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USER FEEDBACK
Fucking funny
This is the best thing I have read, hence I keep reading it. These guys are such fucking dickheads. I keep thinking to myself: "How the fuck can these assholes look at these pics and think it looks alright?". If there was a hell, I would hope that it would be reserved for people like this... Christ, these people are stupid. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Fuck you.
You don't even know the meaning of metal and you obviously will never understand... Its not unhuman to take bad pictures- These are respectable metal bands that dont deserve your critisizm. Im sure you have no room to talk seeing how you're probably sitting behind a computer all day, fat fuck-- I think you were the result of a leaky trojan, my friend. FUCK you. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Actually a good idea...
"You can’t see it in the picture, but his right armband has HORGH written on it..." Yeah, my mom used to do that too so my stuff wouldn't get mixed up with the other kids' at pre-school. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
meh
whoever wrote this shit is a complete twat! black metal rocks the shit outta your ass so fuck you okay Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
YEAAGHHURRAGHURAWL!!!
Were I could I would giveth 668 stars to thine topsy-tenth list! Especially since, in a particularly eloquent review, C.O.F wrote "black metal rocks the shit outta your ass." I have tried black metal as a laxative, and can tell you that it ACTUALLY makes the poop crawl back up inside, rather than rocking it out. These pictures, however, have doubled me over with laughter so hard that my shit has actually EXPLODED out of my ass, turning my office into a DIARRHEA ABATTOIR! Oh, it smells like Satan Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Black metal? Or, brown metal?
I have also tried black metal as a laxative. After ingesting some Dimmu Borgir (Demon Burger, roughly translated) "ultra-fiber rice cakes" and C.O.F. (Commode Of Filth) brand laxative pills, I shat so black and violently that my anus appeared to have been wearing black metal lipstick. You might go as far as to say that the feces had been bludgeoned out of my anus by two femurs in the shape of a cross. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Asshat Poseurs
MEGALONODICK & FELCHPUNCHER - You fukin fags are so gay. You don't even get BM when you here it. Satin rules & Satin will rape you up! U have no fukin power. VENOM RULEZ, COCKSAC!!! Fagoth is a cuul word 2. Ohio ROCKS!!! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
fuck rap
fuck the fagget that wrte this, he is a fucking poser that probably likes gay fucking hip-hop and rap,fcking cunt.pussy bitches think ur all bad and shit,ill kill them all Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Wow...
Some people are fucking retarded, like, 90% of people who posted on this. I LOVE black metal- but I'm not going to delude myself into thinking that the BM image isn't absolutely ridiculously hilarious. If you like BM, you know, it IS okay to laugh at this. Unclench your asshole for five seconds, fags. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Genius.
If I could give this 6 out of 5, I would. This and the other BM top ten are INCREDIBLE. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
BM BM
I love Black metal bowel movements. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars This is great, and the fact that it pissed some people off makes it that much funnier. Oh no, Satin is coming to rape my ass! I hope he doesn't invite his badass buddies Courdoroy and 50% Rayon Blend. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Graveland
My only beef is with the Rob Darken one he is not racist. He is a heathen nationalist. Oh, and learn to spell when you bitches run your cocksuckers. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Goddamn Electric!
The second guy on the right in that picture on Handful of Hate has got to be none other than Phiip H. Anselmo, of Southern Isolation fame. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
??
Well i will admitt there were some funny pics but i dont understand why people would go to extremes to hate any kind of music, u know if u dotn liek somethign hwo the fuck cares, im not a big fan of black metal btu i will admit it is funny becuase i mean come on they get alittle to serious with their music. Its cool and all but, there are times were i wanna laugh my ass of at them but soem of the black metal is kick ass but im not into the whoel satan thing, as far as this i hate this and that g Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
haha!
Looks like the worst circus clowns i've ever seen, black metal is hillarious. And yes, i do like metal just not this shit. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Awsome
I'm guessing that everybody who did not laugh at this and gave it less than a 4/5 is still in high/middle school and hates there parents and athority figures for absoloutly no reason whatsoever. Grow up you pansy fucktards and get out in the real world and experience some metal first hand. If you acctually loved it as an artform you could laugh at it, TRUST ME. But instead you ipressionable little fucks think that they are criticizing your way of life because it's the way to stand out f Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
I think im gonna die from laughter!
OMG dude Mike from Hobart you are so fukcing hilarious, I laughed so hard i think one of my appendix just bursted. Ohh well i die with no regrets X( Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Hail..
dont care so much bout the pics guys...its not bout pics as u see its a self madin pics..they dont care bout this they dont care to look handsoms my opinion they have a great fuckin music so i dont care if they have alot of chains or not . Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Heheh...
