Additional stories.

Mike Wimbish nets $19 out of $853.

ONE 19 months ago my son and I were ripped apart by the feminazis/Gestapo-like witch-hunters at the Child "Protective" Services here in Ventura COunty, CA. Since then I have spent $30,000+ to merely right the mistaken idea that I molested my own son, which he and I have vehemently denied from the get-go. I have filed bankruptcy as a result of this - this, from having owned three homes in my life. My ex, who has been described as having "paranoid ideations", is somewhat of a lunatic, though probably not certifiable. All she had to do was say it happened, and my son and I have had to pay for his little peccadillo. There was a law signed by our governor in August, leveling a removal-of-custody from a parent who falsely accuses another of abuse. I don't know if it's retroactive or not, but when it comes into law on january 1 you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to be on it like ugly on an ape. I was judged guilty from the beginning even though there were gaping holes in the prossecutions stories. I was not allowed to even talk with my son on the phone for 10 months, not see him for one (and then under constant supervision), and forced to pay over $600/month in support monies to (obviously) my ex on an income of $1800/month. If any of this is helpful, so be it. If you need any more help, except monetarily, please let me know. Good, good luck in your endeavors.

TWO My nine year old son from my previous girl friend has been in the custody of his mother 99% of the time since she left California for Ohio and Oklahoma, in spite of 87 trips to the courthouse, 17 lawyers, more than one hundred thousand dollars in legal and court costs, and 37 round trips to pick up my son for "visitation". All of this effort has resulted in my bringing him back with me only 4 times. "Visitation" per the court order was supposed to be 12 weeks this summer, and after many round trips to lawyers' offices, court, and Oklahoma the actual length of his visit to California was trimmed to 9 days. His mother is in clear violation of the court order - but has the court heeded my requests that she either give me custody of my son or go to jail? No! And all this time I am paying $600 out of my $1400 per month in Army retirement pay, which I receive as the result of my being wounded in combat in Viet Nam. I was threatened with jail time because of a $37 error by the district attorney's office which could not be easily cleared up so I had to pay this $37 twice in order to avoid jail. Numerous lawyers have promised numerous results - a warrant for her arrest for violating the court order that I have my son for 16 weeks, enforcement of the visitation order we agreed upon, change of custody from his mother to me, change of jurisdiction from Oklahoma to California - but not a single one of these promises have been kept. To prevent my having custody his mother falsely accused me of sexually molesting him. During the investigation it was determined that he was sexually molested, but that the molester was her brother and not me. Even though I was cleared of charges brought by his mother, and even though it was proven that the molest took place while he was in her care - custody was still awared to her and it was still denied to me. My concern is not that I am a wounded Viet Nam veteran who deserves special treatment because of my service to my country, but that the legal system has consistently acted in the worst interests of my only son, not to mention at my own worst interests and at the highest legal expenses. It is clear that every court decision leads to ever-increasing legal fees above the ones which have already bankrupted me, while my son goes deeper and deeper into a moral crevasse. The rare occasions on which he is able to visit me are the light of my life, and he shines like a star when we are together. Yet just as soon as we get reacquainted, he must leave. I would gladly spend MORE than $600 per month for my son if it was to his benefit, but the $600 I send to his mother is NOT spent on him - it is wasted on frivolous expenditures for herself or to KEEP my son away from me. In fact this is the reason I was able to see him only 9 days this summer - she sent him to a camp which I knew nothing about during the time he was supposed to be with me, and paid for it out of the money I sent her. The best interests of this 9 year old son would be best served by abolishing this immature legal system completely. It has served absolutely no useful purpose for either me or my son.

THREE Just a "tip of the iceberg" example: (verbatim from Dr. Diamond eval) (From page 8) Tatiana is a small, blond, little girl who was highly cooperative in the testing but not very verbal. Upon meeting her in the waiting room, she immediately stated "tell Daddy to stop spanking me". This was prompted by her mother and it was very clear that Mrs. Oliver had carefully programmed this into her daughter. Mrs. Oliver also offered me a tape recording of Tatiana asking her to stop her father from hitting her and to tell him "to his mad face". Tatiana stated this numerous times throughout the session without any comprehension and without any depth of feeling. (End verbatim quote) This entire case scenario is a classic example of gender-bias within Family Law. Could someone contact me? It would be greatly appreciated!

FOUR Since when can a County court-at-law judge knowingly violate the Federal Immigration Laws? How can the so-called "Tender Years" doctrine be enforced when the father is the more capable parent by a preponderance of the evidence? Can the courts be liable for sex discrimination in their judgments? The details follow: I married a Mexican citizen and brought her to this country, along with a minor child born in Mexico to me, an American citizen. A second child was born here in Texas. The mother falsely accused me a child abuse and her and the children were removed from the home by the then Child and Family Protective Services division of the Texas Department of Human Services. During the investigation, my ex-wife was seen sexually abusing the children, was arrested and placed in jail. The children were placed into foster care. No consideration was given me even though the investigation totally exonerated me from any wrongdoing. When the children were returned to the family, the court returned the baby to my ex-wife, and several months later returned the older child, also to her. The Assistant District Attorney had declined to prosecute my ex-wife, and I have been unable to convince him otherwise, even though her psychological examination(s) and other data indicate that she has abusive characteristics. The Assistant DA was later arrested and jailed for Sexual Misconduct himself in San Antonio for an act that he had perpetrated in a public park with another male. This was the first indication of impropriety in this case. He was removed form office and nothing more will be heard on the case. His name is John Costello. Mr. Costello also successfully quahed the subpoenas of persons who knew of these acts regarding my ex-wife. The witnesses later disappeared from this area and their whereabouts are now unknown. After the investigation, a CPS worker by the name of Mary Toms took me aside and blatantly told me that if I did not file for divorce that "I would never see or have custody of my children." I filed for divorce and it was finalized in August of 1994. CPS showed up during the hearings and without any hesitation stated their recommendation for the children to be returned to the mother. Three Hays County judges recused themselves from this case. A visiting judge was brought in from San Antonio and made a decision contrary to the petitions without hearing me, the petitioner. On May 8, 1995, my ex-wife left the country. She was in Mexico for more than thirty days. A Writ of Habeus Corpus was filed Ex-parte on June 21. A hearing was held on June 30 and the children were again returned to her. The judge (Hays County Court-at-law Linda Rodriguez) was advised that my ex-wife is here illegally and is arranging a sham marriage to maintain her visitation here. She was also advised of the reasons for my wanting custody and my ability to do so at this time. My ex-wife is not educated beyond third grade, cannot read or write, speaks no English, has no income other than Section 8 HUD housing, AFDC, Food Stamps and more, while I neither demand nor need help. I am a full-time college student within a few hours of graduation. I have a job lined up upon graduation and have a wholesome, healthy and nurturing home for the children. I feel that I, and many, many other men have been blatantly and deliberately discriminated against in cases like this. I cannot afford an attorney, Legal Aid cannot and will not help, Texas Fathers for Equal Rights cannot represent me in court and most lawyers wants $15,000 with 10% retainers to even talk to me. In the meantime, my ex-wife has a court appointed attorney working for her for $1.00. This attorney does not speak Spanish and much of what has been said is untrue and biased by the translators. The Judge in the last hearing also told the translator to say precisely what was said, (the judge speaks Spanish) and still the translator persisted in saying her opinion rather than the words of my ex-wife. I realize that as investigators you cannot look at just one case, but at many. I feel that I am justified in my asking you to do a news investigation regarding this trend in Texas and nationwide. All of the records concerning my case are in San Marcos, cause number 92-0262 and are public record. You may use them as you see fit. I also have 1200 plus pages of the CPS records showing all details of this case for the last three years. I will also provide you with any and all other cooperation, as will thousands of other unhappy Texas fathers. I am sure that there are sufficient persons interested in these affairs to begin an expose on the behalf of fathers thoughout your viewing area. Please do something, even if only to satisfy the curiosity of your viewing audience. I ask this in full faith of your capabilities. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

FIVE I agree, something has to be done. One would think a class action suit claiming discrimination would be one way to go. Where does the equal rights amendment fit in here? Does it only apply to minority groups? If that is the case, only men with custody would qualify since they are certainly a minority. Perhaps the ACLU would be a good place to start. As yu can see, I have no answers, only more questions. I have been thinking abou this since the day I was removed from my life for no REAL reason other than the vindictiveness of my wife. If there is an attorney listening that specializes in constitutional law, I would love to hear his thoughts on suing the state of Florida. Florida is one of the worst places for a man to get a divorce. Sure, they have laws that claim both parents be given equal consideration in custody issues, but the simple truth is that women win custody at least 90% of the time. I think I'm rambling here so I'll hang up now.

SIX Men indeed need the support of the courts. I am not an expert in any means, but I've been around a while. It would appear to me that the Internet and all of the other services have the greatest concentration of intelligent men in several of the same positions. 1) Those that can, should DELUGE their Senators and Congressmen with letters and FAXES, lobby when you can, 2) require Judges to recuse themselves because of prejudicial judgements based on prior cases (yours or those in your knowledge) [All divorce and custody records are public. Look at the dockets of preceding weeks, months, or years, then see which judges made discriminatory judgements. Use these to support your Demand for Recusal], 3) and most importantly DOCUMENT everything. Later publish it in a public forum, [in a non-libelous or non-scandalous manner] the true happenings in the courts. Name Judges, lawyers, everyone. Tell the entire story to as many who will listen or read. 4) Write to and/or FAX to the TV stations. [In Austin Texas at the moment is a ratings war. Two of the Texas Stations are KEYE 42 (CBS) whose e-mail is KEYE42@aol.com, and KVUE 24 with e-mail at news@kvue.com] I am also seeking to organize. We must do something. I am tired of being discriminated against by the courts with no reason against except for gender. I am fighting mad! I am sure that if we UNITE like you stated, we can overcome.

SEVEN >I'm a father of three and a computer/networking consultant with my own >business (for some 18 years now) > >After my last court "battle" I've been ordered to pay over 75% of my >total takehome pay to support my kids - which doesn't leave me enough >money to support *myself* in a very modest apartment. According to >Colorado law - this is totally legal. > >It's time to change these laws. I do NOT advocate non-payment of >support to kids. I do, however, expect the amounts to be justifiable >and reasonable. > >I've spent most of the last month searching web sites and newsgroups >looking for some answers. All I've found are angry people and some >state groups doing their "state" thing supporting fathers and mothers >rights. It's time to take some of these issues national. I plan to do >just that, using the internet as the "vehicle." > >I'm in the process of building a group of rational people that are >willing to join me in taking these issues to Washington. I'm looking >for men/women/children/lawyers and of course, sympathetic elected >goverment leaders! If you know of web sites, newsgroups etc where I >can continue my search for members - let me know. I won't quit until >the group is thousands strong with members in every state - and we can >make an impact on a national basis.

EIGHT I think your idea of gathering stories is great! Nothing makes as much of an impression as an individual's story. My situation is that the divorce is still in progress, so my story is not yet ready. When a settlement is finally reached (or imposed) I'll let you know if it seems to be useful. In the mean time, I am working on an alternative wording of a manifesto. This week has been a bit busy.

NINE August 16, 1995 The Honorable Don Rogers Capitol Building #5052 Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Senator Rogers:

I am asking your assistance on behalf of a number of your constituents who were falsely convicted and imprisoned in l984. I assume you have some knowledge about the l984 Bakersfield sex-ring cases -- the precursor trials to McMartin and other ritual abuse cases which swept the nation in the 1980's and early 90's. These cases were part of a national hysteria which resulted in hundreds of false convictions for events which never happened. Across the country we are seeing, one by one, the reversal of these cases (Kelly Michaels, NJ, Bob Kelly, Dawn Wilson, NC, Felix & Ontiveros, NV,etc.).

As background to my expertise on this issue, I served as Deputy Foreman of the San Diego County Grand Jury which investigated problems in the area of child abuse allegations. Since 1992, I have testified frequently before the California State Legislature. I have appended testimony I gave before the U.S. Congress and the U.S. Senate this year. In particular, I ask that you note the last section of the Senate testimony which deals with Redress, and the appendix, Child Sexual Abuse Cases with Compelling Evidence of False Charges and Convictions 1983-1995.

Relevant to the Bakersfield cases: in 1989 The Supreme Court of California overturned the convictions of several defendants in People v. Stoll, (49 Cal.3d 1136; 265 Cal.Rptr. 111); in 1990 the convictions of Ricky Lyn Pitts et al were overturned (223 Cal. App.3d 606; 273 Cal.Rptr. 757). Last week the 100 year sentence of Donna Sue Hubbard was overturned by the 5th District Court of Appeals. I have included newspaper coverage of this. Donna Sue has not been released on bail despite having already served 13 years and a scathing decision from the Justices of the 5th District. Furthermore, there are still seven other imprisoned persons involved in these cases. Some are awaiting the results of their appeals; others have exhausted their financial resources to appeal.

Scott and Brenda Kniffen were sentenced to 240 years apiece after their own children were badgered and frightened into testifying against them in a case that makes the Spanish Inquisition look honorable. Their sons Brandon and Brian have recently recanted their accusations of sexual molestation against their parents, telling how the social workers, police, and prosecutors programmed their testimony, promising them that they could go home with their parents if they repeated the prosecutor's lies. I have included a short summary of their particular case.

All of these convictions ultimately will be overturned because of the current state of knowledge about how these cases occurred and the recantations by adult children desperate to release the adults they falsely convicted. Nonetheless, it took ten years of tireless effort by an appellate attorney and countless years of pro-bono work by others to achieve these results. As the public learns more by media exposure to the witchhunt mentality which led to these cases, there is an increasing public outcry. Already we can see the effects in public unwillingness to believe even some well-founded allegations of molest.

