

Unable to get a date for Valentine'...
14

41211 Views

Angry Dad: The Movie

When the 'Angry Dad' character is t...
15

42102 Views

The Scorpion's Tale

When Lisa discovers a wildflower th...
16

38618 Views

A Midsummer's Nice Dreams

When legendary comics Cheech and Ch...
17

40164 Views

Love is a Many Strangled

Homer enrolls in a fathering enrich...
18

44011 Views

The Great Simpsina

Lisa befriends an old magician who ...
19

41062 Views

The Housewives of Fat Ton

Fat Tony asks for Selma's hand in m...
20

45459 Views

Homer Scissorhands

Homer discovers a talent for cuttin...
21

49394 Views

500 Keys

A drawer full of old keys sparks se...
22

46066 Views

The Ned-liest Catch

Ned Flanders falls for Bart's teach...

season 22 931.9k views

Season 23

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34003 Views

The Falcon and the D'ohma

Homer attempts to help a former CIA...
2

34407 Views

Bart Stops to Smell the R

Superintendant Chalmers teaches Bar...
3

75082 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXII

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
4

35759 Views

Replaceable You

With some help from Martin Prince, ...
5

39975 Views

The Food Wife

As Homer and Marge vie for the kids...
6

39209 Views

The Book Job

After Lisa discovers that her favor...
7

39764 Views

The Man in the Blue Flann

Burns appoints Homer the nuclear po...
8

41671 Views

The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

After being fired from his popular ...
9

84520 Views

Holidays Of Future Passed

Thirty years in the future, Bart an...
10

41763 Views

Politically Inept, With H

Homer becomes a celebrity after he ...
11

43432 Views

The D'oh-cial Network

Lisa's idea for an online social ne...
12

38436 Views

Moe Goes From Rags To Ric

Moe's bar rag tells the story of hi...
13

39335 Views

The Daughter Also Rises

As Valentine's Day approaches, Marg...
14

43870 Views

At Long Last Leave

Fed up with the family's negative i...
15

43904 Views

Exit Through The Kwik-E-M

Bart becomes a famous street artist...
16

43966 Views

How I Wet Your Mother

With help from one of Professor Fri...
17

42075 Views

Them, Robot

Homer becomes the last human employ...
18

42752 Views

Beware My Cheating Bart

Bart falls for Jimbo's girlfriend S...
19

58048 Views

A Totally Fun Thing Bart

The Simpsons vacation on a cruise l...
20

45154 Views

The Spy Who Learned Me

After being injured at work, Homer ...
21

48502 Views

Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agend

Complications ensue when Flanders a...
22

46572 Views

Lisa Goes Gaga

Singer Lady Gaga attempts to cheer ...

season 23 1002.2k views

Season 24

22 Episodes by popularity

1

34086 Views

Moonshine River

Bart seeks out Cletus's daughter, w...
2

79846 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIII

In these three Halloween tales... a...
3

38248 Views

Adventures in Baby-gettin

Marge decides she wants to conceive...
4

33658 Views

Gone Abie Gone

Homer and Marge search for Grampa a...
5

35684 Views

Penny-Wiseguys

While serving jury duty, Fat Tony a...
6

41226 Views

A Tree Grows in Springfie

After his beloved new tablet "MyPad...
7

39071 Views

The Day the Earth Stood C

Homer is elated when a cool dad and...
8

47063 Views

To Cur, With Love

When Bart accuses Homer of not liki...
9

42856 Views

Homer Goes to Prep School

The Simpsons anticipate the apocaly...
10

41658 Views

A Test Before Trying

Bart must pass a district-wide test...
11

42292 Views

The Changing of the Guard

After narrowly surviving a tornado,...
12

46882 Views

Love is a Many-Splintered

Bart attempts to patch things up wi...
13

43467 Views

Hardly Kirk-ing

With Bart's help, Milhouse transfor...
14

40356 Views

Gorgeous Grampa

With encouragement from Mr. Burns, ...
15

43510 Views

Black-Eyed, Please

When Flanders gives Homer a black e...
16

46608 Views

Dark Knight Court

Bart stands trial in youth court af...
17

44363 Views

What Animated Women Want

In an episode that focuses on the c...
18

42203 Views

Pulpit Friction

Lovejoy quits the church after the ...
19

44513 Views

Whiskey Business

Moe's new suit catches the attentio...
20

44530 Views

The Fabulous Faker Boy

Bart takes piano lessons in hopes o...
21

46607 Views

The Saga of Carl

Homer, Moe and Lenny travel to Icel...
22

48293 Views

Dangers on a Train

Homer secretly reconstructs a kiddy...