I don't know what is more amusing; the columns, or watching the flamefests that follow. From the look of it, it would seem that a lot of barely-educated AOL'ers managed to figure out how to post their idiocy. Anyway, BM as a music is pretty damned good, but the visuals have a very high cartoon factor, which makes the two top tens all the better. I wonder if there will be a thrid list in the future? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
cockheads
if my dick was as smll as the mother fucker with torn jeans typically in the groin area i'd have to double up my fucking drawers to make sure nobody even got a peek of that little wee wee! Some hillbilly ought to give that prick a kick in the dick so hard that it'll probably just fall off. Mother fuckers with lil'wee wee's like that ought to wear a sock stuffed in a good pair of jeans and be dammed ashamed to show that lil' fucker off in a spotlight! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
\m/
Some people are too uptight about "their" music. Funny- no, hilarious list. A third must be done. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Pretty fuckin funny
IM a very big Immortal fan, and people that know immortal, know they like to make fun of themselves, watch the call of the wintermoon video by them, pure hilarity and they know it, but the thing is sometimes, they make you wonder if they are serious, they foudn teh perfect line between maybe being funny and maybe being serious..enjoy the music, all that matters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Awesome
I love black metal. I also think it's pretty much a joke. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the music and also understanding the subtle humor that underlies all of it. You either get it or your don't. Hilarious pictures and descriptions - thanks! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Well...
Okay, when people go to such lengths to insult random people on the internet in the name of a musical genre, then that's just a little too much. If you are really into the MUSIC, it doesn't matter what they look like. If you really like the music, you would be able to laugh about this kind of shit, not sit there and whine about how no one knows the true definition. If you really appreciate something to that much of an extent, you should be comfortable enough to joke about and make fun of it. May Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
COBitch sux
COBitch... are u crazy? You can also listen to this music and make fun of this ridiculous lucifers cocksuckers... Be honest: These Outfits are no longer creepy but you can wear this on halloween. I suppose you're not gonna get any fucken candy. And the guy who developed these top ten lists is the shit. You rock! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
GREAT JOB
YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB,ALL THE MOTHER FUCKERS FROM BLACK METAL BANDS ARE SO STUPIDS.KEP ON WORKINK Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
this is real shit
disgusting Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Fuckers!
You guys fucking disgust me. Black Metal might be the only metal music that havent been bought up by the media, the only music that is actually not fake. In many ways black metal is like opera, It takes time to get used to. you should give it a chanse and read the lyrics before you talk down on them. And if you still don't like them you are probably one of many million posers that listens to techno or pop music. (in other words; scum of mankind) (and by the way, Immortal was a band when t Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
wow
Alright, I fucking LOVE metal, but not this shit. REAL metal, the guys that PIONEERED the damn genre and reinvented it in so many ways (metallica, slayer, pantera, maiden, etc.) those guys are true legends. Black metal is just garbage. 'LOOK AT ME I'M SO HARDCORE! I WORSHIP SATAN AND AM FASHIONABLY INFLUENCED BY THE HOME DEPOT!' Get a life. Anyone that didn't laugh at this is either one of the aforementioned black metal idiots or just has no sense of humour. Metal rules. Black metal should be wi Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
uiuouipu
I can have a sense of humor about this stuff, the photos are funny. But I disagree with the above statement... There have been a few Black metal bands that have had enormous impact on metal in general... Mayhem, re-invented Black Metal from the days of Mercyful fate (who were arguably one of the most theatrical bands ever for their time), You have bands like Bathory who spawned Viking Metal (look at Enslaved, Unleashed, Falkenbach etc etc), you have black metal bands that have introduced folk in Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Chill Out!
All you "kvlt" kiddies need to chill out. These pictures ARE pretty damn funnny. I LOVE black metal but you gotta admit, some bands look absolutley ridicoulus! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Po-faced
I fucking LOVE extreme death metal & grindcore, but 99% of black metal is so bad that it's often way beyond parody. And what makes it even worse is that the grown men dressing like this take themselves so fuckihg seriously!!! I'd like to see if there tough enuff to walk through Brixton dressed like that! If i made music like Mayhem or Darkthrone i'd be to ashamed to play it to anyone. In fact i'd destroy the tapes and give up music forever. 1349's last CD was exellent though. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
88
Wow, soooooo pathetic. whats so funny/rediculous in those pics? The only thing that is absolutley rediculous here is all you lifeless people who say that this review was funny. Seriously, those people in the pics...they are doing something with their lives, AND YOU SHOULD TOO! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Cradle of Filth is badass
lmfao at the Badass Buddies Courdoroy and 50% Rayon Blend. Omg I havent laughed so hard in years. Like what you like who cares. They look silly, deal with it. Please make another. And fear the Satin ass rapings lol Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LMFAO!