The Republicans, both in California and at the national level, have been in the forefront putting safeguards into the system to asssure that cases like this could never again occur. That is good. It is not enough. As the State Senator from the district which falsely convicted these individuals, I am asking that you help lead a concerted effort to expedite their release. I have provided copious documents for you to read. It would be easy to just say, "let the courts do it". Meanwhile, these people are dying in prison, their children have grown up without parents, their parents have died unable to see their children free. It is a monumental tragedy which our children and grandchildren will one day study in the history books as we studied the Salem Witch Trials. Now is still the time for heroes to come forth. Soon there will only be time to climb aboard the bandwagon decrying the tragedy.

Sincerely,

Carol L. Hopkins

TEN From:Mark Charalambous (NE) Coalition for the Preservation of Fatherhood planned on having at least three protest rallies this year (in Mass.). We wanted one on CS, one on custody, and one on domestic violence/restraining order abuse.

BTW: Today, off to meet with the Assistanat Attorney General and the Chief of the Investigative Unit of the AG' office regarding egregious miscarriage of justice that happened here. Man from Georgia had custody via dovorce decree. Ex took kid to Mass, got arestraining order against father (which grants custody of minor children via a checkbox on the form!). When father came to Mass. to get the kid, he was put in jail for violating the order. Criminal improprieties -- falsifying interstate alias index records, etc, ketp him in jail for 200 days. He finally, after getting out and incredible persistance, got a judge to recognize the Georgia decree. He got his kid back. Too much detail to list, but he here today seeking criminal prosecution of the police officer that falsified documents, and others that conspired to falsely imprison him.

ELEVEN The divorce process began when my 5 year old daughter innocently looked up to me with her beautiful blue eyes and said "Me and mommy and another man went to a motel last night and we all spent the night in the same bed together". It turned out to be true, as it was certain she had no concept of how to lie at that age or of what the consequences were of her statement. Divorce papers, restraining orders, "visitation" orders, depositions of both friends and acquaintances, investigations of my private affairs and businesses, reports to al tax collection agencies (which seem to be common practice in a divorce now) all took center stage and restricted my influence in her life more and more as the abyss referred to euphimistically as the "justice system"got deeper and deeper. Two "ex parte hearings" were held to "request" the court to allow my own daughter spend more time with me, not just to see her, but because any normal father would have a big concern about his 5 year old daughter sleeping in the same motel bed as her mother and another man, and about a court system which did not seem to believe there was any problem with that. The concern was not about any physical act but because of possible psychological problems this could cause in a 5 year old girl. Twice the female judge rejected the motion, outwardly stating that she saw nothing wrong, and explaining that a hearing would have to be scheduled - which would take at least 90 days. This should have been the wake up call that the court did not have as much concern for a 5 year old girl as her father did. It also led to the discovery that this is a nationwide phenomenon. After a very anxious and sleepless 90 days the hearing was supposed to take place, but upon arrival in court the judge said "we [mysteriously] set it aside - you are going to have to schedule another hearing", another 90 days later. The violent emotions of the divorce, the battle over money and property, the systematic destruction of my business, the loss of reputation with both friends and business clients, the placement of my beautiful and lovely only daughter in harms way, the continually reduced time I was "allowed" to see her, the callous disregard by the court for what was clearly a bad situation for her, and yet another delay in the court's taking action, all taken together, left no options for a father whose ONLY concern was the welfare of his only 5 year old little girl. We left for the northern part of the state where I had purchased another home. This was the best 45 days of my life. We had a chance to be together without the influence of her mother for the first time ever, and it was a surprise to discover how nice that was! That was 4 years ago and I have not seen nor spoken one word to my daughter since. The "justice System" has since then put me though absolute hell in its zeal to patch up its own failings. I, the proud father, an alumna of one of the only 2 remaining military schools with an intact honor code, a US Air Force Captain at age 22, a veteran of Viet Nam, president of my own company, private pilot, black belt karate expert, first place racquetball champion, MS Engineering, having represented my country with honor in travels to 72 countries around the world, and having lived in 24 of them as the son of an Army Colonel, am now in the eyes of the United States of America -- a "convicted felon". And the "crime" - absolutely nothing more and absolutely nothing less than trying to be something to my own daughter that she does not have now - A FATHER! This government has done everything in its power to destroy that concept. This is the heart and soul of this nation -- and it is a corrupted nation. A list of all of the things that this "country" has done for men, fathers, and families is VERY short, with national defense being the only visible "benefit". This nation's governments spend 42 cents out of every dollar earned by its male workers, yet national defense costs only 4 cents. WHAT HAPPENS TO THE OTHER THIRTY EIGHT (38) CENTS? The answer is that a very, very large part of it is used to take our children away from us! Virtually every other penny taken from each of those dollars earned by those hard-working US male citizens, who pay the vast majority of those taxes, goes into programs designed weaken the role of the father and to destroy the family. This "justice system" serves no useful function in families. It only destroys them. And this must end.
 
 

TWELVE I am constanly amazed at the illogic applied to our children's welfare. Existing Legislation takes a non-custodial parent (men and women), strips them of their children and all associated God-given rights then demands that that parent pay (financially & emotionally) for this isolation. In Tennessee the attitude is still predominately if you have a womb you are the best parent and entitled, by gender, to control the children God gave to both (repeat BOTH) parents. I am sure Tennessee is not the only state in which this attitude exists. Those of us (and there are many - growing daily) who have endured this and similar misjustice, humiliation, and degradation must consolidate into a viable voice in our nation. Our voice must shout day-after-day-after-day-after-day to our elected representatives " I love my children and want to be respected as more than a monthly payment. I am not a 'vistor'. I am a parent and am entitled to no less than any parent regardless of my martial status. When society recognizes 'support' as more than monetary, 'arrearages' will inherently be reduced". The Society for the Preservation of Family Relationships has taken on the mission. Right now we are a very small but dedicated group of parents seeking legislation that encourages the rights of children to have open, unhendered access to both parents, regardless of marital status. Our primary focus is to educate the public and legislators that except in the "conventional" marriage arrangement, parents are driven from responsible parenting roles, to the detriment of our nations youth. There is no greater evil in our nation than the allowing the legal system to become a surrogate parent. It must be stopped. Parentless/Fatherless children are the future of our country and the legal system encourages, sometimes forces, this upon many of us who otherwise are responsible,loving,caring parents. Implementing change to a system that is so deeply imbedded in society as the norm is no easy task. We are seeking help. If you have email addresses of legislators and decision makers that can affect change, please forward them to me. If you have documents displaying the negative repercussions of the laws, forward them to me. If you have the capability, desire, expertise, and/or contacts needed to implement change, let me know. Any suggestions? Can you help?

THIRTEEN My SO has a terrible, evil ex-wife who took sole custody of their 6 year old disabled son and 20% of his meager income and still won't stop bashing him. This past weekend at the Philadelphia Folk Festival we spotted her and the child in the crowd and she refused to allow my SO to have the child for a visit while at the event, even though a few weeks earlier she was sore because he hadn't wanted, for reasons owing to the disability, to take the child camping there for the whole weekend. She denied him visitation rights there in front of the kid! On a weekend which was originally a dad-visitation weekend to begin with! It was heartbreaking. I am all for any concerted effort to change the tide which separates dads and kids, but what's the use of wasting all this time and energy on quibbling amongst each other?

FOURTEEN Met Sara Jayne Snyder, M.D. in a bar 10/16/81. Married her 1/28/82 in Manhattan City Hall. Maxine born 1/17/85, Audrey born 2/25/87. In March 1992, after about 2 years of intense screaming, I told her that I did not want to have sex with her until she agreed to counseling. My next mistake was refusing to sign a separation agreement which gave Jayne sole custody of the girls. I was extremely close to both kids because Jayne had worked 8 PM - 8 AM, 4 nights a week, since 1988, and I stayed with them. Jayne was angry so she charged me with raping Maxine while Audrey watched. I got even angrier and wrote about 300 letters complaining about this. Although her friend Joan was cited for improper interviewing techniques, Jayne herself performed Maxine's forensics, and Audrey's therapist "validated" it, the DA declined to prosecute. The exact charge was repeated two more times, and I was also charged with molesting Audrey once. The last charge was deemed to be so incredible that a "real" validation was ordered. Validator said that Jayne should quit charging me with rape, and that we should get out of court altogether. Judge and GAL promptly "lost" this report, but Assemblyman Feldman "found" it for me. I've also been charged with non-sexual stuff like "demanding a cup of coffee and to use the bathroom", and simply calling Jayne up to say that I was going to pickup the girls. I am currently facing six months in jail for allegedly telling my own lawyer that I would put a bomb in Jayne's car if she refused to let us be examined by a certain psychiatrist. Our Judge, William P. Warren, and Law Guardian, Jacqueline Sands, inspired a demonstration in 1992, and I think there she be another. I have 2 newspaper articles about them on my Web page. -- Mitchell D. Miller --- mdm@ocsny.com --- http://www.ocsny.com/~mdm/ Old picture of kids

FIFTEEN It has come to my attention that HR1855 is making it's way through subcommittee. As a fellow conservative Republican, I ask that you stop this wrongful bill. Every parent, both mother and father, have a right to be fully involved in a child's life. The allegations of abuse made by Elizabeth Morgan were never proved. Instead of dropping this case, she continued illegally to take matters into her own hands. She should never have been released from jail, and her actions should not be sanctioned by your subcommittee, nor the House as a whole. For four years, my daughter was deprived of her father, as her mother ran with her. I got her back, after years of neglect. In the past 18 months that I have had custody of her, I have had to bring her up 4 YEARS by developmental standards. In my case, not only by being involved in my daughter's life, did she have a father, but she also had a second parent who was ready, able, and willing to get involved in her life when one parent was not. Young Hilary Foretich deserves this too. Please, we all hear of the need to fight "political correctness" and reverse discrimination. The cause of father's rights is one of those beleaguered causes. Help us strike a blow for equality. Attached to this e-mail is a letter descibing this story in more detail. STOP HR 1855!!! Elizabeth Morgan Bill (US House File 1855) Elizabeth Morgan, you may remember, falsely accused her husband Eric Foretich of sexual abuse of their daughter, Hilary Foretich. During the custody battle spanning several years in the 1980's, Morgan accused Foretich and then his family of horrific abuse. Medical evidence was inconclusive, and her claims were never proved in court. She sent Hillary into hiding seven years ago rather than deliver the child for court- ordered visits with her father. She spent 2 years in jail for contempt of court, but was finally released by an Act of Congress. Congressman Tom Davis (R) of Virginia has sponsored a bill (HR1855) to grant Elizabeth Morgan immunity and forbid the father from seeking contact with the child. The bill has been referred to Davis' Committee, Committee for government Reform and Oversight, Subcommittee for the District of Columbia. WRITE TO CONGRESSMAN DAVIS AND HIS SUBCOMMITTEE opposing any such special dispensation for a person who wantonly flaunts the laws of the U.S. and New Zealand, just because she does not want the child to have a relationship with the father.

SIXTEEN In 1982 my ex took off with our 11 month old daughter. I was in the hospital having surgery. When I got out of the hospital aweek later. I came home to an empty apartment and checking account. She left my clothes and my tools. She took everything else hers/mine/ours. She ran up a $400 phone bill. She sold my car. Her family lied and evaded about her wherabouts. She told people that I had been cheating on her and that was her reason for leaving. I didn't have time to cheat on her. I loved her. I was working 2 jobs and going to night school. I put her through business college. I spent 2 years looking for her and our child. In 1984 I recieved papers from the state of Oregon that my ex had filed for and recieved a divorce from me by default. Finally in 1984 I met someone new. We got married and started a family we have been married happily for 11 years. Anyway, In 1987 I recieved demands from the state of Oregon for child support of $150 per month with accumulated arrearages totalling $3600. I immediately notified the state that I would not pay. I was summoned to court for a show cause hearing for contempt. While waiting to be called before the judge the state prosecutor told me "I'm gonna put your ass in stir boy, unless you pay up". I told him to fuck off. I went before the judge he asked my why I wasn't paying my child support. I told him I hadn't seen or heard from the woman in question in nearly 6 years and that until such time as she faced me with the reasons for her leaving I would not pay. The judge told me he could put me in contempt and jail me until I changed my mind. I told him that that was true, and that I was prepared to do as much time as his honor saw fit to give me. I explained that while I was doing this jail sentence the state would be obliged to pay my current wife and childs expenses, the cost of my incarceration, legal fees, bad publicity (elected judge) etc. After much back and forth and gasbagging by the previously mentioned state prosecutor, the judge decided that their was no cause at that time for finding me in contempt. I went home to my family. I have spent a total of 47 hours with my daughter. Not by choice but because my ex will not allow me to see her. My ex spent 9 years collecting welfare she had another child by a another man, he molested both girls. Nothing was ever done, my ex would not allow our daughter to testify. My ex has moved 14 times in 11 years. I have lived in the same place for nearly 9 years. I am self employed. I am active in our community. I provide nicely for my wife and our 3 children. But according to the State of Oregon I'm a deadbeat and a criminal. This woman never said so much as "I'm unhappy" prior to her departure. I didn't make her do anything she didn't want to do. She loved to spend the money when we had it but when things got tight she bailed. The welfare system told her she didn't need a husband, the system would give her everything she needed and if , Hey! she spread 'em and got pregnant again she could get more money. Now the government wants to suspend the drivers liscenses of those that don't pay their support. Right. That'll make us pay up. Can't fight city hall? Watch me. Try as they will the state of Oregon has never been able to collect from me. It is now 1995 and the state says that I owe $19,000+. I refuse to pay. I will never pay. I've already paid enough.