season 24 967k views

Season 25

23 Episodes by popularity

1

222263 Views

Homerland

When Homer returns from a Nuclear W...
2

174401 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXIV

In three terrifying Halloween tales...
3

120607 Views

Four Regrettings and a Fu

A Springfield funeral prompts Marge...
4

115852 Views

YOLO

After experiencing a midlife crisis...
5

105882 Views

Labor Pains

Homer gets trapped in an elevator w...
6

100904 Views

The Kid Is All Right

Lisa is elated to befriend Isabel, ...
7

100230 Views

Yellow Subterfuge

Bart seeks revenge after Skinner pr...
8

95062 Views

White Christmas Blues

As Christmas approaches, Marge tran...
9

96591 Views

Steal This Episode

Homer is put on trial after the FBI...
10

91824 Views

Married to the Blob

The Comic Book Guy marries a Japane...
11

93450 Views

Specs and the City

Homer uses augmented reality glasse...
12

87891 Views

Diggs

Bart befriends a fellow student and...
13

93366 Views

The Man Who Grew Too Much

Sideshow Bob genetically alters his...
14

90794 Views

The Winter of His Content

When the Simpsons allow members of ...
15

87316 Views

The War of Art

Homer convinces Marge to sell a pai...
16

87762 Views

You Don't Have to Live Li

After Lisa delivers a school report...
17

88639 Views

Luca$

Lisa falls for a competitive eater ...
18

110222 Views

Days of Future Future

Thirty years in the future, Bart tr...
19

92359 Views

What to Expect When Bart'

Bart uses voodoo in an attempt to g...
20

108463 Views

Brick Like Me

After Homer bonds with Lisa, Homer'...
21

95698 Views

Pay Pal

As Mother's Day approaches, after H...
22

89945 Views

Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Bart is overcome with guilt after a...
25

7349 Views

The Longest Daycare

A theatrical short that premiered J...

season 25 2356.9k views

Season 26

22 Episodes by popularity

1

53334 Views

Clown in the Dumps

The unthinkable happens: a Springfi...
2

39600 Views

The Wreck of the Relation

Homer and Bart set sail on the rela...
3

24551 Views

Super Franchise Me

Marge opens a sandwich shop....
4

39395 Views

Treehouse of Horror XXV

Don't miss the all-new, spooktacula...
5

18405 Views

Opposites-A-Frack

An all-new episode featuring guest ...
6

33004 Views

Simpsorama

The Simpsons travel to the 31st cen...
7

21977 Views

Blazed and Confused

Bart faces a tough test at school w...
8

17954 Views

Covercraft

Homer forms a cover band with some ...
9

18015 Views

I Won't Be Home For Chris

Marge doesn't approve of Homer's Ch...
10

18259 Views

The Man Who Came To Be Di

An amusement park ride lands the Si...
11

21675 Views

Bart's New Friend

Bart and Homer become BFF's....
12

18219 Views

The Musk Who Fell to Eart

Homer becomes muse to Elon Musk....
13

16150 Views

Walking Big and Tall

Springfield gets a new town anthem....
14

15380 Views

My Fare Lady

Marge trades in her mom-chauffeur h...
15

11443 Views

The Princess Guide

Moe plots revenge over Nigerian e-m...
16

17978 Views

Sky Police

The Springfield congregation turns ...
17

10345 Views

Waiting for Duffman

When Duffman undergoes hip replacem...
18

12220 Views

Peeping Mom

Bart lies about being involved in a...
19

13681 Views

The Kids Are All Fight

When Homer gets an old film roll de...
20

11623 Views

Let's Go Fly A Coot

The Simpsons learn about Grampa's d...
21

13985 Views

Bull-E

After Bart gets bullied at the scho...
22

30172 Views

Mathlete's Feat

When a modernized Springfield Eleme...

season 26 477.4k views

Season 27

10 Episodes by popularity

1

39591 Views

Every Man's Dream

SEASON PREMIERE. Homer and Marge ha...
2

32696 Views

Cue Detective

Scotty Boom, a Chew Network super-c...
3

29654 Views

Puffless

Upon learning that their father rea...
4

34478 Views

Halloween of Horror

Homer and Lisa hide out in the atti...
5

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x

00:28

(Springfield: ext. springfield - christmas eve - aerial shot)

00:28

Lisa Simpson: (SINGING) SILVER BELLS, SILVER BELLS...