Where did these pre-teen, Satan loving retards come from? Obviously, not school, as they don't have the rudementary skills to spell the simplest of words, like THE and YOU. These BM (bowel movement?) bands are utterly ridiculous and must have some sort of magnetic attraction to pimple faced ass clowns who think geisha face paint makes them look hard. Grow the fuck up and get a job. If it can be imagined, you are worse than your idols. At least they can count on dickheads like you to fund their e Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
at least...
well at least these guys do somthing with their time, insted of sitting around bitchin about how much better they are than evry body especially on the internet where you can hide behind a damn screen name. pussys. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
woooohoooo
Wow, just wowwww, I laughed my ass off. I'm a loyal BM fan, but it was just AWESOME...Mike, email me...just do it :))) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
ha ha ha!
2 words for all those who cursed the author of this top : SUCK UP! this is so fucking amazing! i laughed my ass off when i saw it first time! bm is ridiculous, with it's "evil" lyrics and looks... it's nothing but a bunch of female primates! they use MAKE-UP, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we await for a new top! ;) \m/ Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
you obviously didn't get a fuck in some time
for metal's sake, make a diference between music and looks!i can't but admit that some of the pictures were hilarious, i mean really fuckin' funny, but as for the unfucked cunts that screw with black metal, i would advice them to loose a bit the linkin park session.fuck you, oh, wait, excuse me, bm is a bit just to complexe for you bitches. this top is a cool thing, actually, and i think the intention was to make fun of the ridiculous things that even bm bands can make(by the way, cradle is not Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
what is this!??!?!
what the hell is this?? having fun?? i don't think so... when you'll understand the black metal as it i maybe we'll see something better... not making fu of 10 of the best black metal bands... Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
You make this too easy
Wow, some of the spelling in these posts is making my brain liquefy and run out my ears. You know, typing "URE TEH FAGGOT BM RULZ' only succeeds in making you look like more of an idiot. WE ARE ALL LAUGHING AT YOU. And Jesus Christ, if you get your panties in a wad over some silly web page, you can't have that much confidence in your taste in music. I'd advise that if you can't manage to get a sense of humor, stay inside and learn to lick your own balls so that you never have to leave your r Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
...
Black metal owns. No disscussion needed. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
...
I am a big fan of Black Metal. Immortal is actually a very good band. But come on.... this is fucking hilarious! I just about pissed myself. Oh and if you really are a big fan of Black Metal you would find this very funny, instead of getting your tits in a tangle. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
black metal IS shitty pics
every black metal band in history has had at least one bad pic. think about it. ok for example, the most probable and important black metal band ever, emperor , had some of the worst pics and videos ever. ok why the fuck does Samoth ride a horse in Loss and curse of reverence? why do they always devert back to the wood chair? where did ishahn get the fucking chest plate? besides that, their first pics of emperor and of thou shalt suffer were horrible. the classis emperor pic i always think of is Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
black hicksville
I can't believe no-ones notice this already -- Galder's guitar pose isn't zpladding metal. It's manwhoring hillbilly. He looks like he's dueling banjos with someone. What with the guy from the last 10 worst of all time with the suspenders and the scythe, I think you need a new category - black'n'bluegrass. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
OMFG
Well, this might surprise you, but I listen to black metal. Now, that's black metal, not Cradle of Fuckups or Demon Burger. And when I saw these pictures, I doubled up with laughter. OMFG! I haven't laught this hard in ages! Thank you, Ruthless reviews! You've made my life richer! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LOL
I keep wondering,how humourless these BM guys still are these days.The music rocks,for sure,but all the stuff around,c'mon guys,give it a break!Many of these guys seem brainwashed,just hate mankind,nazis,racists and create their own so-called satanism out of it.Grow up,ppl!Al that boobabaloo is cool if not taken serious,but if it gets,it's not cool anymore.Thumbs up for this top 10! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
shitty make up
it's about the music and the meaning of the lyrics.. not about the fuckin make up!! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Awesomeeee!
This is top notch , all this gay ass fucktards don't even realize the idiots they are , wtf is BM anyway , must be some kind of sick joke , your fuckin' music makes me wanna choke , we hate your music we hate you 2 , you cannot hide you stupid fucks i really think your music sucks! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Rock out with your cock out!
These are fucking KILLERS. I laughed so hard that I started growling through my ass. Anyway, have you noticed that Varg Vikernes looks an awful lot like Jim Carrey? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
heh
I like black metal a lot, but these pictures made me laugh and also the text. chill bill. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Awesome
I love black metal and I haven't laughed like this in years! Fucking great stuff!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
addorable
man, i thought the article was funny, until i read all the responses!! good work (hence the 5/5) but... DAMN! so many little dumbass "satinists" on here... its a joke. black metal is a huge fuckin joke. heavy metal is a huge fuckin joke. all metal, and all music in general is just a big fucking joke now. either you laugh, or die from all that backed up anal retention. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Ha.