SEVENTEEN Referred to you by American Fathers Coalition. 7-year custody fight. I need a support group for some guidance in specific areas re: Child Custody; False Allegations; etc. On-going custody battle over, now, 10 yr old daughter. 2 Court-ordered Family Evaluations in 1988 - both favorable for me; unfavorable for mother. 1st eval was so totally contrary to ex's allegations that Court ordered a 2nd eval. It turned out the same, but, in some ways, worse for ex. Finally, in 1991, Court ordered 50/50 time w/joint/divided custody. Ex-wife waited 3 1/2 years so that prior evals would be "outdated". Am now back in Court. Judge ordered yet another (3rd) eval which turned out much the same as the 2 prior. Went to Court armed with 3rd eval. Judge (Honorable Colleen Toy White) hadn't read eval or any history of case. Granted full hearing. Ex is challenging the evaluation! Trial scheduled for Sept 25. Have legal counsel, but, still need help. Would like to explain and expound on several subjects. I am in the L.A. area (Malibu). Fax: 310-589-1919; Vc: 310-457-2775; email Court venue is SUPERIOR COURT OF CA, VENTURA. Please feel free to contact any of the following for verification: Marriage Counselor : Walter E. Brackelmanns, M.D. 818-990-7070 1st Court-appt'd eval : Stephen J. Wilson, M.D. 818-344-6930 2nd " " " : Leonard Diamond, Ph.D. 805-482-5166 3rd " " " : Eva Baranoff McKenzie, Ph.D. 805-379-3799

EIGHTEEN It's difficult to know whether to be anonymous or not. Whoever reads this should know that some truths are so destructive to children, so heinous and animical to "the best interests of the child," that anonymity, however often the coward's cloak, is necessary. Anonymity in this case, and I suspect, in many others, is nothing less than a man's love and respect for his children. We don't need more victims. So, anonymously... I get the children, 14 and 11, half the time. In reality, I take care of them 5 or 6 days a week. Lucky me, compared to the fathers who are reduced to visitors and emotional rubble. But, not lucky me, compared to what the outcome of my divorce would have been had I been a woman and a mother. My children's mother abused both children sexually. She traveled three months a year. She was, by her own admission, "an emotional bystander" when it came to raising the children. She tried daily to keep the children from loving me. All she had to say in mediation was, "I'm the kids' mother and I'll change." She hasn't. My son spent five years in intensive treatment for the abuse he suffered. A written agreement stating that my ex wouldn't travel on days she had the children, especially because of the kids' need for predictability, is violated about half the time. If I went to court, and got lucky, I would get sole custody. I also would cause the children a lot of harm and kill much of the positive energy I have to love my kids and try to affect change. In the past week, my children have broached the subject of my being in charge of them full time. The fact that they have to choose like this, that the divorce agreement was prejudicial to me because of my gender, is more painful than I can say. That's my story. That's also one more way of saying, "There are very few children in America with fathers who aren't in some way battered and beaten." The fight goes on. It must be win. Nothing is at stake except our children and our humanness.

NINETEEN Working on my personal case, rather than the rest of the world... Lost in court. Now I have two sons (my only children) who have been stolen by women whose illegal behavior is supported by the tyrannical judiciary. I am only allowed to "visit" my son every other weekend... "at the discretion of the mother" ... because she is "afraid I might say something bad about her to my son, because she is trying to have me incarcerated for a year for falling behind in my child support!" Please keep this confidential!

TWENTY Because my then-wife KNEW she would have to be proven "unfit" before she would not have SOLE custody of our daughter, she refused to even make the slightest effort at saving the marriage. Though during the marriage I lived the textbook "good husband and father" by all the feminist standards (>50% of housework and childrearing), I was stripped of my parental rights as a matter of course. Because I was only the FATHER, I was reduced to nothing more than a source of income to my former spouse and a visitor to my own flesh and blood. I have, since then, donated over 2500 hours of my time to helping other fathers in their similar needs for friendly support and empowerment. I have, since then, written over 300 letters to editors, producers, writers, advertising agencies, talk shows, etc.. I have sworn that I will not stop my diligent efforts to stop this madness and keep it stopped, once we are successful. I keep my promises.

TWENTYONE Hmmmm, yeah, Ok. Chicken like a Christian about to be fed to the lions! I have not heard of *anybody* else here on campus that opposes the fems propaganda, and seeing how the Admin. is solidly feminist it's easy to understand why. You can persecute a male who doean't actually *do* anything here, just because he says something that a fem finds "offensive." I read at the Christina Hoff Sommers web site about the painting on the wall in the classroom of a Pennsylvania university (can't remember the name of the institution) which was removed because it created a "chilling" environment to women. If that was chilling, we men are in a deep freeze here. No "surprise" there! I guess I was just "tearing my hair" at the (seemingly) hopeless nature of the "debate" here in AA. I think that we both know what their "reaction" would be... This is something I will look into now that staff and students are back in earnest. And no, there really is *no* discussion at all here about men's or fathers' rights, other than the usual anecdotes about domestic violence (man-on-woman violence only), "Deadbeat Dads" (no moms) and how all classes other than Women's Studies are "Men's Studies" (vs. the indoctrination of boys/men into a twisted social norm created to protect women, as Farrell describes in "The Myth..."). When I suggested that the U might create a "Men's Studies" Dept., or at least change Women's Studies to Gender Studies I was seriously harangued and denounced for being just another "Angry White Male." So now I take a more careful and low-profile approach. I *do* want to finish my graduate work here. They don't seem to get beyond the "get rid of the abusive husband" mind-set. I think that there are some who tend to agree with me, but it's a hostile environment around here for Men's Rights advocates. We tend to keep our mouths shut in public and our discussions we keep among ourselves, but this may be changing. I'll keep you posted on things here. Since the academic year is just beginning I suspect things will be happening fast and furiously very soon. I'll get some of those copies of the Manifesto out next week when classes start and I have a chance of having a few sympathizers see them before the fems tear them dowm and/or dispose of them. I want to wait until the time is right, which it has *not* been. But that should change soon. We are a very "seasonal" town here.

TWENTYTWO Ex and myself are remarried. I fought for joint legal custody because I was advised I could not win anything more (i.e. physical custody). She tried to have me drop out of college to earn my full potential as an experienced restaurant manager. She was somewhat successful because support was set at $96/wk for a full-time college student. I stayed current on CS by student loans and credit cards. I graduated and now work as a chemical engineer. She took me back to court and argued for big bucks and won ($240/wk = $1040/month). After CS my take home is $1150/month. Our rent, student loans, car, and credit card bills are $4000/month, leaving a ridiculous (and impossible) burden on my new wife. My ex and her husband make over $70k/year. I explained all of this to the judge, including my wishes for custody. I offered to take custody with open visitation and NO support from her. In spite of all this the judge gave them exactly what they asked for...$240/wk. My credit cards are maxed and new cards are becoming more difficult to obtain. I'm headed for financial catastrophe. I want custody more than anything, but if I can't get that I would like my support to be lowered. Is there any case precedence I can refer to so that the judge will deviate from the ludicrous "guidelines"? Do I stand any chance of winning a custody fight? Any help would be greatly, greatly appreciated.

TWENTYTHREE Man! $1000 per month, I thought I had it bad, My x spends the support she gets on regular beauty appointments, car, vacations, etc... The best suggestion I have is to get her to sign the form which allows you to deduct the support on your taxes, if it is not already written in the divorce

TWENTYFOUR Ya know with all the email flying about lately, I just had to write and convey my thoughts. First, I definetly appreciate the info being distributed. It's so informative and enlightening to read about. I'm 32 years old, raised in a very stable home environment, my mom and dad started dating each other when they were in the 3rd grade (yep, we're talking elementary school!), they lived just houses away from each other and grew up together. Never did I witness a fight between the two of them, only one incident sticks out in my mind when I was about 8 - 10 yrs old: We were coming home from ??, pulling into the driveway and I think mom and dad were disagreeing about something, when we stopped, mom got out and picked up the newspaper laying in the driveway and walked around the block. Thats the biggest blow up I ever witnessed. Growing up I had a few friends who were in split families but it never fazed me, at that teenager phase I really couldn't concern myself with how it may or may not have been difficult for them. Just never had a reason to give it much thought, the idea of a split family was still so foreign to me. My closest friends that lived nearby were all from one-household families too. The family unit, in my eyes, was always a very comfortable, safe, stable haven environment. I got married when I was 25 years old to a man 12 years older than I. We are still very much married and still in love. He has 2 kids from a previous "encounter" (as I call it). The past 7 years has been a real shocker, eye opener, gut wrenching, fist clenching time for me. Not my husband, he's been living with it since the kids were 2 & 3 years old - he amazes me sometimes. But for me, well, I'm surprised that I hung in there. But I'm glad I did. Without going into all the gory details of dealing with a vindictive ex, lets just say that I thought I'd seen it all. Just some of the things I learned this past 7 years is that men/fathers have basically no rights when it comes to child custody. They also have a very low to no level of say so when it comes to raising their own children. They have none, if any, say so as to how the child support money is spent on their own children. They are viewed as a criminal in the courts eyes without ever given a chance to tell their side - we're talking Tijuana laws here - guilty until proven otherwise. I'm amazed at how easy it is for a woman with children to walk into a welfare office and apply and receive assistance. I'm amazed at how long a woman can remain on welfare and AFDC with the law simply turning a blind eye to the whole situation. (yes, OUR 'ex' is collecting both and has been for over 15 yrs.). It also boggles my mind that government agencies are so quick to collect the child support but when asked to also care about visitation - forget it! They say it's not their jurisdiction. Bullshit. And the constant harassment of a lawsuit when the mother decides that she needs more money because the price of horse feed went up or if you, god forbid, piss her off, expect to hear about how she is gonna sue for more money. We started hearing this out of the kids mouths! In our case at least we are nearing the end of the tunnel and her days are numbered, the free ride ends soon and we will be right here to witness it. These same people who live off the government for many years are many in the same who oppose abortion. Maybe I have a very radical view but I'm all for abortion, hey, accidents happen, we are not all perfect - I'm also for population control, I feel we do have a problem and our current problems are only gonna get worse with increased population, especially in the lower income, under educated, welfare families. Years ago a family wished for boys to be born because they could produce more food for the family, more labor, now you see people wishing for girls so that they can raise them to the age of conception and get another household member on the dole! I've always taken a pretty scientific view on just about everything, I was always taught to question everything, to believe half of what the media tells you and to find out the truth. If someone wants to flash a bible in front of my face and preach to me how abortions are "ungodly", let them-its a free world and we at least have the right (still, I think) to think our own thoughts. I will only remind them that my opinions are that I feel alot of these radical-bible toting lunatics are bad news. But I'm getting off the subject of fathers rights. There aren't many there. What rights they do have are many times squashed by the overpowering rights held by the mothers. Many of the mothers rights are "assumed". They are issues that the courts are still assuming belong to the mother because she is the mother. Kind of a sexist view. So I'm always interested in hearing about a judge in XXX county awarding custody to a father and awarding child support to be paid from the mother. Sadly this happens rarely. I've often wondered why it seems the men always end up shelling out the BIG $$'s to represent themselves in a child custody case when the women never seem to have to do this. Why is it assumed that custody of children automatically go to the female? I don't know why, I mean we all have to get up everyday, put our clothes on, go to work and then come home. Sure its a tough decision, I mean, its a no-win situation - the kids have to live somewhere so the one who you decide DOESN'T get the physical custody will be pissed. So whats the resolution? I can see where FATHERS is coming from, place custody in the males home then go from there. This will at least help to solve the other problem of welfare/AFDC deadbeats currently smacking the country in the kneecaps. But so much careful scrutiny would have to be placed on visitation; move away rights and cooperation in general, etc.. This is really turning into a very long one-sided conversation. I could go on and on. I guess I just wanted to get a few things off my chest finally. I just really scares me to read about this feminazi stuff - this I feel is going overboard in the wrong direction - it seems as tho you just can't call for "equality" anymore. And the stuff that recently went out about the newspaper article talking about BUG SPRAY, LESBIANS & NAKED WOMEN that really pissed me off, after laughing about it. What an insenstive thing to say about anyone.

TWENTYFIVE It concerns Liam, a small boy in Christchurch, New Zealand whose mother won't let him seee his father because his father won't agre to HER rules ....

TWENTYSIX On Wed, 30 Aug 1995, Carmen Perez-Buenteo wrote: My name is Carmen L. Perez. My address is 3200 South 1st Street #1112, Austin, TX 78704. I am the oldest of three girls and was raised in a two parent home, which is how it should be!!!! My dad and I have become the best of friends and I love him very much. My parents just recently got divorced after 20 years of marriage. My youngest sister is now in the 10th grade and is being shifted back and forth from one to the other. I know my mother understands that even though she has custody, she will never take the place of my father in our lives. I think it is time for fathers to stand up and say no! Carmen

[Response to Carmen] Dear Carmen: My 11 year old daughter hates me as for five years now she has been under the hate men propaganda of her mom and the other radical feminists working at the privet school her mom abandoned her marriage FOR. I even got mom the job there and co-founded that school myself, but the feminist agenda crept in and...well....let us just say the motive of money has a lot to do with why mom's co-workers at a privet school would help abduct ones children so the mom working there gets custody and school support payments...pardon me....child support payments. The justification of course is mom was fearing for her safety so had to flee the omniviolent male shauevan-ist pig. It may not be widely understood but a man who got sterilized to save his wife from doing getting the big snip done on herself should not then be denied knowledge of or access to his children 6 months later. She has been the most hard hit by this ordeal of emasculinization of her father, and could use an e-mail pal Carmen. Her name is Nancy. My tears flow most for her because she is a young woman being to taught hate, not to love, yet love is one of the most important capacities in life, and hate is all that is needed to encist and destroy her soul. SHE NEEDS ALL THE TRUE PALS SHE CAN GET, HER TWO BROTHERS NEED PALS TOO. As for myself,,,if anyone has some extra dignity, e-mail me some. It,it is most important to any individual. Which is why it is the region being hardest hit by a manbashing custodial mom.