00:34

Lisa Simpson: (SINGING) ...IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME IN THE CITY...

00:41

Snake Jailbird: That is like, so moving. (TURNS) Yo family, isn't that beautiful?

00:50

(House: int. house - continuous)

00:50

(Burns Manor: ext. Burns' mansion - christmas eve - later)

00:50

Lisa Simpson: (SINGING) ...WALKING IN A WINTER WONDERLAND.

00:53

C. Montgomery Burns: (TOUCHED) Exquisite, just exquisite. Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds.

01:02

Waylon Smithers: Should I call them off, sir?

01:03

C. Montgomery Burns: No, no. It's their Christmas too.

01:05

Lisa Simpson: (TO THE TUNE OF "HAVA NAGILA") HAVA-NICE CHRISTMAS, HAVA-NICE CHRISTMAS, HAVA-NICE CHRISTMAS...NON-CHRISTIAN FRIEND...

01:14

Krusty the Clown: (ROLLING EYES) That's even worse than "I'm Dreaming of a Whitefish Christmas."

01:14

Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: For this I tied my bathrobe?

01:19

(House: Ext. house - evening)

01:19

Lisa Simpson: (SING) JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING / RING-TING-TINGLING TOO...

01:21

Blue-Haired Lawyer: Cease and desist! You are forbidden to perform that song without paying royalties to the copyright owner.

01:26

Marge Simpson: (SCOFFING) Nobody owns Christmas Carols. They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store!

01:32

Blue-Haired Lawyer: Not true! But you are welcome to sing the many beloved public domain carols such as O Tannenbaum, Good King Wenceslas, Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring--

01:33

Homer Simpson: Those suck. They're worse than nothing. I could write way better songs.

01:44

(Burns's Lawyer's House: Ext. Burns' lawyer house)

01:44

Blue-Haired Lawyer: Go ahead. But don't use A-flat or G-natural. Those notes are owned by Disney.

Homer Simpson: (MOANS)

01:48

Blue-Haired Lawyer: That's A-flat.

Homer Simpson: (MOANS, SLIGHTLY HIGHER PITCH)

01:51

Blue-Haired Lawyer: That's better.

01:52

Homer Simpson: That's it, I'm writing a Christmas carol. If I can make my own clothes, I can do anything.

02:01

(Simpson Home: Int. simpson house - night)

02:01

Homer Simpson: CHRISTMAS IN DECEMBER / WOW WOW WOW / GIVE ME TONS OF PRESENTS / NOW NOW NOW!

02:08

Ned Flanders: Hey Homer, writing a new Christmas carol?

02:10

Homer Simpson: Maybe.

02:12

Ned Flanders: Well, the Bible says it's fun to do stuff together.

02:14

Ned Flanders: (SINGING) THERE'S A STRANGER IN THE MANGER AND HIS NAME IS LOVE (SPOKEN) Take it, Homer!

02:20

Ned Flanders: Oh, I got it -- you want me to stay out here and work on the chorus.

02:23

Homer Simpson: Flanders, I am a patient, reasonable, handsome man. But even I have my limits. Now beat it!

02:31

Ned Flanders: Why thank you, Homer. It's a popsicle in my favorite flavor -- plain.

Homer Simpson: (FROZEN ANNOYED GRUNT)

02:43

Homer Simpson: How am I supposed to write a song with that stupid jerk bothering me all the time... Wait a minute...

02:54

Homer Simpson: (SINGS) EVERYBODY IN THE USA / HATES THEIR STUPID NEIGHBOR / (GAINING CONFIDENCE) HE'S FLANDERS AND HE'S REALLY REALLY LAME / FLANDERS TRIED TO WRECK MY SONG / HIS VIEWS ON BIRTH CONTROL ARE WRONG / I HATE HIS GUTS AND FLANDERS IS HIS NAME.

03:13

(Moe's Tavern: int. moe's - day)

03:13

Carl Carlson: (SHOUT) F-L-A-N-R-D-S!

03:13

Homer Simpson: (SINGS) HE'S THE MAN THAT I HATE BEST / I'D LIKE TO SEE HIS HOUSE GO UP IN FLAME!