I'm with Aditya. I'm a metal fan. whether it's black, death, thrash, speed, I don't care. But what makes these pictures funny is how the title states, they're ridiculous. Also reading some of the comments on here made me laugh; people as ridiculous as our pictures posted here. You can't even spell the name of your god Satan right. The future of humanity is doomed to stupidity. Back on track, this and the previous one were funny. Galder probably had to have the most ridiculous. That, or Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
THE SHIT!!!!!
ok seriously, SILENCE. Black metal is the shit, some black metal isnt the shit, all metal is the shit, listen to the shit religiously unless the shit is shit in which case dont listen 2 the shit. Don’t shit on other people’s shit no matter how shit the shit is because thats their shit and they can just worship the shit and spend everyday of their shit lives shitting away the time shitting on real music with their shit. my conclusion is METAL minus the fucking subgenres people get carried away wi Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Auschwitz the meaning of pain...
What da fuck do you fucking bloody freak know about fucking black metal?!?!?!?! You are fucking retarded!!! Not these 10 pictures you have puted on this page!!! ok maybe dani is gay and dimmu borgir are gay but IMMORTAL, SATYRICON, DARKTHRONE!!! Better put your own picture here you fucking retard. I bet that you looks like fucking Tarja from Nightwish you fucking bloody idiot. Go outside your farm and fuck something or be fucked or even better go and jump under the train. Save the world of your Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
"Lord" is obviously not gay
Yeah, "Lord" is right! There's nothing funny about black metal! Just look at the "Children of Finland!" Arrrgh...puts chills down my spine. Of course, "Lord" knows everything about black metal: It's all about the clothes! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LOL
COULDNT STOP LAUGHING!!!!! I love black metal music but the people who make it look like gimps Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Holly Fucking Cowbells Batman!!!!
Thumbs Up to Mike, u rock! I love all 3 bands most featured in the pics in both top 10s (D.M., Im. and C.O.F., in that order), but let's face it, these pics are way out there... I honestly think that the way these guys dress does make sense, "accentuating" if u will the ideas behind rather perverse lyrics, and I see nothing wrong with it. But that doesn't mean I didn't laugh my ass out with the review. Music has to be "fun", not a way of life guys. Keep up the good work! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
XD
This is so bloody hilarious I have no longer got any make-up on - it's been washed away by my laughters tears. #5 got me in complete hysterics, and my little brother asked me what sodomy was. Oh Hell, I couldn't stop laughing. The gay pose in #4...I will be sending that to EVERYONE. And #1!!! Oh dear... I thought Immortal would be on here somewhere - and I saw they were on the last list twice. Well deserved. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
not bad...
I think that some photos are really funny and with an awful taste for clothing and/or attitude. In my opinion, Handful of Hate picture is sincerely not bad. Children of Finland seem all except for a BM band. Maniac as always shows to be a cunt, and Rob Darken drinks cum from the dicks of nigerian homosexuals! This is a good review. FUCK NSBM!!! NO POLITICS IN BLACK METAL!!! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Satin Ruls!
Oh man, I just had to weigh in. Fucking hilarious pics and text. That Ricky Kasso sure has a way with the Kings English. I guess you really can use BM interchangably (i.e. Bowel Movement, Black Metal). 'Satin will rape you up'. Sounds like a reference to the movie Grease. And the last time Ohio rocked was when Lil' Ricky had to many Lil' Kings and just thought it did. (It actually never did).Suck It! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
I love it
Who wrote thes headlines for the pics, is fuckin funnier than shit. I laughed something fierce when i read these. And thanks guys, now ive got some cool Bm pics! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
BM
BM does rule and I agree with half the shit ont here. Dani Filth has a voice as if hes been ass fucked with a chainsaw while someone twits his balls around with a wood clamp. Immortal is badass of all..their poses are shitty though but till they rule. and NUMBER 1 - rockin out with the cock out, only true matlers woudl do that shit hahaha, fuckin brutal. Just would suck if he fell on a spike that impailed his balls. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
gayest thing iv ever seen
l;lll this gay do you know any thing obveisly not dumbass Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
whatever
hahaha fucking funny, but anyway black metal is not funny, retards like the guy in graveland or dani filth make it not funny but stupid,or maniac, probably the most stupid asshole :S black metal is a fucking war, not a costume contest Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
this is hilarious
heh i love this review, it's so goddamn funny. and by the way mr. "Black Metal might be the only metal music that havent been bought up by the media," do you know why it hasn't been bought up? just look at these pictures. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Dani Filth(fag)
Hes not BM at all. CoF is mainstream gay shit! And apparantly you shouldnt be allowed to talk about this you probably look like some stupid fag fairy elf thing. Bitch! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Love it.
