Introducing

Sr. Mary Returns to Sod'em, OPI(RS)., ODD.

Sr. Mary Returns to Sod'em is the most enduring spiritual person thus far instantiated in the corporeal body that was born into a regular nuclear family domestic arrangement in the Richmond River reaches of the naturally well graced and endowed Far North Coast region of the State of New South Wales, in the Commonwealth of Australia. The initial physical birth occurred sometime last century, and the sordid details were promptly forgotten by the birthee, which is probably all for the best, though if the nasty man who performed post partum sexual abuse and mutilation were known, they might well be slapped with a law suit for the infliction of actual bodily harm, not to mention the distress of being bereft of the fullness of the god given skin of the organ of maleness. Ensoulment as such took place approximately 6 hours, 6 minutes and 6 seconds after the physical birth, as determined by the moment of umbilical severance. (We are aware that in some human beings, George Bush amongst others, ensoulment takes place at conception, George is thus a clear and present warning of the dangers of allowing, or even, heaven forbid, encouraging, ensoulment  before there is a brain capable of supporting and enabling the said soul, indeed, before there is any brain at all. It is much better to wait, at least for a few months.)

After a period of less than thirty years preparation, including heavy indoctrination into the lives of the Saints admired by the church of the bishops of Rome, with a special emphasis on the more bloodied martyrs, from well clad nuns in heavy, black leather shoes, with long, whippy canes and other strategic accessories, Sister departed for the spiritual heart of the nation, and spent many happy years in the Faculty of Arts at Sydney University, where he enjoyed Chinese, Latin, Mathematics, some bits of science and other pieces, and was most enthralled by the joys of the Departments of Philosophy. Yes, not be out done, there were two mutually antagonistic Depts. of Philosophy, thereby allowing the obsessive compulsively inclined to get in twice as much as they might elsewhere.

In the days of the years 1985 and 1986, the secular entity that was our nun in the making underwent a series of dramatic events, or awakenings, and these finally prompted him to make the move from passive admiration and wonder to active inhabitation and postulation. Sadly, we have been unable to pin down the exact date on which the nun-to-be formally accepted his vocation, but well documented events of the time enable some guesses to be made. The first habitted event of the new postulant was attendance at a welcoming ceremony for His Holiness the Bishop of Rome, who was attending a gathering of his faithful at Sydney University in the last week of November, 1986. Sometime prior to this date, the secular entity had attended at least two nuncheons, and had formally declared his commitment to pursue a calling within the illustrious Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, which shortly thereafter self-transfigured into the Order of Perpetual Indulgence.

Having accepted that he was called, and taken the provisional name of Sr. Mary Gross-Disorder, the fresh young nun sedulously devoted himself to acquiring those basic requirements of nunhood, such as a familiarity with the tenets and roots of the order, and a habit to die for. Sister has always been most grateful that the All Feral One(s) saw fit to bestow upon him the gift of stitches, and so it came to pass that he soon acquired a habit that would pass for nuncheon wear, and one or two more elaborate vestments for special occasions.

At this point, explicit mention must be made to two nuns who were of seminal influence on the postulant: Srs. Mary Dazie Chain, and Cum Dancing (later Mother Cum Dancing). Both now fully departed to the great convent in the Realms of Nirvana, they live on in the memories of those whose lives they touched and enriched, with joy, soup, wisdom, petulance, cotton lawn, and other boons. We had already acquired our first nipple piercings by then, but to Sr. Chain is owed the PA, tastefully filled with a weighty circle of platinum these many years since. As our Mistress of Novices, Sr. Chain also exercised considerable influence, and was a great source of information and inspiration in the area of habitation and investment, though we never saw entirely eye-to-eye on the delicate matter of a seemly finish for the unseen seams. Mother Cum Dancing had been a well known person in our lives for some time, being a dedicated apostle of the orderly tenet of the Promulgation of Universal Joy who was often to be found ministering in the flesh, even at the latest of hours. There were of course many other seminal influences that contributed to the nourishment and early development of this nun-entity, but the import of these two can not be denied, and we are pleased to be able to acknowledge our eternal debt to them in the here and now.

Shortly after the 1987 celebration of the Mardi Gras Festivities in Sydney, we were professed into full nunhood as a duly black-veiled nun of the Order of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, on a date that has been shrouded in the mists of time, and is hence a mystery of mysteries, and therefore not subject to the whims of tedious nit-pickery.

Toward the end of the year 1988 Sister fled the seen for browner pastures, and spent a happy two year sabbatical in Taiwan and Thailand, where he diligently practised the tenets of promulgating universal joy and extirpating stigmatic guilt, as well as acquiring beautiful silks and hand made cottons for new habit construction. Returning from this extended leave of absence, Sister set back to the Janome and a period of active manifestation, as well as preparation for a Ph.D., but the lure of the East proved too strong, and he again fled the scene, back to the heart of the City of Angels, where he has lived more or less happily ever after.

Introductions: Sr. Mary Returns to Sod'em | OPI(RS) - The Order of Perpetual Indulgence (Reformed Sovereign)
ODD - The Order of the Disciples of Discipline

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