03:23

David Byrne: Excuse me, I've been researching indigenous folk music of Springfield, and I couldn't help overhearing your delightfully cruel hate song.

03:30

Carl Carlson: (AMAZED) David Byrne?!

03:32

Moe Szyslak: (AMAZED) Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...

03:35

David Byrne: And, I used to wrestle under the name "El Diablo."

03:38

Lenny Leonard: I thought that was Philip Glass.

03:41

David Byrne: Yeah, he wishes.

03:42

Homer Simpson: Hey, Mister? If you like my song so much, would you like to buy a tape? (SELLING) It's already rewound.

03:47

David Byrne: No thanks. But I would like to sing it with you and produce it.

03:50

Homer Simpson: (ROLLS EYES, ANNOYED) Fine.

03:55

(Recording Studio: Int. professional recording studio - day)

03:55

Carl Carlson: (YELLING) F-L-A!

03:56

Homer Simpson: (YELLS) His name is Ned!

03:57

Carl Carlson: (YELLING) E-R-S!

03:58

Homer Simpson: (YELLS) Ned's a stupid name! (SINGS) HE'S WORSE THAN FRANKENSTEIN OR DR. NO.

04:04

David Byrne: (SINGS) YOU CAN'T UPSET HIM EVEN SLIGHTLY / HE JUST SMILES AND NODS POLITELY / THEN GOES HOME AND WORSHIPS NIGHTLY / (SPOKEN) His Leftorium is an Emporium of Woe!

04:15

(RECORD-PRESSING PLANT: int. record-pressing plant - day)

04:15

Carl Carlson: F-L-A!

04:16

Homer Simpson: (NAGGING OLD LADY) Don't yell at Ned!

04:18

(KBBL: int. kbbl - DAY)

04:18

Carl Carlson: (YELL) D-E-R!

04:19

Homer Simpson: (NAGGING OLD LADY) His wife is dead!

04:21

Homer Simpson: (SING) EVERYBODY HATES THAT STUPID JERK!

04:24

(Record Store: Ext. record store - day)

04:24

David Byrne: SPRINGFIELD ROCKS WITH HOMER'S JOYOUS LOATHING...

04:29

(Back Room: int. back room/storage area - continuous)

04:29

David Byrne: ...FILLING CLUBS (TAKES QUICK SIP OF WATER) WITH ANGRY VALENTINOS...

04:34

(Warehouse Rave: int. warehouse rave - night)

04:34

David Byrne: YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOVE YOUR FEET / JUST HATE FLANDERS TO THE DISCO BEAT...

04:38

Homer Simpson: HE'S YOUR PERKY, PEPPY NIGHTMARE NEIGHBORINO!

04:41

(FLANDERS CAR: int. flanders car - moving - day)

04:41

Homer Simpson: IF YOU DESPISE POLITE LEFT-HANDERS...

04:44

Ned Flanders: THEN I DOUBT YOU'LL LIKE NED FLANDERS / OR HIS CREEPY LITTLE OFFSPRING, ROD AND TODD...

04:49

Todd Flanders: That's us!

04:50

Rod Flanders: Hooray!

04:51

(Karaoke Bar: int. karaoke bar - night)

04:51

Springfielders: (YELL) F-L-A!

04:52

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: (YELLS) His name is Ned!

04:53

Springfielders: (YELL) E-R-S!

04:54

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: (YELLS) He is so white bread!

04:56

(First Church of Springfield: int. first church of springfield - day)

04:56

Choir: (SING) THE SMILING, MUSTACHED GEEK WHO WALKS WITH GOD!

05:01

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: Mass dismissed!

05:05

Homer Simpson: Hey, what are we gonna wear tomorrow?

05:08

(Simpson Home: int. simpson house - kitchen - evening)

05:08

Bill: We're half-way through our same song six-pack!

05:11

Marty: Now let's hear William Shatner's version of "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders"!

05:11

Marge Simpson: Another cover? My God, let it die.

05:20

William Shatner: (SPEAKS/SING) Everybody... in the... USA... hates their... stupid neighbor (NAY-BORE)... He's the Flanders man... the Flanders man... Flanders!

05:35

Marge Simpson: I am so sick of that song!

05:38

Homer Simpson: (EXASPERATED) Me too -- I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.

05:43

Marge Simpson: Why don't we take a vacation and get away from that song for a while?

05:47

Homer Simpson: Well, I guess we could afford one nice trip.

05:50

Marge Simpson: I still think you should have left that at the motel.

