gay couples seek equal treatment

By Stephanie Saville

August 7, 2006: Gays just wanted to be treated equally and were not asking for "special" treatment, a workshop on same-sex marriages, hosted by the University of KwaZulu-Natal's Unilever Ethics Centre, was told at the weekend.

A gay couple who attended the workshop, Tirone Nel and Justin Unwin, both 25-year-old information technology professionals, said that, although their union had been blessed in a ceremony under the auspices of the Deo Gloria Family Church in Durban, they were eagerly awaiting a law that would allow them to be legally married.

"All we are asking for is equality, not special treatment," said Nel.

"What is important in terms of marriage is love and monogamy. We are not trying to take anything away from family or Christian values."

Unwin said he found it insulting that people would say same-sex marriage represented an attempt "to rip apart the fabric of society and hetero-sexual marriage".

"People need to learn more tolerance. When some people are challenged on the traditions associated with marriage, they feel insecure and sometimes lash out. For us, the new way of thinking about marriage should be in terms of equality, dignity and freedom," said Unwin.

This view was shared by many participants at the workshop, which was held on Friday.

Attended by ethicists, academics, members of various religious and cultural groups and the gay community, the workshop featured debate in an open, frank and often lively manner.

Prof Martin Prozesky, Director of the Unilever Centre, said the same-sex marriage issue had long-term implications for South African society, and that it remained potentially divisive.

He said the workshop had provided a platform for speakers from different groups to put forward their ideas with the aim of identifying a core of shared values. Views gleaned from speakers at the workshop would be drafted into a paper to inform parliament ahead of its decision on same-sex marriage, in line with a Constitutional Court ruling on the matter.

A decision in this regard is expected in December.

Nel and Unwin said that if the law enabled them to legalise their union, they would be "at the front of the line". They said that their families fully supported their "marriage", which took place on September 25 last year.