Oh gosh, I love this site! And I also love those comments "the true black metallists" have left. So much fun. It's funny how they seem to be so fucking serious yet they dont realize how damn ridiculous they are. Lol. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
get a lfe
why dont you nerds do something with your lives rather than bash on genius composers of true fucking metal. these are great men who can write very good songs and have ten ten times more talent than you pussys. DEATH TO THE FASLE HAIL TO THE TRUE Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
kvlt-o-mania
Black metal bands are doing nothing with their lives. Come on. Half of them work at the Olive Garden in the kitchen. And no, the majority of BM bands aren't good at all. A few are excellent. The rest are early for Halloween. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
The big picture
This particular section has become one of the classic features if RR, and also the one which brought me here. I´m one of those who think that the tr00 and kvlt crowd should chill. I truly enjoy BM, nihilistic music that flows through the speakers as cilling wind, but the whole "corpsepaint n´ studs" look is beyond ludicrous. Mike was not panning the music itself (in fact, he´s a fan as long as I know), but the image as a whole. So, I suggest enjoying this article while listening to some desperat Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
this shit is fucking hilarious
fuck. I don't know what's more hilarious, those utterly and fantastically ridiculous pictures or the multitude of impassioned and clueless black metal dudes trying to defend them. I mean, for fuck's sake, I like a lot of black metal but it boggles me that so many can't have a sense of humour about it. So many things about BM are hilarious, many of them illustrated by these pictures. Seriously, no one is ever to going to be "evil" like those crazy ass Norwegians were back in the day. It's li Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Metal is boring..
..and black metal is the living definition of why I can't take the metal genre seriously anymore. I'd give this one 10 out of 5 if that was possible. TerrorEBM and aggrotech eats BM for breakfast. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
hailz
haha, i love black metal and i think the whole grimm and frostbitten image of it is fucking lame. but so what, its music. on rob from graveland: if you're gonna be nazi, at least be intelligent, not just some racist idiot. dont get me wrong, graveland is awesome but i dont think they really know what they sing about. varg on the other hand is a genious....AND a facist asshole Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
they all look like kiss.be original
awesome.you really got some sense of humor.this guys should be really going to iraq to beat the shit out of hostages.they ll be heard of more for sure than they do with their music.btw led zep black sabbath deep purple iron maiden metallica.that is metal.keep it up Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
Can't decide which is funnier, the pics, the text or the comments! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Funnier than the 1st one
That Galder character looks like Powder, and that "Satin" worshiper post is the most unintentionally funny thing I've ever read. "Ohio ROCKS!!!" I'm not joking that it took me about 5 minutes to realize "BM" stood for "black metal". That's an unfortunate abbreviation you got there... Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Funny as fuck
Mike from Hobart has created a masterpiece here. This, as other people have said, is a perfect laxative; my toilet bowl is now stained brown from all the shit (I'm not joking). Although my shit might not be as bad as Vrangsinn's! Jesus Christ!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
funny
funny stuff hahhaah except #10 should have been higher Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Dastardly ^_^
Somewhat amusing, however obtuse. BM, and no, for those who possess the underpinnings of a most infantile mentality not 'Bowel Movement' when not desecrated by the likes of said artists and or anonymous persons through an entirely heinous propensity to illustrate idiocy, is sufficient. For one to generalise, especially when in affiliation with such *stares* atrocious imagery is for one to rise to affluence within heavens bounds, a lackluster disposition, imo. Also, an individual who makes mo Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
HAHA
Wonderful. Just too effin wonderful. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Don't be stupid
This is directly intended to all of you who misinterpret this review, I am CERTAIN that the creator of this humor IS a black metal fan, and is simply poking fun at our own culture. If you think he's thrashing black metal in it's entirety, you're fucking retarded. I adore the culture and the music, I claim it to be my own way of life, even, and I'm not blind to the fact that some of us in this field can really take it too far and come off looking stupid, which is surely what this reviewer meant t Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
black metal is the only mature metal
Are you all insane, or just very young and arrogant. Black metal is art, it is the only adult metal around with old gothic styled literature lyrics, other metal bands just sing about drugs etc and constantly say fuck. Only adults generally appreciate black metal as it has roots from classical and opera and is tasteful unlike slipknot etc Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Idiots
You're all idiots who are willing to laugh at something you know nothing about. Black metallers have ideologies and views on things that they are willing to express and feel strongly enough about to do so, whereas most of you who come here are drones who just get up and go to work, come home laugh at this bullshit then sleep. Do loop. No thought put into anything important. Most black metal isn't even about satanism at all. 90% of black metallers are pagans, not satanists. The satanism thing was Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Dumbasses and Jokes
Ok, I can take a joke as much as the next guy, and I do laugh at how ridiculous these guys are, I myself am one, but you guys who put it down need to be verbly sodomized by satan. Black Metal is a way of life, art, and music.(Falls into art, but still) Any of you who have the BALLS to say black metal is stupid to a black metalist, I give you Kudos. Till then, you guys can write all the shit you want over the internet, lying awake at night wondering how much of pussys you are. Take it easy -Lor Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Brilliant!!!