05:53

Homer Simpson: What? It said "take one."

05:53

Bart Simpson: Balloon ride, wax museum, the Denzel Washington monument, colonial Phoenix, hey, dude ranch!

06:04

Bart Simpson: And there's no radio or TV, so we won't have to hear your song!

06:08

Homer Simpson: Sweet.

06:09

Lisa Simpson: (PICKS UP ANOTHER BROCHURE) Or we could go to Walter Gropius's Bauhaus Village?

06:13

Homer Simpson: And fight the crowds? Forget it. The Simpsons are going to Bart's idea!

06:18

(Simpson Car: ext. simpson car - moving - day)

06:18

(Car: int. car - continuous)

06:18

Homer Simpson: This dude ranch is gonna be great -- a whole week without hearing that stupid song.

06:24

David Byrne: You won't think it's stupid when you hear the extended salsa mix!

06:30

David Byrne: (SINGS SALSA STYLE) NO NOS GUSTA FLANDERS / ES UN HOMBRE ESTUPIDO / NO NOS GUSTA FLANDERS

06:36

Marge Simpson: Watch it, Mr. Byrne! You'll slip on the Simonize!

06:39

David Byrne: Simonize?!

06:45

David Byrne: (FALLING NOISE, THEN:) Can you take me to the hospital?

06:47

Moe Szyslak: Yeah. No problem.

06:50

David Byrne: Wasn't that the hospital?

06:52

Moe Szyslak: Uh, ya ever see the movie "Misery?"

06:55

David Byrne: Actually, no.

06:56

Moe Szyslak: Then this'll all be new to ya.

07:09

(Dude Ranch: ext. dude ranch - front gate - day)

07:09

The Rich Texan: Welcome to the "Lazy I" ranch, where we give you a week of rustic ranch living.

07:15

Comic Book Guy: Do you have an internet connection?

07:15

The Rich Texan: Internet? (LAUGHING) Son, the only internet connection we got is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. Or you can patch in through the smart-fridge in your cabin.

07:29

Comic Book Guy: If said fridge is truly smart, it will be filled with Hot Pockets and baloney by the time I get there. Goodbye.

07:37

Lisa Simpson: "On this battleground in 1881, fifty-six Indians lost their lives and four brave Americans lost their hats."

07:37

Homer Simpson: (CHOKED UP) Those poor hats.

07:48

Lisa Simpson: This whole ranch is appalling. It's built on a legacy of cruelty to animals and oppression of indigenous people.

07:54

The Rich Texan: (TIPS HAT) Just our way of making y'all feel welcome!

07:57

Lisa Simpson: You're not listening!

07:58

The Rich Texan: I never do! Yee-Haw!

08:09

(RANCH: ext. ranch - corral/stables area - morning)

08:09

Bart Simpson: I'll show you how they get on a horse where I come from.

08:12

Bart Simpson: Daddy, I need upsies!

08:13

Homer Simpson: Coming, sweetie!

08:20

Wrangler #1: He sure shut us up.

Wrangler #2: (GRUNTS)

08:27

Marge Simpson: I really don't want to do a lot of flip-de-loops.

08:30

The Rich Texan: No problem. You can hop on the chuck wagon with Cookie here.

08:35

Cookie: Pleased to meet ya! Have a tooth.

08:41

Bart Simpson: Hey Crabby Hayes, get with the program!

08:44

Lisa Simpson: I'm sick of this horse slapping and cow taunting! I'm going to my room!

08:50

Voice: Hold it right there!

08:53

Luke: Momma Rattlesnake would be mighty sore if you scrambled her young'un.

09:00

Luke: (TIPS HAT) Luke Stetson, junior wrangler.

09:03

Lisa Simpson: I'm Lisa Simpson and you're the first person I've met here who cares about our animal equals.

09:08

Luke: Well, if you like animals, you won't want to disappoint that pony over there. She's just achin' to show you around.

09:17

Lisa Simpson: I'm sure she'd be happier without someone sitting on her back all day.

09:21

Luke: I'm sorry you're not interested. Because I need somebody to help me hang these "No Hunting" and "Free Tibet" signs.

09:29

(PICNIC AREA: ext. picnic area - day)

09:29

Marge Simpson: That was a delicious meal, Cookie. What do we do with our garbage?

09:33

Cookie: Just leave it for Cleanie.

09:38

Cleanie: My preciousss... Gollum....