TWENTYSEVEN My case is similar to the WILLIAM J. HETHERINGTON CASE except that there were no children involved. The main motivator for my ex-wife was that if she did not get a conviction then she would be deported. I was sentenced to six years, served three. I was/am not poor, though I seriously underspent for my original defense, wrongly thinking it was a slam-dunk win for me. I lost my direct appeal, through Petition for Writ of Certiorari with the US Supreme Court. (denied) My case is still winding it's way through state court on a collateral attack, (Habeas Corpus) and will eventually be heard in Federal 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, but not until I have completed my parole in a couple of years. Since there were no children involved it is not directly related to Father's Rights, but mine is an interesting story and a travesty in the greater realm of men's rights.

TWENTYEIGHT HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WILLIAM J. HETHERINGTON CASE Wil is in an Ionia, Michigan prison on a Criminal Sexual Conduct (CSC) conviction. His wife claimed that he had raped her. The case was a matter of "he said/she said". Wil has been in prison, now, for 10 years. During all of that time he has consistently maintained his innocence. * MOTIVE FOR THE CHARGE - The trial took place during a bitter divorce and custody dispute. It was expected that Will would win custody, because his wife had abandoned the family for more than two months. * THERE ARE MANY IMPROPRIETIES SURROUNDING THIS CASE: Wil had to defend himself in criminal court at the same time that his divorce was proceeding. The divorce court froze Wil's assets after his CSC arrest. At the same time the criminal court refused to acknowledge that Wil did not have the use of those assets. Therefore, the criminal court refused to appoint a public defender. The way Wil obtained legal counsel was based on a "promise" to pay. Wil was offered a cheap and easy way out. On the first day of trial he was offered a "no contest plea bargain". He could have walked away (after having served 11 months in the county jail). He refused the offer - went to trial and was convicted - then the same judge who offered him the plea bargain sentenced him to 30 (thirty) years. William had no prior criminal record. The prosecutor had argued for 30 to 60 years. State guidelines are 1 (one) to 10 years. * Twenty lawyers have been interested in Wil's case over the past 10 years. Most of them say there was "error in trial" and "ineffective assistance of counsel". The prevailing opinion is that the law under which Wil was convicted was not constitutional under the state constitution. The lack of any money to defend himself is the reason why these attorneys have not taken his case. Several attorneys have taken whatever money Wil could raise and then abandoned him. Many persons who have attempted to assist Wil have been met with hostility, deception and "stonewalling" from public servants. - Wil has been denied his automatic right to an appeal under the U.S. constitution ! - 11/93 the National Coalition of Free Men (NCFM) raised the $3,000 needed to purchase an official transcript. * Wil has been in prison since 9/24/85. He was sentenced 11/26/86. Because he has no funds he was unable to obtain an official trial transcript. He needed this to file his (federal) constitutionally guaranteed appeal. but REMEMBER, the criminal court still refuses to acknowledge he has no assets. * The criminal court docket shows that an evidentiary hearing was scheduled for 7/29/86, but it was not held or rescheduled. An Assistant Prosecutor tried the case, but the county prosecutor who was running for State Supreme Court addressed the court on two occasions: The bond hearing and the sentencing. The implications are strong that he was "grandstanding" for the feminist vote. The judge, too, may have been looking for political favor with the feminist vote. * The doctor who examined Wil's wife (the alleged rape victim) testified that in examining her vagina he found no injury whatsoever and that this was unusual when a woman is claiming forceful intrusion. * Wil admitted in court that he and his wife had consual sex the day of the alleged rape. But the prosecutor discredited Wil's testimony by saying that Wil had no choice but to admit to having intercourse. As evidence he introduced a pair of Linda's blue jeans containing sperm. Yet there is no sperm in Wil's semen, because he had a vasectomy several years before. This fact was not picked up until Wil had been in prison for nine years and the NCFM organization had purchased his transcript so that the details of the trial could be examined. * On the day of the alleged rape, Linda Hetherington had visited her boy friend before going to visit Wil. It is suspected that the semen on the blue jeans is that of the boy friend. He was never called to testify at the trial. * Linda and Wil Hetherington had been married for 16 years when the couple broke up and Linda filed charges. * Linda visited Wil 8 (eight) times in jail on friendly terms between the time of his arrest and sentencing. Linda led Wil to believe that she wanted to reconcile their marriage. All Wil wanted was to get back his wife and family. * There were no "battered wife" allegations in the CSC case, nor were there any such charges in their 16 year marriage. Prior to the charge Wil had filed a police report of physical attack on him by his wife. These charges were documented by police photos of his chest. QUESTIONS ?? Please contact Betty Duffey, Chair, William Hetherington Defense Committee for the National Coalition of Free Men (NCFM) at PO Box 129, Manhasset, NY 11030. TO PROFESSIONALS: I have supporting documents, such as trial transcripts, police reports, Child Protection Service reports that show that Wil's children were abused after his incarceration, psychological reports and letters from Wil's daughters and one from his ex-wife, etc." - Betty Duffey, Chair, William Hetherington Defense Fund. ON AUGUST 1, 1994, Insight On The News Magazine did their cover story on William Hetherington. The magazine did an in depth investigation and reported on it fairly and thoroughly. For a back issue call (800) 356-3598. There is a charge. Have your credit card ready. DONATIONS TO WIL'S CASE ARE TAX DEDUCTIBLE in the U.S. Please be generous! Make checks out to: William Hetherington Defense Fund. Mail your check to PO Box 129, Manhasset, NY 11030. Thank You !!!

TWENTYNINE You want a f...... story? I've been falsely accused of raping my daughters 4 times. This is despite the fact that my ex-wife (an MD) performed our daughter's first forensic rape exam, because the DA decided not to prosecute. I am currently a fugitive, facing a prison sentence, for allegedly telling my own lawyer that I would blow up my ex's car if she refused to let our kids be examined by a certain psychiatrist. I've also been kept away from my kids for "demanding a cup of coffee and to use the bathroom" and for simply calling ex up to say that I would pickup the kids. After that call she said that she was terrified by my behavior.

THIRTY Greetings to all Fathers and NCP's from Australia. I hope to god I'm not too late to be included on the manifesto you are preparing. Just reading some of the battles you have had to go through makes my heart bleed. And I thought I had problems with the Family Law Courts. Sure is a leveller to see what shit some of you have had to deal with. A brief background. I was married in 1986. A son was born in 1987. A daughter born in 1989. So what, you say. Imagine being told I may not be the father of my daughter. Sure as hell was a shock. Marriage continued.Apparently the Supposed father was no more on the scene. 1992, and the ex has another affair with someone else. Then the first one and supposed father comes back into the picture.Separated in 1993.Courts awarded interim custody to myself pending a final hearing. Judgement in 1994, 12 months later. I managed to strike a feminist judge. Her opinion was that a mother was more important to children.She also stated it was OK for my EX to engage in several extramarital affairs as she was only exercising her freedom. And I thought marriage was supposed to be an institution. So I had to farewell my children and join the weekend dad brigade. I've been stuffed about over access on four occasions and telephone access on at least a dozen occasions. My ex will let my son speak but not my daughter. She says, "You're not her father so piss off". My daughter has known me as her dad for the first five years of her life and now is getting this shit dumped on her. The kids are constantly questioned about the time with me. Are being picked up by the throat by my little girls natural father (who has now married my ex). They get pushed around and kicked and yet the legal system won't help. The kids are now being moved about 1500 kms away and I'm doing my damndest to stop it. I always thought things were supposed to be in the best interests of the children. Hell, even the family councillers report recommended that the kids would be better suited living with me. All this was ignored. I remember something my young girl gave me on fathers day recently. It was a small card that said. "Anyone can be a father...but it takes someone special to be a DAD". I will continue to fight for my children !!!! Fight on Fathers (Dads).

THIRTYONE I know many people will be signing the FATHERS' MANIFESTO out of anger at injustices they have known at first hand. Many have experienced the pain of divorce, and of being victimized by financial greed even as they were torn apart from their children. Others may be children of divorce. Millions of people have seen their personal world shattered. I'm signing the FATHER'S MANIFESTO because I've been fortunate. I've been divorced myself, and it's never easy. Yet I was luckier than many. The divorce came after only a short marriage, which we'd made in too much haste. We weren't right for one another. In a world of confused values, we all make mistakes. Luckily there were no children to be hurt by our separation. Perhaps it's significant that my ex-wife was very ambivalent about having children, which I saw would be a problem in the long run. To have children is to accept a vital responsibility into our lives. Today I'm happily married with a daughter of eleven, so my story is a simple and ordinary one. But it starts with my mother and father. I was raised mostly in the Fifties. We weren't well off, but we always had enough to get by. At one point in my childhood, due to changing work and financial circumstances, we were obliged to move around and ended up without a home of our own. In a literal sense, we were "homeless" for almost a year. Yet we were never without a place to live, due to the ties my mother and father had forged with friends and community. My parents sometimes argued in those times of stress. These were worrying events for a boy of eleven. I can understand how children of divorce are scared by what's happening around them. Yet at no time did I ever have the ultimate fear: that my parents might separate, that I might be cast adrift in the world, forced perhaps to choose between one or the other, to "take sides." They were always together. The idea of separation, of breaking up a family, was unthinkable to them. My parents' goals were overriding. They accepted without question that honoring their marriage and their parenthood, their motherhood and their fatherhood, was paramount. On one occasion, so my mother told me, my father left the house in anger after they had had an argument. On his way to work, he turned around and came back. "I couldn't leave the house like that," he told her. He had unfinished work to do: the work of a husband and father. They made up their argument. "Marriage is give and take," said my mother. Indeed it is. She too lived by this principle. They both put a lot into their marriage. They got a lot back in return. What they gave me was far more valuable than money. They showed me how to keep the faith with one another, and with me. All around me, I see people working to keep the faith. My wife comes immediately to mind. So do many friends and neighbors with children. So does my daughter's Girl Scout troop leader, working to build a network of adults to give community support to children as they grow. There are countless others. I must even include my ex-wife. She too "kept the faith." Although breaking up is painful, we were both able to do it with fairness to one another, and, dare I say, with love. On my side, I must credit my parents with teaching me how men and women can resolve their differences with love. On her side, the credit belongs to her; though I don't doubt that too was an article of faith passed down to her by her own parents. If we must break up, it behooves us to tread lightly, to do as little damage as we can; for what we're treading on is the foundation of society itself. When we have children, it's our personal responsibility to build and maintain for them a stable and intimate support structure, both economic and nurturing, that includes both the people who are responsible for bringing the child into the world: the mother and the father. Misguided writers, from Barbara Ehrenreich to Germaine Greer, have openly expressed the hope that government should replace the role of father to the child. They are catastrophically wrong. Government can only provide children with money taken from others. It can never do the work of families. Only people themselves, fathers and mothers working together, can do that for their children. That's what my own parents did for me. The family, and blood relationships, are the building block of society itself. Take those building blocks away, and society crumbles. This is what I'm seeing today. My personal world has not been shattered. It's still intact. But around me, the world is crumbling at the edges. Its not the place of trust, safety, and ethical behavior that it used to be. None of us, however personally fortunate, can remain unaffected by that. We can't ignore the injustices we see, in our so-called "family" courts or anywhere else. Crime affects us. We ourselves had two burglaries in the past five years. Violence is a threat to us. Taxes drain us: taxes levied in a futile attempt to put right social evils that shouldn't have happened in the first place. Lies, fraud, and unethical behavior of all kinds affect us. They're a failure of truth, which leads to a failure of trust. This is the loss of two essential values my parents taught me. They didn't just tell me about them. They showed me those values in action. Parts of society have degenerated into chaos. Men are ripped off by the courts. Women are beaten and raped. Children are abused. Adults swap partners at will, while children and their needs are dropped on the floor. It's a loss of structure, a loss of order and rules of fair play. Its outcome is bitterness. Personal responsibility too has failed. To say "society is responsible" is a copout. It's only a specious way of saying that nobody in particular is responsible. My wife and I will survive all this. But what kind of world will our daughter inherit? How well will she survive in a world grown suddenly less reliable, more predatory? Will she be able to form a stable partnership to raise and nurture children of her own, in a climate of lies, distrust, and divisiveness between the sexes fomented by greedy and spiteful people? Will she get her chance to pass the faith on? She's strong, so I can only hope so. We've done our best. Insofar as society still functions, it functions because so many good people have kept the faith in spite of it all. Those who have done so are holding the rest of society up. If they let go, everyone else would fall into hell. If everyone lived in a welfare community, who would there be to pay their welfare? If every man beat his wife, who would there be to protect women? If every woman threw her husband out and kept their children, who would there be to keep them from starvation? Why is the family so crucial to us all? For many reasons; but one is that the family is a closed system. It's there we learn how to settle our problems among ourselves, because nobody else is going to do it for us. If my father and mother had a disagreement, they didn't go running to divorce lawyers. They found ways to live together happily; and in doing so, they built love, trust, and security. Outside interference with the family has not, in the balance, helped it. The reason for this is simple. It's enshrined in folk wisdom, even in petty remarks about "meddling mothers-in-law." People who intervene, even if they say they're trying to help, always do so for their own reasons. They always have a private agenda, some ax to grind that's separate from the interests of the family itself. Too often they end up taking sides on the basis of this agenda, and setting family members against one another. This is doubly true when those who interfere have no interest in the integrity of the family, and every interest in money, power, and working off their personal gripes. Society is crumbling because the family is under attack. It's being assaulted by the greedy, the vicious, and the power-hungry: everyone from grasping and irresponsible marriage partners and money-grubbing lawyers to gender feminist misfits and malcontents who make their personal spite political; from ambitious bureaucrats to fat-cat politicians. All of them profit from the breakdown of society, and from picking like vultures through the spoils of human misery. Especially the misery of children. They play the game that Eric Berne called "Let's You and Him Fight." They feed off the mutual distrust, the resentment, and the battles of the sexes that they themselves instigated. They set ordinary people at war with one another. Afterwards, they prowl through the battlefield like ghouls, robbing the corpses of men, women, and innocent children. Men and women who keep the faith must join together to knock these vultures down from their perches of power, to throw these scavenging parasites out of our lives and keep them out. Yet this alone is not enough. The assault on society would never have been possible without an assault on the faith itself. What faith? It's faith in the family, in a system that demonstrably works better than any mere experiment. It works because it's the only way to fulfill human need. Children need mothers, and they need fathers as well. Yet we must have faith in the family, and dedicate ourselves to making it work. We only get out what we put in. So our greatest fight is against ignorance, to rebuild the faith in the face of those who would destroy it, and society along with it. We're publicly bombarded with messages saying that most families don't function, that marriage is outdated, that divorce is no big deal, that single motherhood is an acceptable choice, and that fathers are unnecessary. Yet we know the damage done by divorce and fatherlessness to millions of children. They're responsible for much of the criminal behavior inflicted on us. These messages are a monumental public fraud. They must be protested, contradicted, and resolutely shouted down at every opportunity. Nothing less than civilization itself is at stake. I had a happy, secure, and loving childhood. I had a mother, and I had a father. I saw them working together to build a family. No gift could be more priceless. It was a gift of faith. It's a gift that my wife and I have worked to pass on to our own daughter. Around me, when I was a child, nearly every child I knew had the same, even if some families worked better than others. It is not fair that so many children today are robbed of this gift, by selfishness and greed, by irresponsibility, by ignorance, and by fraud. Our children deserve better. They deserve what I and so many others have had. We must work together to see that they get it.

