While her Mother is busily washing dishes and cleaning up from the evening meal, the teenaged daughter in this family hastily retreats to her bedroom. After securing the door to prevent any interruptions, she flops on her bed and quickly absorbs herself in a romance novel she purchased from a nearby Christian bookstore. As she is avidly following the plot of the story, and relishing the romantic encounters of the young heroine, it does not even occur to this young woman that she should be assisting her Mother in the kitchen and helping to lift the load of her tired parents.
What is so serious about this dereliction of duty on the part of this young woman? Her loathing of anything related to domestic chores, and avid pursuit of a romantic world that does not exist in reality, is preconditioning her for marriage failure.
Being a fundamental Christian does not shield a believer from marriage failure. We are now informed that Christians have about as many divorces as unregenerate folks (about 50%). All is not well in the American Christian home!
Trouble Brewing
"Women’s Rights" movements may have had their roots in the Abolitionist movement of 1850 - 1860, and even in the godless, egalitarian influence of the French Revolution. The God-given role for women in society began to be considered as "chains" and "shackles" as early as 1905 in America by suffragettes and their sympathizers. The "Roaring Twenties" produced a fuller expression of women’s rights, complete with the shearing of long, glorious locks to "bobbed hair," brazen dress and outlandish behavior.
The Arrival of Rosie the Riveter
Prior to World War II, most American women, despite the inroads of radical feminists, were still wives and mothers at home, and the family was supported by the working Father/husband. With the advent of World War II, there were not only world-wide crises fomented by the conflict, there were also some serious social pathologies set in motion at home, the bitter fruit of which we are reaping today.
With millions of our men in uniform and a military/industrial complex desperate for workers, it was not uncommon for young American women to lay aside their aprons, sewing and home making, etc., in order to do their part for the war effort. "Rosie the Riveter" became a vital part of our country’s military preparedness. However, this experience of dressing, acting and working like a man was not to end with the victory of the Allies over the Axis powers. Many ladies thereafter disdained homemaking, motherhood, femininity and skirts, and vigorously cultivated their new "liberated" role.
Whereas Scripture portrays marriage and motherhood in noble terms (Proverbs 31:10-31), and as a role that is essential for the weal of the home and welfare of children, many modern feminine hearts view this role as demeaning, beneath their dignity and restrictive of their personal freedoms. Fleeing what they perceive as "chains" on their creativity and self-expression, many modern women have avidly sought a "career" to fulfil their dreams and satisfy their needs.
The Happy, Dependent Homemaker
This world, the flesh and Satan wish women to be "independent." However, Scripture mandates that a woman is to be "dependent," first on her father, then on her husband (1 Corinthians 7:25-38; Ephesians 5:22-24). A woman created by God to be home-centered (Titus 2:3-5) is ill-suited for the predatory, Machiavellian, and "dog-eat-dog" business world. It is difficult enough for a man to survive in this hostile, wicked environment. She is far better suited to provide an "Elim in the wilderness" for him, a place of respite and peace called his home, where he will be welcomed with warmth and affection. Here, he can bask in the warm glow of domestic felicity, for which she has been made by God to provide.
Contrary to the politically-correct pundits of this age, Scripture nowhere portrays women as being suited for a battlefield. They do well at bearing and mothering children, but carrying a rifle into combat is contrary to their psyche. Of what value is it for a woman to sublimate her maternal, marital and domestic instincts to be chief executive officer of a Fortune 500 company, the leading scorer in professional basketball, or a "million dollar producer" in real estate while her marriage is in shambles and her children grow like weeds?
Filling a plastic, impressionable teenaged girl’s mind with unending romantic novels does her a disservice. She honestly believes a gallant young man is going to come into her life by serendipity, who will fawn over her, adore her and meet her every whim just for the pleasure of worshiping at her feet. When she finally does marry, she has already made her husband the prisoner of her expectations. What a shocking and cruel blow she receives when she realizes her husband has less than noble motives and has glaring character deficiencies.
Had this young woman experienced a wholesome, loving family with Mom in her proper role as Queen of the home, and Dad as the loving leader, protector, provider, she would have seen the emptiness and farcical unreality of romantic drivel. She also would have developed a desire to be a wife and mother because she constantly worked alongside her mother: cooking, cleaning, baking, caring for children and attending to the innumerable affairs of a busy household.
Godly Training vs. Worldly Influences
Fundamental, Bible believing parents need to take inventory on how we are training our daughters. Of what eternal value is it for a girl to know how to apply layers of paint and grotesque cosmetics so she looks like someone in a French fashion magazine? If we allow her to wear clinging clothing that reveals every contour of her body, then we have taught her 1 Peter 3:3-4 is a lie and that carnal, provocative ways are acceptable. If we allow her to engage in recreational dating, we have undermined her future marriage and encouraged her to make crucial decisions based on feelings, hormones and lusts. If she can "slam dunk" the ball but will put her husband in the emergency room with her cooking, what have we accomplished? If we encourage her to have a "career" and develop an independent spirit, she then may find it difficult to submit to a husband when she makes more money than he does. Or if she finally submits to the sly overtures of the sexual predator in the office, how have we pleased the Lord? If she rejects motherhood, does not care to know about sewing a dress, baking a cake, keeping a house or changing a diaper, our character training and priorities are tragically distorted.
If you are a young woman, please listen to the counsel of one who has worked with troubled teen girls and families for several generations. If you desire a career, then do not marry! Both cannot be successfully done. One or the other will be adversely affected ("No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." Matthew 6:24). A married woman in the labor force has two masters! She is forced to choose and will make the choice Jesus described.
If this developing career woman wants to succeed in her field of endeavor, she dare not displease her master at work, who promises wealth, power, prestige and independence. By way of contrast, her master at home offers the difficult and demanding task of running a household, training up children and loving and serving her husband. This is why many husbands, especially those who seek to retain their God-given place as head of the home, wind up being despised, hated and divorced.
Homemaking is a career, a full-time occupation, and a challenging calling that is not for the weak-hearted. A "keeper at home" (Titus 2:5) is indeed at home, but she is laboring longer than 40 hours per week! One will not find dust balls around the perimeters of her rooms as big as rodents! In her house, you will not find cobwebs that are life-threatening, nor will you find green hairy things growing in her refrigerator. She is not popping chocolates and watching television. She is laboring tirelessly, indefatigably for her household. She does not "go to bed," she falls into bed, and must add a list of unaccomplished chores to tomorrow’s already long list.
Her unending toil, her ceaseless character training and mothering of her children do not add to her popularity in this world, but they will in the next. Her husband and her children rise up and bless her and praise her, as they realize the rare and precious jewel she is.
Many young women know how to look gaudy, provocative and alluring, but have not any idea of how to be a Godly wife and mother! You may catch the eye of a man with your seductive ways, but what have you accomplished? A Neanderthal Esau will be attracted to your body, but a Godly Boaz will be attracted to your character: "the King’s daughter is all glorious within" (Psalm 45:13).
Learn domestic skills instead of how to more artistically paint your face! Learn to be a servant instead of how to compete and be brash and bold. Your fulfillment and contentment will not be found in voyeuristic reading of romance novels, carving out a niche for yourself in the world of business, or squeezing into even tighter clothing. It will be found in being a Godly wife and mother!