09:44

Chief Wiggum: Would you like to be photographed in my great-grandfather's headdress? He unified the nations of the western plains. Five dollars, or three for twelve.

09:52

Homer Simpson: Can you shoot one where I'm Rambo and my wife is Betty Boop?

09:55

Chief Wiggum: You mean "Package B."

09:57

Dr. Julius Hibbert: And this is supposed to save our marriage?

10:01

Bart Simpson: I thought you guys lived off the land. How come you're selling junk to jerks like us?

10:06

Native American: We used to live and farm in a bountiful valley. Then the river was dammed to make that lake...by our ancient enemy, the beaver.

10:16

Marge Simpson: Why don't you just chase the beavers away?

10:19

Native American: Unfortunately, the beaver is also our God. In retrospect it was a poor choice.

10:24

Homer Simpson: You people are guests in our country, and the beaver have no right to treat you that way. If I get back your land, will you promise to build a casino on it?

10:33

Native American: Sure. And when we do, your breakfast will be comped.

10:37

Homer Simpson: How many decks will your blackjack dealers use?

10:39

Native American: Eight.

10:39

Homer Simpson: Three.

10:40

Native American: Four.

10:40

Homer Simpson: Deal. My brother...

10:47

(RANCH: ext. ranch - wide shot - day)

10:47

(Field: ext. field - continuous)

10:47

Lisa Simpson: (AMAZED GASP) Oh Luke.

10:50

Marge Simpson: (ALARMED) I didn't gasp like that until I was eighteen!

10:57

(Lake: ext. lake - day)

10:57

Homer Simpson: All right, son, we just knock over this dam and the noble Native Americans can reclaim the land that is theirs.

Homer Simpson: (SCREAMS OF PAIN)

11:16

Homer Simpson: No! I wanted to die choking on food!

11:21

Bart Simpson: (DETERMINED) I'll save you!

11:27

Homer Simpson: (BOUNCING ALONG) So long, suckers!

11:33

Homer Simpson: (SCREAMS TWICE, THEN:) Stop shoving! (SWEETLY CONCERNED) The little one isn't getting any. (SCREAM)

11:40

(RANCH: ext. ranch - late afternoon)

11:40

Lisa Simpson: Thanks for making me feel better about this place, Luke.

11:43

Luke: Lisa, this here is the New West, where we respect our equine and bovine Americans.

11:51

Luke: Uh, well maybe we should just mosey on over this way.

11:55

Cookie: Free range, my ass! Tonight you're gonna be swimming next to a matzo ball.

12:00

Luke: I think maybe we should just look at the clouds. Ain't that pretty.

12:04

Lisa Simpson: Oh, it looks like a happy sheep.

Lisa Simpson: (CHARLES NELSON REILLY REACTION)

12:14

Luke: Oh, dammit!

12:18

(NATURAL HOT SPRINGS: ext. natural hot springs - sunset)

12:18

Marge Simpson: (WESTERN ACCENT) Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke.

12:23

Lisa Simpson: Mom, why are you talking like that?

12:25

Marge Simpson: (WESTERN ACCENT) Don't rightly know. I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy. (NORMAL VOICE) I'll stop now.

12:32

Lisa Simpson: Well, I like it here, too. Luke has shown me the gentle side of the old west. He's really sophisticated for a thirteen-year-old.

12:39

Marge Simpson: Thir-what year old?!! Lisa, you're only eight.

12:43

Lisa Simpson: But when he's twenty-three, I'll be eighteen.

12:46

Marge Simpson: Lisa, you don't know what you'll want in the future. I didn't marry the first boy I... well, I did. But you shouldn't!

Lisa Simpson: (EXASPERATED NOISE)

12:57

(RANCH: ext. ranch - night)

12:57

Lisa Simpson: Wanna play a little longer? It's only ten and the moon is awful big.

13:05

Luke: Well heck, you should see it when it's full.

13:14

Marge Simpson: (WORRIED) Oh no! They're making beautiful music together!

13:17

Homer Simpson: (STRATEGIC MULLING NOISES) / Let's see move that there... do a flanking maneuver there... Wind should be coming in from the south... Time it to coincide with a beaver holiday...

13:28

Homer Simpson: This map is useless! Useless!

13:31

Marge Simpson: Homie, I'm worried about how fast our kids are growing up.

13:35

Homer Simpson: It's the beef hormones and the fluorescent lights. What are you gonna do?