THIRTYTWO The good Judge took my case off calender. I appreciate any help that I can get. I am no longer going to let them push me around. This is what happened: I filed my papers with the court, on August 8, and got a hearing date for today, September 5. I hired a professional process server, who actually served the papers on August 21 at 11:30 am (I had to call them five times to finally get them to move.) They called the clerk of the family court and verified that personal service deadline for my hearing would have to be done by midnight of August 21. Therefore the service was good. I did not receive any responsive declaration from my ex-wife. Today the good Judge called us, and I said that I was present. My ex wasn't in the court. He said I will come back to you. four minutes later an attorney stood up and said she has just been hired by my ex and he asked for continuence. I objected. So the judeg said o.k. let's hear it. I said "based on CRC 1225a, I am requesting to enter default, meaning the respondent has been properly and timely served but there has been no responsive declaration filed by her and served on me, there for my two issues are uncontested. The opposing attorney said "now talking about rules of court, I say it hasn't been properly served, so ask to dismiss the case." Judge said "it is sept 5". I said "it was served on August 21, 11:30am by a professional process server, as well as my roomate. That's within the time limit." Judge said : "Its taken off calender for improper service." I said: "Your honor the clerk of the court has told the process server that midnight of August 21 was the deadline." Judge said "you need to refile." ----------- The process server did screw me, but I believe his service was within the 15 day time period, as specified by tha family court rules. But the process server failed to file the proof of service. Today before the hearing I gave the clerk a copy and asked her if she could file. She said I am busy, and wasn't friendly, but she left the copy for the judge. Usually they do file things right there. She just filed something for an attorney. ----------- Is there a conspiracy that the process server tried to screw me? Am I paranoid. They do know who I am, and that place is corrupt. Its a good old boy/girl club. My ex-wife's attorney during our divorce is a judege pro tem there. I have reported her to the state Bar, but there has been no response. Is there anything I can do. Appeal, order for removal of judge for bias, order for reconsideration, change of venue to another court? As of the next paycheck, I will be a deadbeat dad. WOW, I have been disabled for 3 months, and she has been paid from my vacation time so far. But the next pay check I'll be in default. I was trying to have the court ask her to do job search. Now she will go on welfare, and per Anderson v. Superior court (1989) 213 CA3d 1321, 262 CR 405, 1989 CKFR 4145, First Alert #F-89-394, the courts can not ask her to search for work, because that would be in violation of the due process of welfare moms!!! ------------ I am not going back to work, nor intend to play by the rules. I will fight this out! I appreciate any help I can receive. I AM FLAT BROKE. If it wasn't for a nice father to give me a room, I would be living under a bridge. Serious.

THIRTYTHREE (Text from the HOMEPAGE) Arthur T. Halavais My name is Arthur. I'm eleven years old. My sister, Megan, who is nine, and I are abused by our mother and our nineteen year old half-brother. I live in San Diego, California and the courts here won't help us. My sister and I have decided that we won't take it anymore. We can't stand up to our mother directly or she'll punish us so the internet is one way we'll fight ack. Sooner or later we'll find a way to be safe again. Our dad has fought for four years to win custody and get us safe but all the attorneys tell us that he can never win since the courts never side with men. Last Christmas we got to live with our dad while our mother went to Spain for six months. If that hadn't happened we wouldn't know what normal life is like. Because we know now that it isn't right for kids to get hit and punched and yelled at all the time and all the other things that happen with our mom we are going to fight back. History The abuse started about four years ago when our mother moved out to go back to college. When dad was with us nobody dared to hurt us because he can get really unhappy with people who hurt kids and he is big and scary to people who do bad things. I can remember a lot of times when he would stop mom or our half-brother from hurting us with just a look or a word and we still feel safe when he's around. One night he went out to get pizza for dinner and when he got back mom had us all in the living room trying to blame me for something I hadn't done. She was calling me "chicken man" and getting the other kids to say it too because I wouldn't confess to something I hadn't done. If we don't say what she wants us to she calls us liars and threatens us and tries to get everybody to gang up on us. She even told us one time that the judge had ordered us not to tell on her. She still does this kind of stuff only now it's to try to make us not like dad or to say things about him that aren't true. Just today she was trying to tell us dad was lying because he had to get his brakes fixed instead of getting Megan a new bike but I heard the brakes yesterday so I know he had to get them fixed. It makes Megan really upset and she has a hard time understanding what's going on. Mom was seeing a psychiatrist for a long time and when she was taking her medication it was better but some friends of hers convinced her to stop taking the medicine so it got bad again. When she has one of her bad moods she hits us and throws things at us or knocks us down and screams at us. She sometimes throws dishes and silverware or even furniture. She throws apples sometimes. Megan hides under the bed and I try to run away but she has a lock up high on the door so I can't reach it. When she's in a bad mood she will sometimes get into fights with strangers. She'll stop the car in the middle of the road and start yelling at other drivers. Usually they'll just try to get away but it scares Megan and me. I called CPS a couple of times but they won't do anything because we have a court appointed attorney who is on our mothers side and she tells them that she's taking care of it. I've heard the attorneys say that she is mad at all men because she was divorced 25 years ago and didn't get what she wanted from her husband. They say a lot of other bad things about her but I won't repeat them here. When we tell her about getting hit or the time I got tied to the door knob she calls us liars and tells us that we're costing our mother money because our dad goes back to court to try to get the judge to help us. Our attorney is a liar and I've caught her in a lot of lies but the court doesn't care. This is a picture of Megan and me skiing with our dad at Big Bear. We like to ski. We really live in Big Bear but we cant go home very often because the judge says we have to live with our mother and she won't let us see our dad except on exactly the schedule the court ordered. When they first separated we were with our dad most of the time but our mother's attorney told her that she wouldn't get very much money that way so now we only get to be with him a few days a month. Our mother tries to make Megan and me not like our dad. She calls him names and says things about him that I don't think are true. We get really tired of her talking about him all the time. Dad tells us that our mother loves us even though she hits us and he tries to make excuses for her but I think she just goes crazy sometimes. She won't let us see him when we want to even though before she left for Spain our dad would let us see her whenever we wanted to. She didn't even have a court order but our dad thinks we need to have as much time as possible with both of our parents. He would tell us to call her and if she sounded all right we would ask her to take us to lunch or dinner or a movie. I think his way is better. If she isn't in one of her bad moods we like to see our mother. Since every time we tell on our mother we get called liars and punished we don't want to say anything if it will get back to her. Our attorney tries to say that our dad set's all this up but that isn't true. When we have bruises and call CPS they don't come out or they wait a couple of weeks and the bruises go away. It was very nice to live with our dad for the six months. Megan and I were surprised that he didn't yell at us or hit us and we even quit hitting each other. Megan and dad would bake cakes and I would decorate them. It was different to eat at home most of the time. Mom doesn't like to cook but dad did because he said it was nicer for all of us to have dinner together alone because it gave us time to talk. We could have our friends over and we got to have all our pets with us. We have a St. Bernard and Megan has a kitten. I have 32 hamsters, an alligator lizard and a bunch of frogs. We have a rabbit named Rex but I guess he just lives with the whole family. At home in Big Bear we have three burros who came by one day and won't leave because Megan feeds them lettuce. Finally, a couple of moths ago, we were supposed to go to Spain to see our mother for a couple of weeks and we were afraid to go. The judge said we had to go so Megan said she was going to kill mom and they grabbed Megan one day and put her on the airplane. I was Kafraid and figured the only way out of this was to kill myself. Dad took me to the hospital and they admitted me and promised to help me. While I was there I felt safe for a while so I told the doctors what was happening. A couple of them filed abuse reports with CPS but the judge just ignores them. My attorney started coming to the hospital and she fixed it so dad wasn't allowed to visit. When she found out that I was telling on her and on our mother she arranged for me to go to Japan to stay with another brother. My dad was going into court at 8:30 in the morning and my attorney came in at 7:30 and told the hospital she had a court order to send me to Japan. That was a lie but when I told her my dad was going into court at 8:30 she lied again and told me court had been canceled. Dad hired a private detective to see if he could get some evidence the judge would listen to and he got statements from the neighbors about all the times the police had to come out over the screaming and hearing things banging on the walls. Last week my half-brother shoved me out the door and slammed it on my wrist. He wouldn't let me back in so I went over to the golf course and called dad. He came over and he had his private detective come over and he called the police. I told them what had happened but my half-brother lied about it so I had to go back to my mothers. She was really mad at me and wouldn't let me go in my room. She Ksaid it was a privilege so I had to sleep on the couch.

Dad has a lot of proof but when he took it into court the first judge said she wasn't going to get involved since the original judge was on vacation. A week later that judge said he wasn't going to do anything until maybe the end of September. One of the doctors and the private investigator were there but the judge wouldn't listen to them because our attorney was there too and she kept saying the she was taking care of everything and she thinks she is the one who can decide what the judge gets to see. We've tried to fire our attorney a lot a times but she says we can't because she was appointed by the court. I've written to the judge telling him we want to fire her because she lies but he won't do anything about that either. The CPS woman came to see me in the hospital and I told her what goes on but she came back to see me at my mothers and I was afraid to tell her anything since I was already being punished for calling my dad a few days before. I think the whole thing is really screwed up and I think the judge should get fired. We're going to hear a judge talk on Saturday and Megan and I plan to ask him to explain why the court won't protect us. We think he'll lie like all the rest of them do but we'll remember it if he does. When we get old enough we're going to sue them for not doing what they should to rotect kids. If you're a kid who is going through the same kind of thing or just if you have some ideas I've put a link in here so you can get in touch with me. I only get to use the computer when we see our dad because our mother says we will break her computer but it's really because she's afraid I'll see what she has on it. If you like hamsters like I do you can find out more about them from my regular homepage. You can see it best with Netscape but Mosaic works too. It takes a long time to load but I put A REPLY Silence on the part of media, when destruction of f&127amilies has become this widespread, and fatherlessness is the common word of every household, is considered to be a dise&127ase. This disease has a name: censorship. When falsely alleging abuse has become a way and a necessity for making a quantum leap in any family court matter, while the real victims of abuse go unnoticed, we have a problem. When an alleged victim&127 is silenced and that victim happens to be a child, I am enraged. Arthur, the bright 11 year old boy from San Diego, is being silenced. Who is asking for Arthur to either hush up, o&127r see his father shipped out, out of his normal life, but Arthur's court-appointed attorney, Lee Lawless? A true friend&127 and advocate puts her friend's needs first. A father who stands up to a mighty system for his child, may go to jail, end u&127p in a mental hospital, or just be stripped of his life savings. A court-appointed attorney avoids any exposure of her &127alleged unlawful conduct by trying to silence the child. Until recently, Arthur needed no voice. He had the Internet where he has been loud and clear. Arthur's right to his keyboard has now been taken away, and his only hope for getting any help is mute at this point; Arthur has been ordered not to plug into the cyber space. If this bright and vocal child is stripped of his First Amendment Rights, and his wishes for being with his father is consistently ignored, who is responsible but those who hear his cry? If Arthur could raise your conscious on what goes on behind those closed doors of court chambers, would you still remain silent? Read Arthur's story in the Sunday September 3rd issue of The LA Times (P A3). You will be enraged too.

