giving homosexuality a thought

By Mwende Mwinzi (The Nation)

May 23, 2005: Nairobi - Sometimes, even in the absence of evidence, many women can sense a "threat" from miles away. Other times, it stands right before them - sweetly scented and packaged in a tight-clad skirt designed to show off gluts and long legs. Notwithstanding this, the news on infidelity still bears shock - devastation realised from the loss of marital sanctity.

But what if that person - the subject of this affection, is of the same gender? Would these feelings of betrayal be worse or could they possibly be neutralised by this fact? Given that responses vary by individual, it's hard to say but I'll reveal this much; not too long ago as my spouse and I danced the night away at a popular Westlands club, I wondered what I would do if confronted with the same.

Our choice of club was exciting and just perfect for a couple eager to dance. The only thing was, as we would later find out, this place was like the old Pop-In restaurant - a rendezvous for men wishing to meet other men for companionship or sex. But so focused was I on the music, that I didn't quite see it - at least not immediately. And then, just like that, my "gaydar" awoke and I saw it. How could I have missed it? All the while I was shaking it, many around me preferred watching him - my spouse, shake his! Did he notice it at all and if so was he secretly flattered by this attention or worse, aroused by it?

The term "down low" or "DL" for short, is something we've all heard of by now. It is the descriptive term used for minority males with hidden homosexual tendencies. These individuals, it is said, lead double lives in which they pose as regular heterosexuals in public and then when no one is looking, live vibrant homosexual lives. Some do it for money. Others - like heterosexuals - act on it out of what they consider a natural drive. And mimicking some of our traditional set-ups, some of these individuals take it a step further by engaging Mkungus (older mentors) to provide them theoretical and practical training on how to please a partner and handle a "marriage".

Sounds familiar? It should. Because it demonstrates that whether or not we agree with them, homosexuals only differ from us by sexual orientation. We are the same in our need for companionship, communion and love.

Homosexuality is probably the foremost thing that heterosexuals don't understand yet interestingly, find necessary to judge. With the church classifying it as immorality of the highest order, it remains something to detest and avoid. And considered shameful by a country conservative in its attitudes towards all aspects of sexual behaviour, it yields a discomfort. But absent harm to others, is it right for us to judge, condemn or discriminate against people for something we don't fully comprehend and would that position change if the "afflicted" person happened to be our son, brother or father? They are.

Even to those who consider it deviant, Kenya's criminalisation of homosexuality seems extreme. Could it not be argued that it's this kind of attitude forcing our homosexuals to lead both secret and "normal" lives therein exposing their spouses to dangers such as HIV? It is a known fact that such individuals seldom practise safe sex at home for fear of arousing spousal suspicion particularly when procreation is expected.

Varied as our positions may be on this, we should reach a consensus on the need for increased tolerance of difference. Once considered a myth in society, the homosexual community now exists in growing numbers, openness and increasing strength. We can seek an understanding of the social and psychological reasons behind such behaviour, decriminalise it and develop programmes that reduce HIV transmission between men or keep it as it is - criminal, discriminatory and potentially deadly.

Either way, we need to recognise that our quest to preserve culture, values, religion and tradition is at best hypocritical for its selectiveness. Hasn't our cultural evolution necessitated a re-examination of polygamy and Female Genital Mutilation and aren't we the same ones accommodating open prostitution?

As it is our duty to protect our morality, so is it our obligation to protect society against legislation based purely on non-harmful "offences" founded on opinion. Laws, as we've seen, can be revised to suit sociopolitical agendas. So isn't it time we did away with archaic legislation that enslaves individuals on the basis of others' conscience? It would not be promoting homosexuality but rather the human rights to which we are each entitled.