13:38

Marge Simpson: But they're already acting like teenagers. Lisa's with that boy... and look at Maggie!

14:00

(DINING HALL: int. dining hall - morning)

14:00

Lisa Simpson: (NOTICING SIGN) Look, Cookie! There's a dance tonight!

14:03

Cookie: A dance! A dance! (HAPPILY CACKLES)

14:10

Cookie: Whoo, I'm pooped. I'm goin' to bed. Bed! (CACKLES)

14:16

Luke: (INTO PHONE) All righty, I'll see you tonight -- and I'll save you the first dance. Love you too, Clara.

14:23

Lisa Simpson: Clara?! He's got a girlfriend! (CHOKING UP) I feel like such an idiot.

14:33

(Lisa and Bart's Cabin: int. lisa and bart's cabin - day - moments later)

14:33

Bart Simpson: Hey, bottom bunk's mine.

14:39

Cookie: Keep goin'.

14:49

(DIRT ROAD THROUGH FOREST: ext. dirt road through forest - LATE AFTERNOON)

14:49

Lisa Simpson: I can't believe Luke has another gal. "My name is Clara... I've known Luke for more than five days..."

14:53

Girl: (WESTERN ACCENT) Excuse me, is this the way to the Lazy I Ranch?

14:59

Lisa Simpson: Yeah, it sure is...

15:04

Lisa Simpson: (CHANGING QUICKLY) ...But a quicker way to the ranch is that shortcut.

15:07

Clara: Thanks darlin'. See you at the dance.

15:13

Lisa Simpson: (FALSE FRIENDLY) I look forward to it. Ha ha ha ha, I hate you.

15:25

(BEAVER DAM: ext. beaver dam - afternoon)

15:25

(Car: ext. car - moments later)

15:25

Homer Simpson: (CALLING) Check it out, beavers. Delicious motel furniture!

15:30

Bart Simpson: They took the bait. Let's go.

15:33

Homer Simpson: Uh-oh! We forgot to empty the mini-bar!

15:43

Homer Simpson: (GASP) That's a seventeen-dollar deck of cards!

15:45

Bart Simpson: Let it go, Dad.

15:53

(BASE OF THE DAM: ext. base of the dam - day)

15:53

Homer Simpson: Quick, find the master log! There's always a master log.

16:06

Homer Simpson: We did it! Finally, man has triumphed over a small, furry animal!

16:22

Native American Woman: Treaty... Treaty... Treaty... Bill... Treaty... (HOLDS UP MAGAZINE LABELED:) "PEACE PIPE AFICIONADO" magazine...

16:29

Chief Wiggum: Thank you. You have restored our village and our way of life.

16:32

Brave: We would like to make you honorary members of our tribe.

16:35

Chief Wiggum: Drink deep from these cups.

16:39

Chief Wiggum: The bear urine will make you strong.

16:44

Chief Wiggum: (CHUCKLES) Actually, it's Fresca.

16:46

Homer Simpson: (SPITTING OUT DRINK) Fresca?!

16:49

(Main Ranch Building: EXt. main ranch building - NIGHT)

16:49

Caller: WELLLLL... GRAB YOUR PARTNER AND START SWINGIN' 'EM / DON'T FORGET THE TWO-DRINK MINIMUM / TAKE YOUR CORNER BY THE HAND / GET ADULT VIDEOS ON DEMAND! / FLASH YOUR TEETH LET'S SEE THOSE SMILES / PAY WITH VISA EARN FREE MILES! / YEE HAW!

17:09

Luke: Dang it, Clara should be here by now.

17:12

Lisa Simpson: I'm sure she's just running late. Or, she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are.

17:17

Luke: That sure don't sound like my sister.

17:20

Lisa Simpson: Sister?! You mean she's not your girlfriend?

17:22

Luke: Hell no! They outlawed that in this state two years ago.

17:27

Lisa Simpson: (QUICKLY) Need-help-now-come-with-me-done-something-terrible!

17:29

Bart Simpson: (JUST AS FAST) Don't-really-care-just-terribly-caught-up-in-moment!

17:34

The Rich Texan: I have some sad news for ya'll. After this dance, I'm headin' to jail.

17:41

The Rich Texan: One of my stray bullets hit a Texas Ranger. But I'll be back in six months, yee haw!

17:49

The Rich Texan: (SADLY) Blanks. They just don't feel the same.