THIRTYFOUR "Richard Halavais" -- Arthur's Dad -- RESPONSE I will sit in court and I will give the court the respect it deserves whatever my personal feelings about whoever the judge may be. It's like Clinton - I'm not real fond of him but I will respect the President. In this particular case, I believe Judge Bollman's orders are unlawful and punitive. I believe he allowed me supervised visitation for two reasons: 1) He hopes I'll figure I still have something to lose. 2) To teach Arthur not to make waves. Judge Bollman saw the sparkler and figured it didn't hurt to much - watch the fireworks now. I am morally obligated NOT to follow an unlawful order. Judge Bollman has promised me 5 days in jail and a $1000 fine for each and every time I talk to a newsman or post to the internet. I've already made arrangements for the neighbors to feed the kids pets while I'm away. Judge Bollman said that he thought it was terrible that Arthur and Megan's "dirty linen" was dragged across page 3 of the LA Times. I'm still trying to figure out how a c&127hild crying out for help against abuse is his dirty linen. Maybe it's somebody elses dirty linen that's the real issue - isn't that what the Times said too. I have about 10 media types that I have to respond to tonight. I can't produce Arthur but if they still want to talk I'll be here (or jail). It's a damn poor man who won't stand up f&127or principle but it's a far poorer one who won't stand up for his kids. Shut me up? Make me scream it from the roof tops is more like it. This isn't going to go away. Arthur and Megan may outgrow it but it's still gonna be here and it's going to get the attention it deserves. The family court in San Diego &127isn't really the cesspool that everyone says it is - it's upstream from the cesspool. Within a couple of days,&127 with a little help from my friends, I will be filing a demand for damages against the county. That is the required first step before filing suit. I will also be filing a writ to reverse these patently unlawful orders. Finally, I will sue&127 Bollman personally, under a 1984 Supreme Court decision allowing me to recover my attorney's fees to redress unlawful court orders. Of course. all the little stuff like complaining to the Counsel on Judicial Performance, writing to Senator&127s, Congressman, the Governor, the Justice Department Civil Rights Division, the Bar Association - the nothing crap that results only in some paperwork, will be out of here by tomorrow afternoon. Arthur and Megan are, obviously, the issue. To do what I can to assure their safety I have already posted round-the-clock monitors of their situation - only to observe, of course, but what right thinking human being wouldn't s&127tep in if a kid is in trouble. Dateline, Channel 10, Day & Date, NBC News, ABC News, some newspapers and a couple of magazines are in line for interviews. I may have to hold those from the visitors room at county jail but BFD, it just adds some flavor and damages. San Diego hasn't had real good luck defending these kinds of law suits lately. Bollman isn't that short, he doesn't have a funny little mustache and it isn't 1939 so I'm not all that worried. You know the most interesting thing about all this? Senator Exon tried to screw with the internet. There were some 2-1/2 million letters to Congress posted within a month. Bollman just shut down the internet. If he gets away with this order then any Roy Bean judge anywhere in the country can get away with it to. How will all of us like it when judge Shagnasty decides he doesn't want the internet in his county and issues his own blanket gag order? You can re-post this any place you want and you can credit me with authorship Kids with computers grow up - until then it's up to us old farts to hold the line. Richard A. Halavais - Arthur's Dad PS -- FYI, we got em on the run. Lawless went to court today to try to get a prior restraint order stopping the Times from publishing Arthur's story. Fat chance!! I knew she was an idiot but this is great - nothing like trying to bury a story to get a reporters interest up. Let's get those stories in to him ASAP. We got bumped this week by the Furhman tapes but we're scheduled for next Wednesday. Let's give Bob Jones all the ammunition he needs to expand his coverage with his editors and get us the *good* publicity we need. >What a disgrace. I hope that there are other people in San Diego who can >keep reporting on the case. Fathers need a case which can capture the >imagination of the press and public and this one seems to have done >that. If the court will silence everyone in San Diego some of us in >other counties can start reporting. > >A suggestion: get as much information on Lawless and the judges and make >it available to the press. The fear that damaging information may become >public should slow these people down and put some respect for fathers >into others.

THIRTYFIVE I need to straighten something out here. I am upset and dismayed and gosh knows whatever else with you guys. I cannot stand to hear this kaffee klatsch gossip about Richard Halavais and children. Let me tell you something. I've known Richard since February on a forum totally different and apart from this one, a listserver out of Canada, no doubt, this is a VERY small world, even on the Net. Only recenlty have I found that we run in the exact same circles, not only on this issue, but others as well. i will vouch for his credibility, as a levelheaded person, who has the means to logically think through a problem and come up with solutions that may or may not be to his liking, but solutions none the less. he is also a person not afraid to ask questions. Just because he has been able to find an outlet that pulicly anounces his problem doesn't mean that he is no less a father. You should all stop this back chatter and listen to yourselves. You are no better that a bunch of connving women who want to put the other down so that they may find some gain. Just because this one person has found an avenue to which to parade down, doesn't noecessarily mean that there is something wrong. Maybe YOU are the ones who have something wrong. Maybe YOU are upset at the fact that one of us has finlly opened that ONE door that just may lead down the proper path. Could it just be that you are jealous that it was not you??? Don't you even think that for one second that ANY possible injustice that may have been done to this child is far less than the millions of injustuces done to children each year by custodial mothers?? How many times has there been a war where no child has gone unscathed?? Yes you may sneer at me or have your views of me drop below sea level, but that's okay. I stand here befor you to tell you that Richards story is not far beyond the norm. Now Let me tell you where I come from (a much abridged version) My husbands visitation was being interfered with, he filed a contempt. The judge appointed a black atty (I am white my husbandm ex and children are black) to represent the children. At the first meeting the children told the atty that they wanted to be with their father as much as possible and that they though he was the smartest man on earth. Then the atty turned to me and accused me of being the problem that the children were insulted that i was white, that I inititated all the animosity between my husband and the children and I should step back and let my husband and the x get back together. Then the x founf out how much money she would lose if the children spent as much time with the kids as they wanted to be with their father. An iterim agreement was stipulated to and the contempt was remove form calendar. the first visitation after that was interfered with and My husband called the atty. He was told that the children cannot do what the want and that they have to abide by the curt order. All next three visitaiton went interfered with and the atty did nothing. We filed a contempt and the moehter tried to run her own daughter over to evade service. then sent her husband in place to get the kids. The boy spouted at his father "don't you tell me what to do , or I'll tell my atty!" In curt, the atty lied and said that the children were deathely afraid of their father and that they don't want to see him anymore, he advocated as well for the mother. WE filed a motion to dissmiss him and we won. A special naster was put in place to examine the situation. here again the children could only be interviewed with the presence of the mother. The said that they never want to see their father again. The mediator said that it woudl be safer to leave things as they are that any further contact would be detrimental. Indeed the FCS, said that he sould only have supervised visitation something that the FC code only allows for fathers with felony conviction relating to minors. We, including me, had a gag order, but the nother still told the children to get what they could out of our household, then she lied abut the goings on nd used them in court. They did nothing to her even though she violated a court order, adn went so far as to believe her, even though we had affidavits form third parties contesting to the fact that she was a pathologicakl liar, as well as the children. So don't come and tell me that richards story leaves something to be desired. i've witnessed this for myself as a third party and I can tell you that his story is no lie. You guys are a bunch of whiny women jealous at someone else's success in publicizing thier strife. Until you get this mean streak out of you, you will end up nowhere. Just a bunch of bickering wenches. If you support Richard, the truth will eventually come out, and the children will understand wha'ts happening. My husband on the other hand has no such option. the mother, the atty, the mediators have taught the children to hate their father, and that he is evil for wanting to see them. The boy is a gang member and is failing in school and the mother write about three tardy or absent excuses for him each week. The girl does well in school but is emotionally disturbed. Please rethink what you are saying. Divided we fall, when we have won our battles then we can go on with our lives and iron out bumps and bruises the we get. In the mean time children and fathers suffer everyday at the hands of vindictive ex's, unscupulous atty's and lawless judges >I am totally aware and sympathize with Arthurs dad, because that is a mirror image of my case, my daughter has for years been telling her teachers and therapists and everyone who will listes and they blaime her and take sides with the mother, I have uncovered 6 people who have turned my ex in to CPS and I undrestand there are 3 or 4 more other people who have also turned her in to CPS, and still they whitewash it and cover it up. Among those who I have found that turned her in to CPS are (1) a school principal, (2) three teachers from two different schools, (3) the San Jose police dept., (4) neighbors,and (5) myself and my family, and still nothing is done by the courts, or CPS or any of the court appointed therapists, or this so called child advocate, who the kids hate, not to mention their own attorney who has yet to tell the truth in court, because the kids want her fired. The bruzes are apparent to the naked eye, the fact that many credible people who are from different parts of San Jose means nothing, the fact that none of these people are my family or friends has yet to make a wave or a dent on these peoples conscience, if they have one. yes Arthurs dad, I know exactly what your going through, that is why we in california must adopt and copy the petition that is going on in New York, and force our president election seeking governor to investigate these courts and their judges if he wants our votes, now is an oppertune time to go after Wilson and tell him in no uncertain terms that we will fight him in the polls if he continues to ignore all of these registered angry FATHER voters! I only wish that our newspaper would print our stories, but there in bed with our local corrupted officials. I could sure use some help myself, but until that time arrives I will continue to fight these misguided souls and try to keep my kids out of the shelter, which is where they have plans on sending them, over my dead body!

THIRTYSIX My current status: I am serving an eighteen year prison sentence with no chance of parole before 2001. My crime: fathering children in a marriage performed according to legally recognized and accepted procedures. Like many other men, I married an Israeli national, had children with her during my marriage, and later discovered that by doing so, I had closed myself hermetically in the country until the youngest reaches the age of eighteen. I am only one of many men who are prisoners in Zion, held hostage in Israel by a legal system that regards men as guilty until proven innocent. The Israeli legal system has been long criticized for the way it handles family law cases. Feminist groups have clamored for years to put an end to the one-sided system that gives the husband the exclusive right to terminate a dead marriage. However, a fact that receives much less publicity is that men have virtually no rights with regards to family law. The same one-sided system that gives the husband the right to terminate a marriage also appoints the husband as the person solely responsible for the support of his family and the one held accountable for his family's existence. Many men discover, as I did, that they have no guaranteed rights and that from the moment they marry, they become criminals on the lam. When my marriage started to fall apart, I made it clear that I wanted to ensure the well-being of my children, including proper financial support. Israeli law clearly specifies that child support is linked to visitation rights; however, soon I was to learn that a belligerent ex-spouse can deny a father visitation rights while she continues to collect child support. The legal system routinely turns a blind eye to cases such as these; the police usually refuse to become involved in enforcing visitation rights. What surprised me, however, was to discover that my ex-wife can take out a stop order from the courts that prevents me from leaving Israel, even for a short period of time, until the youngest child reaches the age of eighteen, as a measure to ensure that I will continue to pay child support - for children she does not allow me to see. Many fathers in Israel face this situation. Numerous cases exist where men, with or without Israeli citizenship, came to the country quite innocently and discovered, when they tried to leave, that they were not allowed to do so because of claims for child support. The law makes no distinction between a native Israeli male and a male tourist in this regard; a man who comes on a guided tour can also get a nasty surprise when he reaches the airport, and cases of this sort exist. However, my situation is a bit more complex: I am being held in a foreign country against my will at a time when my brother is dying of AIDS in the United States. A better opportunity for blackmail could not exist, and my ex-wife shows no intention of rescinding the order to allow me to see my brother before he dies. The law, still on the books, had its reason to exist years ago when a father of children who left Israel could not easily be located and it was more difficult to force him to pay child support. In those days, the mother would have been saddled with the entire financial burden of child support without some form of guarantee. Today, the mother can turn to the National Insurance Institute, Israel's equivalent of Social Security, which then pays the child support in the father's absence. The NII and/or the mother can then locate the father wherever he may be and force him to pay the debt. However, even though the father can be forced to pay today, regardless of his whereabouts, the old law is still in force. Legal remedies for men in my situation exist, but they are difficult to implement. One remedy is for a man to present two persons to sign before the court as personal guarantors that I will continue to pay the child support. This remedy sounds simple enough, but it is extremely difficult in practice. The first problem is the fact that a person who signs as a guarantor then becomes liable exactly as I would be, meaning the person also cannot leave Israel for any period of time. Today, Israel's economy depends heavily on international trade, and for many people, restrictions on international travel can mean professional suicide, as it has been for me several times. The second problem is that the institution of presenting personal guarantors, once the only way to obtain a loan of any sort, has received very negative press in the past ten years. All too many stories abound in Israel of guarantors who were held accountable for persons who defaulted on loan payments and were reduced to bankrupcy while the debtors went unpunished. For this reason more than any other, the option of presenting personal guarantors is next to impossible even among close relatives. Because I have no living relatives in Israel, I can regard this option as nonexistent for me. Another option that exists is to post as collateral some asset whose value is considered sufficient to cover the child support. This option is a rich man's luxury for sure. A divorce in Israel is devastatingly expensive (a lawyer's fee for accepting a case is no less than $2,500 and can be even four times that amount), and often men find themselves stripped of their assets and liable for child support that can amount to more than half their income. Also, Israeli salaries are considerably lower than American salaries, so the notion of paying eighteen years of child support in advance excludes all but the wealthiest of men from utilizing this option. In the eleven years that I have been held prisoner, I have learned that I am not alone. One day when I went to the court to get a copy of a document, the clerk asked me to translate for an American tourist who had tried to leave the country that his estranged wife had arranged a stop order against him and that he would not be allowed to leave. Translating the words was easy; conveying the message to the tourist that he would be denied freedom of passage was not. Neither he nor his wife were Israeli nationals, but that did not stop her from trapping him in the country. Not long ago, I came to know an American national married to an Israeli woman who came to Israel after his children, living with their mother in Israel, called him in the United States to ask him to come to protect them from their mother's abusive treatment; when he arrived, he suffered multiple culture shock to discover that no law protected him, that he was closed in the country by a stop order even though he was not an Israeli citizen, and that the legal system and the police took any allegation his wife made against him as proven fact. The courts obligated him to pay more than 60% of his monthly income to support his wife and children. He had supported his wife through graduate school, and her youngest child was nine, but the court ruled that she was unable to work because she had to be at home full time to care for the children, who, in the court's opinion, were still too young to have a working mother. Today the man lives from the hope that he may be able to leave Israel by mortgaging the home of his 72-year old mother in the United States. The Israeli press has criticized the US Embassy for assisting American nationals, on occasion, in leaving the country in defiance of stop orders. The Embassy denies any such activity, of course, but cases have been reported in the media, and I myself have known of cases in which the Embassy rendered such assistance. However, in every case I know, the person assisted was a woman, not a man. Of the active cases I know today in which men have petitioned the Embassy for similar assistance, every one of them has met with a refusal. Even during the Gulf War, when there was a threat of chemical warfare in the Middle East, the Embassy did not change its policies. Of course, the sorrow of many is the consolation of fools. It does me little good to know that others are in the same situation. A convicted criminal might have a better chance than I have to pay a visit to a dying brother. I still have six years left before my youngest reaches eighteen; my brother may not have that long to live. When I have tried to seek a solution, I have only encountered greedy attorneys who would be happy to take a princely sum from me so that I can try my luck in the legal system again. Because attorneys in Israel are heavily protected against the likelihood of any malpractice action being brought against them, I have reason to be hesitant to become involved with someone who could make my situation worse, take what little money I have left, and then leave me high and dry. It is a harsh situation for me. Certainly my children do not deserve to bear such a burden of guilt as the one their mother has created by estranging them from me and keeping me from seeing their uncle again. I make no mention of what it does to me, because the law has proven that what I feel, for my children, for my brother, for anyone, is of no interest to anyone.

