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Bush Confirms Death of Osama Bin Laden
by Dood Abides
President Bush, verifying the death of Al Qaeda commander Osama Bin Laden

Washington, DC (APE) - President Bush early this morning confirmed rumors of the death of Osama bin Laden, stating that, reluctantly, Bin Laden had died at the hands of foreign interrogators, not affiliated with the CIA. Bush stated that the CIA had been working fairly closely with the unnamed foreign government agency, but assumed no responsibilities for the treatment of Bin Laden.

Bush displayed pictures of the deceased bin Laden and stated that the body would be released to family members in time for full respect of Muslim burial customs, perhaps seeking to soften an anticipated backlash from Islamic extremists.

Rumors of Bin Laden's death had been spreading among major news associations today, citing sources from Saudi Arabia and France who had suggested that he had died earlier this month from typhus. The White House stated that it was simply trying to keep the record straight, while critics pointed to the announcement as possibly an effort to rebuke criticism over the administration's perceived lack of concern over Bin Laden and Al Qaeda prior to this November's coming election.

Autopsy photos of Bin Laden showing post mortem markings from various "stress postion" interrogation techniques

"While this administration does not condone torture of any type," stated Bush, "this evil killer seems to have gotten what he deserved... the Lord, or Allah works in mischievous ways. This just further illustrates the need for Congress to whip into shape and pass this administration's anti-terror legislation. Who knows what kind of useful information we could have gotten from him if his interrogation had been done right."

Bush brushed off questions of the announcement as being an anticipated "October Surprise" for the coming elections. "Well, he didn't really last until October, now did he?" Bush quipped with reporters, "We finally got number one, and we're looking forward to the next one... bring 'em on."

The administration refused to answer questions as to how long Bin Laden had been in the custody of the unnamed foreign security agency, or what, if any information, Bin Laden had given up, citing security concerns.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



eniranjanrao wrote:

well if he is really dead he got what he deserved i like freedom and have it and would like any anyone who don't dead.
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Thatshiftyguy wrote:

Bullshit, sorry, this is Photoshopped.
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Trin wrote:

"Bullshit, sorry, this is Photoshopped. "

Agreed. this is the ONLY site on the web stating this.
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KIll wrote:

where's his another men who used to follow him....................................
LOL LOL

it can be him in future
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Tim wrote:

you guys do realize this is a comedy/satire site, don't you?
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Thisshiftyguy wrote:

I also think is photoshopeped. look at the tone of the skin in the nose and look how it goes to the forehead. Also n otice how the beard and his skin looks blrurry. Wait I just noticed what is this... The photo on the back is a dead guy (poor guy) then a photo of Osama is put on top. Osama is from the left part of the beard, goes down to the right keeping the beard then goes up to the nose, continues down keeping the beard and finishes on the right top part of the beard. Photoshop purely.
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Ben wrote:

that is full of s..t those fotos look totaly bogus and besides many other sources say he possibly died of typhoid in August...?
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US gov. wrote:

I would not be suprised if this site is taken down.
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puff daddy wrote:

i agree with trin..fffuck this website is irritating for making up stuff..damn i want himtortured before he dies tht SOB.
---redneck rob.
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mary ramirez wrote:

i cant believe this. i swear to god i dreamed this last night. oh my god. you know what else i dreamed? i dreamed next year sept 11 is going to happen all over again. at the un security building in NY. once at the top and once at the bottom. knock on wood. i hope it doesnt happen.
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Will Perring wrote:

people, come on! can you not read

"Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious."

it's there, in black and white, right below "rate this item"
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USAMA BED LINEN wrote:

lol you morons, its a satirical site
all the stories on here are made up for our amusement

now go stand in the corner
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Geoge Bush wrote:

This will not happen to Sheik Osama. I pray in the name of Allah the beneficient and the merciful. Happy Ramadan to all muslim.
This is Bush-America's wish in conjuction with Pope of the Vatican.
Ma-salam
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TMX wrote:

This site is linked to from Google News! Not a good thing...
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enkay wrote:

that picture is so fake its not even funny
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Commie leftie turd wrote:

ha ha google news has linked this as a legitimate news article. stoopid americans.
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Anks wrote:

Geez.......... what the heck!! Osama died year ago, when he refused to pay me for the fag!! fag
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leo wrote:

hmm if wolfowitz hadn't wasted 130,000 troops in iraq you would have to him 3 years ago
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el ejromeo wrote:

Ok, to everyone arguing about whether this is fake or not: go to google and type define: satire After that, type define: dumbass
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nitin rathi wrote:

accha hua saala mar gaya!!!
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Afghan wrote:

Im Osama bin laden , im not dead assholes ahahahahaha lol
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afgan wrote:

If you wanna Talk call me at 1800-Pimpim-aint-easy
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BRANDON wrote:

YEAH RIGHT!THAT NIGGER AINT DEAD YET
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John E wrote:

Satire it may be, but it still isnt funny. That's also one of the most terrible photoshop jobs I've ever seen. Unfortunately, humor takes a little more creativity than news reporting.
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rudedawg wrote:

that bitch aint dead
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Sexiest-Celebrities.com wrote:

This is a terrible photoshop job. Notice the various areas of the photo that are in focus versus those areas of equal distance are out of focus. This site should be ashamed of willfully and knowingly spreading false information.
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ch wrote:

God works in Mysterious ways. NOT Mischievous ways. Read the article next to OBL dead picture. I'm pretty sure Pres. Bush knows the correct scripture.
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spider man wrote:

i can shoot webs
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Superman wrote:

i can lift buildings up and squish spiderman and osama at the same time muhahahah dum asses...lol and stupid asses who ever made did the photoshop job...the colours dont even match rofl
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k35 wrote:

thi is good but Bush is dead
i'm K35 from Kosovo
i am chef for Revulotion Anti Police
i live in *******
bush and Binladen they are best friends
fuch you Bush and Binladen

health children in irak
_______________________________


randomized wrote:

Yes, perhaps you people should read this sites very own disclamer. http://www.unconfirmedsourc...
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osama bin laden wrote:

DEATH TO BIN LADEN im a muslim but that bastard killed inocent people i hope he burns in hell,
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chuck wrote:

Jesus, now I know why we're losing the War on Terror
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K35 wrote:

hey you osama bin laden i know you are muslim but i know very well ,osama bin laden is your god, of course.......
fuck you osama ende fuck you bush
you are children for me ok
listen to me !!!! listen to me
fuck you terror.......
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>>>>>>>>>>>>K35
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K35 wrote:

can you understand me Osama
oohhh yok you are Muslishit ahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahhaah
oSAMA IS masacra ahahhahahahahahah
Bravo Bravo filea deputane
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K35 wrote:

Uh, uh, some deep shit, uh, uh

Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you
said

You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave

Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound

Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says
its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love
you, too

I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my
family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave

In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes
naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her
last name

In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally

In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do
anything)
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
Let's play pretend act and like it comes so
naturally
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave)
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave)

Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that the night you left you took my
shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone

Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
_______________________________


K35 wrote:

hahahahahaha
_______________________________


K35 wrote:

18 Wheeler - Pink
Anything right - Pink
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Catch me while i'm sleeping - Pink
Catch-22 - Pink
Dear diary - Pink
Delirium - Pink
Do what you do - Pink
Don't let me get me - Pink
Eventually - Pink
Family Portrait - Pink
Feel good time - Pink
Free - Pink
Get the party started - Pink
God is a dj - Pink
Golden angel - Pink
Gone to California - Pink
Harzard to myself - Pink
Hell wit ya - Pink
Hiccup - Pink
Hooker - Pink
Humble neighborhoods - Pink
Is it love - Pink
Just like a pill - Pink
Lady marmalade - Pink
Lady marmalade (real version) - Pink
Last to know - Pink
Leaving for the last time - Pink
Let me get me - Pink
Let me let you know - Pink
Living in my world - Pink
Lonely girl - Pink
Love is such a crazy thing - Pink
Love song - Pink
Misery - Pink
Missundaztood - Pink
Most girls - Pink
My Vietnam - Pink
Numb - Pink
Oh my god - Pink
Play how you want - Pink
Pretty girl - Pink
Private show - Pink
Respect - Pink
Save my life - Pink
Split personality - Pink
Stop falling - Pink
The last to know - Pink
There u go - Pink
Tonight's the night - Pink
Trouble - Pink
Try too hard - Pink
Unwind - Pink
Waiting for love - Pink
Walk away - Pink
Was it worth it - Pink
You make me sick - Pink

Wszelkie prawa zastrzeż
_______________________________


K35 wrote:

Hot Pictures
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SexyHumour Sinn-Frei.com

All Sites
_______________________________


freyyr890 wrote:

Yeah, this is satire. Google should consier stopping indexing this.

Oh, and K35, you can go to hell.
_______________________________


JohnD wrote:

I am alarmed and very afraid that some of my fellow Americans writing into this site and debating wether Mr. O is "dead" or not...
I hope you don't work as flight controllers or screeners at airports.

"The stupidity of the American public should never be underestimated"-HL Mencken US Newspaper Editor 1900's.

Thanks for posting the "news" maybe now the Bushbots will have to go to plan be for November, you do realize they always have a Plan B, C, D,ect.?
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red neck vampier wrote:

tht pic is one of themost stupid things ive ever seen he aint dead yet its is just a decoy so he can strikewhen we are down if u belive tht then u might awswell belive ime george.w.bush
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sheikh faysal wrote:

you people dont feel happy if osama bin ladan is died there are hundreds of osama in pipe line u cant defeat alqaeda by killing osama bin ladan alqaeda is forever untill this world destroy and day of judgment is come.
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tim wrote:

What i dont get, is why did the presdent not say that they had him in custody, and just say he wasent naming whom, or were they had him. Just a bunch of bull. And who is number 2? is the "president of the United States" planning another atack on his own people? oh well, its all about money, is it not?
_______________________________


ogro wrote:

fuck all bush family better no come back to mexico hijo de puta
_______________________________


ogro wrote:

son of bitch bush hes family and all the people who hate mexican s
_______________________________


Death wrote:

kill osama and all terrorist then kill the french and the british then the north koreans and communist chinese then finish off with mexico and canada.
_______________________________


ghtyg wrote:

fck u americans bullshit you cant catch bin laden . Bush this will be u one day you motherfucker ill blow u up like a bush.
_______________________________


Bad Boy wrote:

ITS A WONDER THAT NO GOOD SONOFBITCH BUSH REALLY WROTE THIS BULLSHIT AND TRIED TO GET PEOPLE TO BELIVE IT.
_______________________________


vice pres.cheney wrote:

bush is still giving free head if anybody wants some contact the whitehouse at 555-ou81-2
_______________________________


yeh u know me wrote:

wtf is going on... if bin laden was supposed to of died from health problems them why the fuck has he got cuts and bruises on his face.. :S i think that picture is a scam and websites like this are a waste of time!
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