18:06

(Woods: ext. woods - night)

Owl: (COOS)

Coyote: (HOWLS TWICE)

Rabbit: (WEIRD NOISE)

18:06

Lisa Simpson: ... So I sent Luke's sister down the wrong trail and... Hey! Where'd all this water come from? There used to be a trail here! And there used to be a beaver dam there.

18:15

Bart Simpson: Who are you, the usedta police?

18:19

Clara: Help!

18:20

Clara: Help me! I can't swim! I'm one lesson short!

18:25

Lisa Simpson: How can we get across?!

18:28

Bart Simpson: Hey beavers! Remember me, you buck-toothed nerds?

18:43

Lisa Simpson: (CALLING TO CLARA) Run across!

18:50

Lisa Simpson: I'm sorry. I only sent you the wrong way because I thought you were Luke's girlfriend.

18:55

Clara: (SARCASTIC) Well, that certainly justifies attempted murder. You know, there are more important things in this world than boys.

19:02

Clara: (VERY ATTRACTED) Hel-lo, handsome!

19:05

Bart Simpson: (UNINTERESTED) What's up, Cootie Breath?

19:10

(RANCH: ext. ranch - main area - morning)

19:10

Homer Simpson: Look at those stupid city slickers, with their fur coats and pointy hats.

19:14

Marge Simpson: Homer, those are elk.

19:16

Homer Simpson: I still hate them. (YELLS AT ELK) Go back to Pittsburgh!

Elk: (SAD NOISE)

19:23

Luke: Lisa, Clara told me 'bout how you saved her last night.

19:27

Lisa Simpson: (TENTATIVELY) Did Clara... tell you anything else?

19:30

Luke: No. Just that she felt mighty stupid for getting herself lost in them woods.

19:34

Lisa Simpson: Listen, Luke. It's my fault Clara got lost. I didn't know she was your sister, and I wanted you all to myself.

19:41

Luke: You would do that just for me... (ANGRY) That's despicable! You're the kind of city slicker my family left Central Park West to avoid. (SHAKES HEAD) You've got a lot of chutzpah, Missy. Goodbye.

19:58

(Car: Int. car)

19:58

Homer Simpson: A lot can happen when you're lookin' the other way.

19:58

Marge Simpson: You're tellin' me.

19:58

Lisa Simpson: (SOBS, THEN:) Oh, I had my first crush, and all it did was make me do terrible things and then break my heart.

20:10

Marge Simpson: Lisa, welcome to love. It's full of doubt and pain and uncertainty. But then one day you find a man you love so much it hurts.

20:22

Homer Simpson: (SUSPICIOUS) Who is he?!

20:24

Marge Simpson: You, Homie.

20:25

Homer Simpson: Woo hoo! In your face, imaginary guy!

20:30

Bart Simpson: Hey, let's see if Dad's song is finally off the air.

20:33

Bill: Comin' up next, Springfield's latest one-hit wonder: "The Moe Szyslak Connection," produced by David Byrne.

20:39

Moe Szyslak: (SINGS) MOE MOE MOE / HOW DO YOU LIKE ME? / HOW DO YOU LIKE ME? / MOE MOE MOE / WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME? / NOBODY LIKES ME...

20:50

Marge Simpson: Eh, we can spend another week at the ranch.

SEASON 14 EPISODE 18

Dude, Where's My Ranch?

This episode is available in 4:3 & 16:9

While vacationing at a dude ranch, Lisa falls for a cute 13-year-old cowboy; Homer vows to stop beavers who've dammed a river and kept Native Americans from their land. ...

GUEST VOICES
David Byrne

Producers
Al Jean

DIRECTORS
Chris Clements

WRITERS
Ian Maxtone-Graham

Read More +

CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

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Clip From S14/E18

Everybody in the USA
Clip From S14/E18

Everybody in the USA

Homer writes a song about how much he hates Ned Flanders.
Clip From S14/E18

Shatner Sings
Clip From S14/E18

Shatner Sings

Homer's song is overplayed on the radio.
Clip From S14/E18

Homer is Dammed
Clip From S14/E18

Homer is Dammed

Homer tries to knock down a beaver dam.
Clip From S14/E18

The New West
Clip From S14/E18

The New West

Luke shows Lisa the New West.
Clip From S14/E18

The Kids Are Growing Up
Clip From S14/E18

The Kids Are Growing Up

Marge is worried about how the kids are all acting like teenagers.

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