I stumbled upon this site-most of the Tards on here have never read "Grimoire" but this has that feel to it. Listen-been involved in BM since 85 when I got "The Return"-its humor folks-with a tinge of truth. If you are not one of the early 90's BM bands from Scandinavia-you shouldnt have corpsepaint. And truth be told-most of Norse BM bands were not evil-nor incredibly underground (ask immortal about their guitar "endorsements") the image can be rather....silly-Good job guys- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Ridiculous
This is brilliant. I love BM in its entireity.. but jesus you have to be able to laugh!! This is HILARIOUS! Try to find a female in black metal. That would be ridiculous. Hail, cunning linguist. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
DF
WELL THE ONLY THING HERE THAT IS FUNY IS CHILDREN OF FINLAND I AM AGREE WITH THAT FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT. NOBODY ASK YOUR OPINION ABOUT OF WHAT YOU CANT BE LIKE REAL MASTER OF BM Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Other 10..Blk Metal Pics all time
The Vrangsinn’s Ass part was so funny. Core samples??? I'm dying over here. The rest was pretty good, too. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Handful of Hate
Stop being a fuckhead. The concept; good, your comment; rediculous. You're clearly some sexualy frustrated 18 year old boy who can't get a decent fuck. I, as a girl, speak of experience; Handful of hate is not gay! They are great fuckers with the best cocks. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
haha
first off i would like to say that i am a HUGE FAN of black, death, grindcore, and basically any type of metal out there but these pics are hilarious Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
tee hee
hahaha, i am glad to see i am not the only person to see how utterly ridiculous black metal can be sometimes. i mean i love the music, but really peple... dont take it all so seriously Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LOL
lol blackmetal Rating: 5 out of 5 stars Haha, great!. Taake is one hell of a motherfucker! By the way, I love black metal stuff (not the raw stuff) but I don't take any of it seriously. The music is great. It's all that matters as far as I'm concerned. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
even more funny
what I was trying to say earlier was the funny thing is the people making fun of these black metal guys assuming the music sucks just because the pics are dumb. Well I'll bet a lot of you have had some pretty shitty pictures before. The only difference is a lot of people know who the pics are of whereas noone knows or gives a shit about yours. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
jajaja
xD que es esta mierda me cago de la risa xDD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
umm...yah
This was funny, but really, a lot of Rock shows are about making it as crazy looking as you can, even if it looks dumb, with the right lighting, and music, it actually looks pretty cool, it can make the most retarded costume look awesome...but yah, this WAS hilarious! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
-
Most of these bands / projects listed on the top 10 aren't even serious black metal, mostly just commercialized mainstream black metal acts (and what is Dani doing there in the first place?), or totally unknown and worthless joke bands (Children of Finland?). Except Vulture Lord which seems interesting, and well, Graveland has put something good at least. But yeah, they look fucking ridicolous. It's just too bad everyone thinks that all black metal acts are like that because of a few mainstea Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
huh??
Half these knobs should have their tours sponsored by "Black and Decker" or "Home"fuckin"Depot"!! How come none of these fags has a chainsaw? Is that considered out of context for a bunch of ritalistic pagan homo-eroticists? Yeah...probably. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Awesome.
LYK RLY AWSM K? No seriously, I also listen to metal yet at the same time appreciate how much they are ridiculed. I also find it funny that some fans of BM are getting angry over something that should be taken humorously. Makes things MORE HILARIOUS. Sometimes it's just good to poke fun at a genre. KEEP THE FUNNY ALIVE! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
WTF???
This is so hilarious! I LOVE it! It made me laugh so hard that a little bit of wee came out. I gotta change my pants now. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
black metal
i am a fan of black metal, and have been for a while. though i love the music, i can't stand some of the pathetic photos associated with the genre. though cof isn't black metal, i do listen to their older songs and really like them. the trick is not to associate them with black metal. that is how i found them to be quite good. as far as real black metal goes, it is safe to say that the people who listen will always love it. the only thing that hurts black metal are the freakin annoying photos. s Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
crapp..
Hey listen Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Wow,
Instead of ragging on the guy, you should stay in school. I'm pretty sure a 10 year old writes better than the majority of you all. Black Metal is so gay, Richard Simmons actually fucked a girl. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
.black metal...
black metal is pure art and I don't give a fuck about your childish comments.....Black metal is art and War!!!....and cof cof is junk not black metal.... Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Idiots.
Some of you are such fucking idiots. The guy who wrote this is CLEARLY a fan of black metal. He isn't insulting, just pointing out how bands can go over the top and it's funny. If you had a sense of fucking humour, you wouldn't be offended at all. As for me, I LOVE black metal, and yes, these pictures are hilarious. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Metal fan >? pfff... panty yeah...
First, i don't even know how i got here... Just wnated to tell you that you obviously don't know what is Black metal... I got to Fking mad reaidng at what you said in that "review" i woudn't even call this a review... I'd call this a shit made by a shiteater! lol man...Gofaqyosef and have a great Fking life! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
"Wait, there is no future of black metal..."