THIRTYSEVEN I was listening to NPR the other night and they were interviewing some of the women attending the Womens Conference in China. One of these feminine leaders lamented that Women in other countries (mainly Asian) were not interested in divorce, but in strengthening families. She stated that she could understand that the women in these countries had much more burdensome problems, such as having enough to eat, and that once these problems were addressed they would be more open to the new interpretations of Family groups (such as single parents, divorced parents, homosexual families) currently espoused by the womens movement in the U.S. If our mighty government leaders can't see the cause of the problems of family breakdown, lack of values and increasing violence in our society, they should tune in to what these women are saying.

THIRTYEIGHT I filed for divorce in July because my s2bx is a feminist and wants to be a lesbian. Hawaii is a liberal state with regards to homosexuality. It is also liberal with regards to shared custody. We have agreed to 50/50 custody. Both parents are awarded custody, with neither being primary custodian. My s2bx got a job after 10 years of being a stay at home (vacationing) mom. Child support in a 50/50 split is a lot less than if she had primary custody. Big Brother insists on child support (I do too, its for the kids). As her income begins to equal mine, there will be no support paid by either party. Because she has a job, and is a magna cum laude graduate from UMBC (with a minor in that fad known as women's studies), there is no alimony. Karen Decrow (former president of N.O.W.) summed it up best when she said, "There is nothing scientific, logical or rational to excluding the men, and forever holding the women and children, as if in swaddling clothes themselves, in eternal loving bondage. Most of us have acknowledged that women can do everything the men can do. It is now time to acknowledge that men can do everything women can do." > WHAT SHOULD 2,000 >SIGNATORIES DO COLLECTIVELY right now to end this pathology? Fight on. Forward the manifesto to every republican congressman/senator. Then send it to the democrats. Fax a copy daily to N.O.W. headquarters. Get loud, get mad, get even. We have to scream louder than the women. We need to get off our asses.

THIRTYNINE The Case Against Divorce shakes the shoulders of anyone who has ever considered separation or divorce. It argues that divorce, in all but a few extreme cases, is a disastrous mistake for not only the couple, but for a wide circle of relatives and acquaintances, and indeed for society at large. Not just another "how to save your marriage" book, The Case Against Divorce examines the most common reasons given for divorce -- "We've grown apart," "I have to be with my lover," "I need to be appreciated," "We're always fighting" -- and exposes these reasons for what they are: a couples' unwillingness to face the challenges of marriage. The Case Against Divorce reveals the lies and lures working subtly around us that encourage divorce and deceive us into thinking that a single life is good and that finding a better spouse is likely. It spells out the destruction that divorce can bring, emotionally, financially, and psychologically, which permeates the lives of divorced people for many years and often for lifetimes. Finally, The Case Against Divorce show how staying married and working to solve marital problems improves your character, your partnership with your spouse and family, and ultimately the quality of all your relationships. It shatters the notions that couples staying together "for the sake of the children," "because I'm afraid to be alone," or "because I don't have the heart to do it" are wasting opportunities, arguing that, instead, they may be saving their very lives. Excerpted before publication in Reader's Digest, The Case Against Divorce is unafraid to take a stand on the issue of marital breakup, and to urge couples to recommit to building strong and happy marriages. Diane Medved, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist specializing in short-term therapy with couples and individuals making life choices and transitions. She is the author of "Children: To Have or Have Not?" and "First Comes Love: Deciding Whether or Not to Get Married," and has written feature articles for Ladies Home Journal, McCall's, Glamour, Mademoiselle, and other periodicals. She makes her home in Santa Monica, California, with her husband, film critic Michael Medved, and their children. IT'S A BOOK FOR ALL: SINGLES, THOSE CONSIDERING GETTING MARRIED, THOSE WHO -ARE- MARRIED, AND PEOPLE WHO ARE DIVORCED. The Case Against Divorce, 1989. Diane Medved. D.I. Fine, Inc. Publishers (Hard-cover) 19 West 21st Street New York, New York 10011

FORTY My name is Michael D. Pickerign, and I am a 28 year old white male who has two daughters from two different women. One daughter is 7 now and my second daughter has recently turned 3. Out of a combined ten years I have maybe seen them for a total of 3 years. I was awarded visitation of my first daughter and am still fighting through the court system for custody of daughter number 2. Both mothers have refused to allow me to see them, regardless of what the courts have awarded. I have been paying child support on a regular basis and have retained an attorney for the custody battle still in progress. I have very little funds available to pursue my first daughter and have essentially decided to wait for her to become old enough to understand and want to see her natural father. As I mentioned above, I am still pursuing the case with my second daughter and have found the juditial system very lax when it comes to mothers. My second wife has used every delay tactic know. (i.e. accusations of child abuse, drug abuse, spouse abuse.......) All of these have been disproved by my attorney, however the process has thus far taken two years. I have tried to voice my situation to various agencies to no avail. (i.e. senators, congressmen, The President of the United State, television stations, etc.....) I am pleading to you for help with my situation!! Please don't respond with the standard I hear from the people who are suppose to represent the citizens of this great country, "We can not get involved, this is a legal matter that must be handled by private council." If this will be your respose, I would rather you not reply and allow me to hang on to some kind of hope that something is being done. Lonely father in Florida, Michael D. Pickerign

FORTYONE In May, 1991, I was charged with "behavior that would be construed as (hostile environment) sexual harassment" while working at Microsoft. I told a female coworker (whom I thought a close friend) that she didn't need to wear a lot of makeup to be beautiful. In a jealous rage, our department head put me on permanent probation, and when I submitted a detailed appeal to the director of Human Resources, she fired me. (For any who doubt Michael Crichton's movie, Disclosure, was based on a true story, think again.) That was on October 16, 1991. Less than 2 weeks after the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) found in Microsoft's favor in another case of sexual harassment. Only, in that case, a woman -- Joan Brewer -- complained that she had been a victim of sexual harassment. You can view some of Joan's documents at [2]Redrose . However, I will note that they are incomplete, and as a result not all of her assertions are supported by them. That said, let me add that I have reviewed her documents, and while her case is not as strong as she says it is, I believe it is FAR stronger than Mark Marshall of Preston Gates & Ellis represented in an e-mail he apparently sent to me on August 16, 1995. (For a copy of this email, see [3]Marshall email , and my reply, see [4]reply to Marshall .) For comparison, click [5]here to read about two extremely weak cases sexual harassment cases that were litigated successfully. And apparently, our cases are not unique -- Microsoft seems to be simmering with sexual heat: * Currently, Microsoft is fighting a charge of sexual harassment brought against the company based on email in which a supervisor made blatantly sexual and sexist remarks to a female subordinate. (Reference: [6]BNA Employment Discrimination Report . * Several years ago, the German subsidiary of Microsoft issued a poster promoting Microsoft Excel which, according to the June 26, 1992, issue of The Micronews, Vol. XI, issue 26, p5, featured a "statuesque blond dressed in a low- cut sequined jumpsuit." See [7]Excel poster . In every case we have learned about, it appears that Microsoft takes whatever stance is convenient to their purposes. Thus, while some extreme cases are disregarded or defended (like Joan's), other, minor offenses (like mine) are subjected to extreme measures. Microsoft's apparent indulgences, while unethical and possibly illegal, are hardly scandalous. Sadly, we have come to expect unethical behavior from corporations. What is a scandal, however, is the EEOC's apparent complicity. Officers of the Seattle office of the EEOC watchdog agency charged with protecting the people's rights are, insofar as we can determine, instead apparently abusing their power by protecting the interests of powerful individuals within Seattle's corporate community. The rules and regulations of doing business are so complex, convoluted and sometimes just plain unreasonable that businesses rely on agencies like the EEOC for clear, consistent interpretations. To be consistent, the EEOC would have had to find in Microsoft's favor in either Joan's or my case, but not in both. By finding in Microsoft's favor in both cases, the clear message they seem to be sending is, "We can be bought." Or perhaps rather than being corrupt, they are merely easily swayed bumblers. Either way, this is the real scandal. There are those who assert that Joan and I are merely "disgruntled ex-employees" who want to cause trouble for Microsoft. This is absolutely unwarranted, as the following "article," which I posted to the usenet on August 7th, attests: [8]Not disgruntled . While being branded a sexual harasser in Seattle has made my life difficult and cost me millions in lost options in Microsoft stock (part of the disciplinary action involved a demotion from an financial administration position within the OEM Finance department that had just made me eligible), Joan has lost far more. Not only because her physical injuries have left her partially disabled, but also because her skills are more specific to the software industry. She's a programmer, and, upon more than one occasion, she has written Windows applications for food. How many others are doing the same? How many other women and men have been similarly harmed for the sake of a powerful few? We expect to read about this happening in dictatorial countries; in America, we expect better. In Seattle, what we know about Microsoft employees is that many love and fear what the press calls the "golden leash." Their options in Microsoft stock. A programmer who is only one year away from being fully vested has a lot to lose by standing up for what he or she believes is right. And so they remain silent. Martin Luther King, Jr., said, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." This matters. Let the silence end.

FORTYONE I totally agree with the below. I had the chance to stay home and watch daytime TV talk shows two years ago when I got thrown out of my house. I was shocked at all the male bashing going on and all the advice seemed to be that if women were unhappy they should throw their husbands out and get themselves a better life. If a male was unhappy or miserable then he was an abuser or unstable, but an unhappy woman was abused.What really astonished me was how all the males seemed to be so docile and go along with the women and be against other males. It seemed that women had the right to make any statements, but a man really had to watch what he said.I believe there is a lot of ignorance among males who have not had the experience of going through a divorce. I know the general reaction from my cousins and other males I know was lack of belief that the courts could treat one the way they do. They really believe one has rights, as did I. I know better now, but I still believe one should have the rights I thought we already did.

FORTYTWO My attention to that bias was drawn about 15 years ago in mainland China by a primary school headmistress. I had noted the fairly universal gender-equality, with the blatant exeption of primary school teachers that were 99+% female. Her suggestion seemed to be: By age seven or eight boys have been so brainwased to accept the role dictated by women, that they can be safely let loose. I don't know about the USA, but here in Aussie the main enemy of equal rights for men are other men themselves that feel equal rights are "Un chivalrous" "Unmanly" etc.(While the women safely grin in the background) Maybe men have to be educated first. And nothing will change as long as the zero to seven's are under the sole influence of women, I think.

FORTHTHREE We have a bill introduced here in CAlifornia (SB 1355) that reduces social worker immunity to the same standard of policemen. At present they enjoy total immunity as I understand current law. What I have observed in court implies that they do indeed have total immunity. I contacted the National Asc. of Social Workers and asked for a fact sheet detailing their opposition. I recieved this today from NASW. I thought perhaps you would be interested. Maybe others out there may have comments or critism. In family law court these social workers have almost complete control over your life and your childrens life. They can impose their personal agenda without penality or review. Are there other states considerng similar legislation? If so who opposes it.

FORTYFOUR A biological dad who found out he had a daughter only after she was placed for adoption lost his court fight Friday against the adoptive parents for custody of 11-month old Madison. Matt and Mindy Walsh and their lawyer Mark Ferguson, hugged each other as the verdict was read. Mark Humberson, 29, the biological father and a non-food manager for a grocery store in Tyler, hung his head and cried. Family and friends in the courtroom also wept silently with him. The North Carolina couple who took the child into their home the day after she was born are jubilant about the verdict, but say they plan to file criminal charges against the birth mother. They say they do not plan to let the biological mother get away with lying to them and to adoption officials about the identity of the biological father. A jury of nine women and three men deliberated for six hours before reaching its verdict around 10 P.M. Ten of the twelve jurors voted in favor of leaving the child with adoptive parents. A poll of the jury by 57th District Judge Charles Gonzalez indicated two of the female jurors did not vote with the majority. Civil juries only require a consensus among ten jurors for a verdict. Some of the jurors had tears in their eyes as they filed out of the courtroom. The verdict means the Walshes, former San Marcos residents living in Charlotte, N.C., will continue to have custody of Baby Madison, who will be a year old a week from today. The Walshes said they planned to provide liberal VISITATION rights to the BIOLOGICAL FATHER. (Emphasis mine) Humberson and his lawyer, John R. Brumbelow, went into a side office in the courtroom after the verdict was read and did not speak to the media. Matt Walsh said that if the case is appealed, it could be in the courts for the next four or five years. "This is a day of victory for Madison. This is incredible," Mrs. Walsh said of the verdict as she clutched a small teddy bear she identified as on of Madison's first toys. The last several months have been a nightmare, she said. The Walshes said they plan to seek criminal charges and file a civil suit against Madison's birth mother, Araceli "Sally" Rodriguez, 22, of Tyler. "Maybe the next birth mother will think twice. We want this to stop happening," Mrs. Walsh said. They say the woman who chose them as adoptive parents betrayed THEM by lying on the adoption papers about the identity of the childs father. (Emphasis mine) The man Rodriguez initially had named as the father, Juan Quitero of Rio Bravo, Mexico, voluntarily signed away his parental rights, opening the way for the adoption process. It was only after Madison, born September 16th, had been placed in the Walshes' home by Abrazo Adoption Associates that they learned someone else might be the child's father. The couple said they were devestated by the news and at first thought the birth mother was lying about Humberson. DNA testing in February confirmed their worst fears. The test identified Humberson as the father. Humberson testified he dated Rodriguez for about seven months and did not know he had become a father until three weeks after the baby was born. He said she called him at work and showed him some pictures in the parking lot of the store where he works. He said Rodriguez had denied she was pregnant a few months earlier when he inquired after her teen-age niece told him Rodriguez was having his child. Humberson, who is single and does not have any other children, filed suit for custody of the child after paternity was established. He met his daughter during a supervised visit in Charlotte in May. Since then the child has visited him at his home in Tyler. In a broken voice and with tears in his eyes, Humberson told the jury he wanted custody of the toddler because she is his daughter and he loves her. Walsh said he and his wife had not decided if they will attempt another adoption, but if they do, they probably will not attempt to adopt in the United States. There you are. I'm so angry about this that I just can't make a comment.