The music is great, but how the fuck are Immortal and CF considered "pure art"? Hell, they don't even take themselves seriously. Black Metal isn't krieg, it's fucking farcical. Great commentary Herr von Hobart. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
omce again, fuck you
you know, i should get a picture of you, yeah you asshole, and post it on a website and make fun of you. At least these bands are making something with their lives, all you do is ridicule. Va chier mon osti de trou de cul. why don't you take country signers and show the world who is really gay! and maybe slide in a picture of a catholic priest...they like to suck dick too...and jesus was so gay, they had to crucify him! black metal rules... Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
HAHAHAHA LOLZERCAUST
HAHAHA BM IS SHITE AS SO IS THE GEEK THAT WROTE THIS Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
My mother was just awakened...
...by what sounded like screams of agony or somebody choking to death in her home at 6:17AM. When she knocked on my bedroom door asking if I needed medical attention, it didn't help that tears were streaming down my face and I'd wet my pants. I tried explaining it was just uncontrollable laughter, but she was convinced I had overdosed on drugs. That is, until I showed her this site! Now she's the one screaming, "My eyes, my eyes!" Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Great Review
"Satin rules & Satin will rape you up!"...So Ricky you mean satin as in the fabric? So fabric is going to rape some one up huh...pretty fucking brutal fabric..oh wait you meant SATAN!!! This whole top ten list is awesome, most of these bands are jokes now adays and have earned the mochery and then some. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
funny
I really like some black metal. I also think people who dress up in costumes when its not halloween are funny and need to be laughed at. No different than any genre taken way out of context with reality. Its like the dorks that go to renassiance fairs or Trekkie conventions, or Darkthrone concerts. Its rediculous. But funny because these people really think they "look good". Can you imagine watching one of these dudes putting on his makeup, sorry, corpsepaint, before a big night on the forest fo Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Whatever...
I fucking love black metal...and also other kinds of metal(like thrash, death, heavy etc)this pics are really funny...I don't listen to most of these bands (except for the black metal gods and legends Immortal)everybody has had bad pics before and wtf is it with those finnish kids???...they're not black metal a all or even metal in general!!!!...the thing is I hate people who insult a kind of music if you never heard the music or read the lyrics...I'm ashamed of metal heads who are insulting bla Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
your dead momma
so you think you can just criticise eh. hah. go on, hide behind your stupid screen. i just so happen to click on an external link and i found so many stupid comments by losers. lol. none of you know anything about black metal. losers. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
BM fuckwits
The spelling of half these posts shows the intelligence of black metal fans. This shit's garbage and targeted at 16 year old closet fags. Go wear your mom's makeup bitch about how much life sucks. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Ja!
Ahhh!! So damn funny! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
u all suck!!
black metal is awsome u dont know shit about it! sattan will anally rape your fucking dog in the ass you cunt! HAIL SATTAN! BLACK METAL WILL SURVIVE! FUCK EVERY OTHER TYPE OF MUSIC! -666- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Awesome.
I love black metal, and not gay shit like CoF and Demon Burger, but the real shit. I've laughed my arse off the first few times I saw this article. Come on, retards who can't take a joke deserve to die. Black metal is cool, but these pictures are horrible. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
You stupid jerks!
Not even Satan has a sense of humour, isn't that sad? No, BM rocks and if anybody thinks these guys are taking themselves seriously, you're just the most pathetic stupid crap I've ever heared about. Because noone can. The only reason why they are no posers is their fucking good music, even CoF's good, though it's not real BM. And that's the real problem: Why do you silly BMs always think, untrueness can't be cool? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Alex
Yo dude,this site is fuckin' awesome,i haven't had a laugh like this in a couple of months..thank you, but i think that you forgot the band Gorgoroth,they're the biggest black metal garbage ever,judging by their look ofcourse,also by the music :D..peace out Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
black metal rules
you suckers u can suck my dick.what do u have agains dani filth you should make fun of your music.you asshole Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Satin is a fabric
you are all the gheyest collection of web cunts evah ... fuckin retarded web cunts at that fuck you all and your retarded parents love Jesus Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Spellcheck
BM followers: see comment title Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
STUPID
I see stupid people on both sides. Some of you who don't listen to Black Metal should shut the fuck up, for the simple reason-You don't know a damn thing about Black metal. Then theres the supposed BM fans who have worse fucking grammar than an inner city hip hop convention, and no points to make other then "Satin wil rapee U." I didn't check out the rest of the site, but I'm pretty sure the guy that did this DOES like black metal. I'm a huge black metal fan. Been around since it's unholy b Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
damnn
hahahaa man I am a HUGE cradle fan but I found what you wrote about that picture fuckin histerical. I couldn't stop laughing, it was just too good lol but yea mostly why this is, is because cradle of filth is mad gay now. they used to be the best to me. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
black metal rules
I don't know whaty kind of person you are butt it's not about how the band looks butt it's about the music thy make!!! en if you don't like metal : it's not gay if you wanna see something gay go look r&b! i mean thy wear pink t-shirts! if that isn't gay than i'm santa... anyway if you don't like metal go suck donky balls because metalheads,goths,emo's,... will rule the world someday! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
AWESOME!