FORTYFIVE A case already exists where a man's parental rights and responsibilities were terminated, and no adopting father was waiting in the wings! In case you're just tuning in, that's the goal of Choice for Men. Perhaps you're wondering WHY you haven't heard of this case until now.... Because the case was "depublished", to prevent it from being cited as precedent. Nonetheless, the case terminated the non-custodial parent's rights, while leaving those of the custodial parent squarely intact. The case was in the California Reporter as:

FORTYSIX John Leo wrote an article for the The Washington Times' National Weekly Edition, May 15 - 21, 1995, which said that in addition to the U.S., Japan and Britain also allow single women to conceive with donated sperm, thus condoning raising children by single parents. So if it's OK for children to have one parent, what "compelling state interest" is the U.S. using to justify forcing men into parenthood and child support? I attribute it to male bashing. ABC News broadcast a news special on Fatherhood in June and they refused to broadcast the man's side of the story of how he was forced into fatherhood! They really messed up. They FEATURED the side of the woman who forced him into fatherhood! I suggest sending them a fax through the email gateway which simply says you "expect" them to broadcast the man's side of the story too. You don't have to hit them over the head. Here's the email address which goes to their fax: remote-printer.Victor_Neufeld@9.6.9.2.6.5.4.2.1.2.1.tpc.int Marilyn vos Savant's column in Parade magazine recently said she sympathizes with the many men who are trapped into fatherhood, and that it would be fair to make fatherhood a role to opt *into*. She's a genius. Coincidentally, she agrees with our position. The July 6, 1995 issue of USA Today reported that entertainer Naomi Judd cuckold her ex husband Michael Ciminella into having her high school friend's baby, Wynonna. Wynonna Judd's biological father is actually Charlie Jordan, a high school classmate of Naomi Judd. Studies have found that between 1% and 30% of men are victims of non-paternity. The Boston Globe reported on July 15th, 1995 that fathers of 64% of the illegitimate children born in Massachusetts admit paternity, as opposed to an average of 40% for other states. Keep in mind that preliminary Government data shows that 2/3 of these men don't intend to cause conception. Mel Feit, the director at the National Center for Men was quoted in the April 3rd 1995 Washington post as saying that men who are forced into fatherhood '"feel raped. They lose everything they worked for all their lives. In many cases they had agreement with the woman to not have a baby and when she changes her mind they call me up and say "How can she do this to me?"'.

FORTYSEVEN Isiah Thomas, the former Detroit Pistons star, may have his 1987 paternity case re-opened. Thomas first agreed to pay the woman about $52,000, plus about $2,800 a month until the child turned 18, and then to a final payment of $100,000. Thomas' lawyer, Patrick Freydl, said the the issue is "ripe for a Supreme Court review" and "I don't think the case would have ever been filed if the Pistons hadn't won two championships in a row. I think that should be obvious to anyone." Another basketball star, 6 foot 7 inch Chicago Bulls player Scottie Pippen, was ordered by Circuit Judge David Delgado to make a one time payment of $10,000 to his former girlfriend Sonya Roby for birth expenses. Roby is also seeking payments of $11,500 a month from Pippen. That adds up to real money pretty fast. FORTYEIGHT The Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled in Gubernat and Deremer's case that the last name selected by the parent with physical custody (almost always the mother) will be presumed by the courts to be in the child's best interests. So, not only are the courts permitting men to be forced into fatherhood by contraceptive failure, contraceptive fraud, and statutory raping of boys, but now the guys who are forced into fatherhood won't even have a child named after them. Sit down, shut up, and pay. Tragically, in this case, the father killed himself and the child. FORTYNINE A new report from the National Center for Health Statistics found that births to unwed mothers are still increasing, and as of 1992 account for 30.1% of all U.S. births. Other preliminary government data has found that 2/3 of men involved with women like these didn't intend to cause conception.

FIFTY Here's another legal blunder. Not only do the current laws permit men to be forced into fatherhood by contraceptive failure, fraud and even rape, but in many U.S. states, men can't even get a vasectomy without their wife's consent! Any Constitution of a nation of free people must define the word "liberty" broadly indeed, including the right for decide for themselves in matters as private as procreation. These laws NEED to be overturned!

FIFTYONE The Israeli Supreme Court ruled 4-1 earlier this year that a divorced woman may not implant eggs fertilized by her ex husband without his consent, and thereby force him into fatherhood. It was a good ruling for our cause, and concurred with the 6/1/92 Davis v. Davis, Tennessee Supreme Court ruling, but conflicts with the opinion of New York Supreme Court Judge Roncallo, who said a "husband's rights...end with ejaculation" in the case of Kass v. Kass.. Judge Roncallo is retiring. Good riddance. The NEWS is that an expanded panel of _11_ judges of the Israeli Supreme Court will decide if the expanded panel should REHEAR the Israeli case.

FIFTYTWO California Senator Diane Feinstein has proposed legislation that would make the parents of boys named in paternity suits liable for their child's child support payments. I suppose "force grandparenthood" is a logical extension to "forced fatherhood". That's "progress" for you. I am disappointed that Californians were dumb enough to elect her.

FIFTYTHREE I got word last night of the latest attempt of suicide by of my next oldest brother's ex. She has tried this *8 TIMES* now, almost all of them right before he is to take off for a vacation. (The theory is that she's trying to sabotage whatever is left of his peace of mind) This latest attempt includes her injecting herself with drugs, drinking vast amounts of alcohol, short-circuiting her car's exhaust into the passenger compartment, and then (conveniently!) calling the police and emergency teams so that she is rescued. She always does this so that she is conveniently rescued before she actually gets the job done. This time she was escorted by the local sheriffs to the next county, where the hospital is (why they let her DRIVE I can't imagine!), and in the process intentionally rammed the lead car, slammed on her brakes and caused the tail car to rear-end her. She probably wants to sue them for damages - it would fit into her M.O. What this does is cause her to spend a few in weeks in the hospital/mental ward and then get released to do her nastiness all over again by order of the judges and "friend" of the court. Every time after these events my brother has tried to get sole custody of the kids citing the fact that his ex is a loon and has no business with custody of any kind, but the best he has been able to do is joint custody. Sound familiar?! She has been evaluated by various psychiatrists and people from DSS and CPS and has been deemed a threat to the children (finally, after *many* objections by her, the "friend" of the court - who is also the local leader of the feminazi cackle-club, aka "women's support group." - and their hand-picked fem social worker) and the courts *STILL* will not give him sole custody. She has sex with her various boyfriends on the sofa in front of the kids (documented by psychiatric evals of the kids taken by DSS shrinks), abuses the kids and the family dog mentally and physically, etc. During the divorce she was ordered to pay child support which was not paid and never enforced, she embezzled money from their joint business which she was not ordered to repay, left my brother with many debts to pay off which he *alone* was required by the court to pay, etc., etc. You know the story. Anyway, I think that the time is right for this brother and another brother of mine (who has been through a similar but not-so-malignantly tragic divorce and child custody battle) to get copies of the manifesto and selected articles which I have saved. I printed out the one-pagers (about 35 pages!), various posts from you that I saved re. Arthur, the legal battles in Texas, MA and CA, and some of the posts re. the legislation in D.C. (Feinstien, Boxer, et al.). I am sending about 100 pages of stuff, bundled into groups with brief descriptions so that he is not too overwhelmed and can read them as he wishes. The most important thing would ba a copy of the manifesto and a Snail-Mail address that they could get in touch with you/your organization; they are not on-line yet. (Can't afford computers due to the extravagant CS they have to pay...) I have Peter's (Zohrab) Men's Issues resources lists and will send them along, but something specific to The Manifesto would help. Depending on how strongly a grip the fems have on the balls of the courts, it may be the right time to get those extra sigs from this state, as well as maybe even starting a full-blown Father's Rights Movement up North! Though I'm not a father and plan on never becoming one, I can not and will not sit back idly and let the radical feminazi sector of society abuse the laws of the US and make fathers suffer their psychotic behavior. And I will do what I can to make the judges and other members of the legal community answer for their complicity in this travesty of justice.

FIFTYFOUR By JEROME BURNE 'HUNG in for nine wild, crazy years and finally quit because it got too physically and mentally dangerous. I should have pulled out in the first year . . .' 'I think that I may finally have burned out my 'Knight in Shining Armour' routine. I finally learned that you just can't rescue anyone, they have to do it themselves. And sometimes you don't want to be there while they're doing it.' These are the desperate words of people who were married to someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a rather arcane psychiatric diagnosis that has been thrust into the limelight now that a newspaper has suggested the Princess of Wales might be a sufferer. The spouses quoted above, nearly all feeling guilty but determined to leave their partners, were venting their pain on America's latest psychotherapeutic invention - newsgroups on the Internet. Instead of confiding their fears and neuroses to a therapist, they were spelling them out for the whole of hyperspace. And when, recently, someone sent a message to the newsgroup called alt. divorce, declaring that they were divorcing their BPD wife, the group was swamped with responses from fellow sufferers, amazed and relieved to find that they were not the only ones caught up in a punishing emotional whirlwind. 'Thank God for this exchange!' wrote one. 'As an avid reader and infrequent contributor, I have found solace in sharing my plight with all of you.' According to one estimate, more than two million people - or five per cent of the American population - suffer from BPD, and from the tone of the messages they are leaving on the Internet, they can wreak havoc. 'My wife takes everything I say and warps it in some way to hurt me,' declared one occupant of this virtual-reality couch. 'At times she would strike me or throw things at me. I should have left but she ended (up) leaving me, making me feel like a crazy person.' 'Yes, that seems to be a common reaction by spouses of BPDs,' came the reply from a self-appointed virtual therapist. 'They are left wondering what they did wrong and feel guilty. I had two children to protect. I would have left my wife a lot sooner otherwise.' So what is this strange condition that seems to have come from nowhere? The Borderline personality is baffled and angry. According to psychiatrists she (WOMEN are labelled Borderline between two and four times as often as men) has to show at least five of the following symptoms: 1 Impulsive behaviour (promiscuity, drug-taking, overeating, shoplifting or shopping binges). 2 Very intense, but unstable relationships (often highly manipulative and dependent at the same time). 3 Flying into rages. 4 Not having a clear sense of who you are. 5 Dramatic mood swings. 6 Terrified of being abandoned (one self-help book on BPD is entitled: 'I hate you, don't leave me'). 7 Suicide attempts, self-mutilation and frequent fights. 8 Regular feelings of boredom or emptiness. It is true that there is an awful familiarity to these symptoms - most of us can probably think of a few ex-es who fit the bill. Famous examples in fact and fiction abound: the writer Samuel Beckett was said to have been one; Kundry, a furious character in Wagner's Parsifal, is a classic example. However, being furious and impossible on stage is one thing, living with it or trying to treat it is quite another, as the battle-scarred survivors of encounters with BPDs testify. 'Start a conversation with a therapist about Borderlines,' writes American therapist Gordon James, 'and feelings and stories pour out. They seem to have an uncanny knack for diagnosing - seeing through - their therapist's character and for perceiving the therapist's uncertainties, foibles, and hypocrisies as well as needs, hopes and virtues. They know exactly what to say or do to engage or enrage, to touch or terrify, the person who would help them - and often enough they say and do it.' However, pinning the BPD label on someone means that the finger of suspicion is left pointing at the parents. Traditionally - BPD has been talked about for nearly a century - home life has been held to blame: sexual abuse, highly ambivalent and painful relationships with parents or carers and neglect have all been paraded as likely suspects. 'Sufferers,' says one authority, 'have an unverbalised assumption that to avoid past disappointments, both partners of an enduring relationship must mobilise vast amounts of emotional energy and be prepared for untold sacrifice to make the relationship trustable.' On the other hand, according to Dr Larry Siever of Mount Sinai hospital, it could all be down to brain chemicals. Acting impulsively - sex, drugs and suicide - is, he believes, more to do with too little serotonin in the brain than home life, while too much noradrenalin can provide a trigger to set off a BPD attack. Everyone would like to find a successful drug treatment, because BPDs are famously resistant to therapy, but as yet nothing works very well. If it is bad for the therapists, think what it is like for the family. 'These therapists make a big deal about how to care for a BPD,' wrote one bitter spouse in the Internet newsgroup, 'yet they don't focus on the BPDs' spending habits, their infidelity, the mental anguish they inflict.'

FIFTYFIVE I just read some of ther stuff posted from it and that is enough for me. I have my own emotional torture going on and do not need to dig too deep to see when it is happening to others. In fact it flatens me dealing with Arthurs stuff since the freedome to communicate is what my ex is ruining in my own children, and it recoils on me dealing with Arthur's cut comm lines but it is also a kind of substitute help, and is good for me in some ways, so I may as well be succesfull for someone else where I have failed for myself and my own children. I am seeing them now, but the five years of hell this court system permitted to take place is not going away. Why am I trying to convince you of this?

FIFTYSIX I am a father who has had a child kidnapped and the courts participate in such WITHOUT A TRIAL!! I am voluntarily making child support payments; without any ordert in place, I have made about 30 monthly payments. I am living in poverty and appreciate and would like if Jean Coyle would email me a copy of her post, which contained specific information on how to get by on less money, the smart way.