THAT WAS AWESOME, I MEAN, I LIKE BLACK METAL, BUT WE HAVE TO ACCEPT THEY DRESS LIKE CLOWNS! REALLY FUNNY, TNX! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Black metal rulz
"I don't give a shit if you hate me". Just the bands of shit like cof and others, bring the black metal to the masses. The black metal is a form of art it isn't for all "pokemons" (fakers, clowns) The real black metal is that metal of Burzum, Immortal,Vader, nargaroth, gorgoroth, marduk etc.(excuse my spelling) Toate pozele alea sunt nishte cacaturi...chiar prima e cea mai nasoala....cof a adus black metalul maselor...care defapt blackul trebuia sa ramana ascuns, sa aiba secretele lui...cei ce f Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
LMDO
I'm a black metal fan all the way and I don't give a fuck, this shit was fucking funny. Like Dani's a fucking fag, and Galder is obviously traumatized from some childhood tragedy, and those kids missed the circus applications, and Maniac, oh my, He Joined Mayhem because he wasn't accepted as an Old Navy Male model. So overall this shit was fucking hilarious, and deserves WAY better reviews than it has gotten. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
go suck satan's tits for all I care!
you BM's or satan's children for all I care can go to hell and cry to mama satan cause its fucking annoying!I admit these pictures are fucking crazy and can give my grandma a heart attack but please grow up get a life and move on...even my dog would shit on you if it saw this shit Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LEVEEEEEEE
you fuckers, faggots, pussies, eat shit and die, total black metal, LEVEEEE, kudos to the maker of this top 10 cus' he's BLACK METAl...all others are cocksuckers LEVEEEEE...TOTAL SATAN...magna varadinum LEVEEEE Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LEVEEEEE dude, hey
leveee dude, you gotta relax man, loosen up that belt man. oh, and stay in school. "it rocks!" Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Wtf!!
Great pics - saw the first series also (from link on this page i believe). It's the great comments that make me almost piss my pants, and makes you realize just how fuckin stupid the whole thing is. As a musician myself...and a gigging guitarist of 20+ years , the absence of guitars (or ANY instruments whatsoever) in the photos, confirms that the genre is only about image, and not so much music, so funny are the pics though. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
ripppin
thank you this is hilarious Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
QQQQQQ
Some words of wisdom for metal fans that read this and were pissed off, Nobody cares. Grow up, and admit that these pictures look stupid. I love a lot of these bands, but I laughed. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
brilliant
i love black metal, but this is the perfect list of what's so gay about it. i could do and have done better make-up than what these guys have. this list goes on my wall of metal. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
HAHAHAH
Don't get me wrong. I love black metal. But this shit is HILARIOUS! Not only was I laughing at all the pictures, but the shit written about each one. I was laughing so hard, I was CRYING! Bwahahahaha!! The only one I didn't really need to see was Vrangsinn's cottage cheese ass. I'm gonna have to charge this guy for my therapy bills! Warn someone next time! Hahaha You really need to make another one. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
I love black metal...it`s so funny
Black metal is the funniest and most disgraceful thing in the world...now don`t get me wrong...i`m a rocker...i listen to Pantera...even Meshuggah...but this...:)))) is IMBECILITY!!! great review...5 stars :D Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
DragonForce
This is what I get for googling "Dragon Force" + "gayest lyrics ever." By the way, what's up with all the dumb white kids who think that if you don't like fag-metal you must like (c)rap music. THERE ARE OTHER GENRES OF MUSIC YOU LITTLE TURDS. You have access to the internet, why does your knowledge of music only go so far as what they air on MTV... Jesus. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
haha
lol at all the bm kids getting angry. i like metal, but this bands are just gay Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
haha love it
i love black metal and images like these are just another reason why. great! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
totally
We need a war to weed out losers like ALL you wastes!! go hug your Mom for fucks sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Fuck you bicth
Fuck you thing you can not understand what is the black metal because YOU ARE A FUCKING DIRTY HUMAN LIKE EVERYONE.....the BLACK METAL is a thing of life...and is simple....we didn't like the human race.....our spirit was delivred to SATAN.....and for you and other assole....you just deserve to die like the FUCKING HUMAN Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
TTF
Wanna leave feedback on this review? Click here!
haha, i love this. the whole children of finland thing. another thing if the youngins want to take a picture do it somewhere suitable. Without the floral curtains :) And as said, get rid of the band shirts... And lastly, fix the make up. They kinda look like disturbed mimes at the moment. Dude in the left of the pic, PUT A SHIRT ON! Also they need to watch their facial expressions. In this pic they all look like happy, confused drama kids. Awesome list, lovin it :D Rating: 5 out of 5 stars |
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Why isn't Dani Filth #1? He looks like he's pooping out that puppy he ate for breakfast. No, actually...Dani Filth isn't black metal enough to eat puppies. A ham.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars